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Man Loses It When Wife Asks Him To Do A Paternity Test For His Sister’s Kid, Regrets His Reaction
Sometimes, your imagination can be very cruel because it comes up with various unlikely scenarios about your loved ones. Your insecurities and irrational fears can work against you so strongly that you push away the people nearest and dearest to you. The result? Tension. Frustration. Resentment. And damaged relationships.
One anonymous man turned to the AITAH online community for advice regarding an incredibly sensitive situation in his family. He opened up that he spends a lot of time with his nephew, who looks like him, which made his wife suspect that he might possibly be his father. Now, she’s demanding that he do a paternity test for his nephew.
Read on for the full story, as well as an important update that the OP shared. Bored Panda has reached out to the author for further comment, and we’ll update the article once we hear back from him.
Having positive relationships with your relatives and spending lots of quality time with them probably sounds healthy to most people
Image credits: LightFieldStudios / envatoelements (not the actual photo)
However, one woman was suspicious of her husband having a strong bond with his nephew. She demanded that he get a paternity test for him
Image credits: msvyatkovska / envatoelements (not the actual photo)
Image credits: PotentialTwos
Being overly paranoid about something can significantly reduce your quality of life
Image credits: nd3000 / envatoelements (not the actual photo)
Psych Central defines irrational fears as fears that are out of proportion with the situation that presents itself. Irrational fears occur when there’s no danger and there are no threats around. It’s an over-the-top reaction to a mundane, everyday situation. This fear can be so incredibly intense that the individual might go into their fight, flight, freeze, or fawn response.
Take, for example, flying. It’s natural to feel scared if the plane gets thrown about by a bit of turbulence. We’ve all been there! However, an irrationally terrified individual would be so scared of the plane crashing that they don’t even fly anywhere.
Though this keeps them ‘safe’ (from their perspective), they sacrifice their quality of life. For instance, now their options are extremely limited when going on holiday or having to travel for work.
Similarly, it’s normal to feel a bit nervous about going on a date with someone. Nobody enjoys feeling awkward, embarrassed, or like they’re wasting their time. Meanwhile, someone who is irrationally afraid might be so focused on the small possibility that they might be humiliated on their date that they avoid dating at all. The result? Loneliness, isolation, and a withering social life.
Having irrational fears may indicate that the person suffers from an anxiety disorder
Image credits: halfpoint / envatoelements (not the actual photo)
To adapt this framework to the viral story author’s situation, his wife may potentially have an irrational fear that he’s his nephew’s father. She appears to perceive his close bond with him as one of father-and-son, not uncle-and-nephew. Her response is, therefore, disproportionally large.
Irrational fears can be an indication that someone suffers from an anxiety disorder, for example, generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety disorder, panic disorder, or any number of phobias.
Anxiety is very common and involves feeling tense, fatigued, irritable, and unable to focus. 31% of adults are estimated to experience anxiety at some time in their lives.
Tackling irrational fears won’t happen overnight. It’ll require a lot of dedicated time and effort. If you have the time and means to do so, it may be very much worth seeing a specialist who specializes in areas like treating anxiety.
Meanwhile, some lifestyle changes can help you manage your stress better. For example, eating healthier, moving more, and avoiding caffeine, sugar, and processed foods is going to make you more resilient physically and mentally. Some other things that help a ton include getting some proper sleep, having an active social life, and spending time in nature, away from screens.
The husband found himself in the middle of an emotionally messy situation which had to be tackled delicately
Image credits: nd3000 /envatolelements (not the actual photo)
The man initially posted his story on AITAH because he’d snapped at his wife for even suggesting that he had been unfaithful and fathered his sister’s child.
The frustrated husband’s story made a huge splash on the internet. At the time of writing, his initial post garnered 14k upvotes and 6k comments. Meanwhile, an update that he shared a bit later after trying to solve the entire messy situation got 11k upvotes and 3.3k comments.
Clearly, the man’s story resonated with a lot of people all around the globe. Many readers wanted to help the OP out, so they shared some tips, including what they’d personally do. For some internet users, the entire situation was a big, bright red flag that the marriage isn’t healthy.
You would think that having a close bond with your family would be seen as a positive thing by your partner. It’s natural to want your significant other to get along with your relatives if you’re on good terms with them.
However, if they don’t see eye to eye, it can create a ton of pressure in your life. Now, you’re essentially forced to choose between different people you care about. Or you’re left to look for some sort of compromise where everyone is cordial with each other, even if they’re not the best of friends.
