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We live in a colorful world, no doubt about it. With so much information bombarding us every day, it’s easy to lose track of what’s really going on around us.
And by really, I mean that we often fail to pause and reflect on the dynamics of our modern society where people celebrate an inherently positive side of the world. But what if beneath its wholesome surface lies an underlying toxicity that feeds our delusions even further?
It sounds like one of those difficult thoughts that haunt us before falling asleep. But thanks to one Redditor who recently asked a seemingly basic question “What are 'wholesome' things that are actually toxic?” we now have some truly eye-opening answers. From family vlogging to animal rescue videos that are often totally fake, these are some examples to remind us to not take everything at face value.
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#1
Not sure if it’s on here already, but I get super uncomfortable when a video of a classroom of kids giving the kid who “can’t afford new shoes” a brand new pair as a surprise. The entire culture of filming while doing kind things for people is so exploitive and gross and sad.
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#2
The expectation to keep your family members in your life no matter what they do. Some people have families that treat them like absolute [trash], and being related to them isn't a good reason to keep them around. It's ok to cut off toxic family members.
#3
Body positivity like Dove's "Real Beauty" campaign. The idea that all women are beautiful sounds nice on the surface, but it's a gross message to send because beauty is still at the core of it. I don't want to be told that my body is beautiful too, I want to be told that I don't have to be beautiful, that my value is not tied to how much other people enjoy looking at me.
HooowlAtTheMoon 4 years ago
Exactly, I don't care about whether I look 'beautiful' or not, I want it to be okay to not care if i look 'beautiful' or not
#5
“Look at this adorable 4-year-old using a walker! So inspirational!”
“Awww, this guy asked a deaf girl to prom!”
“Watch this group of guys playing tackle football with a guy with Down syndrome!!”
“Check out this amazing blind kid walking down a street! Next level, yo!”
#6
Proposing in front of a crowd. Puts a lot of pressure on the person being proposed to.
#7
Corporations who spend $50 million on ads to tell you about the amazing $1 million they spent on a charity program.
#8
Toxic positivity. Like when someone's having a really hard time and you tell them to stay positive or try to look at the bright side. [Screw] you Jenny, my grandma died.
#9
Instagram "influencers" promoting their "amazing" healthy lifestyles but in reality mostly staged/photoshopped and exacerbating mental illness, body issues, anxiety in young people.
#10
Touching women’s bellies when they’re pregnant. You don’t go around patting a penis to congratulate it on its successful ejaculation. Damn.
#11
The pure existence of most modern dog breeds. Pugs, for example. We all think they’re super cute, but the truth is - they are extremely deformed and constantly suffering as a result of a century of inbreeding. A lot of people don’t know this, and it’s really sad. I’m not saying these dogs should be put down right now, just saying it would’ve been a better idea not to inbreed dogs for centuries.
#12
Asking your child "Who's your boy/girlfriend?" any time they interact with someone of the opposite sex.
Eva the Egg 4 years ago
Yes! I hate it when people assume there's something going on when you're just hanging out with your friends
#13
Badgering people to have kids. No, I’m not going to magically change my mind when I meet the right girl.
#16
Punking people with practical jokes that are fake traumatic incidents. There is absolutely nothing funny about witnessing a fake death, mortal injury or abuse and then discovering it was all an elaborate joke. It’s traumatizing.
#17
As a former homeless person, I can't put into words how annoying the people who film themselves handing out food for a viral video with some emotional pop song overlaid on it are. It's 100% "look at me, look how cool and HELPFUL I am" while honestly not giving a real damn about the homeless. It'd be one thing if you're putting your fame and money back into funding a shelter, or true change and volunteering and charity efforts but not just dropping $20 on some McDonalds meals to drive around LA filming strangers sleeping on the street for a bit.
Sue Hazlewood 4 years ago
I have given food and money to people on the street but it never occurred to me to photograph it. So damn tacky and insulting to the person you are giving to.
#18
Using your child for likes on social media, that's creepy I never understood why would any parent do that
#19
Abstinence and purity promise culture. Really [screws] people up for a long time when you teach them that: A.) sex is dirty, bad and evil B.) their worth as a person is tied to that purity
#21
Glorifying feeding animals into obesity
#22
School fundraisers.
If the government can't give schools enough funds, then everything is wrong.
#23
Repeatedly professing your love for someone after they tell you that they aren't interested.
The idea that you can "make" someone love you back if you just keep trying is rooted in toxicity, but romanticized in countless films and TV shows.
