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We live in a colorful world, no doubt about it. With so much information bombarding us every day, it’s easy to lose track of what’s really going on around us.

And by really, I mean that we often fail to pause and reflect on the dynamics of our modern society where people celebrate an inherently positive side of the world. But what if beneath its wholesome surface lies an underlying toxicity that feeds our delusions even further?

It sounds like one of those difficult thoughts that haunt us before falling asleep. But thanks to one Redditor who recently asked a seemingly basic question “What are 'wholesome' things that are actually toxic?” we now have some truly eye-opening answers. From family vlogging to animal rescue videos that are often totally fake, these are some examples to remind us to not take everything at face value.

#1

Not sure if it’s on here already, but I get super uncomfortable when a video of a classroom of kids giving the kid who “can’t afford new shoes” a brand new pair as a surprise. The entire culture of filming while doing kind things for people is so exploitive and gross and sad.

LaceyThunderwear Report

#2

The expectation to keep your family members in your life no matter what they do. Some people have families that treat them like absolute [trash], and being related to them isn't a good reason to keep them around. It's ok to cut off toxic family members.

Weirdo_666_420 Report

#3

Body positivity like Dove's "Real Beauty" campaign. The idea that all women are beautiful sounds nice on the surface, but it's a gross message to send because beauty is still at the core of it. I don't want to be told that my body is beautiful too, I want to be told that I don't have to be beautiful, that my value is not tied to how much other people enjoy looking at me.

verytiredverymerry Report

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HooowlAtTheMoon
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Exactly, I don't care about whether I look 'beautiful' or not, I want it to be okay to not care if i look 'beautiful' or not

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#4

People Expose 40 Things That Pretend To Be Wholesome Yet Are Actually Toxic Beauty Pagents

Chopper3 Report

#5

People Expose 40 Things That Pretend To Be Wholesome Yet Are Actually Toxic “Look at this adorable 4-year-old using a walker! So inspirational!”

“Awww, this guy asked a deaf girl to prom!”

“Watch this group of guys playing tackle football with a guy with Down syndrome!!”

“Check out this amazing blind kid walking down a street! Next level, yo!”

an_ineffable_plan Report

#6

People Expose 40 Things That Pretend To Be Wholesome Yet Are Actually Toxic Proposing in front of a crowd. Puts a lot of pressure on the person being proposed to.

HeliosHeliodes , SpnkyHappy Report

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Ivo H
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes, NEVER do that in public. Or (even worse) in front of family, or friends. The exception is, of course, if your spouse knows about it and agrees.

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#7

People Expose 40 Things That Pretend To Be Wholesome Yet Are Actually Toxic Corporations who spend $50 million on ads to tell you about the amazing $1 million they spent on a charity program.

DeFex , Patrick Perkins Report

#8

People Expose 40 Things That Pretend To Be Wholesome Yet Are Actually Toxic Toxic positivity. Like when someone's having a really hard time and you tell them to stay positive or try to look at the bright side. [Screw] you Jenny, my grandma died.

bluecatcollege , Johan Godínez Report

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IzzieM
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes, people should stop doing this. Being supportive does not equate being positive. There's a difference.

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#9

People Expose 40 Things That Pretend To Be Wholesome Yet Are Actually Toxic Instagram "influencers" promoting their "amazing" healthy lifestyles but in reality mostly staged/photoshopped and exacerbating mental illness, body issues, anxiety in young people.

forestcreature989 , kyliejenner Verified Report

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SoozeeQ
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"You can lead an Influencer to a dictionary, but you can't make them think". - James Weir

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#10

People Expose 40 Things That Pretend To Be Wholesome Yet Are Actually Toxic Touching women’s bellies when they’re pregnant. You don’t go around patting a penis to congratulate it on its successful ejaculation. Damn.

Hellifaks , Junior REIS Report

#11

The pure existence of most modern dog breeds. Pugs, for example. We all think they’re super cute, but the truth is - they are extremely deformed and constantly suffering as a result of a century of inbreeding. A lot of people don’t know this, and it’s really sad. I’m not saying these dogs should be put down right now, just saying it would’ve been a better idea not to inbreed dogs for centuries.

Programmeter Report

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SoozeeQ
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes, and they shouldn't be allowed to continue to breed. Same with those munchkin cats. Poor little things can't breathe.

