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Someone Asks “People Who Don’t Ever Want To Have Kids, Why?” And People Deliver 30 Honest Replies In psych class we learned about a study where they separated monkeys from their mothers at birth. The monkeys grew to be anxious and twitchy. When those monkeys had their own kids, the mothers didn't know how to care for them. I was raised horribly so I don't know how to raise someone well. My parents had children even though their parents abused them. My grandparents' parents probably also abused them. I'm just cutting off the cycle.

Spencer2091 , Lucas Metz Report

Final score:

365points

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tiari 3 years ago (edited)

I am so damn happy my mom broke the cycle of abuse. No idea how she did it, but she did amazing. I would understand it perfectly if she decided against having kids (except of course I would not exist). I am not sure I would have had the courage if I were in her place. And I honestly think my aunt/her sister never should have had kids. My cousins think so too btw.

99points

Since childfree life has become a much-discussed topic these days, Bored Panda reached out to three amazing childfree women, Colombia-based Isabel, Kristen from the US, and LeNora from Canada, who run the project Childfree Girls, a podcast and web series for the childfree community.

When asked if more people are opting for a childfree life, the Childfree Girls said that even though global fertility rates have been falling in the past few years, it would be hard to state that more and more people are opting for a childfree life.

“We believe that what has been happening is that more people are openly talking about their choice to not become parents, so it might give the impression that more people are choosing to not have kids. The childfree choice is not a new choice, but it is certainly a lot easier to express it nowadays than it was a few decades ago, let alone a few centuries ago,” they explained.

Someone Asks “People Who Don’t Ever Want To Have Kids, Why?” And People Deliver 30 Honest Replies My life is complete without children. Plus, I'd rather just stick to cats.

Merri-Weather , Kari Shea Report

Final score:

296points

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Katie Lutesinger 3 years ago

With me it's my pet rats. I guess you gotta have something to love and fuss over and worry about, even if it's not kids!

36points

Zoe's Mom 3 years ago

For me, it's my dog and her pack. I have a 'dog-park' family that I got to know when I adopted Zoe and took her to the park. It's been 4 years and we are still going strong. My mother wasn't the worst but not the best either and I was afraid of being like her. My younger sister turned out like her. Plus, I didn't want to put my life on hold for 18-25 years. Plus, Plus, I don't think I could have traveled to the places I've gone if I have had kids.

8points

Batwench Premium 3 years ago

Rats make excellent pets. Good choice.

2points

Nicki 3 years ago

I LOVE RATS as pets! I had them growing up (RIP Punky) and my daughter has had them as pets too.

1point

Kai Scadden 3 years ago

UPVOTE THE CRAZY CAT LADY!!and the rat lady in the comments!

11points

Id row 3 years ago

I could write a large volume about how cats are better than kids, lol. I'll definitely stick with cats.

8points

Freya the Wanderer 3 years ago

Medical bills are lower, no need to set up a college fund, no elaborate birthday parties, no PTA meetings, no tantrums in the middle of a grocery store...

2points

zovjraar me 3 years ago

i adore my cats and i do call them my babies. i know having pets and having kids are two different things. i'm a great cat mom, but i don't think i'd be a good person mom. i like that i only have to interact with my cats for maybe a total of 2 hours spread throughout the day.

5points

Madeleine Pettit 3 years ago

cats are easier to take care of :)

4points

Linda HS 3 years ago

Amen to that

2points

Flash Henry 3 years ago

SAME

2points

Night Owl 3 years ago

Same here :D

1point

Batwench Premium 3 years ago

I can’t remember writing this. It’s one of my reasons.

1point

Tiffany Marie 3 years ago

Me too.

0points

Dolores Đenadija 3 years ago

This.

0points

HarpyHarpia 3 years ago

Same, but with birds! I prefer and love them~

0points

Sarah 3 years ago

100% agree!

0points

Theoretical Empiricist 3 years ago

I'd pass on pets, too. They have the same lack of conversational skills and taste.

0points

AngelWingsYT 3 years ago

I mean cats are like tiny human. They cry for food an attention gotta clean their poopoo XD the need exercise and love xD

0points

AngelWingsYT 3 years ago

Addon: they also can have tantrums 👍

0points

GFSTaylor 3 years ago

Cats are better than children, because it's perfectly legal to get them stoned and laugh at them.

-1point

Someone Asks “People Who Don’t Ever Want To Have Kids, Why?” And People Deliver 30 Honest Replies For me its the myriad of mental disorders i have, i dont want to pass that on to another human being, much less my own child

gyffer , John Report

Final score:

277points

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Ember 3 years ago

Living with Bipolar Disorder has been a constant struggle and I knew that I could never put anyone through the same. I knew that I’d rather not have biological children at all than have to watch them go through the same daily nightmares.

34points

There are many reasons behind choosing a childfree life, and they’re all specific to each person, the authors of Childfree Girls told us. They continued: “These include lack of a support system, lack of a permanent romantic partner, environmental concerns, medical issues, lack of financial stability, exposure to danger or risk (in war zones, for example), personal beliefs, among many others.” Moreover, “Some people just don’t want to be parents, period.” Essentially, “All reasons are valid reasons,” they explained.

Someone Asks “People Who Don’t Ever Want To Have Kids, Why?” And People Deliver 30 Honest Replies I have two boys, and I love them, but boy do I wish I hadn't had them. Whether it be political, climatic, or economical, their future doesn't look too bright, and my whole life is now dedicated to making sure I can be around and financially available to help them in a cutthroat world.

MrCakesSr , kevingent Report

Final score:

238points

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Michelle Cunningham 3 years ago

Thank you for your honesty, I think a lot of parents feel the same way but are afraid to say it. It doesn't mean you don't love your children, it just means you are human. Kids are such a huge, overwhelming responsibility.

99points

Someone Asks “People Who Don’t Ever Want To Have Kids, Why?” And People Deliver 30 Honest Replies Freedom. My husband and I would probably be pretty good parents and we’re in a good spot financially, but we feel complete with each other. We have fun together and want to spend the rest of our lives without the responsibility and stress of kids.

billieaspen515 , averieclaire Report

Final score:

213points

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Caro Caro 3 years ago

Every reason is a reason!

31points

I_have_stuffs_to_add , Piron Guillaume Report

There are many misconceptions about people who choose not to have kids in this society. So when asked how childfree people deal with societal pressure, Childfree Girls said that people cope in different ways for any number of reasons, and childfree folk are not the exception. “Unfortunately, we live in a pronatalist world, so many of us do feel pressured to have kids a lot of the time.”

“There isn’t one specific way to deal with societal pressure, and some people have a better grasp on this than others. In general terms, we believe that when childfree people are totally accepting of their own choice and have a healthy amount of self-love and self-confidence, it comes naturally to not be too adversely affected by the criticism (blatant or subtle) that might come from family, friends, co-workers, news articles, TV shows, movies, magazines, etc.”

Someone Asks “People Who Don’t Ever Want To Have Kids, Why?” And People Deliver 30 Honest Replies I just have no desire. I don’t hate kids, I love my Nieces and Nephews and have a great time being an influential part of their life. However, that means that I also see how difficult and stressful it is to raise kids. I understand that people really love it and it’s worth it to them, but that’s just not me.

Final score:

197points

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Otter 3 years ago

Practical reasons aside, I've never for one moment of my life wanted to have any. That's an unassailable reason in itself.

49points

Someone Asks “People Who Don’t Ever Want To Have Kids, Why?” And People Deliver 30 Honest Replies Have you seen the world out there? I mean several generations have already looked at serious looming problems and said, "but the children are our future! They'll fix it!"

Within my lifetime I've seen climate change go from "global warming" and very mild changes to once-in-a-century environmental events happening every year.

The boomers kept saying that one day the younger generations will be in charge and they'd deal with it then, but even now the boomers are a massive proportion of the voting population with it only being 3 years since Millenials have outnumbered them.

It's time to stop making more people until we can fix the problems we're causing.

DJCorvid , Jospeee P Report

Final score:

197points

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Chich 3 years ago

Gotta get out and vote! Seems like older folks do and younger folks don't. You got the numbers, us them.

7points

According to Childfree Girls, some people might decide not to engage at all and let it slide. “Others see these moments as opportunities to have a conversation with others about how parenthood is a choice” they said and added that “The important thing to remember is that we do not owe an explanation, nor do we need to justify our choice to anyone.”