#24
Teachers giving up their Sick Days for some other teacher can have days off for Cancer Treatments.
#25
"If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best." In theory, I'm supposed to be a statement of unconditional love, but in reality it's just inviting toxic behavior with no way out
Pittsburgh rare 4 years ago
Every time I see someone quoting that, l run in the opposite direction
#26
The idea that feeling anger makes you a bad person, or that you are obligated to forgive absolutely everyone who has hurt you.
King Joffrey 4 years ago
Feeling anger doesn't make you a bad person, displaying anger to people who haven't caused it does.
#27
Any viral story about some kid selling [stuff] to pay for a relatives healthcare.
#28
Dolphins at SeaWorld and other family centers. They are generally all in a state of extreme mental health stress and have to be given drugs to keep them calm. In addition, the profits from capturing the best looking dolphins and selling them to these places fuel an annual dolphin hunt in Japan where the vast majority are sold for animal meat. It is a brutal practice where an extremely intelligent and sentient animal group is killed without painkillers in a slaughter.
#29
Receiving recognition for perfect attendance. My ass that you never got sick.
#30
Supporting someone no matter what choices they make. You can love someone to the ends of the earth, that doesn’t mean they will 100% be right all of the time, no matter how much you love or admire them.
#31
When people who are super spiritual and love love love all the time judge and ridicule you for not being in a good mood or for needing space. “You’re ruining the vibe” “this isn’t a hostile environment”- gaslighting is wrong and these people do it ALL THE TIME! I call them “the love police”.
#32
Any kind of 'tough love'. "Other people have it worse" or "Kids should get bullied to toughen up" (Yes someone actually said this to me).
Raine Soo 4 years ago
My mom was very big on tough love. She would try to nag me into submission. All it did was build up my resentment toward her. Yes, there was backtalk from my part, which infuriated her even more. I laugh about it now, but trust me, I was a frustrated teenager and young adult.
Heather Makemson 4 years ago
Same. My mom had a seriously toxic anger issue and I grew up avoiding upsetting everyone around me as a young adult lest I invoke their wrath (it was a hot minute before I realized that not only is this unhealthy but not everyone is going to shred me to pieces for simply disagreeing with them)
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Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
I grew up with the "toughen up, shut up" parent. To this day when people say stuff like, 'Well, your father thought you could handle it," I want to scream. Yes, others had it worse. Does that mean my broken ribs were okay?!
Noemie Houtekie-N'Da 4 years ago
My family is more like, you can handle it, don't cry and make a scene, but if you need help, we are with you every step of the way. I think that if they say that, they should apologize and try to help.
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Mimi777 4 years ago
Or “I suffered through XYZ and I turned out just fine so it’s no big deal if you suffer through it as well!”
Leilani Feliciano 4 years ago
"Turned out just fine" and more often than not actually have undiagnosed mental health problems or severe rejection issues, etc.
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Jace 4 years ago
Tough love is BULLLLLLSHIT! This is one of those poisonous pop-psychology myths/fads that got entrenched and is LOVED by the "bootstraps" and bullying types all the world over. This one is so toxic it deserves to be higher on the list, above the "fake animal rescue videos" one that I have never once heard of (and might be something blown out of proportion). This tough love bulllshit is WAY entrenched because it justifies the behavior of assholes, selfish shitheadded douchebagles, libertarians & republicans, entrepreneurs, and other aggressive and callous types who want to disclaim any responsibility for how their actions affect other human beings (usually because that's inconvenient for them, while walking on the backs of others, in their climbing and clawing for success). It's the perfect fake psychology meme to support their sociopathic "game theory" world view.
Vivian Ingram 4 years ago
There is always someone who has it worse than you- someone in the US complains about how hard it is to be a woman and someone tells her at least you aren't in Iran or somewhere like that. The woman in Iran it told that at least she wasn't forced to get married at 13. The girl who was forced to get married at 13 is told at least her husband doesn't hit her. The girl who's husband abuses her is told that at least she isn't in Africa starving. The starving African girl is told that at least she doesn't have a bunch of siblings she has to care for as well. There is ALWAYS someone suffering more than you. That doesn't mean your suffering doesn't matter, or that it doesn't suck.
Bisexual Tiger 4 years ago
My mom sometimes says that I should be bullied so I would care more about my appearence. *Shudder* It's a tough life...
Funtime Taylor 4 years ago
I have said to MYSELF "Stop crying over something so stupid, other people have it worse" and I realized that this is toxic (even though I continue to do so) and that it stems from my Dad trying to guilt trip me into doing something.
