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Someone Asks “People Who Don’t Ever Want To Have Kids, Why?” And People Deliver 30 Honest Replies

Family life in the Western parts of the world is changing: cohabitation is rising and childbearing is plummeting. More and more people are now opting for voluntary childlessness, a conscious decision to not have children despite the pervasive societal expectations, which are especially hard on women.

But despite the outdated views of a fulfilled family that sees kids as a crucial part of its equation, a life without children is the new normal. So when a redditor who goes by Foxscream posted the question “People who don’t ever want to have kids, why?” people had a lot to say about this topic.

The thread offers a fresh and much-needed perspective on what makes people not want to have children, and it’s a very important read for anyone who’s still skeptical about being childfree by choice.

This post may include affiliate links.

Someone Asks “People Who Don’t Ever Want To Have Kids, Why?” And People Deliver 30 Honest Replies I'm lazy. I like my free time. I like money (well, the little I have!). I like sleep. I've also just never had the instinct in me to want kids. I feel complete without them.

Plus it's scary enough worrying about my own future, let alone the future of miniature humans I am responsible for bringing into the world. Rather give it a miss.

Concerned-Pineapple , Wendelin Jacober Report

Final score:

422points

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Laura 3 years ago

Did I write this while sleeping? 😂. I hate when people say "it's different with your own kids" or "you would be a great mum". Nooo, motherhood is not for me and it would make me deeply unhappy. People need to deal with the fact that we are women, not walking wombs. We don't dry and die if we don't "fulfill" our "purpose". I have lots of better things to do, like learn archery😊

152points

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Someone Asks “People Who Don’t Ever Want To Have Kids, Why?” And People Deliver 30 Honest Replies In psych class we learned about a study where they separated monkeys from their mothers at birth. The monkeys grew to be anxious and twitchy. When those monkeys had their own kids, the mothers didn't know how to care for them. I was raised horribly so I don't know how to raise someone well. My parents had children even though their parents abused them. My grandparents' parents probably also abused them. I'm just cutting off the cycle.

Spencer2091 , Lucas Metz Report

Final score:

365points

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tiari 3 years ago (edited)

I am so damn happy my mom broke the cycle of abuse. No idea how she did it, but she did amazing. I would understand it perfectly if she decided against having kids (except of course I would not exist). I am not sure I would have had the courage if I were in her place. And I honestly think my aunt/her sister never should have had kids. My cousins think so too btw.

99points

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Since childfree life has become a much-discussed topic these days, Bored Panda reached out to three amazing childfree women, Colombia-based Isabel, Kristen from the US, and LeNora from Canada, who run the project Childfree Girls, a podcast and web series for the childfree community.

When asked if more people are opting for a childfree life, the Childfree Girls said that even though global fertility rates have been falling in the past few years, it would be hard to state that more and more people are opting for a childfree life.

“We believe that what has been happening is that more people are openly talking about their choice to not become parents, so it might give the impression that more people are choosing to not have kids. The childfree choice is not a new choice, but it is certainly a lot easier to express it nowadays than it was a few decades ago, let alone a few centuries ago,” they explained.

Someone Asks “People Who Don’t Ever Want To Have Kids, Why?” And People Deliver 30 Honest Replies My life is complete without children. Plus, I'd rather just stick to cats.

Merri-Weather , Kari Shea Report

Final score:

296points

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Katie Lutesinger 3 years ago

With me it's my pet rats. I guess you gotta have something to love and fuss over and worry about, even if it's not kids!

36points

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Someone Asks “People Who Don’t Ever Want To Have Kids, Why?” And People Deliver 30 Honest Replies For me its the myriad of mental disorders i have, i dont want to pass that on to another human being, much less my own child

gyffer , John Report

Final score:

277points

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Ember 3 years ago

Living with Bipolar Disorder has been a constant struggle and I knew that I could never put anyone through the same. I knew that I’d rather not have biological children at all than have to watch them go through the same daily nightmares.

34points

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There are many reasons behind choosing a childfree life, and they’re all specific to each person, the authors of Childfree Girls told us. They continued: “These include lack of a support system, lack of a permanent romantic partner, environmental concerns, medical issues, lack of financial stability, exposure to danger or risk (in war zones, for example), personal beliefs, among many others.” Moreover, “Some people just don’t want to be parents, period.” Essentially, “All reasons are valid reasons,” they explained.