It's also important to note that childfree people get called “selfish” a lot, and this is a huge misconception. “We believe that understanding that we are not selfish, but self-aware, is the first step to deal with societal pressure,” the authors of Childfree Girls said. “There is nothing inherently selfish about choosing not to reproduce. There is, however, something incredibly selfish about demanding others reproduce in order to satisfy one's own ideas or beliefs about who should be creating more people.”

Someone Asks “People Who Don’t Ever Want To Have Kids, Why?” And People Deliver 30 Honest Replies I find them very annoying

SacredO1927 , profwicks Report

Final score:

192points

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beastmachine. 3 years ago

This!

47points

#10

Someone Asks “People Who Don’t Ever Want To Have Kids, Why?” And People Deliver 30 Honest Replies Oh SO many reasons. Where to begin.

I am a woman, which means 100% of the physical aspects of pregnancy (extreme nausea, discomfort, pain, hormone imbalances, etc) and then labor which is widely recognized as one of the single most painful things the body can go through. Then once the baby is born you feed it with your boobs, and in many cases are the main caretaker, emotional support, time manager, cook, maid, and breadwinner for that human. I simply do not want to do ANY of that. For me personally, pregnancy and birth is the equivalent of body horror like the Saw movies, or most aptly, Alien!

I grew up in a very culty evangelical church in the midst of Mormon Utah. So EVERYONE around has super conservative traditional values and woman’s sole purpose in life is to squeeze out kids. Not to have hopes and aspirations, careers, or anything like that. If you’re a woman where I’m from, you have to make your dream around having kids. You are only a womb and you must be owned by a man.

I have a sensory processing disorder that makes me get very overwhelmed pretty easily. Kids are noisy and messy and stinky and fragile. And while I like kids, en masse they are REALLY hard for me to be around.

Nothing about being a parent whatsoever appeals to me. I simply don’t want to do any of that. I absolutely love being able to go anywhere and do anything on a whim and I love my alone time.

I have more than my share of physical and mental disorders I would never wish on another human.

There are millions of orphans in the world - what about ME and my genes is so special that I have to create an entire new human from scratch? The world doesn’t need more people. I’m curious actually many people find making their own babies more important giving a home to child in need? (Not trying to be a dick or accusatory - genuinely curious. I know couples who’ve spent tens of thousands of dollars on fertility treatments when that money could’ve just as easily gone to adopting a child.)

FOR THE RECORD: this is solely my opinion. I don’t expect anyone to feel the same and I’m happy for people who love kids and want to have their own.

hashslingaslah , Jake Melara Report

Final score:

186points

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Ren Karlej 3 years ago

I wanted to adopt but then my health went awry and it wouldn't be fair, let alone likely that I would have been given the go ahead.

26points

At this point, the Childfree Girls believe that there will be more people who choose not to have children. “We’re already seeing this choice being more prevalent in people from Gen Z, who are, in general, a lot more vocal about the things that they want, what they don’t want, and what they believe in.”

“Younger generations display a growing concern for environmental, social, economic, and political issues, some of which could be alleviated or resolved by a decrease in human population. For example, in the past few years, several reports from international organizations about the reduction of the carbon footprint have been published.”

“One of these studies’ main conclusion was that the greatest impact in fighting climate change is to have one fewer child, which in some countries translates to having none (Environmental Research Letters, 2017).”

#11

Someone Asks “People Who Don’t Ever Want To Have Kids, Why?” And People Deliver 30 Honest Replies I dont even know if I will have a future myself. It feels selfish to bring a child into this world at this current state.

didi_0920 , Denkrahm Report

Final score:

176points

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Id row 3 years ago

And the entitlement epidemic is only getting worse every year. Even if you don't raise your kid to be like that, the internet and their peers will gladly fill the void.

6points

#12

I don’t see the point. There are enough kids on the planet, and I don’t think I’m so precious that I need to replicate my genes. Honestly, I’ve never met anyone who is.

throwawaygrosso Report

Final score:

158points

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Raf A El 3 years ago

Amen!!!

24points

However, more than believing that childfree life is the future, Childfree Girls hope that in the future, people take more time to really reflect on the choice to become a parent. It’s important to realize that “bringing a child into this world is a huge responsibility and it takes a big commitment to raise happy and loved human beings. To introduce and rear a new human being because of pressure, and not out of a genuine, conscious desire, is tragic for everyone involved,” they said.

#13

Someone Asks “People Who Don’t Ever Want To Have Kids, Why?” And People Deliver 30 Honest Replies I was parentified as child to my 4 younger siblings. When I see a child now, I act nice but cannot wait to get away from it.

A child crying/screaming immediatly puts me in a angry/foul mood for the rest of the day.

I had my share of caring for kids, and have next to nothing positive come out of it...

codegamer1 Report

Final score:

148points

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Heather Menard 3 years ago

Just walk into a Walmart and you will never want children

41points

#14

Someone Asks “People Who Don’t Ever Want To Have Kids, Why?” And People Deliver 30 Honest Replies So I'm super late to the party (as usual) but maybe one person will see this. I grew up with an abusive father. Sadly, I see myself acting like him way too much. I really hate it. I know that when I raise my voice at my mum she thinks I'm just like my father. If I ever get kids I'd mess them up. I'll be just as bad of a parent as he was and I don't want to be someone who brings this kid into the world just to end up f**king them up.

bruuuuuuuuuceee , Tim Massey Report

Final score:

147points

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Assaj Ventress 3 years ago

You are very brave and very insightful and I commend you for such a wise decision- you can’t change how your father treated you but you’re taking responsibility anyway and I have so much respect

50points

swiggityswootoot , kelli_mcclintock Report

#15

Someone Asks “People Who Don’t Ever Want To Have Kids, Why?” And People Deliver 30 Honest Replies I’d love to if I could be a father. Motherhood asks you to sacrifice everything from your body to identity to even your life for your child (my mom almost died in childbirth). I love my body, my financial freedom, my career, my relationship, and the cleanliness and silence of my home. I refuse to give any of that up for a child I know I would resent for upheaving my life.

I firmly believe that unless you have daydreams about having children and know you ABSOLUTELY want to have them, do NOT have them. They are not something you can feel ambivalent about. They are the ultimate lifestyle change and anyone saying otherwise is lying.

Final score:

145points

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Erdot 3 years ago

This is spot on. I didn't even know I felt like this until you said it.

42points

ChibiSailorMercury Report

#16

Someone Asks “People Who Don’t Ever Want To Have Kids, Why?” And People Deliver 30 Honest Replies Lack of desire to become a parent or have kids.

You know how some people want kids so bad, they suffer mentally and emotionally from not having them or knowing they can't have them? How people say they feel hormonal, wanting kids real bad, they can't control it? Their ovaries are exploding? Baby fever? Or any other colloquialism about wanting to have a baby real soon?

Never had that. People kept telling me that as I'd grow older, would reach my 30s, find my soulmate, my friends start having children, etc., I would start to have that feeling. I went through all these milestones and I still EDIT don't have that desire for kids.

And I don't think it's necessary to have kids if one does not have the desire for it.

Final score:

128points

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De Gueb 3 years ago

This was the problem with my ex, she wanted Kids so badly it drove her crazy when she couldn't get pregnant. We tried very hard the traditional way, then with insemination and I.V. Ruined me financially and the broke the relationship. She couldn't accept that it, specially because in her family the woman, her sisters, aunts, cousins are like factories, they pop 'em out like hot bread!! She became emotionally abusive towards me, sometimes violent....I know she tried on her own after we broke up but she never got pregnant. Now I'm single in my early 50's I'm so grateful we never had a child, I meet so many single mothers with "forked up" relationships and children, growing up with bad blood everywhere, so sad.

35points

AllWomenAreQueens-_- , Tech Daily Report

Bored Panda also spoke with Zoë Noble, the creator of We Are Childfree, which is a storytelling platform celebrating childfree women and gender-diverse people. It helps to explore the experiences of childfree people and dispel the myths the world holds about them.

“Personally, I never felt the need to have children, but if I was born earlier, or elsewhere, I might not have had a choice in the matter,” Zoë said and added that: “Whatever people decide to do, it's important that they make a conscious choice that's right for them and the planet.”

#17

Someone Asks “People Who Don’t Ever Want To Have Kids, Why?” And People Deliver 30 Honest Replies Kids? In this economy?

No, I’ll just settle for my cat.