Carol Emory 4 years ago
I'm not a fan of tough love, but I also don't believe in coddling your kids and protecting them from everything, including their own feelings. Teach them the realities of life early. That way you teach them to deal with life's ups and downs without popping a fuse.
Eslamala 4 years ago
No kid should get bullied, but every kid needs to know how to stand up for themselves and also not to be an ass to other kids. And yes, they should know some people have it worse, and others have it so much better, also. Kids can't be sheltered from everything all the time, you just have to find the right way to teach them these things.
Nicole Robertson 4 years ago
When ever I am sad beacuse of my family and how they suck someone always tells me that other people have it worse and it makes me feel like my problems don't matter.
Easily Excitable Panda 4 years ago
Tough love "academies" are the worst. Unless you want to scar your child for life, of course.
Snake of Eden 4 years ago
Yeah, I'm working on this myself. I have always dismissed my own problems because I always think "Other people have it way worse", and in the end it just ends up hurting me.
Maggie Dinzler Shaw 4 years ago
Totally. Nothing worse than dismissing someone's depression, grief or stress by comparing it to what others have. We are all different but we all need help processing these things and if the brain can't do it without some therapy, then we should get that or risk worse,
Austin _drawz69 4 years ago
The "other people have it worse" thing reminds me of when me and my siblings were being picky about food and our parents go "there are kids in Africa who can't eat anything, why dont you go live there?"
Eliška Hůlková 4 years ago (edited)
When I was a kid, I absolutely hated being told that other people have it worse, but now the thought is actually helping me to appreciate what I have.
qwerty 4 years ago
Are you intentionally missing the point on every one of these?
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#34
Teachers working overtime/sacrificing for their students/fundraising for anything/etc. Most news articles that hit national headlines about teachers are toxic af.
"student raises money for his former teacher found living in a car"
"principal works 2nd job to help homeless students have clean clothes and food"
#35
Spending so much time on social media to show everyone else how wholesome your life is.
#36
Spouses being their partners EVERYTHING. it's okay to have other friends, actually it's even healthy to have a robust social life in which you get different things out of your relationships with different people
#37
Baby onesies that say stuff. Some are innocent...a lot are not. I'm a first time mom to a 6mo son. My child is not here to make grandma feel like a "mother without rules". And keep that "chick magnet" [nonsense] outta my face.
angie but who cares 4 years ago
some people are mad at having gay charecters in shows but will put baby girls in shat like this Screenshot...b3f9ed.png 
#38
"We're all just one big family!"
If anyone tells you this in a workplace setting, run. They're only like a family in the sense of the most toxic parts of one that exploit you.
#39
Youtube kids channels. The ones aimed at older audiences are literally better for a child than the kids ones.
#40
News stories like "CEO sees employee dumpster diving for food and buys them a headlamp" or "Kid works manual labor to pay off school lunch debt for entire class"
WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago
But they were actual headlines and they do reflect how twisted the US society has become. It's amusing for outsiders, it's very sad for people living in the US.
#41
Anything where abled people treat disabled people like accessories. Some examples are the popular girl asking the disabled boy to prom after ignoring him for most of high school. Another example is those TikTok accounts that are run by an abled person that treats their disabled friend/family member like a show pony.
#42
People that tell you "you wont fail ...". I get what they are trying to say but there is a certain point where I just want to hear "its ok if you fail"
Thomas Helms 4 years ago
It's definitely okay to fail. You will either learn how to not do something or learn that whatever you're doing is simply not for you. What's important is that you tried and learned from the experience. And as long as you gave it your best, that's all you can ask for.
#43
Never taking no for an answer No means no, trying to push anyone to do ANYTHING after they physically refuse is a horrible sign
#44
Social media posts of people sharing their “good deed” or “act of kindness”. Especially when it’s some annoying elaborate thing that completely ignores existing social supports (like collecting and then handing out food donations instead of oh, idk, REGULARLY SUPPORTING THE FOOD BANK) or they just give money to a “poor” person and then force that person to pose with them. Or worse - film them.
Proud gold rose 4 years ago (edited)
My dad does this but different, today he did his usual run on the beach he found a man of war jellyfish and helped it get back into the water. He recorded it but only to show me didn’t tell anyone else other then me and my mom and didn’t post it.
