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We live in a colorful world, no doubt about it. With so much information bombarding us every day, it’s easy to lose track of what’s really going on around us.
And by really, I mean that we often fail to pause and reflect on the dynamics of our modern society where people celebrate an inherently positive side of the world. But what if beneath its wholesome surface lies an underlying toxicity that feeds our delusions even further?
It sounds like one of those difficult thoughts that haunt us before falling asleep. But thanks to one Redditor who recently asked a seemingly basic question “What are 'wholesome' things that are actually toxic?” we now have some truly eye-opening answers. From family vlogging to animal rescue videos that are often totally fake, these are some examples to remind us to not take everything at face value.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Not sure if it’s on here already, but I get super uncomfortable when a video of a classroom of kids giving the kid who “can’t afford new shoes” a brand new pair as a surprise. The entire culture of filming while doing kind things for people is so exploitive and gross and sad.
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#2
The expectation to keep your family members in your life no matter what they do. Some people have families that treat them like absolute [trash], and being related to them isn't a good reason to keep them around. It's ok to cut off toxic family members.
#3
Body positivity like Dove's "Real Beauty" campaign. The idea that all women are beautiful sounds nice on the surface, but it's a gross message to send because beauty is still at the core of it. I don't want to be told that my body is beautiful too, I want to be told that I don't have to be beautiful, that my value is not tied to how much other people enjoy looking at me.
HooowlAtTheMoon 3 years ago
Exactly, I don't care about whether I look 'beautiful' or not, I want it to be okay to not care if i look 'beautiful' or not
#5
“Look at this adorable 4-year-old using a walker! So inspirational!”
“Awww, this guy asked a deaf girl to prom!”
“Watch this group of guys playing tackle football with a guy with Down syndrome!!”
“Check out this amazing blind kid walking down a street! Next level, yo!”
#6
Proposing in front of a crowd. Puts a lot of pressure on the person being proposed to.
#7
Corporations who spend $50 million on ads to tell you about the amazing $1 million they spent on a charity program.
#8
Toxic positivity. Like when someone's having a really hard time and you tell them to stay positive or try to look at the bright side. [Screw] you Jenny, my grandma died.
#9
Instagram "influencers" promoting their "amazing" healthy lifestyles but in reality mostly staged/photoshopped and exacerbating mental illness, body issues, anxiety in young people.
#10
Touching women’s bellies when they’re pregnant. You don’t go around patting a penis to congratulate it on its successful ejaculation. Damn.
#11
The pure existence of most modern dog breeds. Pugs, for example. We all think they’re super cute, but the truth is - they are extremely deformed and constantly suffering as a result of a century of inbreeding. A lot of people don’t know this, and it’s really sad. I’m not saying these dogs should be put down right now, just saying it would’ve been a better idea not to inbreed dogs for centuries.
#12
Asking your child "Who's your boy/girlfriend?" any time they interact with someone of the opposite sex.
Eva the Egg 3 years ago
Yes! I hate it when people assume there's something going on when you're just hanging out with your friends
#13
Badgering people to have kids. No, I’m not going to magically change my mind when I meet the right girl.
#16
Punking people with practical jokes that are fake traumatic incidents. There is absolutely nothing funny about witnessing a fake death, mortal injury or abuse and then discovering it was all an elaborate joke. It’s traumatizing.
#17
As a former homeless person, I can't put into words how annoying the people who film themselves handing out food for a viral video with some emotional pop song overlaid on it are. It's 100% "look at me, look how cool and HELPFUL I am" while honestly not giving a real damn about the homeless. It'd be one thing if you're putting your fame and money back into funding a shelter, or true change and volunteering and charity efforts but not just dropping $20 on some McDonalds meals to drive around LA filming strangers sleeping on the street for a bit.
Sue Hazlewood 3 years ago
I have given food and money to people on the street but it never occurred to me to photograph it. So damn tacky and insulting to the person you are giving to.
#18
Using your child for likes on social media, that's creepy I never understood why would any parent do that
#19
Abstinence and purity promise culture. Really [screws] people up for a long time when you teach them that:
A.) sex is dirty, bad and evil
B.) their worth as a person is tied to that purity
#21
Glorifying feeding animals into obesity
Carol Emory 3 years ago
Not all parents have control over that. My son is on medication that has the side effect of weight gain. On top of that, the school district he went to neglected to tell me that he was order two lunches each day instead of one. I found out on my own and put a purchasing limit on his account. By then, the damage was done.