Final score:

110points

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Pilot Chick 3 years ago

I can’t afford to have a dog and people expect me to have kids

31points

ViridianNightshade , Allen Taylor Report

#18

Someone Asks “People Who Don’t Ever Want To Have Kids, Why?” And People Deliver 30 Honest Replies Children make me uncomfortable. With very few exceptions I find them creepy and weird and not at all attractive or emotionally appealing. Babies are generally hideous to me. They do not make me want to care for them, they make me want to get away from them as quickly as possible. I’d rather have someone hand me a tarantula.

I believe having children is a privilege not a right. Parents should have to prove they deserve that privilege instead of deciding hey now I should have a baby. You have to have a driving license and insurance to have a car. You should have to have a baby license and insurance to have a baby. It should be difficult.

Final score:

109points

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Carrie Laughs 3 years ago (edited)

I've always felt children should be seen as a gift. Right feels the wrong word, especially when there are people who simply cannot. It's like saying we all have a right to sight when there are blind people. Human rights state it like this: "Men and women of full age, without any limitation due to race, nationality or religion, have the right to marry and to found a family. They are entitled to equal rights as to marriage, during marriage and at its dissolution. Marriage shall be entered into only with the free and full consent of the intending spouses. The family is the natural and fundamental group unit of society and is entitled to protection by society and the State". Family is the right. Access to health care and support to endeavour for a child, yes.

14points

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

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When asked if she thinks that more and more people are choosing not to have children, Zoë said that it may be true, “but the main cause of falling birth rates are parents choosing to have fewer children.” Moreover, “Both choices are being influenced by financial insecurity, climate anxiety, greater access to contraception and, for women, to other opportunities in their life,” she added.

#19

Someone Asks “People Who Don’t Ever Want To Have Kids, Why?” And People Deliver 30 Honest Replies I want to do what I want, when I want.

Ghengiscone , Marvin Meyer Report

Final score:

94points

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Janus Preez 3 years ago

Until you're old and need someone to help you to do the things you want, when you want

1point

#20

Someone Asks “People Who Don’t Ever Want To Have Kids, Why?” And People Deliver 30 Honest Replies Whew, so many reasons.

I like my life how it is right now. Sleeping in, taking spontaneous trips, spending my money on myself. Having a kid means your entire life changes, and I don't want my life to change.

I don't want the responsibility. See #1.

I think that global warming and other factors mean the world won't be nice for too much longer; I don't want to force someone to live through that.

I don't like children for extended periods of time - I like kids and find them sweet and funny, but they are exhausting over long periods.

This is petty, but as a woman, I don't want the body changes that come with having a baby.

likeellewoods , minw Report

Final score:

88points

POST

Chicken Nugget 3 years ago

Not at all petty! Any reason is valid.

27points

Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics)

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And when it comes to dealing with societal pressure that so many childfree people unfortunately still experience, Zoë said finding like-minded people who support your decision is the way to cope with it.

“If you move to a big, progressive city like I did, you can find others who are living, or at least accepting of, alternative lifestyles—there are plenty of childfree people in Berlin! For other people who don't have supportive folk around them, there are more and more online communities—like mine!”

Moreover, “When you can openly and honestly discuss your feelings and decisions, in a judgement-free context, it's much easier to stand firm in your choices and love authentically,” she said.

#21

Someone Asks “People Who Don’t Ever Want To Have Kids, Why?” And People Deliver 30 Honest Replies As someone who wants to become an elementary school teacher, people are often shocked to find out I don't want children. But the reason is simple: they cost a LOT of money, they take op a lot of free time and space and I have terrible genes.

PearFickle , notethanun Report

Final score:

87points

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p a i n 3 years ago

I once asked my 6th grade teacher if she had any kids. She said “No, you guys are enough trouble for me.”

29points

#22

Someone Asks “People Who Don’t Ever Want To Have Kids, Why?” And People Deliver 30 Honest Replies It’s expensive and I don’t wanna pass on my genes in particular.

unknown , Katherine Chase Report

Final score:

85points

POST

denzoren 3 years ago

Yep, my genes are not ideal...other than probably having good eyesight...that's about it. Lol

6points

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“I think the future will see more people having fewer kids or none at all. Younger generations don't have the resources to support large families, and are more aware of the impact of that choice. And we're slowly making progress towards gender equality, with lots of (but not all) women now able to choose what they do with their lives.”

#23

Someone Asks “People Who Don’t Ever Want To Have Kids, Why?” And People Deliver 30 Honest Replies I personally don't want to put my body thru the trauma of growing and birthing a child/children, I can barely emotionally handle myself a lot of the time and don't want to risk passing on any of my mental illnesses to someone who didn't ask to be born, and they're overall a huge financial burden and with the pandemic having destroyed my personal finances, I will never be in a financial position to feel comfortable raising a child.

hmwhatshouldmynameb , all_who_wander Report

Final score:

80points

POST

Anna McHugh 3 years ago

A good, honest, realistic self-appraisal from someone who takes care of themselves and sees things straight - good on you!

16points

#24

Someone Asks “People Who Don’t Ever Want To Have Kids, Why?” And People Deliver 30 Honest Replies I and my wife are both financially decent off, mentally and physically healthy and could probably pull off kids without a problem as such.

We just don’t want to. We value our collective freedom to do what we want, whenever we want to — to travel, to hike up a mountain, to go surfing, et cetera — too much.

And no, we don’t get lonely, we have plenty of friends and we have our dogs that tag along for all activites :)

DINK life is pretty sweet.

magicbrou , Toa Heftiba Report

Final score:

80points

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Beth Dodd 3 years ago

My dad's sister never had any kids. Instead of contributing to the gene pool, she and my uncle both traveled the world researching family history instead.

9points

Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out

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So Zoë believes that it's inevitable that the childfree choice is becoming more popular, as people don't feel like they have access to, or are compelled towards, the traditional one-size-fits-all lifestyle of the heteronormative nuclear family. “Hopefully projects like mine can encourage people to embrace this change as a net good for the planet, instead of lashing out from a conservative, reactionary place. More people making conscious choices in their own interests can only be a good thing!”

#25

Complete lack of a support system. You know the saying “it takes a village to raise a child?” Well we have no village anymore. Unless you happen to live nearby family, no one is around to help, you’re on your own. (You know those harried mothers in supermarkets who have screaming wailing children and they just look so exhausted and done with life? I don’t want to be that person. I don’t want to feel that way, ever)

Money. I can barely support/ensure a future for myself, let alone a whole new human being with needs like diapers, medical visits, food, toys, etc. At 37 I’ve just started to be able to actually enjoy my life so throwing it all away because every cent needs to be spent on a kid is a recipe for mental health disaster.

Lack of body autonomy. As soon as that test is positive, your body is no longer your own. You are no longer a person, you are an incubator for “precious new life.” Doctor visits where you’re just out there for the world to see, people poking and prodding your “most secret” areas until they’re less of a secret and more of a billboard….then after you have the baby, the physical toll of giving more of yourself to feed it. I just can’t fathom that severe of a loss of self.

No sleep, constant exhaustion. I’m wiped enough working 8-5, doing a workout, cooking dinner and cleaning up after and all the other tasks of being an adult in a home, adding the additional lack of sleep and tasks of constantly keeping a child alive? I see it in peoples drawn faces and eye bags. Why would you want to invite that on yourself. (Also see lack of support system)

Kids destroy things. They make messes. I just was able to eke out a life for myself in a house and actually buy some new things and make it feel like I’m finally an adult…..for kids to ruin the couch I saved for or the tv I saved for would just be too much. Those are symbols of my hard work and accomplishments and you just destroyed it you little s—t, lol

Also I’m just scared of all the medical stuff. The things that can go wrong, the pain, the changes to your body, the pain, the recovery process (with or without anyone to help you), the pain…..

ParnsAngel Report

Final score:

77points

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renee brack 3 years ago

Touché, succinct, accurate, well said. It was like reading my own thoughts, feelings and life events. Especially about the couch. Or as I like to think of it - my living room throne where I can sit or recline while I wave my magic wand at the tv and transport myself to magical places with people I can change for others with another wave of my wand. Bliss.

10points

Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk

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#26

Someone Asks “People Who Don’t Ever Want To Have Kids, Why?” And People Deliver 30 Honest Replies My wife and I have tons of health issues, mental and physical, including chronic depression, crohns, epilepsy, etc.

The world is just a nasty place and there's no reason to bring a child into it anymore

Money and freedom to travel.

Kids are loud, gross, expensive and annoying and I like to sleep in and go anywhere and do anything on a dime.

