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Wife Accuses Husband Of ‘Starving Her’ After He Cancels Credit Card Due To $1,176 Takeout Bill
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Wife Accuses Husband Of ‘Starving Her’ After He Cancels Credit Card Due To $1,176 Takeout Bill

Interview With Expert Wife Accuses Husband Of ‘Starving Her’ After He Cancels Credit Card Due To $1,176 Takeout Bill“She Spent $1,176”: Wife's Daily Takeout Orders Push Man To His Limit, Financial Lockdown EnsuesMan Cuts Off Wife Financially After She Spends $1,176 On Takeout, She Doesn’t Take It WellMan Horrified Jobless Wife Spent Over $1K On Takeout, Blocks Her Access To Cards And AccountsWoman Can’t Stop Ordering Takeout, Husband Takes Measures To Save $1,176 A Month“She Spent $1,176”: Man Horrified By Wife’s Takeout Spending, Cuts Off Her Access To Credit CardUnemployed Wife Spends $1,176 On Takeout A Month, Husband Cuts Her Off: “We Cannot Afford This”Husband Takes Over All Joint Finances After Unemployed Wife Spends Too Much, Upsets Her“She Wouldn’t Stop Ordering”: Man Cuts Wife Off Financially After $1,176 Disappears On Food
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Food is the third-highest expense for Americans, taking up around 13% of their budget. This number can exponentially increase if a person avoids cooking and prefers eating away from home or orders meals through delivery apps. It can be easy to go overboard with the latter, as we sometimes forget that conveniently pressing a button to receive food at our doorstep can do quite the damage to one’s finances.

Recently, redditor Careful_Credit_4645 shared how his wife was guilty of doing just that. At first, she limited the food deliveries to twice a week but now it happens to be an almost daily occurrence. After seeing that she shelled out $1,176 of his earned money on takeout, he decided to take measures since they didn’t have the luxury to afford it. 

Scroll down to find the full story and a conversation with nutritionist, personal trainer, and founder of Omega Herb dressings, Andrea Smith, who kindly agreed to tell us about the impact takeout can have on our health.

Food is one of the highest expenses that can exponentially grow by ordering takeout

Image credits: Darina Belonogova/Pexels (not the actual photo)

This woman spent a whopping $1,176 on food delivery, which the husband wasn’t exactly pleased about

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Image credits: Towfiqu barbhuiya/Pexels (not the actual photo)

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Image credits:

45% of Americans say their households are dependent on food delivery

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60% of Americans admit to ordering takeout at least once a week. 31% resort to deliveries at least twice a week, while 13% eat delivered meals between two and six times a week. This averages to 54.5 food delivery orders per year. In an eduMe survey, 45% of respondents even stated that they or their households are now dependent on food delivery.

According to most recent data, on average, an American household spends $3,631 on takeout every year. Convenience seems well worth the cost, as 75% of respondents prefer to eat in the comfort of their homes and 49% enjoy not having to cook. 

“For busy professionals and mothers juggling endless to-do lists, takeout’s appeal is undeniable,” says nutritionist, personal trainer, and founder of Omega Herb dressings, Andrea Smith to Bored Panda

“It saves time, requires minimal effort, and offers a variety of meals without the hassle of grocery shopping or meal planning. The convenience and instant gratification of delivery make it an easy go-to, especially for those pressed for time or lacking confidence in the kitchen.”

“Eating takeout daily can lead to weight gain, cardiovascular issues, high blood pressure, and other health problems”

However, while delivery services have the luring convenience factor, they are not the most beneficial for our health or finances. “While some healthy takeout options exist, they’re rare. Restaurants often use low-quality oils, added sugars, and excessive salt to boost flavor while keeping costs down,” explains Smith. 

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“Eating takeout daily can lead to weight gain, cardiovascular issues, high blood pressure, and other health problems. It’s also harder to get the balanced nutrients—like fresh veggies, whole grains, and lean proteins—found in home-cooked meals.”

Doing a favor for our health and making the switch to eating more home-cooked meals doesn’t necessarily demand a lot of skill or time. “Cutting back on takeout doesn’t require Pinterest-worthy meal prep from day one,” Smith says.