How would you have handled the entire situation, dear Pandas? What advice would you give the author if you could sit down and talk to him face to face? Do you think there’s any chance that the wife will be able to have a healthy relationship with her sister-in-law and her kid after her meltdown? Let us know what you think in the comments.
Many internet users were shocked by what they read. Here’s the advice they gave the man
A few people thought the situation was more nuanced and called out the author
The husband shared an update after he started looking for a compromise and enforcing some healthy boundaries
Image credits: Zinkevych_D / envatoelements (not the actual photo)
Image credits: PotentialTwos
Here’s what some readers had to say after they read the continuation of the story
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Do you believe it's justified for the husband to be offended by his wife's accusation?
P.L. Packer 1 month ago
I agree, only for all of them. The wife, OP and his sister.
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Rae Black 1 month ago
Getting more information from the updates I can see where the wife might have issue. She's already talked to him "over the years" about how much time he spends over at his sister's place. And then he wants to not have her complain anymore about it AND wants to go on vacation without his wife. Now I'm gettjng creeper out.
lenka 1 month ago
Yeah, I find that a little odd too. Why would he even want to go on holidays with his sister and not his wife? It sounds like he may have been prioritizing his relationship with his sister at the expense of the wife for a very long time. While this would not lead me conclude incest, I am curious about the other side of it, because I wonder if some of this behavior has fed into whatever conclusions she has reached (reasonable or not). The sister clearly has had a role to play in creating this dynamic. I wonder what their relationship is like? I also think his initial rage response is odd. While anger would be a natural part of the shock, to declare that marrying her was biggest mistake of his life is huge. If my husband ever said that to me I would consider the marriage over regardless of the circumstances.
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lenka 1 month ago
This post raises so many questions and an equal number of red flags. Why are they childfree? Was it a choice? Not by choice? Why did the wife start to get paranoid. Her accusations are crazy but where did they come from? The kid is 13. When did this paranoia start? Does she want kids? Is it jealousy over the kid or is it something to do with the amount of time her husband spends prioritizing his sister and nephew over her? Clearly the wife needs some therapy (and perhaps some relationship therapy) but I think there is more to this story.
FreeTheUnicorn 1 month ago
Childfree is usually used to indicate by choice, where don't have children is neutral and childless is derogatory.
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R Dennis 1 month ago
What a bunch of weird-a*s people... Other than the 13 year old, they all suck. The wife for thinking her husband had an incestuous relationship, the husband for going off on his wife, the sister for now trying to drive a wedge between the couple. What in the Targaryen is wrong with all of them!
Surly Scot 1 month ago
My ex-husband was inappropriately close with his aunt who was only 10yrs older than him. I mean when we were in the car and they were both in the front seat she would have her hand on his knee the whole time. If she was trying on a new dress she'd walk in the room and flash him her breasts and laugh. He followed her like a puppy, her opinion mattered more than me, his wife. She'd be abusive towards me and he'd do nothing. Her 1st kid looked exactly like the kids father, spitting image, her 2nd kid looked nothing like her or the father, and the kid was born with a fused skull, had to have an operation to break it into the 3 separate plates its supposed to be at that age, this can be a sign of inbreeding. Too many red flags, one day I asked him if the 2nd kid was his kid. He looked down, wouldn't answer and walked out the room. A month later he packed a bag and abandoned me to move to where the aunt lives. I divorced him and found out the kid WAS his kid from a family friend.
Surly Scot 1 month ago
Just because something seems crazy like people willingly sleeping with their own family members and breeding with them, doesn't mean it doesn't happen, and calling the woman crazy for it isn't fair. If her instincts feel red flags, it's probably for a reason. Especially if your spouse is from Alabama, the capital of inbreeding (yes, ex-husband was from Alabama. I learned stereotypes exist for a reason).
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Hphizzle 1 month ago
I’m more weirded out by the conditions of the dna test. “You don’t trust me around my sister, so now I’m asking for more time alone around them without you present.” I’m starting to see why she might be suspicious of her husband. I’m not saying he did what she thinks he did, but his reactions seem really off to me.
Justin Smith 1 month ago
The sil doesn't want her around anymore. This woman is took something sweet the husband did (stepping in to be a paternal figure to his nephew) and turn it into some sort of creepy story. Shes lucky to still be married.