Ddgraves , Lorna Mitchell Report

Final score:

70points

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Kay blue 3 years ago

I had my daughter before I was diagnosed with Crohn's, I spent her entire childhood worrying that she would also get it. If I had been diagnosed earlier, I wouldn't have chosen to pass on my seriously messed up genes. I would die for my daughter and couldn't imagine life without her, but that is because I have her.

12points

#27

Someone Asks “People Who Don’t Ever Want To Have Kids, Why?” And People Deliver 30 Honest Replies I love my niece and nephew too but after an entire day with them i really, really need some peace and quiet. If its your own kids, you dont get that. So i imagine that but 24/7 and i dont understand how people do it.

joacoleon , charleingracia Report

Final score:

66points

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Daphne Williams 3 years ago

I have three kids and I desperately need some peace and quiet XD. We do it by letting go of some of our sanity, permanently.

7points

watchforbicycles , Hillshire Farm Report

#28

Someone Asks “People Who Don’t Ever Want To Have Kids, Why?” And People Deliver 30 Honest Replies It's easier and cheaper being an aunt. Chase a toddler around a splash pad so that I can enjoy it too- nice. Same toddler is cranky- give it back to the parents. I might treat it to ice cream now and then but I don't have to worry about future school expenses. Etc, etc.

Final score:

57points

POST

Cristina Sacchi 3 years ago

Treat "it" to ice cream...

5points

"I Didn't Start The Dryer": Karen Gets Taught A Lesson After Throwing Out Neighbor's Wet Clothes

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#29

Someone Asks “People Who Don’t Ever Want To Have Kids, Why?” And People Deliver 30 Honest Replies That whole thing about your friends start having kids and it will make you want one. Funny thing was people around me having kids was the exact reason my 50/50 went to I don't want them. I can tolerate kids for short spans of time like I'll babysit but at the end of the day I don't have to deal with the stressful part of having kids( sickness, tantrums, money, etc.)

Tahtygirl , Aditya Romansa Report

Final score:

56points

POST

Caro Caro 3 years ago

I get this too.

6points

#30

I can barely go through my period without painkillers, I'll never manage to give birth. Also, I don't like kids, they're annoying.

dHomoSapien Report

Final score:

53points

POST

A_fangirling_Demigod_witch 2 years ago

they ARE annoying. 4-6 year olds are okay, but babies...ugh

0points

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#31

Someone Asks “People Who Don’t Ever Want To Have Kids, Why?” And People Deliver 30 Honest Replies I wouldn't make a good parent because of my hot temper.

I'm impatient and not good with people.

allnameswereusedup , Ashley Byrd Report

Final score:

23points

POST

denzoren 3 years ago

I have this fear too. Sometimes I get really annoyed with people when they're pushing my boundaries of personal space etc.

5points

“All Three Shot Out Pink”: Triplets' Baby Shower Turns Sour, Pregnant Wife Wants A Divorce

#32

Someone Asks “People Who Don’t Ever Want To Have Kids, Why?” And People Deliver 30 Honest Replies Because I believe that children deserve parents that will love them, always put them first, spend quality time with them and make sacrifices so that their children can have the best opportunities. But at the same time have the strength to set boundaries and discipline them in a healthy way so that they grow into good human beings.

Also because I don't currently have a partner or much financial stability in my life at this stage and I don't want to be a single parent or bring a child into the world if I'm not in a position to provide for them.

And I don't trust myself to be unselfish enough to be everything that I believe a child deserves. I sometimes catch myself thinking that children might be nice; but until I'm sure of myself, financially stable and in a steady relationship a child is unlikely to be in the picture.

vixterlkirby , Markus Spiske Report

Final score:

15points

POST

Kirsti-Tina Thompson 3 years ago

Am very similar to OP. All of the above and I don't think it will change in time for my biological clock.

2points

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College Student Does Exactly As Told After Roommates Demand They Keep Their Stuff In Their Room

#33

Someone Asks “People Who Don’t Ever Want To Have Kids, Why?” And People Deliver 30 Honest Replies I don’t want to give birth and go through all that.. Adoption is a long process and a lot of money that I don’t have. Kids are expensive

SinisterKiss_ , Janko Ferlič Report

Final score:

15points

POST

MagNat 2 years ago

God yes.

0points

#34

I could write you a book. Some of my reasons have changed over the years but the reasons were always valid.

First was tokophobia. I still suffer from tokophobia but I've worked hard over the years to get better (because I didn't want it to affect my relationships with friends and their children). I've come a long way but it's still there.

Then it was money.

Then it was just the realisation it wouldn't make me happy because I think I'd be resentful about putting a child's needs and desires before my own...and they deserve that.

But then I got ill. I now live with disability and chronic pain. Having just watched my best friend struggle with even a healthy pregnancy...i think a pregnancy would leave me with irreversible damage and pain. I would be unable to care for a baby afterwards. I would severely struggle as I am right now due to chronic fatigue and chronic pain. I wouldn't be surprised if I became wheelchair bound.

That sort of hammers home my previous reasons. Control over my body is leeching away as it is. I struggle to support myself. I would be miserable, and as my body and independence eroded away I would resent that poor child who didn't ask to be born.

It's not meant for me.

Hyzenthlay87 Report

Final score:

15points

POST

David Butler 3 years ago

TOKOPHOBIA: a morbid fear of childbirth or pregnancy.

1point

Liucija Adomaite is a creative mind with years of experience in copywriting. She has a dynamic set of experiences from advertising, academia, and journalism. This time, she has set out on a journey to investigate the ways in which we communicate ideas on a large scale. Her current mission is to find a magic formula for how to make ideas, news, and other such things spread like a virus.

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Denis is a photo editor at Bored Panda. After getting his bachelor's degree in Multimedia and Computer Design, he tried to succeed in digital design, advertising, and branding. Also, Denis really enjoys sports and loves everything related to board sports and water.

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What do you think ?

POST

Ozacoter 3 years ago

It is very important that society starts realising that many people, specially women, doesnt want children and that their choice is as valid as any. I have severe health problems and was denied a hysterectomy by 3 gynecologists "because younwill change your mind". First I was 30, I am not a child. Second I need it for medical reasons, would you say the same to an apendicits patient?. The last gyn convinced me to have a less effective surgery without telling me that afterwards pregnancy would be extremely dangerous for me (26% mortality, x3 chances of ectopic pregnancy...). Even with that he refused to sterilise me "because you will change your mind". He actively endangered my health to save a minimal chance of me having a healthy baby. Obviously the hospital board did nothing against him. I am just a dumb woman afterall only good as a walking uterus. My health is less important than my hypothetical children.

38points

Ozacoter 3 years ago

This happened in Belgium, a fairly advanced and feminist country. I cannot imagine how terrible it is for women in other more conservative countries.

25points

Vicky Z 3 years ago

Ozacoter every time you mention what you've been through with your medical history i become so mad! Hysterectomy is very difficult to perform in any country no matter how advanced it is unfortunately!! We have to be dying to remove it!!! And no their problem is not that we will change our mind! If that was the case they would give us a paper to sign and that's it!! The problem is that we will not fulfill our duty to the society! What's your purpose if you don't reproduce? It's really sad honestly i also have issues and don't want kids but i know I'll never find anyone to perform anything more drastic! I only hear the "advice" be patient and have a kid cause your period might be better afterwards! What if not? Can i return the child?

11points

Elmie Pumpkinbush 3 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

7points

T J R 3 years ago

After I delivered my daughter (I got pregnant while on birth control and never wanted kids) I asked to have my tubes tied. The gyn denied me saying I was too young and might change my mind. I was 27, I didn't want kids to begin with so why would I want more, the pregnancy was high-risk, and I almost died during childbirth. I asked every time I went to the gyn and everytime was told no. I switched doctors and they told me no, but only because I'm thin and it would cause early osteoporosis. They had me switch to an IUD that pretty much ensures I won't get pregnant again. Our body, our choice!!

6points

Aroha 3 years ago (edited)

Sorry you had to go through that. I am from one of the most gender equal countries in the world, yet if a married woman wants a hysterectomy/sterilisation, her husband must be asked first... The other way round, the wife is not asked for permission. This is clear from people's personal stories. The law says only that "the spouse" should be consulted, but still in reality the majority of doctors consider it only the female's holy responsibility in life to reproduce...

6points

Freya the Wanderer 3 years ago

If there is a Hell, I hope it holds an especially nasty place for the male chauvinists who won't perform hysterectomies except to save a woman's life.