Someone Asks “People Who Don’t Ever Want To Have Kids, Why?” And People Deliver 30 Honest Replies I have two boys, and I love them, but boy do I wish I hadn't had them. Whether it be political, climatic, or economical, their future doesn't look too bright, and my whole life is now dedicated to making sure I can be around and financially available to help them in a cutthroat world.

MrCakesSr , kevingent Report

Final score:

238points

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Michelle Cunningham 3 years ago

Thank you for your honesty, I think a lot of parents feel the same way but are afraid to say it. It doesn't mean you don't love your children, it just means you are human. Kids are such a huge, overwhelming responsibility.

99points

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Someone Asks “People Who Don’t Ever Want To Have Kids, Why?” And People Deliver 30 Honest Replies Freedom. My husband and I would probably be pretty good parents and we’re in a good spot financially, but we feel complete with each other. We have fun together and want to spend the rest of our lives without the responsibility and stress of kids.

billieaspen515 , averieclaire Report

Final score:

213points

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Caro Caro 3 years ago

Every reason is a reason!

31points

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There are many misconceptions about people who choose not to have kids in this society. So when asked how childfree people deal with societal pressure, Childfree Girls said that people cope in different ways for any number of reasons, and childfree folk are not the exception. “Unfortunately, we live in a pronatalist world, so many of us do feel pressured to have kids a lot of the time.”

“There isn’t one specific way to deal with societal pressure, and some people have a better grasp on this than others. In general terms, we believe that when childfree people are totally accepting of their own choice and have a healthy amount of self-love and self-confidence, it comes naturally to not be too adversely affected by the criticism (blatant or subtle) that might come from family, friends, co-workers, news articles, TV shows, movies, magazines, etc.”

Someone Asks “People Who Don’t Ever Want To Have Kids, Why?” And People Deliver 30 Honest Replies I just have no desire. I don’t hate kids, I love my Nieces and Nephews and have a great time being an influential part of their life. However, that means that I also see how difficult and stressful it is to raise kids. I understand that people really love it and it’s worth it to them, but that’s just not me.

I_have_stuffs_to_add , Piron Guillaume Report

Final score:

197points

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Otter 3 years ago

Practical reasons aside, I've never for one moment of my life wanted to have any. That's an unassailable reason in itself.

49points

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Someone Asks “People Who Don’t Ever Want To Have Kids, Why?” And People Deliver 30 Honest Replies Have you seen the world out there? I mean several generations have already looked at serious looming problems and said, "but the children are our future! They'll fix it!"

Within my lifetime I've seen climate change go from "global warming" and very mild changes to once-in-a-century environmental events happening every year.

The boomers kept saying that one day the younger generations will be in charge and they'd deal with it then, but even now the boomers are a massive proportion of the voting population with it only being 3 years since Millenials have outnumbered them.

It's time to stop making more people until we can fix the problems we're causing.

DJCorvid , Jospeee P Report

Final score:

197points

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Chich 3 years ago

Gotta get out and vote! Seems like older folks do and younger folks don't. You got the numbers, us them.

7points

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According to Childfree Girls, some people might decide not to engage at all and let it slide. “Others see these moments as opportunities to have a conversation with others about how parenthood is a choice” they said and added that “The important thing to remember is that we do not owe an explanation, nor do we need to justify our choice to anyone.”

It's also important to note that childfree people get called “selfish” a lot, and this is a huge misconception. “We believe that understanding that we are not selfish, but self-aware, is the first step to deal with societal pressure,” the authors of Childfree Girls said. “There is nothing inherently selfish about choosing not to reproduce. There is, however, something incredibly selfish about demanding others reproduce in order to satisfy one's own ideas or beliefs about who should be creating more people.”

Someone Asks “People Who Don’t Ever Want To Have Kids, Why?” And People Deliver 30 Honest Replies I find them very annoying

SacredO1927 , profwicks Report

Final score:

192points

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beastmachine. 3 years ago

This!

47points

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#10

Someone Asks “People Who Don’t Ever Want To Have Kids, Why?” And People Deliver 30 Honest Replies Oh SO many reasons. Where to begin.

I am a woman, which means 100% of the physical aspects of pregnancy (extreme nausea, discomfort, pain, hormone imbalances, etc) and then labor which is widely recognized as one of the single most painful things the body can go through. Then once the baby is born you feed it with your boobs, and in many cases are the main caretaker, emotional support, time manager, cook, maid, and breadwinner for that human. I simply do not want to do ANY of that. For me personally, pregnancy and birth is the equivalent of body horror like the Saw movies, or most aptly, Alien!