#45
The "martyr mom" idea that you have to sacrifice 100% of your life for your kids. Absolutely parenting takes sacrifices, but I have seen some people act like they can't do ANYTHING for themselves anymore because they have children. For example, a woman I work with ended up with a half day at work while her kids were at school so she had 3-4 hours of unexpected free time. I suggested she got get a mani-pedi or something else fun for just her. She told me "I could never do that, I have kids!" Lady, your kids are safely at school and this is found time. It doesn't make you a better parent to neglect yourself, especially when it isn't even necessary. You don't have to be puke covered, unshowered, and unhappy to be a good parent.
#46
“Good Vibes Only” posting. Let people experience real emotions, Sarah, not insta-perfect emulations of surfer chill
#47
Crowdfunding for medical costs, kids having lemonade stands to pay for cancer treatment, etc.
#48
Acting like babies are “flirting” with people for smiling, waving, or paying any attention towards another individual of the opposite sex.
#49
Every so often I'll see a 'cute wildlife' photo that is very obviously staged, probably to the stress of the animal/s in question. Its absolutely [messed up], but because people keep sharing them on social media, some [jerks] out there will keep on essentially torturing animals just so we can go 'Awww!'.
brukernavn340 4 years ago
I've seen a couple of them here on BP though. For example the one with the "magical human and animal bond". https://www.boredpanda.com/surreal-animal-photography-katerina-plotnikova/
#51
Jealousy over other people in your parter’s life. Why the hell do we romanticize that?
#52
Expecting everyone to come home/be around during the holidays. Considering people have jobs that don't stop being necessary just because a certain day of the year comes around, many people move far away from the family nest, just as many people are having personal issues that make it impossible to travel/miss work and, again, just as many people have started settling down to have families of their own, the notion that everyone must drop whatever it is that's going on in their lives and converge in a single location on a single day is just ridiculous and stressful.
What do you think ?
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
Can we go one day on BP without the "let's all sneer at someone else" posts, and just look at cute animals more?
Lauren Caswell 4 years ago
Yes i need cute and happy and less angst pls BP. Even just for a day. Fine me funnily timed photos and naughty pets and cutie patoot animals etc
Load More Replies...
kjorn 4 years ago
hiring woman BECAUSE you have a quota of woman, racial people, people with disability. it suck. i need people with skill... not a skin color, or genre. SKILLS!!!
Lorelai Purvis 4 years ago
did you mean to say gender instead of genre? because if so, keep it as genre. it's more fun.
Load More Replies...
Thomas Biorogue 4 years ago
I think people don't know what "Toxic" means. It's almost the way people misuse "Literally."
c.VIII 4 years ago
agreed. it's so overused the word itself aggravates me at this point.
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Joe Mama 4 years ago
This is just my opinion, but I kind of think this post is toxic. The last thing we need is a list of things that make us angry/ more pointing fingers. I just want to see something positive, like cute little animals 😅
JT Thompson 4 years ago
I disagree with about half of these. I believe, if anything, it's the intention behind the action that makes it toxic. Example: growing up in New Orleans, some schools needed funding so fundraising helped kids with essentials. Also I feel this quote: "If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best" is taken out of context. It's more having to deal with someone who is having a rough time such as perhaps losing a job and people leaving because of that.
Penny Kemper 4 years ago
Most of them aren't toxic. But yes why Publicize your charity? The write doesn't like it and the rest of us don't care because we have bigger things to worry about.
Jordan Smith 4 years ago
Downvote me to hell, I dont care, but kids that do amazing things that everyone should know how to do. Let me explain. There was an incident recently where a kid performed CPR on his sister to save her life. Which that's great. But that isnt the issue. The issue is the parents now knowing what do to. Everyone should know how to do CPR. But they didnt, which is the issue. And they also didnt see that the daughter was choking, which is worse. So the last thing was for the kid to save his sister's life. If the parents were just a little bit smarter, then there would be no story there. It's simply just a kid knowing what to do when the parents suck.
Lisa Edmunds 4 years ago
Posting a happy birthday message on social media but I have to be in all of the pictures with the birthday girl. Why can't they just be pics of the person with the birthday?
Hedonism Bot 4 years ago (edited)
Some Youtube personality made a video about "uplifting" stories that are actually symptoms of major social ills (not unlike some if the entries on this list): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DXpKvlFQxEs
Sarah Grape 4 years ago (edited)
title: toxic things that pretend to be wholesome ~~ content: WhY aMeRiCa SuCkS
Matt Hiemstra 4 years ago
This should be entitled. You don't feel you are offended enough...here is a list of things that will make you a hit at any party.