5points

Alex Luiz 3 years ago

There is robust research showing the rate of sterilisation regret among women. The women least likely to regret it were those who had never had children.

5points

Sara Diogo 3 years ago

I just want to write here my support. It's crazy how hard it is to get a hysterectomy when we know we don't want kids but it's obscene that when there is a medical condition that makes it more necessary you aren't allowed. I wish you the best of luck.

5points

Random Panda 3 years ago

I am so sorry you had to go through that.

4points

Aaricia 3 years ago

So many women have that in the Netherlands too, it's disgusting.

3points

Louloubelle 3 years ago

I had endometriosis and when I finally had kids, I asked my doctor if I ended up with a c-section, can you just give me a hysterectomy. The guy said the same thing "you'll change your mind". What?! I was 40 - I just paid, out of pocket about $27,000 for IVF. Yeah, no way was I going to have more. I finally found a woman doctor, explained my history, and got my hysterectomy at 49. It had to be an abdominal one, because they had to scrape the endometrial tissue off all my organs. But, I too was just a "dumb woman" /s.

0points

Lovin' Life 3 years ago

I have 3 children, well adults now, and I love them with all my heart. I dont regret it at all. That being said, i dont understand trying to justify why you dont want kids. It's a choice that you make for yourself. You know you better than anyone. It shouldn't matter to others. It's not their lives. If you have kids just to be in the "norm" , then you're miserable and in turn so will your kids.

22points

Mette Stenersen 3 years ago

Do we really need a reason to not have kids? Well, I don't like kids, never have, never will.

17points

Vicky Z 3 years ago (edited)

The only proper answer to this question is : JUST BECAUSE! Period! No need for anyone to try to explain or even apologize! Honestly there are more questions as to why someone would want kids! It's not an easy job

13points

Jo Choto 3 years ago

Not having kids should be the default. I think it's far more important for people to consider why they DO want kids and to contemplate if it's a good idea, if they are suited for it, if they are ready for the sacrifices, and if they are willing to have the job for life (because amazingly, parenting responsibilities don't just magically stop when your kid turns 18).

10points

WilvanderHeijden 3 years ago

I've seen some really good reasons for not having children, but I've also seen very sad reasons for not having children. "Not being able to afford children" is something you expect as a reason for someone living in a dangerous backward area, without access to healthcare, proper education or decent food, not in a "developed" society.

9points

Frankenfrog 3 years ago

There are no bad reasons not to have children. WTF

-2points

SumoNinja 3 years ago

People who don't have children and are honest that they just didn't want them experience a lot of open hostility. That's why so many people feel compelled to lie about the reason. "We can't have kids" etc.

8points

Aliquid A 3 years ago

If you don't want kids, then don't have kids. No need to give a reason. Having a kid you don't want is bad for you and even worse for the kid. --- But at the same time, make sure you support people you know who do have kids, and support those children so they grow up to be effective members of society... because when you are old those kids will be adults running your community, and the quality of your community depends on them.

8points

Mystery Egg 3 years ago

For me, it's simple. I have just never had the desire to. It's hard for some people to understand such a simple answer, they usually want a more in depth one but for me there isn't one. Don't want them, never have, never will. That's it.

8points

Brian Bennett 3 years ago

I did not have children simply because I would not be a good mother. I thoroughly like other peoples kids. I think if more of us would realize this and not reproduce we would have less child abuse which is done mostly by parents. I find this completely abhorrent. People who don't want kids for any reason should have the intelligence not to go with the flow because you socially should have kids.

8points

Seán Baron 3 years ago

When I was sufficiently educated enough to talk about this, my initial reaction has always been no. I was horribly abused by my father, and then foster parents, childrens home staff etc etc. Then I realised I was gay and I'm sorry, I do not have anything to match baby puke. The also have depression, anxiety, Asperger's and I'm now HIV+. I don't mind holding babies, but I don't know how to engage with children. Plus I have enough trouble looking after my houseplants!

7points

Rens 3 years ago

You never owe anyone an explanation for why you want to make choices about your own life/body/lifestyle/etc

5points

Casey McAlister 3 years ago

No financial security, no desire to experience pregnancy and labor, no affection for kids, no interest in parenting. Honestly, I can't find absolutely any reason that could make me consider having children.

5points

Moo Moo Futch 3 years ago

I hate kids. I have no nieces or nephews and I actively go out of my way to avoid seeing friends who do have kids. I love animals. I love them deeply and i am fulfilled by that.

5points

Waterbaby 3 years ago

I have ADHD and bipolar. In the past year I've flooded my house 4 times and set it on fire 5 times. All accidentally. There's no way I'd be able to keep a little human alive. I can barely keep myself alive

5points

Chicken Nugget 3 years ago

I want a kid/kids but I have no desire to give birth. There are already enough kids in the world, and pregnancy ruins your body. I'm not vain (though that's just as valid a reason), I just don't want all the side effects.

5points

Christie McDermid 3 years ago

For me, it's cos it was never on my radar to begin with. I didn't play dollies as a kid, and no babies were born into my family (except my cousins who lived several countries away and we hardly saw them). In fact, the first time someone around me was pregnant was my teen cousin and it wasn't exactly met with much joy. So yeah, babies are just something I've never really been around, and have no desire for.

5points

Sanne H. 3 years ago

Are there any decent, non-selfish and non-religious reasons to have children?

5points

Random Panda 3 years ago

Just as it's not ok to question why people don't want children, it's not ok to ask why they do. Mind your business.

3points

Aroha 3 years ago (edited)

I have a recurring dream for more than 30 years: I am pregnant or have just had a baby, sometimes twins, and it is the worst feeling ever. I spend the whole dream just trying to give the baby away to anyone else because I know there has been a huge mistake. When I wake up, I am totally relieved, never even the tiniest bit disappointed that I don't have kids. Yeah, I am not having any children, ever 😅.

4points

Al Christensen 3 years ago

One of my siblings had eleven children. Another had nine and another had five. I figure they did more than enough reproducing to compensate for my intentional childlessness.

4points

Frankenfrog 3 years ago

Holy hell. Have they not heard of contraception

-1point

PurpleUnicorn 3 years ago

When I was growing up my family fostered babies; by the time I was 15 I'd changed enough nappies to last a lifetime and I didn't want kids. Still didn't want kids when I met my husband when I was 30. Despite my points that life would change unimaginably, I allowed myself to be persuaded. All through pregnancy I was ambivalent, thought I wouldn't mind if I miscarried. Love my daughter to hits but she's never been easy to manage. Then I was daft enough to have a second child, born with a genetic syndrome which just made life all the more difficult. I knew I wasn't cut out for parenthood and my biggest regret is allowing my husband to persuade me to go against my instincts...

4points

Elmie Pumpkinbush 3 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

1point

Dre Mosley 3 years ago

I'm an introvert who likes solitude and I don't want anyone encroaching on that. I don't even think I could tolerate a roommate, let alone children. Do I dislike kids, absolutely not, I just have no issue admitting that I'm not cut out for parenthood.

4points

Linda HS 3 years ago

Why I don't want kids? Have you seen the outside world?

4points

Treessimontrees 3 years ago

It shouldn't be why not. It should be why. I genuinely don't think most people I know should have had kids. It's like most people aren't cut out to be nurses or teachers. If it wasn't the norm I don't think most people would do it. I know that's a chicken and egg statement. But it seems people have kids as everyone does.

4points

Anna McHugh 3 years ago

I think humans are inherently flawed and that consciousness is a pretty miserable burden. It makes a hard life feel harder - in effect, we live our lives 'doubly'; once by doing the things, and again by being conscious of what we're doing. We suffer loneliness, pain, anxiety, and fear in the same double way. Nope, read Peter Wessel Zapfe's The Last Messiah and you'll see what I mean. We're a horrible biological paradox.

4points

Alex Luiz 3 years ago

I am not sure if this exactly belongs here, but I consider myself a feminist. However, most feminist spaces concentrate heavily on motherhood and breastfeeding, which I support and all, but don't really engage with. I wish we could separate motherhood from womanhood, the way men seem to have separate spaces for fatherhood and men's issues and interests. In my experience with female friends, motherhood totally consumes them and becomes the primary identity in a way that fatherhood doesn't seem to do to men. Therefore I think child free women have more of a cross to bear, because once they become mothers some of our friends become lost to us.