I grew up in a very culty evangelical church in the midst of Mormon Utah. So EVERYONE around has super conservative traditional values and woman’s sole purpose in life is to squeeze out kids. Not to have hopes and aspirations, careers, or anything like that. If you’re a woman where I’m from, you have to make your dream around having kids. You are only a womb and you must be owned by a man.

I have a sensory processing disorder that makes me get very overwhelmed pretty easily. Kids are noisy and messy and stinky and fragile. And while I like kids, en masse they are REALLY hard for me to be around.

Nothing about being a parent whatsoever appeals to me. I simply don’t want to do any of that. I absolutely love being able to go anywhere and do anything on a whim and I love my alone time.

I have more than my share of physical and mental disorders I would never wish on another human.

There are millions of orphans in the world - what about ME and my genes is so special that I have to create an entire new human from scratch? The world doesn’t need more people. I’m curious actually many people find making their own babies more important giving a home to child in need? (Not trying to be a dick or accusatory - genuinely curious. I know couples who’ve spent tens of thousands of dollars on fertility treatments when that money could’ve just as easily gone to adopting a child.)

FOR THE RECORD: this is solely my opinion. I don’t expect anyone to feel the same and I’m happy for people who love kids and want to have their own.

hashslingaslah , Jake Melara Report

Final score:

186points

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Ren Karlej 3 years ago

I wanted to adopt but then my health went awry and it wouldn't be fair, let alone likely that I would have been given the go ahead.

26points

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At this point, the Childfree Girls believe that there will be more people who choose not to have children. “We’re already seeing this choice being more prevalent in people from Gen Z, who are, in general, a lot more vocal about the things that they want, what they don’t want, and what they believe in.”

“Younger generations display a growing concern for environmental, social, economic, and political issues, some of which could be alleviated or resolved by a decrease in human population. For example, in the past few years, several reports from international organizations about the reduction of the carbon footprint have been published.”

“One of these studies’ main conclusion was that the greatest impact in fighting climate change is to have one fewer child, which in some countries translates to having none (Environmental Research Letters, 2017).”

#11

Someone Asks “People Who Don’t Ever Want To Have Kids, Why?” And People Deliver 30 Honest Replies I dont even know if I will have a future myself. It feels selfish to bring a child into this world at this current state.

didi_0920 , Denkrahm Report

Final score:

176points

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Id row 3 years ago

And the entitlement epidemic is only getting worse every year. Even if you don't raise your kid to be like that, the internet and their peers will gladly fill the void.

6points

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#12

I don’t see the point. There are enough kids on the planet, and I don’t think I’m so precious that I need to replicate my genes. Honestly, I’ve never met anyone who is.

throwawaygrosso Report

Final score:

158points

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Raf A El 3 years ago

Amen!!!

24points

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However, more than believing that childfree life is the future, Childfree Girls hope that in the future, people take more time to really reflect on the choice to become a parent. It’s important to realize that “bringing a child into this world is a huge responsibility and it takes a big commitment to raise happy and loved human beings. To introduce and rear a new human being because of pressure, and not out of a genuine, conscious desire, is tragic for everyone involved,” they said.

#13

Someone Asks “People Who Don’t Ever Want To Have Kids, Why?” And People Deliver 30 Honest Replies I was parentified as child to my 4 younger siblings. When I see a child now, I act nice but cannot wait to get away from it.

A child crying/screaming immediatly puts me in a angry/foul mood for the rest of the day.

I had my share of caring for kids, and have next to nothing positive come out of it...

codegamer1 Report

Final score:

148points

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Heather Menard 3 years ago

Just walk into a Walmart and you will never want children

41points

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#14

Someone Asks “People Who Don’t Ever Want To Have Kids, Why?” And People Deliver 30 Honest Replies So I'm super late to the party (as usual) but maybe one person will see this. I grew up with an abusive father. Sadly, I see myself acting like him way too much. I really hate it. I know that when I raise my voice at my mum she thinks I'm just like my father. If I ever get kids I'd mess them up. I'll be just as bad of a parent as he was and I don't want to be someone who brings this kid into the world just to end up f**king them up.

bruuuuuuuuuceee , Tim Massey Report

Final score:

147points

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Assaj Ventress 3 years ago

You are very brave and very insightful and I commend you for such a wise decision- you can’t change how your father treated you but you’re taking responsibility anyway and I have so much respect

50points

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#15

Someone Asks “People Who Don’t Ever Want To Have Kids, Why?” And People Deliver 30 Honest Replies I’d love to if I could be a father. Motherhood asks you to sacrifice everything from your body to identity to even your life for your child (my mom almost died in childbirth). I love my body, my financial freedom, my career, my relationship, and the cleanliness and silence of my home. I refuse to give any of that up for a child I know I would resent for upheaving my life.