“Start small with easy, quick recipes you actually enjoy eating. Prepping simple, healthy meals ahead of time can ease the transition, and keeping nutritious snacks on hand helps curb cravings. Establish a routine that fits your schedule, make weekly meal plans, and gradually shift toward home-cooked meals. Budgeting for groceries and limiting delivery app use are small steps toward healthier, more mindful eating—no perfection required,” ensures the nutritionist. 

While you’re busy cooking up a storm in the kitchen, you’re not only taking care of your health but also saving a pretty penny. According to Wellio, the average price of one serving of a home-cooked meal comes to $4.31, compared to $20.37 for eating a takeout. That’s around $16 savings a day if a person cuts down on delivery food!

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Some readers agreed with the author, as they couldn’t imagine spending this much money on takeout

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While others believed the measures he had taken were too extreme

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Austeja Zokaite

Austeja Zokaite

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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Hi, glad you swung by! My name is Austėja, and I’m a writer at Bored Panda. With a degree in English philology, I’m interested in all aspects of language. Being fresh out of university, my mission is to master the art of writing and add my unique touch to every personal story and uplifting article we publish. In my time here, I’ve covered some fun topics such as scrungy cats and pareidolia, as well as more serious ones about mental health and relationship hiccups. When I’m not on my laptop, you’ll probably find me devouring pastries, especially croissants, paired with a soothing cup of tea. Sunsets, the sea, and swimming are some of my favorite things.

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Austeja Zokaite

Austeja Zokaite

Writer, BoredPanda staff

Hi, glad you swung by! My name is Austėja, and I’m a writer at Bored Panda. With a degree in English philology, I’m interested in all aspects of language. Being fresh out of university, my mission is to master the art of writing and add my unique touch to every personal story and uplifting article we publish. In my time here, I’ve covered some fun topics such as scrungy cats and pareidolia, as well as more serious ones about mental health and relationship hiccups. When I’m not on my laptop, you’ll probably find me devouring pastries, especially croissants, paired with a soothing cup of tea. Sunsets, the sea, and swimming are some of my favorite things.

Jonas Zvilius

Jonas Zvilius

Author, BoredPanda staff

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This lazy panda forgot to write something about itself.

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Jonas Zvilius

Jonas Zvilius

Author, BoredPanda staff

This lazy panda forgot to write something about itself.

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Adam Benson
Community Member
1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For those people saying YTA: If the roles were reversed and it was the unemployed husband wasting the wife's money, I bet you would be applauding and saying well done, he fully deserved it. If a wife does it, it's tough love. If the husband does it, he's a bully.

CanadianDimes
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah those were straight up BS and I’m saying this as a woman. What he did was mild, really, and long overdue. He should not be putting up with her refusing to do anything!

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Kristen Woehlke
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have "minor" disabilities and a permanent limp from a car accident and thalassemia (extremely bad anemia that could be fatal if not managed). I'm always tired and in pain. I have a full time job and I take care of my mom! No one knows because I don't tell anyone... So there. I've told you!

Caro Caro
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You're a brave woman. Respect !! And you also take care of your mum... WOW. I wish you all the best Kristen.

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Lost Penny
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even in this situation, the husband is the bad guy 🙄 "She has an eating disorder! She is depressed!!" Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. She is a lazy, manipulative leech. That much audacity could power up a perpetual motion machine.

Anna Jefferson
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well I could believe she has an eating disorder because it's not normal to order so much takeout and fake low blood sugar when he cuts her off is it. I bet she was bored because she didn't work. She's basically a woman child, and not a very good wife.

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Hayhaypaula
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Before taking the actions he told us about, there is no way that he hadn't mentioned it to her earlier!

Sarah Matsoukis
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He did try talking to her. God that is twice the money I have for a whole month.

TribbleThinking
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've lived with personal and familial mental and physical disabilities. Yes, there is depression, clinically caused lethargy, horrible stuff. However, hamming it up and being melodramatic should be recognised as what it is. And the level of fatigue she's claiming is not consistent with being capable of maintaning a whole weekend of fury.