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Lyoness 1 month ago
The wife needs help for sure, but I find 2 other things strange: 1. That therapy wasn't a condition of getting the paternity test and 2. How is OP going on vacation with his sister going to help his relationship with his wife? She's already insecure enough to make a crazy demand, how will vacations without her make this better? That last condition makes me wonder if wifey might have a reason to be suspicious.
lenka 1 month ago
As bizarre as it sounds. I think I agree. His behavior prioritizing his sister, his rage and declaration that marrying her was the worst decision of his life, that the brother wants to go play happy family vacation with his sister and the sister feeding the wife's insecurities. It just doesn't pass the smell test.
Load More Replies... KatSaidWhat 1 month ago
I'm wondering about the paternity test because they will have DNA in common anyway - how do you get around that? Surely it would make more sense for the actual father to do the paternity test? Obviously I'm not clued up on this but there will definitely be shared DNA
Kkg 1 month ago
Common DNA is not a paternity. There are different percentages of common DNA if you are an uncle and different if you're a father. The same way genetic tests won't prove that a grandparent is in fact a father.
Load More Replies... nm (he/him) 1 month ago (edited)
If it was me, I would give her the results of paternity test, along with the papers for divorce. I don't want as spouse a person that doesn't trust me.
Trillian 1 month ago
If my partner insinuated I had a child with my sibling and asked for proof (difficult this way round since I am a woman, but still) I would tell them to get lost. Like, wtf? Of course there can be a resemblance, the kid is related to him after all.
marcelo D. 1 month ago
You are doing it wrong then. Leaving them for their insane accusation would be , for someone that is that crazy, proof that they are right and they would spread their insanity to everyone that listens. You go, get the test, and present it to them, in the same package that have the divorce papers.
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Schmebulock 1 month ago
If true that is batshit crazy! I agree with everyone saying the wife needs therapy.
Deborah B 1 month ago
Therapy both couples and individual therapy, for both of them. Her, for the obvious reasons. Him, because the decision to spend more time with his sister, and go on holidays with her, without his wife, makes me wonder if there's an unhealthy dynamic that the wife is picking up on. Emotional incest, (like an emotional affair), is a possibility here. If he's giving emotional intimacy to his sister instead of his wife, then yes the paranoid wife has grounds for concern about her marriage.
TribbleThinking 1 month ago (edited)
You married a moron. It's your sister, not your wife's sister.
Monica G 1 month ago
A sister he wants to go on vacations with, but without his wife...
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Amanda Lyles 1 month ago
Am I the only one who caught the insinuation from her about the kids autism being because it would be incest?
Lu Bielefeld 1 month ago
I'm suspicious that we're not accessing all the facts. It seems strange to me this relationship that excludes the wife and forms a family nucleus with his sister and nephew. Her paranoia is not unjustifiable, it must have a strong root that has been growing. Creeps me out.
dandylilah 1 month ago
Yea, its irrational to think a brother and sister can have a child together....cause that's never happened before.
Scott Rackley 1 month ago
Dude is an idiot. If she thinks you are capable of banging and impregnating your own sister, she thinks you are capable of anything. Zero trust. For gods sake leave.
Orysha 1 month ago
This one is fake or so I hope. I don't know any man stupid enough to do that. Your wife is accusing you of incest and your reaction is agreeing to take a dna test? The only sane reaction would have been to file for divorce as soon as she finished her sentence (my reaction would have been much more violent). She'll just say the dna test was corrupt or rigged or any paranoid non-sense whicjh comes to her mind.
marcelo D. 1 month ago
If you divorce her without the test, she will say (to every single human being) how you left her cause she found you out about your incest
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Kristal 1 month ago
You know, I think he should have sat down with her and asked WHY she is suddenly having these insecurities. Acknowledge her feelings instead of brushing them off and calling her crazy. Incest does happen, it's not unfathomable. There may be things he's not sharing that gives her a reason to suspect. I agree, it sounds far fetched but after his update going on vacations alone with sis and nephew, well, it gives me pause. I think there's more to it than he's telling us and his reaction is YTAH, saying an amazingly hurtful thing cause he's angry and not listening to why she's having this reaction. I hope all works out but I think his reaction is bordering overreacting.
Lisa T 1 month ago
If it was me in this situation, I’d make my wife pay for the paternity tests, and then tell her she needs therapy. But if it was also me, I’d get the tests because I had nothing to hide. Cousins often have resemblances to each other because that’s how genetics work. Just like siblings can look very similar or very different, nieces and nephews can look more like their aunts and uncles than parents. There’s red flags in the story, though, or not enough context at least in regards to always being at his sisters and going away with her without his wife.
