Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app
Continue in app Continue in browser

Add post form topAdd Post
Tooltip close

The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here.

Woman Chooses Greece Vacation Over Helping Husband After Wisdom Teeth Removal, Family Livid
873

Woman Chooses Greece Vacation Over Helping Husband After Wisdom Teeth Removal, Family Livid

Interview With Expert
ADVERTISEMENT

Picture this: you’ve been planning your dream vacation with your friends for over a year. You’ve got your suitcase packed, beach outfits ready, and everyone is excited for the adventure.

But then, something comes up that could mess up all your fun.

That’s the tough spot one woman on Reddit found herself in. She had a girls’ trip to Greece booked well in advance, but her husband chose that time to schedule his wisdom teeth surgery. Despite knowing her travel dates, he expected her to cancel and stay home to care for him. She decided to go anyway, leaving his family furious.

Keep reading to see how it all played out.

RELATED:

    The woman had been planning her vacation to Greece for over a year

    Image credits:  varyapigu/Envato (not the actual photo)

    Despite knowing this, her husband scheduled his surgery during the trip and asked her to cancel and take care of him

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Image credits: msvyatkovska/Envato (not the actual photo)

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Image credits: DisobeyArtPh/Envato (not the actual photo)

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Image credits: Good_Donut_816

    Poor communication can put a serious strain on relationships

    When you exchange wedding vows, there’s an understanding that you’ll support your partner through sickness and health. But in modern marriages, what that looks like can vary.

    In the Reddit story, the couple had different expectations about what should come first—OP’s long-awaited vacation or staying behind to care for her husband.

    Bored Panda reached out to relationship therapist and couples counselor Elinor Harvey to hear her thoughts on this.

    Harvey believed the wife handled things quite well overall. “It seems like she suggested a surgery date that worked for both of them, but he chose not to take it. Plus, she made sure his mother was there to help him during recovery,” she pointed out. “In the end, the responsibility for picking that date was his. She even checked in while she was away, and he didn’t communicate any need for her to come back. She’s not a mind reader!”

    Still, Harvey acknowledged that the husband’s sense of hurt or abandonment was valid. It’s possible he had trouble expressing it at the time, which might have stirred up deeper emotional wounds from childhood.

    ADVERTISEMENT

    “It’s important for his wife to listen to his feelings and see how they can heal the relationship,” Harvey added. “However, the accountability for communicating those feelings lands on him, unfortunately. And being angry at her is unlikely to make anything better.”

    Image credits:  1footage/Envato (not the actual photo)

    Open dialogue is key in cases like this, according to Harvey. When the couple was deciding on the surgery date, a better discussion could have helped. For instance, what meant more to the husband—having his wife there, or feeling mentally prepared for the surgery?

    “Obviously, they both matter,” said Harvey. “But it sounds like the pair didn’t fully explore each other’s needs. For example, we don’t know how emotionally significant it might have been for the wife to have her trip to Greece. Spending time with friends and family is an essential part of self-care, and if we’re not taking care of our own well-being, it’s impossible to look after others.”

    Communication problems, in fact, are a top reason for divorce, according to a survey by Your Tango. The findings show that 70% of men see nagging or complaining as a major issue, and 65% feel unappreciated by their partner. Meanwhile, 83% of women say their biggest concern is not having their feelings validated

    ADVERTISEMENT

    When tensions rise, Harvey suggests couples try a ‘Speaker/Listener’ approach. In this method, one partner speaks while the other actively listens, then uses a ‘mirroring’ technique to repeat back what they’ve heard to make sure they’ve understood them correctly.

    “This slows things down and stops couples from getting into back-and-forth arguments, focusing on understanding rather than winning,” she explains. “A good rule of thumb in communication is that if one of you is ‘winning,’ then the relationship is probably losing!”

    “Consider how the husband [on Reddit] could have addressed the situation by saying, ‘I’m feeling abandoned and hurt by you not being there, and I need some one-on-one time with you this week to feel connected again,’” Harvey notes.

    “Communicating clearly and being able to express specific needs is a great way to help resolve rifts like this.”

    Many commenters sided with the woman, arguing that her husband was trying to manipulate her into staying

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT

    Others, however, felt she was wrong for choosing her friends over her husband

    Ic_polls

    Poll Question

    Thanks! Check out the results:

    Share on Facebook
    Oleksandra Kyryliuk

    Oleksandra Kyryliuk

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    Kyiv-born, Vilnius-dwelling writer with a suitcase full of curiosity. My Master's in International Communication fuels my love for exploring different stories. Whether I'm putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard), you might catch me out and about with my film camera, cycling around, or on a quest for the perfect coffee spot. Occasionally seen trying to find inner peace on the yoga mat.