I firmly believe that unless you have daydreams about having children and know you ABSOLUTELY want to have them, do NOT have them. They are not something you can feel ambivalent about. They are the ultimate lifestyle change and anyone saying otherwise is lying.

swiggityswootoot , kelli_mcclintock Report

Final score:

145points

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Erdot 3 years ago

This is spot on. I didn't even know I felt like this until you said it.

42points

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#16

Someone Asks “People Who Don’t Ever Want To Have Kids, Why?” And People Deliver 30 Honest Replies Lack of desire to become a parent or have kids.

You know how some people want kids so bad, they suffer mentally and emotionally from not having them or knowing they can't have them? How people say they feel hormonal, wanting kids real bad, they can't control it? Their ovaries are exploding? Baby fever? Or any other colloquialism about wanting to have a baby real soon?

Never had that. People kept telling me that as I'd grow older, would reach my 30s, find my soulmate, my friends start having children, etc., I would start to have that feeling. I went through all these milestones and I still EDIT don't have that desire for kids.

And I don't think it's necessary to have kids if one does not have the desire for it.

ChibiSailorMercury Report

Final score:

128points

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De Gueb 3 years ago

This was the problem with my ex, she wanted Kids so badly it drove her crazy when she couldn't get pregnant. We tried very hard the traditional way, then with insemination and I.V. Ruined me financially and the broke the relationship. She couldn't accept that it, specially because in her family the woman, her sisters, aunts, cousins are like factories, they pop 'em out like hot bread!! She became emotionally abusive towards me, sometimes violent....I know she tried on her own after we broke up but she never got pregnant. Now I'm single in my early 50's I'm so grateful we never had a child, I meet so many single mothers with "forked up" relationships and children, growing up with bad blood everywhere, so sad.

35points

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Bored Panda also spoke with Zoë Noble, the creator of We Are Childfree, which is a storytelling platform celebrating childfree women and gender-diverse people. It helps to explore the experiences of childfree people and dispel the myths the world holds about them.

“Personally, I never felt the need to have children, but if I was born earlier, or elsewhere, I might not have had a choice in the matter,” Zoë said and added that: “Whatever people decide to do, it's important that they make a conscious choice that's right for them and the planet.”

#17

Someone Asks “People Who Don’t Ever Want To Have Kids, Why?” And People Deliver 30 Honest Replies Kids? In this economy?

No, I’ll just settle for my cat.

AllWomenAreQueens-_- , Tech Daily Report

Final score:

110points

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Pilot Chick 3 years ago

I can’t afford to have a dog and people expect me to have kids

31points

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#18

Someone Asks “People Who Don’t Ever Want To Have Kids, Why?” And People Deliver 30 Honest Replies Children make me uncomfortable. With very few exceptions I find them creepy and weird and not at all attractive or emotionally appealing. Babies are generally hideous to me. They do not make me want to care for them, they make me want to get away from them as quickly as possible. I’d rather have someone hand me a tarantula.

I believe having children is a privilege not a right. Parents should have to prove they deserve that privilege instead of deciding hey now I should have a baby. You have to have a driving license and insurance to have a car. You should have to have a baby license and insurance to have a baby. It should be difficult.

ViridianNightshade , Allen Taylor Report

Final score:

109points

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Carrie Laughs 3 years ago (edited)

I've always felt children should be seen as a gift. Right feels the wrong word, especially when there are people who simply cannot. It's like saying we all have a right to sight when there are blind people. Human rights state it like this: "Men and women of full age, without any limitation due to race, nationality or religion, have the right to marry and to found a family. They are entitled to equal rights as to marriage, during marriage and at its dissolution. Marriage shall be entered into only with the free and full consent of the intending spouses. The family is the natural and fundamental group unit of society and is entitled to protection by society and the State". Family is the right. Access to health care and support to endeavour for a child, yes.

14points

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When asked if she thinks that more and more people are choosing not to have children, Zoë said that it may be true, “but the main cause of falling birth rates are parents choosing to have fewer children.” Moreover, “Both choices are being influenced by financial insecurity, climate anxiety, greater access to contraception and, for women, to other opportunities in their life,” she added.