3points

renee brack 3 years ago

See? People who didn't / don't want kids are more honest than people who did / do. The lies I've heard ppl say about parenting are hilarious and tragic. But some people honestly love it. Some people also self-flagellate.

3points

MrOwlAteMyMetalWorm. 3 years ago (edited)

Forget kids,at this point I feel relationships are just as bad.I am done with humans,I don't want to have romantic relationships,they've wrecked everyone I know.I donot want to live long either.Just do a few things and DIE.

2points

Burs 3 years ago

Hugs

1point

Nice Parking 3 years ago (edited)

I don't want to do a child what my parents did to me. If I change my mind after I've reached my expiration date of being able to reproduce, I will adopt a child. There are too many children out there who don't have parental love in their lives and I don't feel its fair to bring another being into this world when I know I'm too selfish to do right by them. At this time, I'm too selfish to give a child what he/she/it deserves. I'm just being responsible. I'm 34. But when I'm ready, I'll skip the InVitro and instead adopt a parentless child. Not to mention, the world doesn't need anyone of my genes...

2points

Nice Parking 3 years ago (edited)

p.s. I love kids. I love my friends kids. I love that they don't come home with me and I'm not responsible for them. I like my freedom and I like that my friends have kids so I don't have to...

2points

marianne eliza 3 years ago (edited)

I come from a family of 4 kids. Birth years 1959 to 1966. We were all adopted in infancy but a few months old. We were rotten kids, put our parents through hell. Not a one of us has any kids at all. All of us have been or are married, 2 of the marriages are 30+ years. Maybe the late adoption. Maybe the threat of wait til you have kids of your own. Our poor 100% Italian mom, no grandkids.

2points

Enlee Jones 3 years ago

Nobody owes you an explanation of why they don’t want kids.

2points

Cosmetica Solist 3 years ago

As a happily pregnant woman whose really exited to be a parent with my partner, I understand and can relate to almost all of these. Not that you need to give a reason to not want kids - we should ask more people why they do want them. I'm glad that it's becoming more socially acceptable to not want children.

2points

Frankenfrog 3 years ago

So why would you willfully bring a child into a world that's going to shits? Why? What gives you the right to force life upon someone who never asked for it?

-1point

Jackie Warner 3 years ago

I don't have to give reasons.

1point

Nia Loves Art 3 years ago

If you don’t want children that’s fine. I have no opinion on that. What I don’t get is people who are tired of being judged for not wanting kids turning around and judging parents for having them.

1point

Frankenfrog 3 years ago

OH so it's okay for parents to belittle and judge child free people, but not for child free people to tell parents to shut the f up?

-1point

CbusResident 3 years ago

'You can't have a kid w/ the dystopian world we live in now!' Nonsense! 1. The developed world today has the least dystopian societies ever. Life expectancy is higher than ever. We have better healthcare tech than ever. Homophobia, racism and sexism were far worse issues decades and centuries back. 2. Yes there are problems, but when were there not? Many baby boomers were born less than 5 yrs after the Holocaust was still occurring & WMDs were dropped on Japan & many WW II other atrocities had occurred. Should they simply not have been born then? Would 1900 have been some wonderful time to have kids, when, in the US and most of the world, women couldn't vote, racist lynchings happened & people could be arrested for being LGBT (as they still are in some 3rd world countries)? Or would you want to have kids in 1800, when slavery was legal? By this logic humans would've long ago gone extinct. Should we all just kill ourselves b/c the planet still has some serious problems? Nonsense!

1point

Frankenfrog 3 years ago

Take your meds

-1point

suvani subba 3 years ago

Having a child is huge responsibility; both economy and mental wise. Having a child means keeping the child above myself, giving the child priority before mine necessities and requirements. I am just not ready for that responsibility; both economically and mentally. Thus, i do not want kids.

1point

Faith Hurst 3 years ago

Oh, you don't want kid so you seek out those liIke you? O, you don't want kids, so you seek out those like you? Exactly the same. Think for yourselves and be adults. You can do either and have what you want. Quit being assholes to each other. You aren't special just because mommy said you were. (Pull the irony thread there.)

1point

Marik 3 years ago

I stopped explaining myself in front of my grandma at 16 - I don't want my own children period. If can't use all the birth-control-utilities but I do my best to not get knocked up. On the other side I've gone through one abortion and if I get pregnant I won't go through a second one. Though, 10+ years ago has been a nasty life-situation. My parents (I love them) support me with/-out child and even admitted, that they got my brother and me way to early, they weren't ready and fu***ed up a great part of their and our life. Now they are the greatest adoptive grandparents you can imagine to the children of my brothers first (ex)girlfriend. They are happy, my brother is happy, I am happy. That's enough.

1point

Seabeast 3 years ago

How lucky we are to live in an age where we have a choice! 150+ years ago, a woman would have been pressured into marriage whether she wanted to or not, as "spinsters" had few options for supporting themselves. Lack of birth control meant you just kept getting pregnant and hoped you didn't die in childbirth or of pregnancy problems.

1point

Randolph Croft 3 years ago

My father was high-functioning autistic. He never really developed emotional attachments to anyone, not his parents, his wife or his kids. Pretty much the only life-form he ever loved was a cat. I'm a lot like him. I finally realized why my 'love life' was crap - I don't fall in love. Ever. I was married for 14 years to a woman a lot like my dad. She loved cats. I don't date anymore, now that I realize I don't actually care enough to make it work. If I'd had kids, in the same vein that I got married (everyone expected it of me) they'd be as damaged as I am. Not everyone should have children. There's no irony in my saying it, but my dad shouldn't have, really, either.

1point

NotMe 3 years ago

Too much money and time and resources on children that will most likely grow up to resent you as a parent. Not worth it.

1point

Peter Kelly 3 years ago

Simply, you need to be honest and realistic about yourself, your desires, and your abilities. I never had a great drive to have children and felt that I would be too impatient to devote the time and effort to raise children properly. In much the same way as I've never had the urge or time to build a yacht and I expect that it would not be very seaworthy if I did!

1point

Macaw 3 years ago

Take a look at the posts on the Facebook group called "I Regret Having Children" and you'll change your mind real fast into wanting to have kids.

1point

Daphne Williams 3 years ago

That's awful. I hope the people posting there are using aliases because Facebook is not private and what's posted on the internet lives forever.

3points

Helenium 3 years ago

it kills me that i cnt have kids and i cry a lot about it esp chrismtas, i just dont have the money but then you see kids being murdered by abusive parents ad im like how is this fair

1point

Frankenfrog 3 years ago

So you want kids that you can't afford? Absolutely selfish!

-2points

Fairsher 2 years ago

I have 3 older kids now and not once pressured them to make me a Grandma. I never question that subject much with them either. They will or won't have children has always been my thought and 2 of them did, just one is all they want and that is fine with me. It's no ones business who has or doesn't want children, there needs to be some who don't or we won't have room for anyone.

0points

Janet C 2 years ago

Because I don't want to. That's all the reason anyone else needs.

0points

Corey Adams 3 years ago

I wouldn't make the world deal with another me

0points

Lara Verne 3 years ago

All of the above.

0points

Lu Mxmo 3 years ago

Me and my husband have respiratory problems (allergy, asthma) and depression. We are still struggling to have our own home. Maybe, in the future, we adopt a children, if we have condition$ to raise he/she properly. But biological kids... no way.

0points

Julie 3 years ago (edited)

My child, which I had at age 43, made my entire existence make sense. I will always listen to those who proclaim they will not want, nor have a kid...but if you declare it ridiculous and have not...shut up. I lived the life, been to every place, had dinner with famous people, had love affairs, bought a house, been a pantyhose model, created paintings that were purchased, self indulged my entire life....but the kid, I created, made all that seem stupid. He taught me my worth., as an infant, taught me instantly who I am.

0points

Chris Troyano 3 years ago

I am 51 years old and never had the desire to have kids or be married. Call me selfish or whatever. I always saw myself parenting as the Captain did in the musical "The Sound of Music": Stern, strict, controlling, etc. I know how that upbringing affected me, I would not wish that on my offspring. (One of my fav movies, until I uncovered the real story of the von Trapp fam)...I digress..I have always seen myself as very independent person, doing my own thing, working and traveling internationally, meeting people along the way. At 21, I got Rheumatoid Arthritis (RA) quickly realized that I would never be able to care for a child: lifting them up, sitting on the floor with them, etc as the RA quickly spread throughout my body. Lucky for me, I didn't have this urge to have children, bc the RA would have limited how I could be there for a newborn/young one. Teaching children internationally, being of service fills me up. My path is challenging, but I love being of service to the world.

