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“I’m Betraying My Integrity”: Man Refuses To Take A Paternity Test For His Wife’s Friend’s Baby
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“I’m Betraying My Integrity”: Man Refuses To Take A Paternity Test For His Wife’s Friend’s Baby

“I'm Betraying My Integrity”: Man Refuses To Take A Paternity Test For His Wife’s Friend’s BabyWife Drops Paternity Test On Husband Of 5 Years After Her Friend Has A BabyHusband Fights To Clear His Name Amidst Shocking Paternity Claims, Seeks Perspective OnlineMan Refuses To Be Accused Of Infidelity After Wife Demands He Get Paternity TestedMan Laughs In Wife’s Face After She Demands A Paternity Test For Her Friend’s Baby“I’ve Never Cheated On My Wife”: Man Shocked After Woman Demands A Paternity TestMan Blindsided When Wife Demands Paternity Test For Her Friend’s BabyWife Threatens To Divorce Husband If He Doesn't Take A Paternity Test For Her Friend’s BabyMarriage Of 5 Years Gets Shook When Wife Randomly Accuses Husband Of Having An Affair Baby“It’s Eating Me Alive”: Man Can’t Look At His Wife The Same After Her Cheating Accusations
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Almost half of all first marriages end in divorce. There are many reasons couples head for Splitsville. But among the most common are infidelity and/or broken trust. 60% of couples polled in one survey cited cheating as the reason for their marriage crumbling. Sometimes the affair can be proven. But other times, a spouse will walk out based on suspicion.

One man claims he was caught completely off-guard when his wife of five years accused him of stepping out on her. She’s convinced he fathered a child outside of the marriage. She’s given him an ultimatum that’s left him feeling very uncomfortable. The man is now wondering whether he should give into his wife’s request. Or whether they’ve reached the end of the road.

The man said they’d never had problems before, and he thought they were happily married

Image credits: Anna Shvets / pexels (not the actual photo)

Everything suddenly changed when the wife’s friend had a baby

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Image credits: 1footage / envato (not the actual photo)

Image credits: NightmareGod198

A lab would need samples from the man and the baby in order to do a paternity test

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The most common type of paternity uses a cheek swab to collect a DNA sample from the potential father. Cleveland Clinic explains DNA like this: “the genetic material inside your body’s cells. It acts like an instruction manual to help make you who you are. You inherit DNA from both of your biological parents — half from each parent.”

A healthcare provider will use a cotton swab to get cheek (buccal) cells from the inside of your mouth. But there are also home paternity test kits available nowadays. “When we test a biological father, both the child and their father will share identical sections of DNA at each marker. If the man tested is not the child’s biological father, there will be differences in the DNA,” reads one laboratory site that specializes in DNA testing.

DNA paternity tests are quite accurate. The results show a probability of paternity. 0 means no genetic match between the man and the child. In other words, he isn’t the father. While a result of 99.9 indicates it’s highly likely the man is the genetic parent.

 

“Hand her the test results and divorce papers”: Many took the man’s side, with some advising him to leave his wife

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Robyn Smith

Robyn Smith

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Robyn is an award-winning journalist who has produced work for several international media outlets. Made in Africa and exported to the world, she is obsessed with travel and the allure of new places. A lover of words and visuals, Robyn is part of the Bored Panda writing team. This Panda has two bamboo tattoos: A map of Africa & the words "Be Like The Bamboo... Bend Never Break."

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Robyn Smith

Robyn Smith

Writer, BoredPanda staff

Robyn is an award-winning journalist who has produced work for several international media outlets. Made in Africa and exported to the world, she is obsessed with travel and the allure of new places. A lover of words and visuals, Robyn is part of the Bored Panda writing team. This Panda has two bamboo tattoos: A map of Africa & the words "Be Like The Bamboo... Bend Never Break."

Gabija Palšytė

Gabija Palšytė

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Gabija is a photo editor at Bored Panda. Before joining the team, she achieved a Professional Bachelor degree in Photography and has been working as a freelance photographer since. She also has a special place in her heart for film photography, movies and nature.

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Gabija Palšytė

Gabija Palšytė

Author, BoredPanda staff

Gabija is a photo editor at Bored Panda. Before joining the team, she achieved a Professional Bachelor degree in Photography and has been working as a freelance photographer since. She also has a special place in her heart for film photography, movies and nature.

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Hphizzle
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She already has one foot out of the marriage. Take the dna test and present the results with divorce papers.