    Read less »
    Oleksandra Kyryliuk

    Oleksandra Kyryliuk

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Kyiv-born, Vilnius-dwelling writer with a suitcase full of curiosity. My Master's in International Communication fuels my love for exploring different stories. Whether I'm putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard), you might catch me out and about with my film camera, cycling around, or on a quest for the perfect coffee spot. Occasionally seen trying to find inner peace on the yoga mat.

    Ilona Baliūnaitė

    Ilona Baliūnaitė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    I'm a Visual Editor at Bored Panda since 2017. I've searched through a multitude of images to create over 2000 diverse posts on a wide range of topics. I love memes, funny, and cute stuff, but I'm also into social issues topics. Despite my background in communication, my heart belongs to visual media, especially photography. When I'm not at my desk, you're likely to find me in the streets with my camera, checking out cool exhibitions, watching a movie at the cinema or just chilling with a coffee in a cozy place

    Read less »

    Ilona Baliūnaitė

    Ilona Baliūnaitė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    I'm a Visual Editor at Bored Panda since 2017. I've searched through a multitude of images to create over 2000 diverse posts on a wide range of topics. I love memes, funny, and cute stuff, but I'm also into social issues topics. Despite my background in communication, my heart belongs to visual media, especially photography. When I'm not at my desk, you're likely to find me in the streets with my camera, checking out cool exhibitions, watching a movie at the cinema or just chilling with a coffee in a cozy place

    What do you think ?
    Add photo comments
    POST
    BewilderedBanana
    Community Member
    3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Did the YTA people read the whole thing? It's minor surgery which could have been planned for another date. Not "mentally prepared" my äss. Dental pain is something you want to sort out ASAP - even if the dentist said we can do it NOW i would have said go ahead, but that's me. If this guy was OK to wait 3 months, then he was OK to wait for another month and not choose the one option where his wife would be away.

    Kobe (she)
    Community Member
    3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA of course. This minor surgery could have been scheduled differently. He had other options. And this surgery takes one out of the running ( to the extent that one can't take care of themselves) for how long ? One day ? Maybe two...?

    Load More Replies...
    Trillian
    Community Member
    3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had my wisdom teeth taken out (dug out of my jaw before they broke through) when I was a young teenager. I was home alone most of the day bc my parents had to work. How much "being taken care of" does a grown a*s guy need here?

    Ben Aziza
    Community Member
    3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The real issue is he does not want the wife to go on the trip. So for me It is an excuse. I bet my left nut that he is the insecure/controlling type of guy.

    Load More Replies...
    TribbleThinking
    Community Member
    3 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Book another fun trip. Give him notice. Come back here and tell us what innovative obstacle he dreamt up for this second trip. Good luck! Oh and make sure to pay the extra for holiday cancellation insurance because he might be getting good at this.

    Load More Comments
    BewilderedBanana
    Community Member
    3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Did the YTA people read the whole thing? It's minor surgery which could have been planned for another date. Not "mentally prepared" my äss. Dental pain is something you want to sort out ASAP - even if the dentist said we can do it NOW i would have said go ahead, but that's me. If this guy was OK to wait 3 months, then he was OK to wait for another month and not choose the one option where his wife would be away.

    Kobe (she)
    Community Member
    3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA of course. This minor surgery could have been scheduled differently. He had other options. And this surgery takes one out of the running ( to the extent that one can't take care of themselves) for how long ? One day ? Maybe two...?

    Load More Replies...
    Trillian
    Community Member
    3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had my wisdom teeth taken out (dug out of my jaw before they broke through) when I was a young teenager. I was home alone most of the day bc my parents had to work. How much "being taken care of" does a grown a*s guy need here?

    Ben Aziza
    Community Member
    3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The real issue is he does not want the wife to go on the trip. So for me It is an excuse. I bet my left nut that he is the insecure/controlling type of guy.

    Load More Replies...
    TribbleThinking
    Community Member
    3 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Book another fun trip. Give him notice. Come back here and tell us what innovative obstacle he dreamt up for this second trip. Good luck! Oh and make sure to pay the extra for holiday cancellation insurance because he might be getting good at this.

    Load More Comments
    You May Like
    Related on Bored Panda
    Related on Bored Panda
    Trending on Bored Panda
    Also on Bored Panda