Load More Replies... Eslamala 3 years ago (edited)
Of course there are exceptions, and what you're describing would've made me furious as a mom, but I was referring to people overfeeding their kids just so they don't bother them with normal kids stuff. I mean, I take my son to eat junk food, once a month or maybe less, but I know parents who take their kids everyday, and also feed them all processed foods and then complain that their kids are fat
S. Tor Storm 3 years ago
Finally one I can totally agree on. This is really shitty. Animals (as well as people btw) are not meant to be obese.
Random Person 3 years ago
I think that overfeeding should be treated as abuse. It makes me sad to see these dogs/cats who can barely move because a) their owner overfeeds them, and b) they don't understand the correlation between food and obesity. Overfeeding can kill pets as easily as underfeeding.
Sue Knerl 3 years ago
I hate all those pictures of overly fat cat on Fb and people saying look at my chonk! Ain't he cute". No, he's not cute, you are abusing your cat making it that fat. Diabetes is right around the corner and insulin, needles, strips and meters are expensive. Not to mention your cat is not going to be around very long. Idiots!
Blue of the yams 3 years ago
Right? I can't stand the whole "oh look at thois chonky boi, so thicc" thing.
Sarah Grape 3 years ago (edited)
yeah a good happy dog is healthy. and the dogs know that. but they'll eat too much anyway because you want them to.
Ginny Weasley 3 years ago
like, look at ol chubs here, fat as usual, *proceeds to dump a gallon of kibble in their bowl* yup. OL CHUBS HERE IS GONNA DIE.
Chaotic_pansexual 3 years ago
Exactly. The whole “oh look how big and chubby he is, isn’t it so cute!” Like no, it’s not cute, that animal is suffering
Jeri Woodrow 3 years ago
It is SO sad & causes many other health issues which can often lead to death, animal or humans alike!
Melanie Orellana 3 years ago
Whomever dose s**t like this can burn in the lowest trench of hell.
Colleen Garland 3 years ago
It's cruel to do. Make their life style horrible and then they die too soon.
#22
School fundraisers.
If the government can't give schools enough funds, then everything is wrong.
#23
Repeatedly professing your love for someone after they tell you that they aren't interested.
The idea that you can "make" someone love you back if you just keep trying is rooted in toxicity, but romanticized in countless films and TV shows.
#24
Teachers giving up their Sick Days for some other teacher can have days off for Cancer Treatments.
#25
"If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best." In theory, I'm supposed to be a statement of unconditional love, but in reality it's just inviting toxic behavior with no way out
Pittsburgh rare 3 years ago
Every time I see someone quoting that, l run in the opposite direction
#26
The idea that feeling anger makes you a bad person, or that you are obligated to forgive absolutely everyone who has hurt you.
King Joffrey 3 years ago
Feeling anger doesn't make you a bad person, displaying anger to people who haven't caused it does.
#27
Any viral story about some kid selling [stuff] to pay for a relatives healthcare.
#28
Dolphins at SeaWorld and other family centers. They are generally all in a state of extreme mental health stress and have to be given drugs to keep them calm. In addition, the profits from capturing the best looking dolphins and selling them to these places fuel an annual dolphin hunt in Japan where the vast majority are sold for animal meat. It is a brutal practice where an extremely intelligent and sentient animal group is killed without painkillers in a slaughter.
#29
Receiving recognition for perfect attendance. My ass that you never got sick.
#30
Supporting someone no matter what choices they make. You can love someone to the ends of the earth, that doesn’t mean they will 100% be right all of the time, no matter how much you love or admire them.
#31
When people who are super spiritual and love love love all the time judge and ridicule you for not being in a good mood or for needing space. “You’re ruining the vibe” “this isn’t a hostile environment”- gaslighting is wrong and these people do it ALL THE TIME! I call them “the love police”.
#32
Any kind of 'tough love'. "Other people have it worse" or "Kids should get bullied to toughen up" (Yes someone actually said this to me).
Raine Soo 3 years ago
My mom was very big on tough love. She would try to nag me into submission. All it did was build up my resentment toward her. Yes, there was backtalk from my part, which infuriated her even more. I laugh about it now, but trust me, I was a frustrated teenager and young adult.
#34
Teachers working overtime/sacrificing for their students/fundraising for anything/etc. Most news articles that hit national headlines about teachers are toxic af.