R Dennis
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's the same thing I would tell a wife if her husband demanded a paternity test... trust broken.

Load More Replies...
FreeTheUnicorn
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even with DNA proof the child isn't yours, that doesn't prove you didn't cheat. You can't prove a negative, and now that it's clear your wife thinks you would/have cheated, it's only going to escalate. She will see signs of cheating in other situations. The trust is gone, and you should end things. The relationship is heading that way and dragging it out will only be more painful.

moggie63
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Of course OP is the father, it's obvious, both he and the baby have a nose.

Bowtechie
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm with the commenters asking about Jas, and a part of me wonders if she's the one to actually put this idea in the wife's head. Maybe she has a secret thing for OP and is trying manipulate the situation? Idk. If she did, she's a sick, sick person and certainly not a friend, but if she didn't what reason would OP's wife have to think she'd consent to this cocamamy idea anyway?

Jane Jayne Jain Jeign Jein
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The thing I find really wild is this idea of open phone policy to check on each other, ring cameras to check on visitors, tracking apps to check location. None of that is what trust looks like. I trust my partner unconditionally, and don't need any of this paranoia-inducing, spy-normalising technology to do so. (I have him on a map tracker in case he gets into trouble while walking in the hills). But also, if he asked me for a paternity test it would be game over.

Bookworm
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I didn't get the sense that the cameras and the Google location were specifically for tracking each other. Lots of people have Ring cameras just to watch the front door, and Google tracks everywhere your phone goes unless you specifically turn your location off. They probably weren't using the tech to spy on each other, until OP had a reason to go looking for proof that his wife might be cheating.

Load More Replies...
DrBronxx
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

His wife wants out, and is trying to make him the villain so she can feel better about herself when they get divorced.

Scott Rackley
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dude needs to realize there is no winning scenario, test or no test.

Nina
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What a weird way to tell him she wants out of the marriage.

Holly Fraser
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It sounds a bit like the wife is having some sort of mental breakdown and paranoia attack to accuse with nothing else going on

Schmebulock
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There is so much left out here. Why does the wife think he cheated and what did her friend say.

Karina
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I find it Odd that he dosnt adress Jan and her thoughts and opinions on this at all.

Jason K
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd like to know if they've been trying to have kids and can't. Because if so, this could be her struggle with infertility and inferiority by believing her husband is able to have children and she cannot. There's clearly mental illness involved here.

The Starsong Princess
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The why is the most important thing here. Is she projecting or become paranoid? Or has Jas or someone else hinted he is the father? Did she receive a poison pen letter from someone? A little more digging is needed before moving to divorce.

Fox with a Dragon Tattoo
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This one is weird.. they both seem childish and have some serious trust concerns. If this is real and he's really saying "by taking the test Im admitting to cheating" hes as irrational and stubborn as she is. All that talk aboit lying in bed awake lol.. these two probably fictional characters are too alike. Writing needs better balance

Gozer LeGozerian
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How's it childish to refuse a paternity test if you know you haven't cheated? So every time wifey decides he's cheated he must take a paternity test?

Load More Replies...
Tarik Dursun Zorgulen
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd say in this case you have already lost your marriage. And as for cheating? Sometimes with all the clever IT solutions, they cheat on you in front of your trusting naive nose. And then they also take away all you have too even if they have never contributed to any of it. So, my advise is, document everything for the family court and divorce her. you'd not want to live with someone who could not trust you even when you're so open with her. My current wife is the one who have opened my eyes on what is being a gentlemen vs what is being used and tossed. Trust, communication, love these are all two way streets apparently.

tori Ohno
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He legally can't have a paternity test done, not without the mother's consent. Is she lying to his wife and saying he's the father?

JayWantsACat
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Like many others said, I'd agree to take the test but when it comes back negative she's signing the divorce papers. I agree that I wouldn't take the test but him arguing so much about his "integrity" is weird and makes this seem fake. Personally, my "integrity" would be one of the last things I'd care about, with the trust my wife and I had being first and foremore. I'd feel betrayed more than I;'d feel like my iNteGRiTy was at stake.

Bryn
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

no real updates about the situation, just repeated copy & pastes ):

kath morgan
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe she’s just done with him and looking for a way out… my policy on this is that he can have a test but only if he also has a divorce. The trust is gone, time to pack it in.