#19

Someone Asks “People Who Don’t Ever Want To Have Kids, Why?” And People Deliver 30 Honest Replies I want to do what I want, when I want.

Ghengiscone , Marvin Meyer Report

Final score:

94points

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Janus Preez 3 years ago

Until you're old and need someone to help you to do the things you want, when you want

1point

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#20

Someone Asks “People Who Don’t Ever Want To Have Kids, Why?” And People Deliver 30 Honest Replies Whew, so many reasons.

I like my life how it is right now. Sleeping in, taking spontaneous trips, spending my money on myself. Having a kid means your entire life changes, and I don't want my life to change.

I don't want the responsibility. See #1.

I think that global warming and other factors mean the world won't be nice for too much longer; I don't want to force someone to live through that.

I don't like children for extended periods of time - I like kids and find them sweet and funny, but they are exhausting over long periods.

This is petty, but as a woman, I don't want the body changes that come with having a baby.

likeellewoods , minw Report

Final score:

88points

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Chicken Nugget 3 years ago

Not at all petty! Any reason is valid.

27points

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And when it comes to dealing with societal pressure that so many childfree people unfortunately still experience, Zoë said finding like-minded people who support your decision is the way to cope with it.

“If you move to a big, progressive city like I did, you can find others who are living, or at least accepting of, alternative lifestyles—there are plenty of childfree people in Berlin! For other people who don't have supportive folk around them, there are more and more online communities—like mine!”

Moreover, “When you can openly and honestly discuss your feelings and decisions, in a judgement-free context, it's much easier to stand firm in your choices and love authentically,” she said.

#21

Someone Asks “People Who Don’t Ever Want To Have Kids, Why?” And People Deliver 30 Honest Replies As someone who wants to become an elementary school teacher, people are often shocked to find out I don't want children. But the reason is simple: they cost a LOT of money, they take op a lot of free time and space and I have terrible genes.

PearFickle , notethanun Report

Final score:

87points

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p a i n 3 years ago

I once asked my 6th grade teacher if she had any kids. She said “No, you guys are enough trouble for me.”

29points

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#22

Someone Asks “People Who Don’t Ever Want To Have Kids, Why?” And People Deliver 30 Honest Replies It’s expensive and I don’t wanna pass on my genes in particular.

unknown , Katherine Chase Report

Final score:

85points

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denzoren 3 years ago

Yep, my genes are not ideal...other than probably having good eyesight...that's about it. Lol

6points

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“I think the future will see more people having fewer kids or none at all. Younger generations don't have the resources to support large families, and are more aware of the impact of that choice. And we're slowly making progress towards gender equality, with lots of (but not all) women now able to choose what they do with their lives.”

#23

Someone Asks “People Who Don’t Ever Want To Have Kids, Why?” And People Deliver 30 Honest Replies I personally don't want to put my body thru the trauma of growing and birthing a child/children, I can barely emotionally handle myself a lot of the time and don't want to risk passing on any of my mental illnesses to someone who didn't ask to be born, and they're overall a huge financial burden and with the pandemic having destroyed my personal finances, I will never be in a financial position to feel comfortable raising a child.

hmwhatshouldmynameb , all_who_wander Report

Final score:

80points

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Anna McHugh 3 years ago

A good, honest, realistic self-appraisal from someone who takes care of themselves and sees things straight - good on you!

16points

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#24

Someone Asks “People Who Don’t Ever Want To Have Kids, Why?” And People Deliver 30 Honest Replies I and my wife are both financially decent off, mentally and physically healthy and could probably pull off kids without a problem as such.

We just don’t want to. We value our collective freedom to do what we want, whenever we want to — to travel, to hike up a mountain, to go surfing, et cetera — too much.

And no, we don’t get lonely, we have plenty of friends and we have our dogs that tag along for all activites :)

DINK life is pretty sweet.

magicbrou , Toa Heftiba Report

Final score:

80points

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Beth Dodd 3 years ago

My dad's sister never had any kids. Instead of contributing to the gene pool, she and my uncle both traveled the world researching family history instead.

9points

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So Zoë believes that it's inevitable that the childfree choice is becoming more popular, as people don't feel like they have access to, or are compelled towards, the traditional one-size-fits-all lifestyle of the heteronormative nuclear family. “Hopefully projects like mine can encourage people to embrace this change as a net good for the planet, instead of lashing out from a conservative, reactionary place. More people making conscious choices in their own interests can only be a good thing!”