"student raises money for his former teacher found living in a car"
"principal works 2nd job to help homeless students have clean clothes and food"
#35
Spending so much time on social media to show everyone else how wholesome your life is.
#36
Spouses being their partners EVERYTHING. it's okay to have other friends, actually it's even healthy to have a robust social life in which you get different things out of your relationships with different people
#37
Baby onesies that say stuff. Some are innocent...a lot are not. I'm a first time mom to a 6mo son. My child is not here to make grandma feel like a "mother without rules". And keep that "chick magnet" [nonsense] outta my face.
angie but who cares 3 years ago
some people are mad at having gay charecters in shows but will put baby girls in shat like this Screenshot...b3f9ed.png 
#38
"We're all just one big family!"
If anyone tells you this in a workplace setting, run. They're only like a family in the sense of the most toxic parts of one that exploit you.
#39
Youtube kids channels. The ones aimed at older audiences are literally better for a child than the kids ones.
#40
News stories like "CEO sees employee dumpster diving for food and buys them a headlamp"
or
"Kid works manual labor to pay off school lunch debt for entire class"
What do you think ?
Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
Can we go one day on BP without the "let's all sneer at someone else" posts, and just look at cute animals more?
Lauren Caswell 3 years ago
Yes i need cute and happy and less angst pls BP. Even just for a day. Fine me funnily timed photos and naughty pets and cutie patoot animals etc
Load More Replies...
Diane Aguilar 3 years ago
I've also gone beyond my point of tolerance of people from other countries sneering/looking down on the U.S. because their perceptions of this country are so heavily skewed. If people from this country are speaking out about things it needs to address to make it a better country that's one thing, but I am so absolutely fed up with people from outside the U.S. thinking they're better than us and that the U.S. is a toxic wasteland of a country. No it isn't, it's a wonderful country with great potential and resources and a lot of amazing people, but you're refusing to see that because you're so gung ho about hating on everything about the country that you don't want to acknowledge there are truly good about it. And I've had enough of the anti-American bullying on this site and other similar sites.
Samara Morgan 2 years ago
Maybe if Americans weren't so full of themselves, looking down on other nations and acting like they're heroes we wouldn't think they're stupid and self-centered.
kjorn 3 years ago
hiring woman BECAUSE you have a quota of woman, racial people, people with disability. it suck. i need people with skill... not a skin color, or genre. SKILLS!!!
Lorelai Purvis 3 years ago
did you mean to say gender instead of genre? because if so, keep it as genre. it's more fun.
Load More Replies...
Thomas Biorogue 3 years ago
I think people don't know what "Toxic" means. It's almost the way people misuse "Literally."
c.VIII 3 years ago
agreed. it's so overused the word itself aggravates me at this point.
Load More Replies...
Joe Mama 3 years ago
This is just my opinion, but I kind of think this post is toxic. The last thing we need is a list of things that make us angry/ more pointing fingers. I just want to see something positive, like cute little animals 😅
JT Thompson 3 years ago
I disagree with about half of these. I believe, if anything, it's the intention behind the action that makes it toxic. Example: growing up in New Orleans, some schools needed funding so fundraising helped kids with essentials. Also I feel this quote: "If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best" is taken out of context. It's more having to deal with someone who is having a rough time such as perhaps losing a job and people leaving because of that.
Penny Kemper 3 years ago
Most of them aren't toxic. But yes why Publicize your charity? The write doesn't like it and the rest of us don't care because we have bigger things to worry about.
Jordan Smith 3 years ago
Downvote me to hell, I dont care, but kids that do amazing things that everyone should know how to do. Let me explain. There was an incident recently where a kid performed CPR on his sister to save her life. Which that's great. But that isnt the issue. The issue is the parents now knowing what do to. Everyone should know how to do CPR. But they didnt, which is the issue. And they also didnt see that the daughter was choking, which is worse. So the last thing was for the kid to save his sister's life. If the parents were just a little bit smarter, then there would be no story there. It's simply just a kid knowing what to do when the parents suck.
Lisa Edmunds 3 years ago
Posting a happy birthday message on social media but I have to be in all of the pictures with the birthday girl. Why can't they just be pics of the person with the birthday?