سارا ناز
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

she is most likely having the affair with Jas...this is some convoluted way to get you to leave the relationship is my sad guess. End the relationship, as hard as it will be for however long you need to heal, being with someone that doesn't take your feelings or actions into account isn't a safe loving relationship. Good luck

C.O. Shea
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Plot twist. She's in a lesbian relationship with Jas... and this is their bizarre plot to have you fund their love child. Did your wife steal your sperm in a used condom?

Patricia Grande
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think the wife listened to some dumb social media influencer who does these tik tok trends. The other reason could be Jas told her that OP was the father.

Peter Smith
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

From an always try and restore the marriage frame of mind. I would advise taking the test to reassure the wife and then presenting the results with a suggestion of couples therapy to understand why she thought he would cheat and to resolve the apparent insecurities.

Khall Khall
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wife has a burner phone. Almost guaranteed. She keeps it at work or the gym. Somewhere he can't/doesn't go. She's cheating. Or he has a history of cheating and she's legit afraid he did it again. Otherwise...wife is a psycho who is trying to tank this marriage. Which still means there's a reason she's doing that.

Rebecca Joan
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She’s looking for a way out of the marriage. Or she’s cheating on him.

Craig Reynolds
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

WHAT??? The one commenter who said he'd be concerned Op's wife somehow stole his sperm and gave it to her friend. How would that even work?

Giraffy Window
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hate that everyone is saying "take the test and give her divorce papers" How long has OP's wife known Jas? If she's known Jas years longer than she's known OP, then Jas has some SERIOUS pull with what she can tell OP's wife and have her trust that Jas is telling the truth. I think Op is asking the wrong questions. I think he needs to ask his wife is Jas is saying he and she had intimacy If he serves divorce papers, it's because Jas wanted this relationship to fail for some reason.

Dave Hinckley
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Get the divorce, then do the test and have the results entered in the divorce filing. Or, get the test, then include the results in the reasons for divorce.

DC
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Leave. Tell her where to stick it and leave her. Or kick her out, depends on who owns your current home. Better be you - kicking out is less exhausting than being kicked out.

Julia Cargile
Community Member
3 weeks ago

This comment has been deleted.

Kat
Community Member
3 weeks ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

I think HE is cheating. And wrote that for her to "find"

Hphizzle
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She already has one foot out of the marriage. Take the dna test and present the results with divorce papers.

R Dennis
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's the same thing I would tell a wife if her husband demanded a paternity test... trust broken.

Load More Replies...
FreeTheUnicorn
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even with DNA proof the child isn't yours, that doesn't prove you didn't cheat. You can't prove a negative, and now that it's clear your wife thinks you would/have cheated, it's only going to escalate. She will see signs of cheating in other situations. The trust is gone, and you should end things. The relationship is heading that way and dragging it out will only be more painful.

moggie63
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Of course OP is the father, it's obvious, both he and the baby have a nose.

Bowtechie
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm with the commenters asking about Jas, and a part of me wonders if she's the one to actually put this idea in the wife's head. Maybe she has a secret thing for OP and is trying manipulate the situation? Idk. If she did, she's a sick, sick person and certainly not a friend, but if she didn't what reason would OP's wife have to think she'd consent to this cocamamy idea anyway?

Jane Jayne Jain Jeign Jein
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The thing I find really wild is this idea of open phone policy to check on each other, ring cameras to check on visitors, tracking apps to check location. None of that is what trust looks like. I trust my partner unconditionally, and don't need any of this paranoia-inducing, spy-normalising technology to do so. (I have him on a map tracker in case he gets into trouble while walking in the hills). But also, if he asked me for a paternity test it would be game over.

Bookworm
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I didn't get the sense that the cameras and the Google location were specifically for tracking each other. Lots of people have Ring cameras just to watch the front door, and Google tracks everywhere your phone goes unless you specifically turn your location off. They probably weren't using the tech to spy on each other, until OP had a reason to go looking for proof that his wife might be cheating.

Load More Replies...
DrBronxx
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

His wife wants out, and is trying to make him the villain so she can feel better about herself when they get divorced.

Scott Rackley
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dude needs to realize there is no winning scenario, test or no test.

Nina
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What a weird way to tell him she wants out of the marriage.

Holly Fraser
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It sounds a bit like the wife is having some sort of mental breakdown and paranoia attack to accuse with nothing else going on

Schmebulock
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There is so much left out here. Why does the wife think he cheated and what did her friend say.

Karina
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I find it Odd that he dosnt adress Jan and her thoughts and opinions on this at all.