Flopsy
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I usually don’t read the BP bla bla but I just noticed this phrase: ‘ 45% of Americans say their households are dependent on food delivery’. What the hell? I am a millennial with poor cooking skills and haven’t ordered take out from the time I was living in Italy 6 years ago and there was a cheap pizza place that delivered 5 euro pizzas (and that was maybe once a week). This is ridiculous!

CanadianDimes
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It’s a really unclear statistic though. Could be they depend on grocery delivery rather than takeaway. I also suspect “depend” is leading. I get my groceries delivered because I hate grocery shopping, but I don’t *need* to if push comes to shove. So I depend on it as my means of getting my groceries in a casual sense, not in the sense that I can’t get food otherwise

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BrownEyedPanda
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wife sounds like she's depressed, and is using food as a means of coping. She needs therapy, and OP needs to stand his ground on cutting off the money flow. At this rate, they could end up losing their home. OP should give his wife a choice: get counseling and a job, even if it's part-time, and he will consider giving her an allowance. But she will have to open her own checking and savings account and be responsible for them. Perhaps the feeling of earning her own money and being in charge of her personal expenses is what's missing from her life. Just a thought.

StumblingThroughLife
Community Member
4 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I always hope there are no YTAs on posts like this, that should, in no way, be on them. But yeah 🙄. Huge NTA re: the OP's actions. I'm wondering if he's realised he's married to a freeloader (unless she can't reach the fridge/food cupboards, due to her disability?). I also wonder what she suffers with, & why she doesn't qualify as being disabled? But then, thinking on it, that's not my business.

Katharina Sei.
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't understand why two adults can't sit down and talk calmly about what's wrong. Or at least do an income and expenditure statement together?

Adam Benson
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can understand him wanting to plug the financial hole there, but there's room for compromise too. For instance, he could leave her money (if she doesn't have any of her own) to do the food shopping during the day, with freedom to choose food they BOTH like and buy a treat for herself. They could have a takeaway night once a week where they both order their favourite food and drinks and eat it in front of Netfliks or whatever. There are many approaches they could take here.

Sand Ers
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That approach would produce an empty refrigerator and a trash bin full of takeout wrappers.

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Susical
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Obvi, she was wrong for spending money like that. But I wanted to point out one thing: he said she doesn't work because of a "minor disability" and she "complains of discomfort & exhaustion all the time." Why did he phrase it like that - "she complains?" Does he not believe she's really uncomfortable & exhausted? Does SHE call it a "minor disability?" I ask because I have a hidden disability - you can't tell just by looking at me - & I cannot work, even though I wish I could. I have a family member who insists on saying that I "just don't want to work." It's very demoralizing not to be believed when you're in pain. I don't know for sure that's the case - we've only heard one side - but it concerns me. I'm also concerned at the abruptness of cutting off the funds. She should have an account of her own & SOME money.

TribbleThinking
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He says that she's nowhere close to qualifying for disability help, so has looked into it. This means that the country's formal disability system classified her disabilities as minor,.

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Trundle
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It’s funny, you can tell who the unemployed mooches are simply from the YTA comments

Shelli Aderman
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

🤣🤣🤣🤣 If you want to buy take out daily, then work for it. 🙄

Doodles1983
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He's NTA. BUT, he will unfortunately be accused of financial abuse now. :( But she is lazy, and a leech. He works full time, AND makes sure the freezer is stocked. Does she do anything? I mean ANYTHING? Other than eat? He probably feels obliged to stay as she is "ill". But honestly, if she isn't remotely helping herself, or him, he is well within rights to leave. I have a mild-moderate disability myself. I work almost full-time from home. My partner works away all week. So most of the house management falls to me. I look after our pets (4 cats and a dog). We moved to a bigger pricier house as he wanted a garage. I batch cook for him so he isn't constantly resigned to takeaways! He is a trucker and usually has access to a microwave. I also look after family members when their health goes awry as I work in clinical health and background. The adjustment I made for my health was to go from hospital to more desk based environment, I start later so my morning pain reluef can take effect. Oh, and as he wanted the bigger house, I did insist on a cleaner for 2 hours a week but we pay 50/50. That said I'd pick up 2 more hours at work to pay for her myself if he said no. Covid actually opened up the ability for less able people to work in a home base role as the technology is there. It's her attitude that needs an adjustment!