Hedonism Bot 3 years ago (edited)
Some Youtube personality made a video about "uplifting" stories that are actually symptoms of major social ills (not unlike some if the entries on this list): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DXpKvlFQxEs
Sarah Grape 3 years ago (edited)
title: toxic things that pretend to be wholesome ~~ content: WhY aMeRiCa SuCkS
Matt Hiemstra 3 years ago
This should be entitled. You don't feel you are offended enough...here is a list of things that will make you a hit at any party.
TheAnimalLady 3 years ago (edited)
**The following was a rebuttal to Eslamala's highly downvoted comment which was moved to the lowest spot in this thread (so read hers B4U bash me): The kind of person who gives importance to anyone else's opinion... is normal. It's how we're conditioned and controlled from birth by our Love Bullies...and Capitalism. So belittling others for it is rude and hurtful.
Israel Martinez 3 years ago
For me, it's "I would die for my parent(s)" ... I doubt any parent would want to see their child sacrifice their future, especially after any sacrifices they may have already made for that child ... I don't know any parent that would put their child in that position ...
ivan bolitekurac 3 years ago
I have seen a few things that resembles hollywood actors and singers/artist.And yet,people worship them or find them cool.
Bean flavored Fujioshi 3 years ago
yeah i would...also cause you just made this post about your problem instead of the actual post(no offence)
Load More Replies... TheAnimalLady 3 years ago (edited)
Not really, Bean, she was just asking for opinions in a forum that is about the same subject, but with different people. Hoping (unsuccessfully) to find understanding LISTENERS and perspective (I'm guessing).
Caroline 3 years ago
Well, I feel you are a hypocrite, but that's my opinion. You think everyone is a model then. Okay. Very politically correct of you.
Lauren Caswell 3 years ago
The beauty of a baby isn't down to how 'normal' it is, in my opinion, it's the smiles, love, innocence and new life. But that's my opinion; it's different to yours, and that's okay. Personally I think calling babies with disabilities ugly, even if its your opinion, is unnecessary and not really something you should be surprised to be downvoted for. The whole "toxic body positivity" has nothing to do with babies with disabilities; apples and oranges.
TheAnimalLady 3 years ago
See Caroline, I think part of the problem may be people reading more into your comment than you actually said. Or they assumed it. That's what happened to me too. (& there's always semantics muddling things too.)
Caroline 3 years ago
Again, very woke of you to think everyone looks like a ravishing model. No one is average on earth, that's why everyone is so kind to everybody physically in real life. We're all stunners aren't we, because otherwise, we would not be worth anything or deserve to be loved. I get it.
TheAnimalLady 3 years ago
And considering personal preferences, who's to say what's beautiful or not. I think half the argument is literal vs figurative. Or I should say, one is thinking figurative and someone else thinking it's literal. I've been where you are (under attack by misunderstanding), but about animals. It's hard to convey nuances online. I think this whole beauty thing is vanity, but media and society hammered us from birth. Capitalism at it's finest 🙄.
Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
Can we go one day on BP without the "let's all sneer at someone else" posts, and just look at cute animals more?
Lauren Caswell 3 years ago
Yes i need cute and happy and less angst pls BP. Even just for a day. Fine me funnily timed photos and naughty pets and cutie patoot animals etc
Load More Replies... Diane Aguilar 3 years ago
I've also gone beyond my point of tolerance of people from other countries sneering/looking down on the U.S. because their perceptions of this country are so heavily skewed. If people from this country are speaking out about things it needs to address to make it a better country that's one thing, but I am so absolutely fed up with people from outside the U.S. thinking they're better than us and that the U.S. is a toxic wasteland of a country. No it isn't, it's a wonderful country with great potential and resources and a lot of amazing people, but you're refusing to see that because you're so gung ho about hating on everything about the country that you don't want to acknowledge there are truly good about it. And I've had enough of the anti-American bullying on this site and other similar sites.
Samara Morgan 2 years ago
Maybe if Americans weren't so full of themselves, looking down on other nations and acting like they're heroes we wouldn't think they're stupid and self-centered.
kjorn 3 years ago
hiring woman BECAUSE you have a quota of woman, racial people, people with disability. it suck. i need people with skill... not a skin color, or genre. SKILLS!!!
Lorelai Purvis 3 years ago
did you mean to say gender instead of genre? because if so, keep it as genre. it's more fun.
Load More Replies... Thomas Biorogue 3 years ago
I think people don't know what "Toxic" means. It's almost the way people misuse "Literally."
c.VIII 3 years ago
agreed. it's so overused the word itself aggravates me at this point.