#25

Complete lack of a support system. You know the saying “it takes a village to raise a child?” Well we have no village anymore. Unless you happen to live nearby family, no one is around to help, you’re on your own. (You know those harried mothers in supermarkets who have screaming wailing children and they just look so exhausted and done with life? I don’t want to be that person. I don’t want to feel that way, ever)

Money. I can barely support/ensure a future for myself, let alone a whole new human being with needs like diapers, medical visits, food, toys, etc. At 37 I’ve just started to be able to actually enjoy my life so throwing it all away because every cent needs to be spent on a kid is a recipe for mental health disaster.

Lack of body autonomy. As soon as that test is positive, your body is no longer your own. You are no longer a person, you are an incubator for “precious new life.” Doctor visits where you’re just out there for the world to see, people poking and prodding your “most secret” areas until they’re less of a secret and more of a billboard….then after you have the baby, the physical toll of giving more of yourself to feed it. I just can’t fathom that severe of a loss of self.

No sleep, constant exhaustion. I’m wiped enough working 8-5, doing a workout, cooking dinner and cleaning up after and all the other tasks of being an adult in a home, adding the additional lack of sleep and tasks of constantly keeping a child alive? I see it in peoples drawn faces and eye bags. Why would you want to invite that on yourself. (Also see lack of support system)

Kids destroy things. They make messes. I just was able to eke out a life for myself in a house and actually buy some new things and make it feel like I’m finally an adult…..for kids to ruin the couch I saved for or the tv I saved for would just be too much. Those are symbols of my hard work and accomplishments and you just destroyed it you little s—t, lol

Also I’m just scared of all the medical stuff. The things that can go wrong, the pain, the changes to your body, the pain, the recovery process (with or without anyone to help you), the pain…..

ParnsAngel Report

Final score:

77points

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renee brack 3 years ago

Touché, succinct, accurate, well said. It was like reading my own thoughts, feelings and life events. Especially about the couch. Or as I like to think of it - my living room throne where I can sit or recline while I wave my magic wand at the tv and transport myself to magical places with people I can change for others with another wave of my wand. Bliss.

10points

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#26

Someone Asks “People Who Don’t Ever Want To Have Kids, Why?” And People Deliver 30 Honest Replies My wife and I have tons of health issues, mental and physical, including chronic depression, crohns, epilepsy, etc.

The world is just a nasty place and there's no reason to bring a child into it anymore

Money and freedom to travel.

Kids are loud, gross, expensive and annoying and I like to sleep in and go anywhere and do anything on a dime.

Ddgraves , Lorna Mitchell Report

Final score:

70points

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Kay blue 3 years ago

I had my daughter before I was diagnosed with Crohn's, I spent her entire childhood worrying that she would also get it. If I had been diagnosed earlier, I wouldn't have chosen to pass on my seriously messed up genes. I would die for my daughter and couldn't imagine life without her, but that is because I have her.

12points

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#27

Someone Asks “People Who Don’t Ever Want To Have Kids, Why?” And People Deliver 30 Honest Replies I love my niece and nephew too but after an entire day with them i really, really need some peace and quiet. If its your own kids, you dont get that. So i imagine that but 24/7 and i dont understand how people do it.

joacoleon , charleingracia Report

Final score:

66points

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Daphne Williams 3 years ago

I have three kids and I desperately need some peace and quiet XD. We do it by letting go of some of our sanity, permanently.

7points

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#28

Someone Asks “People Who Don’t Ever Want To Have Kids, Why?” And People Deliver 30 Honest Replies It's easier and cheaper being an aunt. Chase a toddler around a splash pad so that I can enjoy it too- nice. Same toddler is cranky- give it back to the parents. I might treat it to ice cream now and then but I don't have to worry about future school expenses. Etc, etc.

watchforbicycles , Hillshire Farm Report

Final score:

57points

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Cristina Sacchi 3 years ago

Treat "it" to ice cream...

5points

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#29

Someone Asks “People Who Don’t Ever Want To Have Kids, Why?” And People Deliver 30 Honest Replies That whole thing about your friends start having kids and it will make you want one. Funny thing was people around me having kids was the exact reason my 50/50 went to I don't want them. I can tolerate kids for short spans of time like I'll babysit but at the end of the day I don't have to deal with the stressful part of having kids( sickness, tantrums, money, etc.)

Tahtygirl , Aditya Romansa Report

Final score:

56points

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Caro Caro 3 years ago

I get this too.