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#12

People Expose 40 Things That Pretend To Be Wholesome Yet Are Actually Toxic Asking your child "Who's your boy/girlfriend?" any time they interact with someone of the opposite sex.

freakishfrenchhorn , Kevin Gent Report

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Eva the Egg
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes! I hate it when people assume there's something going on when you're just hanging out with your friends

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#13

People Expose 40 Things That Pretend To Be Wholesome Yet Are Actually Toxic Badgering people to have kids. No, I’m not going to magically change my mind when I meet the right girl.

Cultist902 , Marisa Howenstine Report

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Raine Soo
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Having children was never on my agenda. It's great for people who want them. But, you really need to know yourself because it is a lifetime commitment, and you can't give them back. Besides, not everyone is fit to be a parent.

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#14

Dads trying to be weirdly aggressive/threatening to their daughter's bfs.

Baby_Belugas Report

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Monday
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"LOL I met my daughter's new boyfriend at the door with my shotgun, isn't that hilarious!". No John, it's not funny and if you ever do that to my hypothetical son again I'm calling the cops.

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#15

People Expose 40 Things That Pretend To Be Wholesome Yet Are Actually Toxic Family vlogging

Vasa_Vasorum_ , The Moore The Merrier Vlogs Report

#16

Punking people with practical jokes that are fake traumatic incidents. There is absolutely nothing funny about witnessing a fake death, mortal injury or abuse and then discovering it was all an elaborate joke. It’s traumatizing.

serendipindy Report

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denzoren
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Youtubers..."It's a prank bro" is basically the lowest type of human.

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#17

As a former homeless person, I can't put into words how annoying the people who film themselves handing out food for a viral video with some emotional pop song overlaid on it are. It's 100% "look at me, look how cool and HELPFUL I am" while honestly not giving a real damn about the homeless. It'd be one thing if you're putting your fame and money back into funding a shelter, or true change and volunteering and charity efforts but not just dropping $20 on some McDonalds meals to drive around LA filming strangers sleeping on the street for a bit.

IniMiney Report

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Sue Hazlewood
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have given food and money to people on the street but it never occurred to me to photograph it. So damn tacky and insulting to the person you are giving to.

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#18

People Expose 40 Things That Pretend To Be Wholesome Yet Are Actually Toxic Using your child for likes on social media, that's creepy I never understood why would any parent do that

Kashboii , Sai De Silva Report

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Raine Soo
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's amazing the things people do for 'likes' on social media. Some people have died, trying to get the right photograph.

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#19

Abstinence and purity promise culture. Really [screws] people up for a long time when you teach them that:

A.) sex is dirty, bad and evil

B.) their worth as a person is tied to that purity

VonSnapp Report

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#20

People Expose 40 Things That Pretend To Be Wholesome Yet Are Actually Toxic Asking babies to hug and kiss people

Hills1849 , Mehdi Sepehri Report

#22

People Expose 40 Things That Pretend To Be Wholesome Yet Are Actually Toxic School fundraisers.

If the government can't give schools enough funds, then everything is wrong.

exec_director_doom , Jeffrey Hamilton Report

#23

People Expose 40 Things That Pretend To Be Wholesome Yet Are Actually Toxic Repeatedly professing your love for someone after they tell you that they aren't interested.

The idea that you can "make" someone love you back if you just keep trying is rooted in toxicity, but romanticized in countless films and TV shows.

Clarpydarpy , Tyler Nix Report

#24

People Expose 40 Things That Pretend To Be Wholesome Yet Are Actually Toxic Teachers giving up their Sick Days for some other teacher can have days off for Cancer Treatments.

Rubeclair702 , Sharon McCutcheon Report

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Raine Soo
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sick days should be given freely to those who need them. There is no reason why cancer treatments should not qualify.

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#25

"If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best." In theory, I'm supposed to be a statement of unconditional love, but in reality it's just inviting toxic behavior with no way out

SlightlyArtichoke Report

#26

The idea that feeling anger makes you a bad person, or that you are obligated to forgive absolutely everyone who has hurt you.

ElectricYV Report

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King Joffrey
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Feeling anger doesn't make you a bad person, displaying anger to people who haven't caused it does.

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#27

People Expose 40 Things That Pretend To Be Wholesome Yet Are Actually Toxic Any viral story about some kid selling [stuff] to pay for a relatives healthcare.

natelopez53 Report

#28

Dolphins at SeaWorld and other family centers. They are generally all in a state of extreme mental health stress and have to be given drugs to keep them calm. In addition, the profits from capturing the best looking dolphins and selling them to these places fuel an annual dolphin hunt in Japan where the vast majority are sold for animal meat. It is a brutal practice where an extremely intelligent and sentient animal group is killed without painkillers in a slaughter.