TheAnimalLady 4 years ago (edited)
**The following was a rebuttal to Eslamala's highly downvoted comment which was moved to the lowest spot in this thread (so read hers B4U bash me): The kind of person who gives importance to anyone else's opinion... is normal. It's how we're conditioned and controlled from birth by our Love Bullies...and Capitalism. So belittling others for it is rude and hurtful.
Israel Martinez 4 years ago
For me, it's "I would die for my parent(s)" ... I doubt any parent would want to see their child sacrifice their future, especially after any sacrifices they may have already made for that child ... I don't know any parent that would put their child in that position ...
ivan bolitekurac 4 years ago
I have seen a few things that resembles hollywood actors and singers/artist.And yet,people worship them or find them cool.
Bean flavored Fujioshi 4 years ago
yeah i would...also cause you just made this post about your problem instead of the actual post(no offence)
Load More Replies...
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
Can we go one day on BP without the "let's all sneer at someone else" posts, and just look at cute animals more?
Lauren Caswell 4 years ago
Yes i need cute and happy and less angst pls BP. Even just for a day. Fine me funnily timed photos and naughty pets and cutie patoot animals etc
Load More Replies... kjorn 4 years ago
hiring woman BECAUSE you have a quota of woman, racial people, people with disability. it suck. i need people with skill... not a skin color, or genre. SKILLS!!!
Lorelai Purvis 4 years ago
did you mean to say gender instead of genre? because if so, keep it as genre. it's more fun.
Load More Replies... Thomas Biorogue 4 years ago
I think people don't know what "Toxic" means. It's almost the way people misuse "Literally."
c.VIII 4 years ago
agreed. it's so overused the word itself aggravates me at this point.
Load More Replies... Joe Mama 4 years ago
This is just my opinion, but I kind of think this post is toxic. The last thing we need is a list of things that make us angry/ more pointing fingers. I just want to see something positive, like cute little animals 😅
JT Thompson 4 years ago
I disagree with about half of these. I believe, if anything, it's the intention behind the action that makes it toxic. Example: growing up in New Orleans, some schools needed funding so fundraising helped kids with essentials. Also I feel this quote: "If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best" is taken out of context. It's more having to deal with someone who is having a rough time such as perhaps losing a job and people leaving because of that.
Penny Kemper 4 years ago
Most of them aren't toxic. But yes why Publicize your charity? The write doesn't like it and the rest of us don't care because we have bigger things to worry about.
Jordan Smith 4 years ago
Downvote me to hell, I dont care, but kids that do amazing things that everyone should know how to do. Let me explain. There was an incident recently where a kid performed CPR on his sister to save her life. Which that's great. But that isnt the issue. The issue is the parents now knowing what do to. Everyone should know how to do CPR. But they didnt, which is the issue. And they also didnt see that the daughter was choking, which is worse. So the last thing was for the kid to save his sister's life. If the parents were just a little bit smarter, then there would be no story there. It's simply just a kid knowing what to do when the parents suck.
Lisa Edmunds 4 years ago
Posting a happy birthday message on social media but I have to be in all of the pictures with the birthday girl. Why can't they just be pics of the person with the birthday?
Hedonism Bot 4 years ago (edited)
Some Youtube personality made a video about "uplifting" stories that are actually symptoms of major social ills (not unlike some if the entries on this list): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DXpKvlFQxEs
Sarah Grape 4 years ago (edited)
title: toxic things that pretend to be wholesome ~~ content: WhY aMeRiCa SuCkS
Matt Hiemstra 4 years ago
This should be entitled. You don't feel you are offended enough...here is a list of things that will make you a hit at any party.
TheAnimalLady 4 years ago (edited)
**The following was a rebuttal to Eslamala's highly downvoted comment which was moved to the lowest spot in this thread (so read hers B4U bash me): The kind of person who gives importance to anyone else's opinion... is normal. It's how we're conditioned and controlled from birth by our Love Bullies...and Capitalism. So belittling others for it is rude and hurtful.
Israel Martinez 4 years ago
For me, it's "I would die for my parent(s)" ... I doubt any parent would want to see their child sacrifice their future, especially after any sacrifices they may have already made for that child ... I don't know any parent that would put their child in that position ...
ivan bolitekurac 4 years ago
I have seen a few things that resembles hollywood actors and singers/artist.And yet,people worship them or find them cool.
Bean flavored Fujioshi 4 years ago
yeah i would...also cause you just made this post about your problem instead of the actual post(no offence)
Load More Replies... 
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