Valdemar 1 month ago
This isn't an ordinary case of family genetics when you have family members noticing how strongly a child resembles an uncle. There instances where this legitimately does happen but those are rare and incest us much more commonplace than was originally thought thanks to studies on DNA testing that became popular. There's multiple studies that have shown higher numbers and an ongoing increase in the number of cases showing up in the legal system and social services so the wife has legitimate reasons for the concern and the list of conditions is suggestive of an ongoing incestuous relationship in some ways.
Not-a-Clue (she/her) 1 month ago
My husband's 24-yr-old nephew is the image of him. SIL chose to have a baby in her own and his dad has never been in the picture. It's honestly never occurred to me that my husband might be his dad! There are shared genes for a good reason. My husband's parents are this lad's grandparents.
Jeremy Bolanos 1 month ago
I would have called her parents up and told her to come pickup her psycho daughter. Why do you love this person? That's freaking insane.
FreeTheUnicorn 1 month ago
Once your spouse thinks you're capable of cheating, there's no going back. Yes, this instance can be disproven, but the paranoia is just going to find a new focus. You're better off single than with someone who doesn't trust you and would think you lied for more than a decade.
The Starsong Princess 1 month ago (edited)
If I were your wife, I would never have agreed to the conditions. You say you are childfree but you are not. You are this child’s father, not biologically but spending a lot of time with the kid and taking vacations with them without your wife? That’s not childfree. That’s not what your wife signed up for and I think she’s upset about that and the issue is manifesting itself through wanting the paternity test. Does she want a child and you are against it, while still being a father to your sister’s son? Does she want a childfree life? Does she want to spend time and vacations with her own husband? Get to marriage counselling.
Julia Cargile 1 month ago
My neice looks just like me but I've never been accussed of being her mother. Your wife is a nut case.
Tereza Cervenakova 1 day ago
I was with the husband, but the update feels.... Icky...i don't know... I understand helping your sibling who is single parent. I understand close family relationships, but... Going on a vacation with his sister but without his wife? That's weird... If He wanted spent more time with his nephew, the obvious action Is to take the kid and wife for a holiday, and let the sister get a break at home... That's what i would do if i wanted sto spent Holiday with my niece/nephew....
Rebecca Joan 3 weeks ago
Not the a*****e, but your wife needs to get some serious mental help. She thinks you f****d your sister or donated your sperm like you would risk having a child with birth defects? If your wife is a normal woman and you don’t really have any other relationship problems then She just needs some serious mental help.
Anita Rosales 4 weeks ago
Yes very justified. My cousin can be his maternal uncle's doppelganger, it's called genes
Ephemera Image 1 month ago (edited)
I would be out the door. They all sound weird to be honest.
Lily 1 month ago
Wife is batshit crazy. Of course they may look alike, they are genetically related. After an accusation like that I could not fully trust the spouse. That's a horrific attitude to take. Frankly, there's two things that are big red flags - there's more problems in that marriage if she could even think that for one, and two, that he blasted her with a "biggest mistake of my life," exclamation, and that came out too easily. There's trouble there and it's not going to get fixed with a paternity test, trust was lost.
Leoninus Fate 1 month ago
i dont care if it was my soul mate... at that point the love is ruined, if they think that there going to rethink EVERYTHING I would leave them
besterdaleen 1 month ago
I look EXACTLY like my godmother (mom's oldest sister). So much so that, when I was younger and uneducated, I thought my parents adopted me from them. Then I went to school. Then I leaned to read. Then my support system encouraged me to use my brain. Then I had biology in school. Then I used the library at uni (studying law, btw, not science or genetics or biology) to educate myself, then I leaned more about genetics, then came the internet, then came COVID. I'm now 53. Somewhere, sometime, somehow, the concept of genetics came up and stuck around in my grey matter in a hidden cranny. Your wife should try it, reading really opens your mind. For you, OP, she may be the love of your life, it sure does not appear that you are hers. Sheesh....
Sinners1978 1 month ago
Um, incest exists so the wife's accusations aren't unheard of. Also OP really is the AH here. The things he said the first time about marrying his wife was a big mistake and then conditions 2 and 3 to take the paternity test is just cruel. I honestly feel the wife is feeling left out and getting no attention from the husband so she is gonna say and do paranoid things. It doesn't sound like OP really likes his wife and either they need marriage counseling or a divorce cause it sounds like OP would rather spend his free time with his sister and nephew instead of his wife.