Achiel Meirsman
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wayyyy too many people here really want every s****y person to have some disorder or issue, something/anything to excuse it. But this woman is, 9 chances out of 10, heck 9.99 even just lazy and entitled. I really wish people would stop trying to justify someone being awful, these days they always go out of their way to do so. Some people are just awful.

Fox with a Dragon Tattoo
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What I find interesting, especially from the YTA crowd is the assumption that this happened in a vacuum and that at no point in the past few years has this conversation come up. No way there was no discussion of any of this before hand. People are so simple minded its painful

Page intentially left blank
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA at all. I got the impression that OP had spoken to her many times about it. What he did was completely justifiable. During Covid, my partner and I would order delivery more often than in the past. Once the pandemic was declared over, my partner thought he could still order delivery on a regular basis. I told him over and over that we couldn't afford it, but did nothing to change his habit. I'm the money manager of the household, so I told him that we was no longer allowed to use the joint account for delivery. If he wanted it, it had to come out of his discretionary account. Only if both of us get delivery would it go through the joint account. Guess what? The delivery orders came to a screeching halt. Thankfully, I didn't have to go as far as cutting him off, but I would have if necessary.

I_imagine_even_worse_w***s
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He's nta but I feel this could backfire on him. He definitely should have cancelled the card but maybe a bit of communication would have been beneficial if even only to cover himself.

Arabiata Arabiata
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

May I say that the "wife" is a couch potato? The husband did the perfect thing by cutting off his wife's financial sources. That was the moment that opened his eyes and closed his wallet.

talliloo
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

if his description of her dramatics of lying on the floor because of 'low blood sugar' is believed then his actions were probably for the best. if she has been claiming that she can't work for a mild disability (would like to know what it is because disability is subjective) then seems she is capable of being manipulative and deceptive. the true reason for her not wanting to work - or cook for herself - needs to be sorted out. if it is just a case of laziness then he needs to consider steps beyond cutting of the financial support. sounds like there is more to this story regarding her behavior than is being shared.

Bryn
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Relationships end because of a lack of communication.

Sarah Léon
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have a lot of disabilities and I can't work the traditionnal way. I have Government help and I give my time to an association to help cats. And still I eat takeout twice a month because I like that. All the other meals are done in my own kitchen. Of course, I manage to have easy meals for hard days, but they are in my fridge. Last august I had no car and I had to have takeout a little more often (twice a week), and I found it so expensive ! That woman is a shame of a human being !

Pittsburgh rare
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I really want to know what that "minor disability" is that she can't qualify for anything. And that she can't even nuke something from the freezer in the microwave. A true leech and a slob if I've ever seen one

G A
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

YTA are TA. She is a lazy d-bag bored off her head. Needs to get a job and get out.

Ariadne Morales
Community Member
3 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

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P.L. Packer
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is precisely why I would NEVER have joint accounts or credit cards. And I would NEVER EVER allow someone access to my credit cards or accounts. She is not disabled, she is depressed and needs therapy. She needs to get a job.

White Thunder
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She can work. She just doesn't want to. Plenty of jobs provide accomadations or where the work isn't strenuous.

Happy_Pandalover
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA but i think he could habe talked to her first. Communicate first, then do the consequences if needed.

zovjraar me
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i do think he should have told her that she clearly can't budget appropriately, but other than than, NTA. she can microwave something. wth does she do all day...

tori Ohno
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She sounds depressed. Many people turn to food to bury their feelings. I agree with the YTA votes, she doesn't seem to have any say whatsoever in anything. Does she even get to choose what she wants to eat when he stocks the freezer? I'm thinking no. They need to figure out why she's eating so much, and why she won't cook. I refuse to cook when I'm feeling down. Instead of hitting her over the head he should talk to her, seriously talk to her. I think she need counseling.

KatSaidWhat
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

ESH, should have been handled differently but doing the whole dramatic lying on the floor when there is a fridge full of food - nope, girl, that's a form of emotional blackmail. Sit down, have a proper conversation about boundaries and limits, make a written agreement about giving her an allowance. She keeps her s**t up, you have grounds to show you are actually being abused and manipulated.