Load More Replies... Joe Mama 3 years ago
This is just my opinion, but I kind of think this post is toxic. The last thing we need is a list of things that make us angry/ more pointing fingers. I just want to see something positive, like cute little animals 😅
JT Thompson 3 years ago
I disagree with about half of these. I believe, if anything, it's the intention behind the action that makes it toxic. Example: growing up in New Orleans, some schools needed funding so fundraising helped kids with essentials. Also I feel this quote: "If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best" is taken out of context. It's more having to deal with someone who is having a rough time such as perhaps losing a job and people leaving because of that.
Penny Kemper 3 years ago
Most of them aren't toxic. But yes why Publicize your charity? The write doesn't like it and the rest of us don't care because we have bigger things to worry about.
Jordan Smith 3 years ago
Downvote me to hell, I dont care, but kids that do amazing things that everyone should know how to do. Let me explain. There was an incident recently where a kid performed CPR on his sister to save her life. Which that's great. But that isnt the issue. The issue is the parents now knowing what do to. Everyone should know how to do CPR. But they didnt, which is the issue. And they also didnt see that the daughter was choking, which is worse. So the last thing was for the kid to save his sister's life. If the parents were just a little bit smarter, then there would be no story there. It's simply just a kid knowing what to do when the parents suck.
Lisa Edmunds 3 years ago
Posting a happy birthday message on social media but I have to be in all of the pictures with the birthday girl. Why can't they just be pics of the person with the birthday?
Hedonism Bot 3 years ago (edited)
Some Youtube personality made a video about "uplifting" stories that are actually symptoms of major social ills (not unlike some if the entries on this list): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DXpKvlFQxEs
Sarah Grape 3 years ago (edited)
title: toxic things that pretend to be wholesome ~~ content: WhY aMeRiCa SuCkS
Matt Hiemstra 3 years ago
This should be entitled. You don't feel you are offended enough...here is a list of things that will make you a hit at any party.
TheAnimalLady 3 years ago (edited)
**The following was a rebuttal to Eslamala's highly downvoted comment which was moved to the lowest spot in this thread (so read hers B4U bash me): The kind of person who gives importance to anyone else's opinion... is normal. It's how we're conditioned and controlled from birth by our Love Bullies...and Capitalism. So belittling others for it is rude and hurtful.
Israel Martinez 3 years ago
For me, it's "I would die for my parent(s)" ... I doubt any parent would want to see their child sacrifice their future, especially after any sacrifices they may have already made for that child ... I don't know any parent that would put their child in that position ...
ivan bolitekurac 3 years ago
I have seen a few things that resembles hollywood actors and singers/artist.And yet,people worship them or find them cool.
Bean flavored Fujioshi 3 years ago
yeah i would...also cause you just made this post about your problem instead of the actual post(no offence)
Load More Replies... TheAnimalLady 3 years ago (edited)
Not really, Bean, she was just asking for opinions in a forum that is about the same subject, but with different people. Hoping (unsuccessfully) to find understanding LISTENERS and perspective (I'm guessing).
Caroline 3 years ago
Well, I feel you are a hypocrite, but that's my opinion. You think everyone is a model then. Okay. Very politically correct of you.
Lauren Caswell 3 years ago
The beauty of a baby isn't down to how 'normal' it is, in my opinion, it's the smiles, love, innocence and new life. But that's my opinion; it's different to yours, and that's okay. Personally I think calling babies with disabilities ugly, even if its your opinion, is unnecessary and not really something you should be surprised to be downvoted for. The whole "toxic body positivity" has nothing to do with babies with disabilities; apples and oranges.
TheAnimalLady 3 years ago
See Caroline, I think part of the problem may be people reading more into your comment than you actually said. Or they assumed it. That's what happened to me too. (& there's always semantics muddling things too.)
Caroline 3 years ago
Again, very woke of you to think everyone looks like a ravishing model. No one is average on earth, that's why everyone is so kind to everybody physically in real life. We're all stunners aren't we, because otherwise, we would not be worth anything or deserve to be loved. I get it.
TheAnimalLady 3 years ago
And considering personal preferences, who's to say what's beautiful or not. I think half the argument is literal vs figurative. Or I should say, one is thinking figurative and someone else thinking it's literal. I've been where you are (under attack by misunderstanding), but about animals. It's hard to convey nuances online. I think this whole beauty thing is vanity, but media and society hammered us from birth. Capitalism at it's finest 🙄.
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