Christopher Crockett 1 month ago
If marriage counseling doesn't work, divorce the wife and bang the sister.
P.L. Packer 1 month ago
I agree, only for all of them. The wife, OP and his sister.
Load More Replies... Rae Black 1 month ago
Getting more information from the updates I can see where the wife might have issue. She's already talked to him "over the years" about how much time he spends over at his sister's place. And then he wants to not have her complain anymore about it AND wants to go on vacation without his wife. Now I'm gettjng creeper out.
lenka 1 month ago
Yeah, I find that a little odd too. Why would he even want to go on holidays with his sister and not his wife? It sounds like he may have been prioritizing his relationship with his sister at the expense of the wife for a very long time. While this would not lead me conclude incest, I am curious about the other side of it, because I wonder if some of this behavior has fed into whatever conclusions she has reached (reasonable or not). The sister clearly has had a role to play in creating this dynamic. I wonder what their relationship is like? I also think his initial rage response is odd. While anger would be a natural part of the shock, to declare that marrying her was biggest mistake of his life is huge. If my husband ever said that to me I would consider the marriage over regardless of the circumstances.
Load More Replies... lenka 1 month ago
This post raises so many questions and an equal number of red flags. Why are they childfree? Was it a choice? Not by choice? Why did the wife start to get paranoid. Her accusations are crazy but where did they come from? The kid is 13. When did this paranoia start? Does she want kids? Is it jealousy over the kid or is it something to do with the amount of time her husband spends prioritizing his sister and nephew over her? Clearly the wife needs some therapy (and perhaps some relationship therapy) but I think there is more to this story.
FreeTheUnicorn 1 month ago
Childfree is usually used to indicate by choice, where don't have children is neutral and childless is derogatory.
Load More Replies... R Dennis 1 month ago
What a bunch of weird-a*s people... Other than the 13 year old, they all suck. The wife for thinking her husband had an incestuous relationship, the husband for going off on his wife, the sister for now trying to drive a wedge between the couple. What in the Targaryen is wrong with all of them!
Surly Scot 1 month ago
My ex-husband was inappropriately close with his aunt who was only 10yrs older than him. I mean when we were in the car and they were both in the front seat she would have her hand on his knee the whole time. If she was trying on a new dress she'd walk in the room and flash him her breasts and laugh. He followed her like a puppy, her opinion mattered more than me, his wife. She'd be abusive towards me and he'd do nothing. Her 1st kid looked exactly like the kids father, spitting image, her 2nd kid looked nothing like her or the father, and the kid was born with a fused skull, had to have an operation to break it into the 3 separate plates its supposed to be at that age, this can be a sign of inbreeding. Too many red flags, one day I asked him if the 2nd kid was his kid. He looked down, wouldn't answer and walked out the room. A month later he packed a bag and abandoned me to move to where the aunt lives. I divorced him and found out the kid WAS his kid from a family friend.
Surly Scot 1 month ago
Just because something seems crazy like people willingly sleeping with their own family members and breeding with them, doesn't mean it doesn't happen, and calling the woman crazy for it isn't fair. If her instincts feel red flags, it's probably for a reason. Especially if your spouse is from Alabama, the capital of inbreeding (yes, ex-husband was from Alabama. I learned stereotypes exist for a reason).
Load More Replies... Hphizzle 1 month ago
I’m more weirded out by the conditions of the dna test. “You don’t trust me around my sister, so now I’m asking for more time alone around them without you present.” I’m starting to see why she might be suspicious of her husband. I’m not saying he did what she thinks he did, but his reactions seem really off to me.
Justin Smith 1 month ago
The sil doesn't want her around anymore. This woman is took something sweet the husband did (stepping in to be a paternal figure to his nephew) and turn it into some sort of creepy story. Shes lucky to still be married.
Load More Replies... Lyoness 1 month ago
The wife needs help for sure, but I find 2 other things strange: 1. That therapy wasn't a condition of getting the paternity test and 2. How is OP going on vacation with his sister going to help his relationship with his wife? She's already insecure enough to make a crazy demand, how will vacations without her make this better? That last condition makes me wonder if wifey might have a reason to be suspicious.
lenka 1 month ago
As bizarre as it sounds. I think I agree. His behavior prioritizing his sister, his rage and declaration that marrying her was the worst decision of his life, that the brother wants to go play happy family vacation with his sister and the sister feeding the wife's insecurities. It just doesn't pass the smell test.