Jaguarundi
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My first husband was employed and had a side "job" as a DJ for parties and other businesses in the area. He made 1 1/2 times more money than I did, had a MUCH shorter commute, never shopped for groceries, washed or cleaned anything. He was always broke, but always had money for beer, cigarettes and eating out for himself and his buddies. His parents raised him that way. His parents actually had the gall to confront me over our not having a joint bank account! He went to them to beg for money since his account was locked due to overdrafts and bounced checks.We had accounts in a bank, his, and a credit union, mine. Completely separate, one could not access the other's accounts. I'd had my account since before we had even been engaged, so it was not a secret to anyone. I kept my personal account just in case something happened to him, MY account wouldn't be locked to settle his creditors. My mother had cleaned out her and my father's account the day he asked her for a divorce.

Melissa anderson
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wife sounds like she’s a lazy spoiled brat leeching off her husband who sho only sees him for his money.

Jan van den Broek
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As I see it, this marriage is sung by Led Zeppelin, Communication Breakdown.

Je souhaite
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She's a lazy cow that needs to get a job and pay for all that takeout

DC
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And here we go again - the YTA'ers saying the "she needs therapy". No. She needs to learn something, or needs to straighten priorities. In which way this already justifies the conclusion that her behaviour is health-related (meaning here, accessible by any medical procedure at all, which "therapy" generally is), is beyond me. Is there some comspiracy going on that makes countless people advise to go see a therapist at whatever probem they meet? To ... ramp up therapists' income, or what? There really are things that can be solved by other means than therapy, therapy, therapy. Actually, most things which lead to the advice to "seek therapy", and the things that aren't answered by a flood of therapy-enthusiasts, are all either to be solved without therapy, or are a very, very rare case where reckless spending actually is health-related, and not just an AH disposing of someone else's money. Divorce? Maybe. Don't know enough, haven't heard her side, so ... how do I know?

Lyoness
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Should she have been ordering all that takeout? Absolutely not. Should he have cleaned out their account and cancelled her credit card without telling her? Also absolutely not. The mature thing to do would have been to have a calm conversation about the situation - why she was ordering out so much, the impact on their finances and so on - before cutting her off. The way he's done this will scream financial abuse to any court or even to friends and family, because denying her access to funds of any kind is actually the definition of financial abuse. I'm not saying it's OK for her to keep spending money that way, but I don't think he went about preventing it the right way.

Trillian
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She is an adult, not a small child. An adult who contributes nothing but overspends regularly. Money she did not earn. And he did talk about it.

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Lee Gilliland
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Low blood sugar is not really disabled, it's more just you're so tired. Say that to a model. I dare you.

Libstak
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's dangerous and can put you in a coma or kill you. That being said it takes about 5 candies or a jam sandwich to reverse if you are conscious and her dramatic lying on the ground would have had me start recording while she whinged. Open the fridge while recording, then the pantry, then make her a sugar laden sandwich, continuing to record all while asking Why she didn't partake of the items in the home, listing them one by one as I filmed them. He is being abused here not her.

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C.O. Shea
Community Member
4 weeks ago

This comment has been deleted.

Adam Benson
Community Member
1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For those people saying YTA: If the roles were reversed and it was the unemployed husband wasting the wife's money, I bet you would be applauding and saying well done, he fully deserved it. If a wife does it, it's tough love. If the husband does it, he's a bully.

CanadianDimes
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah those were straight up BS and I’m saying this as a woman. What he did was mild, really, and long overdue. He should not be putting up with her refusing to do anything!

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Kristen Woehlke
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have "minor" disabilities and a permanent limp from a car accident and thalassemia (extremely bad anemia that could be fatal if not managed). I'm always tired and in pain. I have a full time job and I take care of my mom! No one knows because I don't tell anyone... So there. I've told you!

Caro Caro
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You're a brave woman. Respect !! And you also take care of your mum... WOW. I wish you all the best Kristen.

