Funny how he thinks his wife should not cry before his son „because it‘s bad for him“ but doesn‘t see a problem in the kid seeing him not speak to her. I could be wrong, but I think the kid will resent his Dad one day. I don‘t think she forced him to do the procedure (it does not sound like she threatened him or something). I get it. He wanted more kids and now he is devastated. But life sometimes happens that way. I think it’s ok to not speak to her for a time, but he could have communicated it more maturely to his wife AND his kid. And he could have frozen some sperm or divorced sooner maybe… or they might have talked sooner about how many kids they want. I don’t know. I think it’s ok to be sad and mad but his post sounds a bit immature to me

Of course Reddit users would think he is being reasonable and rational, not that he needs therapy to sort his projection out.

Totally the AH! Set your own feelings aside for your kid! He deserved a mom and dad who can co-exist together and not be two children who don’t talk to each other!

This is incredibly immature, this guy needs therapy. Holding a grudge 5 years after the fact, and refusing to coparent like a mature adult over something that, as other people have said, can be worked around with another procedure if he wants more kids. But pathetic and I feel sorry for the kid

They can extract sperm surgically without reversing the vasectomy so see an IVF specialist. My then partner and I did this. You have wrong info if you think you are unable to biologically father more kids. This post spreads wrong info since you can extract sperm without a reversal procedure.

If there is one thing we know for sure, it's that OPs ex had nothing to do with the vasectomy being permanent (it's not like she did the cutting). So OP clearly just needs someone to blame and suffer for his pain and regrets.

I don't think he's TA for not wanting contact with his ex - that's his right, his process, and what he needs to heal, and she isn't entitled to have him in her life, like another commenter said. However, he IS TA for holding onto so much resentment over medical procedure that ultimately he agreed to have. It's NOT her fault that he can't have more kids, and he needs to understand that before he "gets rather serious" with anyone else.

Many family court systems have an app or a portal where divorced parents who can't get along can communicate about their kid(s).

Get over it, you can always adopt, but you shouldn't until you work through whatever issues you're going through.

Way immature. It's a loss, and he's grieving. If he needs some temporary distance for his mental health, it would be sensible to ask for contact only via a coparenting app, or only as strictly necessary regarding their kid. He also needs to recognise that it's not actually her fault, any more than his, that his vasectomy may not be reversable. He agreed to do it. Now he's changed his mind. Anger is part of grief, but he needs to work through it, and not let it hurt the son he has. It's not fair to put him (or OP's sister) in the middle. Act like an adult, and be civil for the sake of your son. And get a second opinion, there may still be hope.

He's a whining little boy. He needed to sign the approval for surgery, the surgeon would have asked him if he was sure he wanted the vasectomy because it's a elective procedure. Sometimes these operations are reversible but not often and this would have been explained to him. His problem is he doesn't want to take responsibility for his choices. Spitting the dummy out of his cot isn't the actions of a

YTA fo sho.

To be honest, I don't care about the two so-called adults here. They should keep their business to themselves and not burden their child with it.

If he wanted more kids and she didn't, they should have split then.

He seems very immature and like he's looking for someone to blame for a problem that has not really even affected his life yet. I think he's displacing some other anger over the divorce into this issue and blowing it up. And he claims it's for his mental peace? Sounds more like his ex is a nice person who cares about him and he's just running away from his emotions, he doesn't want to talk to her because he doesn't want to deal with difficult feelings. He's setting a terrible example for his child as well. This is not how you deal with things as a grown up. It's no wonder they got divorced with his attitude.

Does this guy even have a new partner he wants to have kids with??

Op needs to worry less about the kids he isn’t having and more about the kid he has. That means positive co parenting.

BlueGreen totally missed the point.

Kind of YTA. Your wife made you do it ... yeah, maybe that's so, but, that another person can make you do stuff to an extent that you're absolved of any responsibility, in itself, is already wrong and your fault. If you didn't come to agree with the vasectomy, you shouldn't have had it done. This is different than being convinced of something by somebody - it reads like she ordered it, and you obeyed. The debate, it seems, had been closed prematurely, as ... after all, you get to decide about your body, and you either were too easy to convince to obey rather than being truly convinced of the surgery in question. Either way, YTA, but not really extreme ... appears rather dumb than evil, kind of, ... but, who has convinced you not to speak with your ex wife again? Own idea, this time?

See, I'm guessing this behaviour is why she's his ex in the first place. I feel sorry for his son, how is he going to be able to celebrate any accomplishment in the future if his dad is being such a twat? Graduation, marriage, milestone birthdays, everything, his dad is going to make about himself.

OP made the choice to have the procedure, he should have tought it out better.

I'm sorry, but this is ridiculous. Your poor son. Grow up and take responsibility for your own decisions, you can't blame your ex or anyone for the things you chose. She didn't give you a vasectomy while you were sleeping, you agreed to it. There are plenty of children in the world without fathers, be a foster dad and help someone instead of whatever this immature behavior is. Not talking to her solves absolutely nothing, but it does make you look like a child.