DemocraticRepublic Report

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Raine Soo
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This practice is awful, and I do not frequent these types of venues. Dolphins are not here to entertain us or provide us with food, particularly in such a brutal manner. I wish people could just simply appreciate them.

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#29

Receiving recognition for perfect attendance. My ass that you never got sick.

Negafox Report

#30

People Expose 40 Things That Pretend To Be Wholesome Yet Are Actually Toxic Supporting someone no matter what choices they make. You can love someone to the ends of the earth, that doesn’t mean they will 100% be right all of the time, no matter how much you love or admire them.

Background-Pop9203 , Priscilla Du Preez Report

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Raine Soo
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I absolutely support my best friend. But, I will tell her if something is stupid.

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#31

When people who are super spiritual and love love love all the time judge and ridicule you for not being in a good mood or for needing space. “You’re ruining the vibe” “this isn’t a hostile environment”- gaslighting is wrong and these people do it ALL THE TIME! I call them “the love police”.

Lizzwho Report

#32

Any kind of 'tough love'. "Other people have it worse" or "Kids should get bullied to toughen up" (Yes someone actually said this to me).

TheKingofHearts Report

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Raine Soo
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mom was very big on tough love. She would try to nag me into submission. All it did was build up my resentment toward her. Yes, there was backtalk from my part, which infuriated her even more. I laugh about it now, but trust me, I was a frustrated teenager and young adult.

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#33

People Expose 40 Things That Pretend To Be Wholesome Yet Are Actually Toxic All those fake animal rescue videos on YouTube.

Midlux Report

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AJ
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Can't help thinking that when there's a demand for resque pets, doesn't that create supply of resque pets.

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#34

People Expose 40 Things That Pretend To Be Wholesome Yet Are Actually Toxic Teachers working overtime/sacrificing for their students/fundraising for anything/etc. Most news articles that hit national headlines about teachers are toxic af.

"student raises money for his former teacher found living in a car"

"principal works 2nd job to help homeless students have clean clothes and food"

misterdudebro , airfocus Report

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Raine Soo
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is just so sad. The education system should be properly funded by government, so there are less stories like these.

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#35

Spending so much time on social media to show everyone else how wholesome your life is.

sanchito88 Report

#36

Spouses being their partners EVERYTHING. it's okay to have other friends, actually it's even healthy to have a robust social life in which you get different things out of your relationships with different people

petticoatwar Report

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AJ
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Damn covid19 my partner has become about the only person I've seen in a year! Though we've agreed be both need a lot alone time now when neither of us barely have other relationships.

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#37

Baby onesies that say stuff. Some are innocent...a lot are not. I'm a first time mom to a 6mo son. My child is not here to make grandma feel like a "mother without rules". And keep that "chick magnet" [nonsense] outta my face.

hlfpint Report

#38

People Expose 40 Things That Pretend To Be Wholesome Yet Are Actually Toxic "We're all just one big family!"

If anyone tells you this in a workplace setting, run. They're only like a family in the sense of the most toxic parts of one that exploit you.

Andromeda321 Report

#39

People Expose 40 Things That Pretend To Be Wholesome Yet Are Actually Toxic Youtube kids channels. The ones aimed at older audiences are literally better for a child than the kids ones.

cringyfrick , The Sean Ward Show Report

#40

News stories like "CEO sees employee dumpster diving for food and buys them a headlamp"

or

"Kid works manual labor to pay off school lunch debt for entire class"

Dire-Dog Report

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WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But they were actual headlines and they do reflect how twisted the US society has become. It's amusing for outsiders, it's very sad for people living in the US.

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#41

Anything where abled people treat disabled people like accessories. Some examples are the popular girl asking the disabled boy to prom after ignoring him for most of high school. Another example is those TikTok accounts that are run by an abled person that treats their disabled friend/family member like a show pony.

hayleybeth7 Report

#42

People that tell you "you wont fail ...". I get what they are trying to say but there is a certain point where I just want to hear "its ok if you fail"

Joshi3003 Report

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Thomas Helms
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's definitely okay to fail. You will either learn how to not do something or learn that whatever you're doing is simply not for you. What's important is that you tried and learned from the experience. And as long as you gave it your best, that's all you can ask for.

