I have "minor" disabilities and a permanent limp from a car accident and thalassemia (extremely bad anemia that could be fatal if not managed). I'm always tired and in pain. I have a full time job and I take care of my mom! No one knows because I don't tell anyone... So there. I've told you!

Even in this situation, the husband is the bad guy 🙄 "She has an eating disorder! She is depressed!!" Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. She is a lazy, manipulative leech. That much audacity could power up a perpetual motion machine.

He did try talking to her. God that is twice the money I have for a whole month.

I usually don’t read the BP bla bla but I just noticed this phrase: ‘ 45% of Americans say their households are dependent on food delivery’. What the hell? I am a millennial with poor cooking skills and haven’t ordered take out from the time I was living in Italy 6 years ago and there was a cheap pizza place that delivered 5 euro pizzas (and that was maybe once a week). This is ridiculous!

Fair. Sounds like OP is stck with a woman child.

I always hope there are no YTAs on posts like this, that should, in no way, be on them. But yeah 🙄. Huge NTA re: the OP's actions. I'm wondering if he's realised he's married to a freeloader (unless she can't reach the fridge/food cupboards, due to her disability?). I also wonder what she suffers with, & why she doesn't qualify as being disabled? But then, thinking on it, that's not my business.

I don't understand why two adults can't sit down and talk calmly about what's wrong. Or at least do an income and expenditure statement together?

Obvi, she was wrong for spending money like that. But I wanted to point out one thing: he said she doesn't work because of a "minor disability" and she "complains of discomfort & exhaustion all the time." Why did he phrase it like that - "she complains?" Does he not believe she's really uncomfortable & exhausted? Does SHE call it a "minor disability?" I ask because I have a hidden disability - you can't tell just by looking at me - & I cannot work, even though I wish I could. I have a family member who insists on saying that I "just don't want to work." It's very demoralizing not to be believed when you're in pain. I don't know for sure that's the case - we've only heard one side - but it concerns me. I'm also concerned at the abruptness of cutting off the funds. She should have an account of her own & SOME money.

🤣🤣🤣🤣 If you want to buy take out daily, then work for it. 🙄

Wayyyy too many people here really want every s****y person to have some disorder or issue, something/anything to excuse it. But this woman is, 9 chances out of 10, heck 9.99 even just lazy and entitled. I really wish people would stop trying to justify someone being awful, these days they always go out of their way to do so. Some people are just awful.

NTA at all. I got the impression that OP had spoken to her many times about it. What he did was completely justifiable. During Covid, my partner and I would order delivery more often than in the past. Once the pandemic was declared over, my partner thought he could still order delivery on a regular basis. I told him over and over that we couldn't afford it, but did nothing to change his habit. I'm the money manager of the household, so I told him that we was no longer allowed to use the joint account for delivery. If he wanted it, it had to come out of his discretionary account. Only if both of us get delivery would it go through the joint account. Guess what? The delivery orders came to a screeching halt. Thankfully, I didn't have to go as far as cutting him off, but I would have if necessary.

He's nta but I feel this could backfire on him. He definitely should have cancelled the card but maybe a bit of communication would have been beneficial if even only to cover himself.

if his description of her dramatics of lying on the floor because of 'low blood sugar' is believed then his actions were probably for the best. if she has been claiming that she can't work for a mild disability (would like to know what it is because disability is subjective) then seems she is capable of being manipulative and deceptive. the true reason for her not wanting to work - or cook for herself - needs to be sorted out. if it is just a case of laziness then he needs to consider steps beyond cutting of the financial support. sounds like there is more to this story regarding her behavior than is being shared.

Is the wife Peggy Bundy?

Nta

I really want to know what that "minor disability" is that she can't qualify for anything. And that she can't even nuke something from the freezer in the microwave. A true leech and a slob if I've ever seen one

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She can work. She just doesn't want to. Plenty of jobs provide accomadations or where the work isn't strenuous.

i do think he should have told her that she clearly can't budget appropriately, but other than than, NTA. she can microwave something. wth does she do all day...

Brother in Christ you managed to pick a real winner

It does sound like the eating disorder is already there.

My first husband was employed and had a side "job" as a DJ for parties and other businesses in the area. He made 1 1/2 times more money than I did, had a MUCH shorter commute, never shopped for groceries, washed or cleaned anything. He was always broke, but always had money for beer, cigarettes and eating out for himself and his buddies. His parents raised him that way. His parents actually had the gall to confront me over our not having a joint bank account! He went to them to beg for money since his account was locked due to overdrafts and bounced checks.We had accounts in a bank, his, and a credit union, mine. Completely separate, one could not access the other's accounts. I'd had my account since before we had even been engaged, so it was not a secret to anyone. I kept my personal account just in case something happened to him, MY account wouldn't be locked to settle his creditors. My mother had cleaned out her and my father's account the day he asked her for a divorce.

As I see it, this marriage is sung by Led Zeppelin, Communication Breakdown.

And here we go again - the YTA'ers saying the "she needs therapy". No. She needs to learn something, or needs to straighten priorities. In which way this already justifies the conclusion that her behaviour is health-related (meaning here, accessible by any medical procedure at all, which "therapy" generally is), is beyond me. Is there some comspiracy going on that makes countless people advise to go see a therapist at whatever probem they meet? To ... ramp up therapists' income, or what? There really are things that can be solved by other means than therapy, therapy, therapy. Actually, most things which lead to the advice to "seek therapy", and the things that aren't answered by a flood of therapy-enthusiasts, are all either to be solved without therapy, or are a very, very rare case where reckless spending actually is health-related, and not just an AH disposing of someone else's money. Divorce? Maybe. Don't know enough, haven't heard her side, so ... how do I know?

Why in the world are you married. Divorce now

Low blood sugar is not really disabled, it's more just you're so tired. Say that to a model. I dare you.