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Lost Penny
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even in this situation, the husband is the bad guy 🙄 "She has an eating disorder! She is depressed!!" Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. She is a lazy, manipulative leech. That much audacity could power up a perpetual motion machine.

Anna Jefferson
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well I could believe she has an eating disorder because it's not normal to order so much takeout and fake low blood sugar when he cuts her off is it. I bet she was bored because she didn't work. She's basically a woman child, and not a very good wife.

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Hayhaypaula
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Before taking the actions he told us about, there is no way that he hadn't mentioned it to her earlier!

Sarah Matsoukis
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He did try talking to her. God that is twice the money I have for a whole month.

TribbleThinking
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've lived with personal and familial mental and physical disabilities. Yes, there is depression, clinically caused lethargy, horrible stuff. However, hamming it up and being melodramatic should be recognised as what it is. And the level of fatigue she's claiming is not consistent with being capable of maintaning a whole weekend of fury.

Flopsy
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I usually don’t read the BP bla bla but I just noticed this phrase: ‘ 45% of Americans say their households are dependent on food delivery’. What the hell? I am a millennial with poor cooking skills and haven’t ordered take out from the time I was living in Italy 6 years ago and there was a cheap pizza place that delivered 5 euro pizzas (and that was maybe once a week). This is ridiculous!

CanadianDimes
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It’s a really unclear statistic though. Could be they depend on grocery delivery rather than takeaway. I also suspect “depend” is leading. I get my groceries delivered because I hate grocery shopping, but I don’t *need* to if push comes to shove. So I depend on it as my means of getting my groceries in a casual sense, not in the sense that I can’t get food otherwise

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BrownEyedPanda
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wife sounds like she's depressed, and is using food as a means of coping. She needs therapy, and OP needs to stand his ground on cutting off the money flow. At this rate, they could end up losing their home. OP should give his wife a choice: get counseling and a job, even if it's part-time, and he will consider giving her an allowance. But she will have to open her own checking and savings account and be responsible for them. Perhaps the feeling of earning her own money and being in charge of her personal expenses is what's missing from her life. Just a thought.

StumblingThroughLife
Community Member
4 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I always hope there are no YTAs on posts like this, that should, in no way, be on them. But yeah 🙄. Huge NTA re: the OP's actions. I'm wondering if he's realised he's married to a freeloader (unless she can't reach the fridge/food cupboards, due to her disability?). I also wonder what she suffers with, & why she doesn't qualify as being disabled? But then, thinking on it, that's not my business.

Katharina Sei.
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't understand why two adults can't sit down and talk calmly about what's wrong. Or at least do an income and expenditure statement together?

Adam Benson
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can understand him wanting to plug the financial hole there, but there's room for compromise too. For instance, he could leave her money (if she doesn't have any of her own) to do the food shopping during the day, with freedom to choose food they BOTH like and buy a treat for herself. They could have a takeaway night once a week where they both order their favourite food and drinks and eat it in front of Netfliks or whatever. There are many approaches they could take here.

Sand Ers
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That approach would produce an empty refrigerator and a trash bin full of takeout wrappers.

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Susical
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Obvi, she was wrong for spending money like that. But I wanted to point out one thing: he said she doesn't work because of a "minor disability" and she "complains of discomfort & exhaustion all the time." Why did he phrase it like that - "she complains?" Does he not believe she's really uncomfortable & exhausted? Does SHE call it a "minor disability?" I ask because I have a hidden disability - you can't tell just by looking at me - & I cannot work, even though I wish I could. I have a family member who insists on saying that I "just don't want to work." It's very demoralizing not to be believed when you're in pain. I don't know for sure that's the case - we've only heard one side - but it concerns me. I'm also concerned at the abruptness of cutting off the funds. She should have an account of her own & SOME money.

TribbleThinking
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He says that she's nowhere close to qualifying for disability help, so has looked into it. This means that the country's formal disability system classified her disabilities as minor,.