6points

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#30

I can barely go through my period without painkillers, I'll never manage to give birth. Also, I don't like kids, they're annoying.

dHomoSapien Report

Final score:

53points

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A_fangirling_Demigod_witch 2 years ago

they ARE annoying. 4-6 year olds are okay, but babies...ugh

0points

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#31

Someone Asks “People Who Don’t Ever Want To Have Kids, Why?” And People Deliver 30 Honest Replies I wouldn't make a good parent because of my hot temper.

I'm impatient and not good with people.

allnameswereusedup , Ashley Byrd Report

Final score:

23points

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denzoren 3 years ago

I have this fear too. Sometimes I get really annoyed with people when they're pushing my boundaries of personal space etc.

5points

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#32

Someone Asks “People Who Don’t Ever Want To Have Kids, Why?” And People Deliver 30 Honest Replies Because I believe that children deserve parents that will love them, always put them first, spend quality time with them and make sacrifices so that their children can have the best opportunities. But at the same time have the strength to set boundaries and discipline them in a healthy way so that they grow into good human beings.

Also because I don't currently have a partner or much financial stability in my life at this stage and I don't want to be a single parent or bring a child into the world if I'm not in a position to provide for them.

And I don't trust myself to be unselfish enough to be everything that I believe a child deserves. I sometimes catch myself thinking that children might be nice; but until I'm sure of myself, financially stable and in a steady relationship a child is unlikely to be in the picture.

vixterlkirby , Markus Spiske Report

Final score:

15points

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Kirsti-Tina Thompson 3 years ago

Am very similar to OP. All of the above and I don't think it will change in time for my biological clock.

2points

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#33

Someone Asks “People Who Don’t Ever Want To Have Kids, Why?” And People Deliver 30 Honest Replies I don’t want to give birth and go through all that.. Adoption is a long process and a lot of money that I don’t have. Kids are expensive

SinisterKiss_ , Janko Ferlič Report

Final score:

15points

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MagNat 2 years ago

God yes.

0points

#34

I could write you a book. Some of my reasons have changed over the years but the reasons were always valid.

First was tokophobia. I still suffer from tokophobia but I've worked hard over the years to get better (because I didn't want it to affect my relationships with friends and their children). I've come a long way but it's still there.

Then it was money.

Then it was just the realisation it wouldn't make me happy because I think I'd be resentful about putting a child's needs and desires before my own...and they deserve that.

But then I got ill. I now live with disability and chronic pain. Having just watched my best friend struggle with even a healthy pregnancy...i think a pregnancy would leave me with irreversible damage and pain. I would be unable to care for a baby afterwards. I would severely struggle as I am right now due to chronic fatigue and chronic pain. I wouldn't be surprised if I became wheelchair bound.

That sort of hammers home my previous reasons. Control over my body is leeching away as it is. I struggle to support myself. I would be miserable, and as my body and independence eroded away I would resent that poor child who didn't ask to be born.

It's not meant for me.

Hyzenthlay87 Report

Final score:

15points

POST

David Butler 3 years ago

TOKOPHOBIA: a morbid fear of childbirth or pregnancy.

1point

Liucija Adomaite is a creative mind with years of experience in copywriting. She has a dynamic set of experiences from advertising, academia, and journalism. This time, she has set out on a journey to investigate the ways in which we communicate ideas on a large scale. Her current mission is to find a magic formula for how to make ideas, news, and other such things spread like a virus.

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Denis is a photo editor at Bored Panda. After getting his bachelor's degree in Multimedia and Computer Design, he tried to succeed in digital design, advertising, and branding. Also, Denis really enjoys sports and loves everything related to board sports and water.

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What do you think ?

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Ozacoter 3 years ago

It is very important that society starts realising that many people, specially women, doesnt want children and that their choice is as valid as any. I have severe health problems and was denied a hysterectomy by 3 gynecologists "because younwill change your mind". First I was 30, I am not a child. Second I need it for medical reasons, would you say the same to an apendicits patient?. The last gyn convinced me to have a less effective surgery without telling me that afterwards pregnancy would be extremely dangerous for me (26% mortality, x3 chances of ectopic pregnancy...). Even with that he refused to sterilise me "because you will change your mind". He actively endangered my health to save a minimal chance of me having a healthy baby. Obviously the hospital board did nothing against him. I am just a dumb woman afterall only good as a walking uterus. My health is less important than my hypothetical children.

38points

Ozacoter 3 years ago

This happened in Belgium, a fairly advanced and feminist country. I cannot imagine how terrible it is for women in other more conservative countries.

