For those people saying YTA: If the roles were reversed and it was the unemployed husband wasting the wife's money, I bet you would be applauding and saying well done, he fully deserved it. If a wife does it, it's tough love. If the husband does it, he's a bully.

Buddy doesn't have a wife, he has a leech.

Before taking the actions he told us about, there is no way that he hadn't mentioned it to her earlier!

I've lived with personal and familial mental and physical disabilities. Yes, there is depression, clinically caused lethargy, horrible stuff. However, hamming it up and being melodramatic should be recognised as what it is. And the level of fatigue she's claiming is not consistent with being capable of maintaning a whole weekend of fury.

Dude, why are you with her exactly?

Fair. Sounds like OP is stck with a woman child.

Why would you stay with someone like that???

I can understand him wanting to plug the financial hole there, but there's room for compromise too. For instance, he could leave her money (if she doesn't have any of her own) to do the food shopping during the day, with freedom to choose food they BOTH like and buy a treat for herself. They could have a takeaway night once a week where they both order their favourite food and drinks and eat it in front of Netfliks or whatever. There are many approaches they could take here.

🤣🤣🤣🤣 If you want to buy take out daily, then work for it. 🙄

Wayyyy too many people here really want every s****y person to have some disorder or issue, something/anything to excuse it. But this woman is, 9 chances out of 10, heck 9.99 even just lazy and entitled. I really wish people would stop trying to justify someone being awful, these days they always go out of their way to do so. Some people are just awful.

NTA at all. I got the impression that OP had spoken to her many times about it. What he did was completely justifiable. During Covid, my partner and I would order delivery more often than in the past. Once the pandemic was declared over, my partner thought he could still order delivery on a regular basis. I told him over and over that we couldn't afford it, but did nothing to change his habit. I'm the money manager of the household, so I told him that we was no longer allowed to use the joint account for delivery. If he wanted it, it had to come out of his discretionary account. Only if both of us get delivery would it go through the joint account. Guess what? The delivery orders came to a screeching halt. Thankfully, I didn't have to go as far as cutting him off, but I would have if necessary.

He's nta but I feel this could backfire on him. He definitely should have cancelled the card but maybe a bit of communication would have been beneficial if even only to cover himself.

She’s a straight up mooch.

if his description of her dramatics of lying on the floor because of 'low blood sugar' is believed then his actions were probably for the best. if she has been claiming that she can't work for a mild disability (would like to know what it is because disability is subjective) then seems she is capable of being manipulative and deceptive. the true reason for her not wanting to work - or cook for herself - needs to be sorted out. if it is just a case of laziness then he needs to consider steps beyond cutting of the financial support. sounds like there is more to this story regarding her behavior than is being shared.

Is the wife Peggy Bundy?

Nta

I really want to know what that "minor disability" is that she can't qualify for anything. And that she can't even nuke something from the freezer in the microwave. A true leech and a slob if I've ever seen one

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She can work. She just doesn't want to. Plenty of jobs provide accomadations or where the work isn't strenuous.

i do think he should have told her that she clearly can't budget appropriately, but other than than, NTA. she can microwave something. wth does she do all day...

Brother in Christ you managed to pick a real winner

It does sound like the eating disorder is already there.

My first husband was employed and had a side "job" as a DJ for parties and other businesses in the area. He made 1 1/2 times more money than I did, had a MUCH shorter commute, never shopped for groceries, washed or cleaned anything. He was always broke, but always had money for beer, cigarettes and eating out for himself and his buddies. His parents raised him that way. His parents actually had the gall to confront me over our not having a joint bank account! He went to them to beg for money since his account was locked due to overdrafts and bounced checks.We had accounts in a bank, his, and a credit union, mine. Completely separate, one could not access the other's accounts. I'd had my account since before we had even been engaged, so it was not a secret to anyone. I kept my personal account just in case something happened to him, MY account wouldn't be locked to settle his creditors. My mother had cleaned out her and my father's account the day he asked her for a divorce.

As I see it, this marriage is sung by Led Zeppelin, Communication Breakdown.

And here we go again - the YTA'ers saying the "she needs therapy". No. She needs to learn something, or needs to straighten priorities. In which way this already justifies the conclusion that her behaviour is health-related (meaning here, accessible by any medical procedure at all, which "therapy" generally is), is beyond me. Is there some comspiracy going on that makes countless people advise to go see a therapist at whatever probem they meet? To ... ramp up therapists' income, or what? There really are things that can be solved by other means than therapy, therapy, therapy. Actually, most things which lead to the advice to "seek therapy", and the things that aren't answered by a flood of therapy-enthusiasts, are all either to be solved without therapy, or are a very, very rare case where reckless spending actually is health-related, and not just an AH disposing of someone else's money. Divorce? Maybe. Don't know enough, haven't heard her side, so ... how do I know?

Why in the world are you married. Divorce now

Low blood sugar is not really disabled, it's more just you're so tired. Say that to a model. I dare you.