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Trundle
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It’s funny, you can tell who the unemployed mooches are simply from the YTA comments

Shelli Aderman
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

🤣🤣🤣🤣 If you want to buy take out daily, then work for it. 🙄

Doodles1983
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He's NTA. BUT, he will unfortunately be accused of financial abuse now. :( But she is lazy, and a leech. He works full time, AND makes sure the freezer is stocked. Does she do anything? I mean ANYTHING? Other than eat? He probably feels obliged to stay as she is "ill". But honestly, if she isn't remotely helping herself, or him, he is well within rights to leave. I have a mild-moderate disability myself. I work almost full-time from home. My partner works away all week. So most of the house management falls to me. I look after our pets (4 cats and a dog). We moved to a bigger pricier house as he wanted a garage. I batch cook for him so he isn't constantly resigned to takeaways! He is a trucker and usually has access to a microwave. I also look after family members when their health goes awry as I work in clinical health and background. The adjustment I made for my health was to go from hospital to more desk based environment, I start later so my morning pain reluef can take effect. Oh, and as he wanted the bigger house, I did insist on a cleaner for 2 hours a week but we pay 50/50. That said I'd pick up 2 more hours at work to pay for her myself if he said no. Covid actually opened up the ability for less able people to work in a home base role as the technology is there. It's her attitude that needs an adjustment!

Achiel Meirsman
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wayyyy too many people here really want every s****y person to have some disorder or issue, something/anything to excuse it. But this woman is, 9 chances out of 10, heck 9.99 even just lazy and entitled. I really wish people would stop trying to justify someone being awful, these days they always go out of their way to do so. Some people are just awful.

Fox with a Dragon Tattoo
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What I find interesting, especially from the YTA crowd is the assumption that this happened in a vacuum and that at no point in the past few years has this conversation come up. No way there was no discussion of any of this before hand. People are so simple minded its painful

Page intentially left blank
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA at all. I got the impression that OP had spoken to her many times about it. What he did was completely justifiable. During Covid, my partner and I would order delivery more often than in the past. Once the pandemic was declared over, my partner thought he could still order delivery on a regular basis. I told him over and over that we couldn't afford it, but did nothing to change his habit. I'm the money manager of the household, so I told him that we was no longer allowed to use the joint account for delivery. If he wanted it, it had to come out of his discretionary account. Only if both of us get delivery would it go through the joint account. Guess what? The delivery orders came to a screeching halt. Thankfully, I didn't have to go as far as cutting him off, but I would have if necessary.

I_imagine_even_worse_w***s
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He's nta but I feel this could backfire on him. He definitely should have cancelled the card but maybe a bit of communication would have been beneficial if even only to cover himself.

Arabiata Arabiata
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

May I say that the "wife" is a couch potato? The husband did the perfect thing by cutting off his wife's financial sources. That was the moment that opened his eyes and closed his wallet.

talliloo
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

if his description of her dramatics of lying on the floor because of 'low blood sugar' is believed then his actions were probably for the best. if she has been claiming that she can't work for a mild disability (would like to know what it is because disability is subjective) then seems she is capable of being manipulative and deceptive. the true reason for her not wanting to work - or cook for herself - needs to be sorted out. if it is just a case of laziness then he needs to consider steps beyond cutting of the financial support. sounds like there is more to this story regarding her behavior than is being shared.

Bryn
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Relationships end because of a lack of communication.

Sarah Léon
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have a lot of disabilities and I can't work the traditionnal way. I have Government help and I give my time to an association to help cats. And still I eat takeout twice a month because I like that. All the other meals are done in my own kitchen. Of course, I manage to have easy meals for hard days, but they are in my fridge. Last august I had no car and I had to have takeout a little more often (twice a week), and I found it so expensive ! That woman is a shame of a human being !

Pittsburgh rare
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I really want to know what that "minor disability" is that she can't qualify for anything. And that she can't even nuke something from the freezer in the microwave. A true leech and a slob if I've ever seen one

G A
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

YTA are TA. She is a lazy d-bag bored off her head. Needs to get a job and get out.

Ariadne Morales
Community Member
3 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

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P.L. Packer
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is precisely why I would NEVER have joint accounts or credit cards. And I would NEVER EVER allow someone access to my credit cards or accounts. She is not disabled, she is depressed and needs therapy. She needs to get a job.

White Thunder
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She can work. She just doesn't want to. Plenty of jobs provide accomadations or where the work isn't strenuous.