0points

Luna Lovebug 3 years ago

I never understood why I would need to defend my choice of not having kids. But it's something that's happens quite often. Colleague getting pregnant will always raise the question when it will be mine turn. Birthdays, family gatherings and such. Weddings. I don't know what the deal is. Yes, I have the age for it. And yes I am a woman. However that doesn't mean I'm looking to start a family. I usually just say that kids aren't for me, thank you for asking. But if that sparks the debate of how silly I'm being. And how I'm running out of time. And how could you not what kids. I just tell them straight up that I f*****g hate kids. (Which is true, but not socially acceptable to say) If you feel the need to go all Karen on me i sure as hell not going to sugarcoat it. Besides, with all the s**t going on in the world i feel it should be the other way around anyway. So Karen care to explain why you feel you needed 3 f*****g kids when the earth is already overpopulated. Was 1 not enough?

0points

Nina 3 years ago

I think it's quite sad that these people need to explain their choices at all. If you don't want kids, okay.

0points

Oogiebogieaugiedaddy 3 years ago

I am 66 and have a 45 year old son that I wish I never had! Anything and everything that has been bad in his life, according to him is my fault. He's hateful, selfish, thinks the world owes him something, is filthy, an alcoholic on and on and on. I honestly can't stand him. When he starts in with his mouth I tell I do not care and if life is so bad here please leave. But no, I'm going to be tortured until I take my last breath!!! I knew I would never make the mistake of having another kid and got fixed not long after having him!!!! So everyone on here that knows they do not want kids. You made the best decision ever!

0points

Limey 3 years ago

I never wanted kids and never changed my mind. I have not regretted that choice. The thing that bugs me is that people always ask “do you have children”? Firstly when you say no, you always (as a female anyway) feel like you have to justify the answer but worse is what if you had desperately wanted them and couldn’t have them, or like a friend of mine had a child and lost it to SIDS? That can be a painful question to have to answer. When it comes to having or not having kids, people should mind their own business.

0points

Quinn Alexander 3 years ago

I have pretty shitty genes I don't want to pass on, plus I'm very forgetful and careless and I can't fathom taking care of a whole other person.

0points

Ola Polowczyk 3 years ago

To people who want kids: Why?? Also: why do I have to explain myself?

0points

Rita Shapiro 3 years ago

No one has the right to tell any woman anywhere when, how often, or even whether they must reproduce. To do that is to deny them their autonomy and personal dignity. Plus children are horrid and I don't like being around them. And even though we're living in an Idiocracy right now, I really don't care if stupid people infest the planet with more cretins because we're already doomed by dumb-assery. We passed the tipping point a while ago.

0points

Louloubelle 3 years ago

I think a better question would have been, Why do you WANT children? So many people just get pregnant with no thought for the future. For a while I didn't want to have any. And then I did. I loved being around them. I loved their innocence. And then I couldn't have them, until I did IVF. Now I wish I could have had more than my 2 (twins). All that being said, a great many of these people that don't want them, would probably have been good parents. But I absolutely respect their desire to not have any.

0points

Johnny 3 years ago

For me, it was seeing one of the happiest married couples I know have their marriage degrade shortly after their first child (which was completely planned and they both wanted it). Wife started to resent having to give up her career and become a housewife, but also they didn't want to hire a nanny (which they could have afforded, he had a very good job). She became less happy in the marriage, then he became unhappy too and eventually they separated and divorced. I can't say 100% that having the child broke them up, but sure seems that way from the timing. My wife and I have no children and we are perfectly happy with that decision.

0points

Wayne Dorman 3 years ago

Tongue in cheek rant: People ask me when I'm having kids and they always seem shocked when I say I don't want them. On one hand, I'm not afraid to admit that it's because I don't want the responsibility and financial ruin for a mandatory sentence of 18 years. I've just finally broke through and started to make a viable living off my music career and having a child would mean giving that up. I like the freedom. I'm not afraid to admit that this part of my logic is totally selfish. On the other hand, I personally can't stand children, I don't like the noise, I don't like the smell and why are they always sticky? Furthermore, why do they always seem to like me so much? Am I really suitable father material as someone with zero paternal instincts acute anxiety and depression who hates children? Definitely not so it wouldn't be fair on the child. Also, I don't know who needs to hear this today but please stop trying to make people like me hold your baby, we really don't want to!

0points

AspieGirl88 3 years ago

I’ve been asked before by strangers why I can’t be a mother, as they assume I’m great with kids because I have 8 nieces/nephews. Honestly, though? It would be horribly wrong to bring a child into the world if you’re totally incapable of even caring for yourself ... that’s just one of the “excuses” I can use. It would actually be very dangerous for me, considering I am type 1 diabetic on insulin, on countless meds for other issues, have an ileostomy due to missing my large bowel (which also means I have a salt deficiency), plus my diet is complicated; not just for my ileostomy but also because I haven’t a single tooth. Believe it or not, all that is just the tip of the iceberg! 🤷‍♀️😅

0points

Gavin Johnson 3 years ago

Got a good reason not to have children? Got a bad reason not to have children? That’s enough, you only need a minor inkling that parenthood ain’t for you and that’s all you need, no need to justify yourself to anyone, it’s your life. Carry on as you were, find the things in life that bring you joy and have at it. Me? I’ve got a ten year old who is a joy and a light in my life, wouldn’t swap my life as a Dad for anything. Equally I won’t tell you that it’s what you should want, why would I? I don’t know what you are going through and I’ve not walked a mile in your boots.

0points

Si 3 years ago

I really think the world is going to get very bad very quickly now.

0points

Cosmetica Solist 3 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

Frankenfrog 3 years ago

I see the breeders are out in all their misery glory trying to defend their bad life choices

-2points

Odette Boisvert 3 years ago

WOW I don't really know where to start... it's ok if you you don't want to have kids BUT... in each and every response I sense the judgement of the feeling I had to have ones... maybe I didn't read it very well as my first language is not english but even if I agree with all of your reasons I feel ashamed that I've put two other humans on the planet... sorry...

-2points

Alex Luiz 3 years ago

Sorry, odette-i can't speak for everyone, but many child free folks are so used to having to defend our position that we can be a bit overzealous. Most of us don't object to children existing, we just wish we had the unquestioning acceptance for our choice that parents get.

2points

EVERLEIGH 3 years ago

I read a few but had to stop. I would reply to every single one of them and it pissed me off. Having the reason of not wanting them cause of many legit reasons but most of the reasons are just from pure 100% selfish reasons. If it wasn't for your parents wanting you, you wouldn't be here. If you don't want kids cause of whatever good reason, fine and I respect that, but some of these reasons are so wrong.

-3points

Burs 3 years ago

If it wasn’t for our parents having us many wouldn’t be abused, rapes, murdered, have chronic illnesses. Do you reallly want to play that card?

3points

Alex Luiz 3 years ago

None of us asked to be born, so that is a ridiculous argument.

3points

stacyh 3 years ago

No, not one of these answers is wrong. They’re all valid and frankly, none of your f*****g business anyway. And let’s be honest, having a child so you have a carbon copy of yourself running around, and being afraid of your bloodline not continuing, is truly the selfish thing. (Not saying all parents have children for these reasons)

0points

Goth mouse (they/them) 3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago

I hate them, in pretty much every way. Wouldn’t even want to be in the same room as one, let alone the same body.

4points

Elmie Pumpkinbush 3 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

2points

Sergio Bicerra Descalzi 3 years ago

I think many people here are just ranting, and remember emotions cannot be alwas be expressed by text, so what you percieve as hate may be just an honest calm answer. Have a nice day!

2points

ivan bolitekurac 3 years ago (edited)

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Alex Luiz 3 years ago

As a child-free person, I do get a bit over-zealous with my stance because I have to defend it all the time. I would imagine that that is how many contributors to this article feel, and it is nice to have something that puts our views out there. There are many articles that actively promote parenthood: why not the alternative?

5points

Marta Zientalak 3 years ago

I haven't noticed aggressive stance, this was just an article about why people don't want to have children, and it was people's opinions, not BP's. And it would be good if we would let people be, but somehow not having kids is treated by society as abnormal. Nobody is asking people "why did you decide to have children?" while childless people are being asked all the time when they will have kids or why don't they want to have a baby I am personally really tired of answering those questions and listening to "you will change your mind" or "but you would be such a good mother". And somehow nobody is letting me be, even my gynecologist. If people with kids would be treated the same way, I am sure that there would be an article on BP about why people want children.