25points

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Vicky Z 3 years ago

Ozacoter every time you mention what you've been through with your medical history i become so mad! Hysterectomy is very difficult to perform in any country no matter how advanced it is unfortunately!! We have to be dying to remove it!!! And no their problem is not that we will change our mind! If that was the case they would give us a paper to sign and that's it!! The problem is that we will not fulfill our duty to the society! What's your purpose if you don't reproduce? It's really sad honestly i also have issues and don't want kids but i know I'll never find anyone to perform anything more drastic! I only hear the "advice" be patient and have a kid cause your period might be better afterwards! What if not? Can i return the child?

11points

Elmie Pumpkinbush 3 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

7points

T J R 3 years ago

After I delivered my daughter (I got pregnant while on birth control and never wanted kids) I asked to have my tubes tied. The gyn denied me saying I was too young and might change my mind. I was 27, I didn't want kids to begin with so why would I want more, the pregnancy was high-risk, and I almost died during childbirth. I asked every time I went to the gyn and everytime was told no. I switched doctors and they told me no, but only because I'm thin and it would cause early osteoporosis. They had me switch to an IUD that pretty much ensures I won't get pregnant again. Our body, our choice!!

6points

Aroha 3 years ago (edited)

Sorry you had to go through that. I am from one of the most gender equal countries in the world, yet if a married woman wants a hysterectomy/sterilisation, her husband must be asked first... The other way round, the wife is not asked for permission. This is clear from people's personal stories. The law says only that "the spouse" should be consulted, but still in reality the majority of doctors consider it only the female's holy responsibility in life to reproduce...

6points

Freya the Wanderer 3 years ago

If there is a Hell, I hope it holds an especially nasty place for the male chauvinists who won't perform hysterectomies except to save a woman's life.

5points

Alex Luiz 3 years ago

There is robust research showing the rate of sterilisation regret among women. The women least likely to regret it were those who had never had children.

5points

Sara Diogo 3 years ago

I just want to write here my support. It's crazy how hard it is to get a hysterectomy when we know we don't want kids but it's obscene that when there is a medical condition that makes it more necessary you aren't allowed. I wish you the best of luck.

5points

Random Panda 3 years ago

I am so sorry you had to go through that.

4points

Aaricia 3 years ago

So many women have that in the Netherlands too, it's disgusting.

3points

Louloubelle 3 years ago

I had endometriosis and when I finally had kids, I asked my doctor if I ended up with a c-section, can you just give me a hysterectomy. The guy said the same thing "you'll change your mind". What?! I was 40 - I just paid, out of pocket about $27,000 for IVF. Yeah, no way was I going to have more. I finally found a woman doctor, explained my history, and got my hysterectomy at 49. It had to be an abdominal one, because they had to scrape the endometrial tissue off all my organs. But, I too was just a "dumb woman" /s.

0points

Lovin' Life 3 years ago

I have 3 children, well adults now, and I love them with all my heart. I dont regret it at all. That being said, i dont understand trying to justify why you dont want kids. It's a choice that you make for yourself. You know you better than anyone. It shouldn't matter to others. It's not their lives. If you have kids just to be in the "norm" , then you're miserable and in turn so will your kids.

22points

Mette Stenersen 3 years ago

Do we really need a reason to not have kids? Well, I don't like kids, never have, never will.

17points

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Ozacoter 3 years ago

38points

Ozacoter 3 years ago

This happened in Belgium, a fairly advanced and feminist country. I cannot imagine how terrible it is for women in other more conservative countries.

25points

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Vicky Z 3 years ago

11points

Elmie Pumpkinbush 3 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

7points

T J R 3 years ago

6points

Aroha 3 years ago (edited)

6points

Freya the Wanderer 3 years ago

If there is a Hell, I hope it holds an especially nasty place for the male chauvinists who won't perform hysterectomies except to save a woman's life.

5points

Alex Luiz 3 years ago

There is robust research showing the rate of sterilisation regret among women. The women least likely to regret it were those who had never had children.

5points

Sara Diogo 3 years ago

5points

Random Panda 3 years ago

I am so sorry you had to go through that.

4points

Aaricia 3 years ago

So many women have that in the Netherlands too, it's disgusting.

3points

Louloubelle 3 years ago

0points

Lovin' Life 3 years ago

22points

Mette Stenersen 3 years ago

Do we really need a reason to not have kids? Well, I don't like kids, never have, never will.

17points

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Someone Asks “People Who Don’t Ever Want To Have Kids, Why?” And People Deliver 30 Honest Replies

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