Load More Replies... KatSaidWhat 1 month ago
I'm wondering about the paternity test because they will have DNA in common anyway - how do you get around that? Surely it would make more sense for the actual father to do the paternity test? Obviously I'm not clued up on this but there will definitely be shared DNA
Kkg 1 month ago
Common DNA is not a paternity. There are different percentages of common DNA if you are an uncle and different if you're a father. The same way genetic tests won't prove that a grandparent is in fact a father.
Load More Replies... nm (he/him) 1 month ago (edited)
If it was me, I would give her the results of paternity test, along with the papers for divorce. I don't want as spouse a person that doesn't trust me.
Trillian 1 month ago
If my partner insinuated I had a child with my sibling and asked for proof (difficult this way round since I am a woman, but still) I would tell them to get lost. Like, wtf? Of course there can be a resemblance, the kid is related to him after all.
marcelo D. 1 month ago
You are doing it wrong then. Leaving them for their insane accusation would be , for someone that is that crazy, proof that they are right and they would spread their insanity to everyone that listens. You go, get the test, and present it to them, in the same package that have the divorce papers.
Load More Replies... Schmebulock 1 month ago
If true that is batshit crazy! I agree with everyone saying the wife needs therapy.
Deborah B 1 month ago
Therapy both couples and individual therapy, for both of them. Her, for the obvious reasons. Him, because the decision to spend more time with his sister, and go on holidays with her, without his wife, makes me wonder if there's an unhealthy dynamic that the wife is picking up on. Emotional incest, (like an emotional affair), is a possibility here. If he's giving emotional intimacy to his sister instead of his wife, then yes the paranoid wife has grounds for concern about her marriage.
TribbleThinking 1 month ago (edited)
You married a moron. It's your sister, not your wife's sister.
Monica G 1 month ago
A sister he wants to go on vacations with, but without his wife...
Load More Replies... Amanda Lyles 1 month ago
Am I the only one who caught the insinuation from her about the kids autism being because it would be incest?
Lu Bielefeld 1 month ago
I'm suspicious that we're not accessing all the facts. It seems strange to me this relationship that excludes the wife and forms a family nucleus with his sister and nephew. Her paranoia is not unjustifiable, it must have a strong root that has been growing. Creeps me out.
dandylilah 1 month ago
Yea, its irrational to think a brother and sister can have a child together....cause that's never happened before.
Scott Rackley 1 month ago
Dude is an idiot. If she thinks you are capable of banging and impregnating your own sister, she thinks you are capable of anything. Zero trust. For gods sake leave.
Orysha 1 month ago
This one is fake or so I hope. I don't know any man stupid enough to do that. Your wife is accusing you of incest and your reaction is agreeing to take a dna test? The only sane reaction would have been to file for divorce as soon as she finished her sentence (my reaction would have been much more violent). She'll just say the dna test was corrupt or rigged or any paranoid non-sense whicjh comes to her mind.
marcelo D. 1 month ago
If you divorce her without the test, she will say (to every single human being) how you left her cause she found you out about your incest
Load More Replies... Kristal 1 month ago
You know, I think he should have sat down with her and asked WHY she is suddenly having these insecurities. Acknowledge her feelings instead of brushing them off and calling her crazy. Incest does happen, it's not unfathomable. There may be things he's not sharing that gives her a reason to suspect. I agree, it sounds far fetched but after his update going on vacations alone with sis and nephew, well, it gives me pause. I think there's more to it than he's telling us and his reaction is YTAH, saying an amazingly hurtful thing cause he's angry and not listening to why she's having this reaction. I hope all works out but I think his reaction is bordering overreacting.
Lisa T 1 month ago
If it was me in this situation, I’d make my wife pay for the paternity tests, and then tell her she needs therapy. But if it was also me, I’d get the tests because I had nothing to hide. Cousins often have resemblances to each other because that’s how genetics work. Just like siblings can look very similar or very different, nieces and nephews can look more like their aunts and uncles than parents. There’s red flags in the story, though, or not enough context at least in regards to always being at his sisters and going away with her without his wife.