Jason K
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd like to know if they've been trying to have kids and can't. Because if so, this could be her struggle with infertility and inferiority by believing her husband is able to have children and she cannot. There's clearly mental illness involved here.

The Starsong Princess
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The why is the most important thing here. Is she projecting or become paranoid? Or has Jas or someone else hinted he is the father? Did she receive a poison pen letter from someone? A little more digging is needed before moving to divorce.

Fox with a Dragon Tattoo
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This one is weird.. they both seem childish and have some serious trust concerns. If this is real and he's really saying "by taking the test Im admitting to cheating" hes as irrational and stubborn as she is. All that talk aboit lying in bed awake lol.. these two probably fictional characters are too alike. Writing needs better balance

Gozer LeGozerian
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How's it childish to refuse a paternity test if you know you haven't cheated? So every time wifey decides he's cheated he must take a paternity test?

Load More Replies...
Tarik Dursun Zorgulen
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd say in this case you have already lost your marriage. And as for cheating? Sometimes with all the clever IT solutions, they cheat on you in front of your trusting naive nose. And then they also take away all you have too even if they have never contributed to any of it. So, my advise is, document everything for the family court and divorce her. you'd not want to live with someone who could not trust you even when you're so open with her. My current wife is the one who have opened my eyes on what is being a gentlemen vs what is being used and tossed. Trust, communication, love these are all two way streets apparently.

tori Ohno
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He legally can't have a paternity test done, not without the mother's consent. Is she lying to his wife and saying he's the father?

JayWantsACat
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Like many others said, I'd agree to take the test but when it comes back negative she's signing the divorce papers. I agree that I wouldn't take the test but him arguing so much about his "integrity" is weird and makes this seem fake. Personally, my "integrity" would be one of the last things I'd care about, with the trust my wife and I had being first and foremore. I'd feel betrayed more than I;'d feel like my iNteGRiTy was at stake.

Bryn
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

no real updates about the situation, just repeated copy & pastes ):

kath morgan
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe she’s just done with him and looking for a way out… my policy on this is that he can have a test but only if he also has a divorce. The trust is gone, time to pack it in.

سارا ناز
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

she is most likely having the affair with Jas...this is some convoluted way to get you to leave the relationship is my sad guess. End the relationship, as hard as it will be for however long you need to heal, being with someone that doesn't take your feelings or actions into account isn't a safe loving relationship. Good luck

C.O. Shea
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Plot twist. She's in a lesbian relationship with Jas... and this is their bizarre plot to have you fund their love child. Did your wife steal your sperm in a used condom?

Patricia Grande
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think the wife listened to some dumb social media influencer who does these tik tok trends. The other reason could be Jas told her that OP was the father.

Peter Smith
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

From an always try and restore the marriage frame of mind. I would advise taking the test to reassure the wife and then presenting the results with a suggestion of couples therapy to understand why she thought he would cheat and to resolve the apparent insecurities.

Khall Khall
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wife has a burner phone. Almost guaranteed. She keeps it at work or the gym. Somewhere he can't/doesn't go. She's cheating. Or he has a history of cheating and she's legit afraid he did it again. Otherwise...wife is a psycho who is trying to tank this marriage. Which still means there's a reason she's doing that.

Rebecca Joan
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She’s looking for a way out of the marriage. Or she’s cheating on him.

Craig Reynolds
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

WHAT??? The one commenter who said he'd be concerned Op's wife somehow stole his sperm and gave it to her friend. How would that even work?

Giraffy Window
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hate that everyone is saying "take the test and give her divorce papers" How long has OP's wife known Jas? If she's known Jas years longer than she's known OP, then Jas has some SERIOUS pull with what she can tell OP's wife and have her trust that Jas is telling the truth. I think Op is asking the wrong questions. I think he needs to ask his wife is Jas is saying he and she had intimacy If he serves divorce papers, it's because Jas wanted this relationship to fail for some reason.

Dave Hinckley
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Get the divorce, then do the test and have the results entered in the divorce filing. Or, get the test, then include the results in the reasons for divorce.

DC
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Leave. Tell her where to stick it and leave her. Or kick her out, depends on who owns your current home. Better be you - kicking out is less exhausting than being kicked out.

Julia Cargile
Community Member
3 weeks ago

This comment has been deleted.

Kat
Community Member
3 weeks ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

I think HE is cheating. And wrote that for her to "find"

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