Happy_Pandalover
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA but i think he could habe talked to her first. Communicate first, then do the consequences if needed.

zovjraar me
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i do think he should have told her that she clearly can't budget appropriately, but other than than, NTA. she can microwave something. wth does she do all day...

tori Ohno
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She sounds depressed. Many people turn to food to bury their feelings. I agree with the YTA votes, she doesn't seem to have any say whatsoever in anything. Does she even get to choose what she wants to eat when he stocks the freezer? I'm thinking no. They need to figure out why she's eating so much, and why she won't cook. I refuse to cook when I'm feeling down. Instead of hitting her over the head he should talk to her, seriously talk to her. I think she need counseling.

KatSaidWhat
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

ESH, should have been handled differently but doing the whole dramatic lying on the floor when there is a fridge full of food - nope, girl, that's a form of emotional blackmail. Sit down, have a proper conversation about boundaries and limits, make a written agreement about giving her an allowance. She keeps her s**t up, you have grounds to show you are actually being abused and manipulated.

Jaguarundi
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My first husband was employed and had a side "job" as a DJ for parties and other businesses in the area. He made 1 1/2 times more money than I did, had a MUCH shorter commute, never shopped for groceries, washed or cleaned anything. He was always broke, but always had money for beer, cigarettes and eating out for himself and his buddies. His parents raised him that way. His parents actually had the gall to confront me over our not having a joint bank account! He went to them to beg for money since his account was locked due to overdrafts and bounced checks.We had accounts in a bank, his, and a credit union, mine. Completely separate, one could not access the other's accounts. I'd had my account since before we had even been engaged, so it was not a secret to anyone. I kept my personal account just in case something happened to him, MY account wouldn't be locked to settle his creditors. My mother had cleaned out her and my father's account the day he asked her for a divorce.

Melissa anderson
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wife sounds like she’s a lazy spoiled brat leeching off her husband who sho only sees him for his money.

Jan van den Broek
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As I see it, this marriage is sung by Led Zeppelin, Communication Breakdown.

Je souhaite
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She's a lazy cow that needs to get a job and pay for all that takeout

DC
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And here we go again - the YTA'ers saying the "she needs therapy". No. She needs to learn something, or needs to straighten priorities. In which way this already justifies the conclusion that her behaviour is health-related (meaning here, accessible by any medical procedure at all, which "therapy" generally is), is beyond me. Is there some comspiracy going on that makes countless people advise to go see a therapist at whatever probem they meet? To ... ramp up therapists' income, or what? There really are things that can be solved by other means than therapy, therapy, therapy. Actually, most things which lead to the advice to "seek therapy", and the things that aren't answered by a flood of therapy-enthusiasts, are all either to be solved without therapy, or are a very, very rare case where reckless spending actually is health-related, and not just an AH disposing of someone else's money. Divorce? Maybe. Don't know enough, haven't heard her side, so ... how do I know?

Lyoness
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Should she have been ordering all that takeout? Absolutely not. Should he have cleaned out their account and cancelled her credit card without telling her? Also absolutely not. The mature thing to do would have been to have a calm conversation about the situation - why she was ordering out so much, the impact on their finances and so on - before cutting her off. The way he's done this will scream financial abuse to any court or even to friends and family, because denying her access to funds of any kind is actually the definition of financial abuse. I'm not saying it's OK for her to keep spending money that way, but I don't think he went about preventing it the right way.

Trillian
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She is an adult, not a small child. An adult who contributes nothing but overspends regularly. Money she did not earn. And he did talk about it.

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Lee Gilliland
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Low blood sugar is not really disabled, it's more just you're so tired. Say that to a model. I dare you.

Libstak
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's dangerous and can put you in a coma or kill you. That being said it takes about 5 candies or a jam sandwich to reverse if you are conscious and her dramatic lying on the ground would have had me start recording while she whinged. Open the fridge while recording, then the pantry, then make her a sugar laden sandwich, continuing to record all while asking Why she didn't partake of the items in the home, listing them one by one as I filmed them. He is being abused here not her.

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C.O. Shea
Community Member
4 weeks ago

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