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#43

Never taking no for an answer

No means no, trying to push anyone to do ANYTHING after they physically refuse is a horrible sign

PeacefulOnion Report

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Cooper
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This has happened to me many times for pictures(yk what I mean) and when I say no they just keep saying please as if ima he like “yo. That really just changed my mind. Here ya go”

tail_bite
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

EXACTLY. @$%^ you, grandma. (no offense to anyone that isnt my grandma)

Matthew d
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

if someone SAYS no, then they have not done anything physical. The real issue is not people being pushy, it's those that say no when they are seeking attention thus they really want you to ask again. So start with allowing your Yes to be Yes and your No to be No.

Xylle Flora
Community Member
3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

What if it's asking your older sibling to play

Uncommon Boston
Community Member
Premium
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

An older sibling is not obligated to entertain younger siblings. Playing with kids their own age, doing things based on their maturity level, not their sibling's, is better for both. The younger child is taught their needs are more important, the older child learns to give in to others -- manipulated by factors out of their control. It is unhealthy for both. This question scares me, I hope you are kidding.

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#44

Social media posts of people sharing their “good deed” or “act of kindness”. Especially when it’s some annoying elaborate thing that completely ignores existing social supports (like collecting and then handing out food donations instead of oh, idk, REGULARLY SUPPORTING THE FOOD BANK) or they just give money to a “poor” person and then force that person to pose with them. Or worse - film them.

canadianlupa Report

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Proud gold rose
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My dad does this but different, today he did his usual run on the beach he found a man of war jellyfish and helped it get back into the water. He recorded it but only to show me didn’t tell anyone else other then me and my mom and didn’t post it.

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#45

The "martyr mom" idea that you have to sacrifice 100% of your life for your kids. Absolutely parenting takes sacrifices, but I have seen some people act like they can't do ANYTHING for themselves anymore because they have children.

For example, a woman I work with ended up with a half day at work while her kids were at school so she had 3-4 hours of unexpected free time. I suggested she got get a mani-pedi or something else fun for just her. She told me "I could never do that, I have kids!" Lady, your kids are safely at school and this is found time. It doesn't make you a better parent to neglect yourself, especially when it isn't even necessary.

You don't have to be puke covered, unshowered, and unhappy to be a good parent.

sensualsqueaky Report

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SoozeeQ
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She may have meant, she couldn't afford a mani-pedi *because* she has kids. Those are expensive, and if she's on a tight budget ...

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#46

“Good Vibes Only” posting. Let people experience real emotions, Sarah, not insta-perfect emulations of surfer chill

cheeriotaem Report

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#47

People Expose 40 Things That Pretend To Be Wholesome Yet Are Actually Toxic Crowdfunding for medical costs, kids having lemonade stands to pay for cancer treatment, etc.

disarm33 , Josh Appel Report

#48

Acting like babies are “flirting” with people for smiling, waving, or paying any attention towards another individual of the opposite sex.

eggofreddo Report

#49

Every so often I'll see a 'cute wildlife' photo that is very obviously staged, probably to the stress of the animal/s in question. Its absolutely [messed up], but because people keep sharing them on social media, some [jerks] out there will keep on essentially torturing animals just so we can go 'Awww!'.

PM_ME_YER_TITTAYS Report

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brukernavn340
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've seen a couple of them here on BP though. For example the one with the "magical human and animal bond". https://www.boredpanda.com/surreal-animal-photography-katerina-plotnikova/

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#50

Most relationships shown on TV

cricketrmgss Report

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denzoren
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And on any social platform. Mostly staged and just shows the highlight reel.

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#51

Jealousy over other people in your parter’s life. Why the hell do we romanticize that?

saltpancake Report

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Marianne
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Your husband has lunch with a female colleague? Why do you allow that??" - "Because I'm not a psychopath and also I cannot ban him from a social life?"

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#52

Expecting everyone to come home/be around during the holidays.

Considering people have jobs that don't stop being necessary just because a certain day of the year comes around, many people move far away from the family nest, just as many people are having personal issues that make it impossible to travel/miss work and, again, just as many people have started settling down to have families of their own, the notion that everyone must drop whatever it is that's going on in their lives and converge in a single location on a single day is just ridiculous and stressful.

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Eslamala
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Must be a U.S thing. Here we don't expect other adults to do whatever we want.

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#53

People Expose 40 Things That Pretend To Be Wholesome Yet Are Actually Toxic Hustle culture.

Axes4Praxis , Austin Distel Report