4points

Frankenfrog 3 years ago

Because we're constantly chastised for our choice? No one ever questions breeders, but child free people are SELFISH MONSTERS because we don't want to be miserable like you

0points

Elmie Pumpkinbush 3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

ADHORTATOR 3 years ago

We have two children, my wife is a teacher and did not stop working - and having a child is not "producing" . There are also abusive mothers....

3points

Elmie Pumpkinbush 3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Potato 3 years ago

Quick question: why are you here? You clearly think the end of times is upon us, so why bother?

-1point

Frankenfrog 3 years ago

Again, breeders downvoting you because they hate the truth.

-3points

POST

Ozacoter 3 years ago

38points

Ozacoter 3 years ago

This happened in Belgium, a fairly advanced and feminist country. I cannot imagine how terrible it is for women in other more conservative countries.

25points

Vicky Z 3 years ago

11points

Elmie Pumpkinbush 3 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

7points

T J R 3 years ago

6points

Aroha 3 years ago (edited)

6points

Freya the Wanderer 3 years ago

If there is a Hell, I hope it holds an especially nasty place for the male chauvinists who won't perform hysterectomies except to save a woman's life.

5points

Alex Luiz 3 years ago

There is robust research showing the rate of sterilisation regret among women. The women least likely to regret it were those who had never had children.

5points

Sara Diogo 3 years ago

5points

Random Panda 3 years ago

I am so sorry you had to go through that.

4points

Aaricia 3 years ago

So many women have that in the Netherlands too, it's disgusting.

3points

Louloubelle 3 years ago

0points

Lovin' Life 3 years ago

22points

Mette Stenersen 3 years ago

Do we really need a reason to not have kids? Well, I don't like kids, never have, never will.

17points

Vicky Z 3 years ago (edited)

13points

Jo Choto 3 years ago

10points

WilvanderHeijden 3 years ago

9points

Frankenfrog 3 years ago

There are no bad reasons not to have children. WTF

-2points

SumoNinja 3 years ago

8points

Aliquid A 3 years ago

8points

Mystery Egg 3 years ago

8points

Brian Bennett 3 years ago

8points

Seán Baron 3 years ago

7points

Rens 3 years ago

You never owe anyone an explanation for why you want to make choices about your own life/body/lifestyle/etc

5points

Casey McAlister 3 years ago

5points

Moo Moo Futch 3 years ago

I hate kids. I have no nieces or nephews and I actively go out of my way to avoid seeing friends who do have kids. I love animals. I love them deeply and i am fulfilled by that.

5points

Waterbaby 3 years ago

5points

Chicken Nugget 3 years ago

5points

Christie McDermid 3 years ago

5points

Sanne H. 3 years ago

Are there any decent, non-selfish and non-religious reasons to have children?

5points

Random Panda 3 years ago

Just as it's not ok to question why people don't want children, it's not ok to ask why they do. Mind your business.

3points

Aroha 3 years ago (edited)

4points

Al Christensen 3 years ago

One of my siblings had eleven children. Another had nine and another had five. I figure they did more than enough reproducing to compensate for my intentional childlessness.

4points

Frankenfrog 3 years ago

Holy hell. Have they not heard of contraception

-1point

PurpleUnicorn 3 years ago

4points

Elmie Pumpkinbush 3 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

1point

Dre Mosley 3 years ago

4points

Linda HS 3 years ago

Why I don't want kids? Have you seen the outside world?

4points

Treessimontrees 3 years ago

4points

Anna McHugh 3 years ago

4points

Alex Luiz 3 years ago

3points

renee brack 3 years ago

3points

MrOwlAteMyMetalWorm. 3 years ago (edited)

2points

Burs 3 years ago

Hugs

1point

Nice Parking 3 years ago (edited)

2points

Nice Parking 3 years ago (edited)

p.s. I love kids. I love my friends kids. I love that they don't come home with me and I'm not responsible for them. I like my freedom and I like that my friends have kids so I don't have to...

2points

marianne eliza 3 years ago (edited)

2points

Enlee Jones 3 years ago

Nobody owes you an explanation of why they don’t want kids.

2points

Cosmetica Solist 3 years ago

2points

Frankenfrog 3 years ago

So why would you willfully bring a child into a world that's going to shits? Why? What gives you the right to force life upon someone who never asked for it?

-1point

Jackie Warner 3 years ago

I don't have to give reasons.

1point

Nia Loves Art 3 years ago

1point

Frankenfrog 3 years ago

OH so it's okay for parents to belittle and judge child free people, but not for child free people to tell parents to shut the f up?

-1point

CbusResident 3 years ago

1point

Frankenfrog 3 years ago

Take your meds

-1point

suvani subba 3 years ago

1point

Faith Hurst 3 years ago

1point

Marik 3 years ago

1point

Seabeast 3 years ago

1point

Randolph Croft 3 years ago

1point

NotMe 3 years ago

Too much money and time and resources on children that will most likely grow up to resent you as a parent. Not worth it.

1point

Peter Kelly 3 years ago

1point

Macaw 3 years ago

Take a look at the posts on the Facebook group called "I Regret Having Children" and you'll change your mind real fast into wanting to have kids.

1point

Daphne Williams 3 years ago

That's awful. I hope the people posting there are using aliases because Facebook is not private and what's posted on the internet lives forever.

3points

Helenium 3 years ago

it kills me that i cnt have kids and i cry a lot about it esp chrismtas, i just dont have the money but then you see kids being murdered by abusive parents ad im like how is this fair

1point

Frankenfrog 3 years ago

So you want kids that you can't afford? Absolutely selfish!

-2points

Fairsher 2 years ago

0points

Janet C 2 years ago

Because I don't want to. That's all the reason anyone else needs.

0points

Corey Adams 3 years ago

I wouldn't make the world deal with another me

0points

Lara Verne 3 years ago

All of the above.

0points

Lu Mxmo 3 years ago

0points

Julie 3 years ago (edited)

0points

Chris Troyano 3 years ago

0points

Luna Lovebug 3 years ago

0points

Nina 3 years ago

I think it's quite sad that these people need to explain their choices at all. If you don't want kids, okay.

0points

Oogiebogieaugiedaddy 3 years ago

0points

Limey 3 years ago

0points

Quinn Alexander 3 years ago

I have pretty shitty genes I don't want to pass on, plus I'm very forgetful and careless and I can't fathom taking care of a whole other person.

0points

Ola Polowczyk 3 years ago

To people who want kids: Why?? Also: why do I have to explain myself?

0points

Rita Shapiro 3 years ago

0points

Louloubelle 3 years ago

0points

Johnny 3 years ago

0points

Wayne Dorman 3 years ago

0points

AspieGirl88 3 years ago

0points

Gavin Johnson 3 years ago

0points

Si 3 years ago

I really think the world is going to get very bad very quickly now.

0points

Cosmetica Solist 3 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

Frankenfrog 3 years ago

I see the breeders are out in all their misery glory trying to defend their bad life choices

-2points

Odette Boisvert 3 years ago

-2points

Alex Luiz 3 years ago

2points

EVERLEIGH 3 years ago

-3points

Burs 3 years ago

If it wasn’t for our parents having us many wouldn’t be abused, rapes, murdered, have chronic illnesses. Do you reallly want to play that card?

3points

Alex Luiz 3 years ago

None of us asked to be born, so that is a ridiculous argument.

3points

stacyh 3 years ago

0points

Goth mouse (they/them) 3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago

I hate them, in pretty much every way. Wouldn’t even want to be in the same room as one, let alone the same body.

4points

Elmie Pumpkinbush 3 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

2points

Sergio Bicerra Descalzi 3 years ago

I think many people here are just ranting, and remember emotions cannot be alwas be expressed by text, so what you percieve as hate may be just an honest calm answer. Have a nice day!

2points

ivan bolitekurac 3 years ago (edited)

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Alex Luiz 3 years ago

5points

Marta Zientalak 3 years ago

4points

Frankenfrog 3 years ago

Because we're constantly chastised for our choice? No one ever questions breeders, but child free people are SELFISH MONSTERS because we don't want to be miserable like you

0points

Elmie Pumpkinbush 3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

ADHORTATOR 3 years ago

We have two children, my wife is a teacher and did not stop working - and having a child is not "producing" . There are also abusive mothers....

3points