Valdemar 1 month ago
This isn't an ordinary case of family genetics when you have family members noticing how strongly a child resembles an uncle. There instances where this legitimately does happen but those are rare and incest us much more commonplace than was originally thought thanks to studies on DNA testing that became popular. There's multiple studies that have shown higher numbers and an ongoing increase in the number of cases showing up in the legal system and social services so the wife has legitimate reasons for the concern and the list of conditions is suggestive of an ongoing incestuous relationship in some ways.
Not-a-Clue (she/her) 1 month ago
My husband's 24-yr-old nephew is the image of him. SIL chose to have a baby in her own and his dad has never been in the picture. It's honestly never occurred to me that my husband might be his dad! There are shared genes for a good reason. My husband's parents are this lad's grandparents.
Jeremy Bolanos 1 month ago
I would have called her parents up and told her to come pickup her psycho daughter. Why do you love this person? That's freaking insane.
FreeTheUnicorn 1 month ago
Once your spouse thinks you're capable of cheating, there's no going back. Yes, this instance can be disproven, but the paranoia is just going to find a new focus. You're better off single than with someone who doesn't trust you and would think you lied for more than a decade.
The Starsong Princess 1 month ago (edited)
If I were your wife, I would never have agreed to the conditions. You say you are childfree but you are not. You are this child’s father, not biologically but spending a lot of time with the kid and taking vacations with them without your wife? That’s not childfree. That’s not what your wife signed up for and I think she’s upset about that and the issue is manifesting itself through wanting the paternity test. Does she want a child and you are against it, while still being a father to your sister’s son? Does she want a childfree life? Does she want to spend time and vacations with her own husband? Get to marriage counselling.
Julia Cargile 1 month ago
My neice looks just like me but I've never been accussed of being her mother. Your wife is a nut case.
Tereza Cervenakova 1 day ago
I was with the husband, but the update feels.... Icky...i don't know... I understand helping your sibling who is single parent. I understand close family relationships, but... Going on a vacation with his sister but without his wife? That's weird... If He wanted spent more time with his nephew, the obvious action Is to take the kid and wife for a holiday, and let the sister get a break at home... That's what i would do if i wanted sto spent Holiday with my niece/nephew....
Rebecca Joan 3 weeks ago
Not the a*****e, but your wife needs to get some serious mental help. She thinks you f****d your sister or donated your sperm like you would risk having a child with birth defects? If your wife is a normal woman and you don’t really have any other relationship problems then She just needs some serious mental help.
Anita Rosales 4 weeks ago
Yes very justified. My cousin can be his maternal uncle's doppelganger, it's called genes
Ephemera Image 1 month ago (edited)
I would be out the door. They all sound weird to be honest.
Lily 1 month ago
Wife is batshit crazy. Of course they may look alike, they are genetically related. After an accusation like that I could not fully trust the spouse. That's a horrific attitude to take. Frankly, there's two things that are big red flags - there's more problems in that marriage if she could even think that for one, and two, that he blasted her with a "biggest mistake of my life," exclamation, and that came out too easily. There's trouble there and it's not going to get fixed with a paternity test, trust was lost.
Leoninus Fate 1 month ago
i dont care if it was my soul mate... at that point the love is ruined, if they think that there going to rethink EVERYTHING I would leave them
besterdaleen 1 month ago
I look EXACTLY like my godmother (mom's oldest sister). So much so that, when I was younger and uneducated, I thought my parents adopted me from them. Then I went to school. Then I leaned to read. Then my support system encouraged me to use my brain. Then I had biology in school. Then I used the library at uni (studying law, btw, not science or genetics or biology) to educate myself, then I leaned more about genetics, then came the internet, then came COVID. I'm now 53. Somewhere, sometime, somehow, the concept of genetics came up and stuck around in my grey matter in a hidden cranny. Your wife should try it, reading really opens your mind. For you, OP, she may be the love of your life, it sure does not appear that you are hers. Sheesh....
Sinners1978 1 month ago
Um, incest exists so the wife's accusations aren't unheard of. Also OP really is the AH here. The things he said the first time about marrying his wife was a big mistake and then conditions 2 and 3 to take the paternity test is just cruel. I honestly feel the wife is feeling left out and getting no attention from the husband so she is gonna say and do paranoid things. It doesn't sound like OP really likes his wife and either they need marriage counseling or a divorce cause it sounds like OP would rather spend his free time with his sister and nephew instead of his wife.
Christopher Crockett 1 month ago
If marriage counseling doesn't work, divorce the wife and bang the sister.
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