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34 Tales That Illustrate What A Solid Relationship Should Look Like, As Shared By Women Online
Helen Keller once said, “The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard, but must be felt with the heart,” and oh boy, did these r/AskWomen online community members feel it!
Today, Bored Panda garnered 34 of the most aww-worthy stories about moments that women have shared with their significant others. So, pull your chair in closer or your smartphone nearer and enjoy this wholesome ride.
More info: Reddit
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#1
It was our second date, toward the end. We were going back to his place, where I'd parked my car so he could show me local spots. First he asked permission to hold my hand, which melted me. Then he said "I don't mean this in a weird way at all, but do you want to come inside and meet my cats?"
That was 100% his intention. No weirdness at all. I'm a big cat person and I was delighted to meet his babies (which are now also my babies because we are married). It was really sweet that he wanted to introduce me to his cats. Big green flag and super wholesome.
#2
I have so many as I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost five years now. But one of the main ones that was one of the moments where I thought “oh I love this man” happened pretty early on. First, you should know my boyfriend is very quiet and stoic. He’s the kind of guy that sometimes intimidates people because he’s big (tall and broad) and just very introverted. People describe him as serious. (The truth is he’s not like that with people he knows well, but that’s another story!)
So, His neighbor had a small milkweed plant on the other side of his fence, which attracts monarchs. He didn’t know this, but one day there was a little green cocoon on his side of the fence. He sent me a picture because he thought I’d like to see it. He didn’t know at the time that bugs and butterflies specifically have a special meaning in my life and I got emotional. I kept it together and only told him he should check on it regularly to see when the butterfly comes out. He sorta mistook that and started sending me pictures of the cocoon every single day with updates lol. “Nothing yet. She’s still forming I think.” “I think she’s wiggling inside.” Stuff like that. He had no idea that what he was doing meant so much more to me.
He then proceeded to plant his own milkweed and look up other plants that attract other species of butterflies. Each little thing he did was entirely unprompted. He now has a full garden with flowers and veggies and herbs cuz he went all out during COVID. He even planted giant sunflowers and lavender bushes because he said they remind him of me. That brought us lots of bees! (which I also love!) Like when I say my heart is so full I feel like I’m still not even capturing it. I love him.
Jessica SpeLangm 1 year ago
He's DEFINITELY a keeper. I'm happily married, but if I wasn't does he have a brother?
#3
When we were dating I was young and dumb and had no idea how much alcohol I could handle (not much), and drank a whole bottle of a honey liqueur. I woke up the next morning in his parents guest room and he was lying on the floor next to me. I asked him why he was there and he said “you kept stopping breathing so I stayed here last night to make sure you were okay”. He never touched me, just made sure I was breathing, all night.
Now we’re married.
#4
My husband is a stoic man, he prefers to keep his emotions to himself and to show them in private, and he’s definitely not dramatic. On our wedding day we chose not to have a first look before the ceremony. As my Dad and I prepared to walk down the aisle, I was completely unprepared for my soon-to-be husbands reaction as he caught his first glimpse of me. His knees buckled and his eyes welled up with tears, his best man put an arm around his shoulders to steady him. For the first time in our 5 years together I watched him come unraveled emotionally and the whole time with this big smile on his face.
By the time we reached him, my Dad was all teary eyed along with half our guests. It was one of the sweetest moments of my life.
Mabelbabel 1 year ago
My husband's the same-he's not the most open person when it comes to talking, his love language is doing stuff for me (I think its called acts of affirmation?) But one day, we'd both taken the day off work, the kids were all in school and we just pottered around, not doing very much. Over brunch, he looked at me and said "You're my happy place" It was so unlike him, so unexpected that I just melted.
#5
Not sure it’s the most wholesome but I have been super sick lately and I’m almost 7 months pregnant. I asked my H to braid my hair the other night because I’ve been so exhausted. I expected him to just do a regular braid like usual but he opened up his computer, looked up a French braid YouTube tutorial and brushed my hair a bunch (he knows I love my hair being brushed) and braided my hair. He had to redo it a couple of times but it was so sweet.
We are having a baby girl and he said he wanted to learn how to do hair better so he can do mine and our girlie.
He also french braided my hair last night too haha
Jeevesssssss 1 year ago
That's TOTALLY wholesome and completely adorable! I'm mildly autistic and can find touch difficult but LOVE my hair being stroked. As a child, my mum worked FT and my dad stayed home with me so had to learn to do hair (tbh, he prob did a better job than my mum would have done lol 😆) and I'm doing a squinch-eye purring thing thinking of your situation 😊
#6
We’ve had a lot of those moments but recently a very silly and mundane thing triggered me to realize that he does these little things all the time. I have extreme ADHD and being present at all is both difficult and rare. My state of stimulation swings quickly, he’s found ways to help me stay in the good moments a little longer.
There is a massive park with ponds and trails across the road from our house. We realized getting a bag of duck food and going to the pond to feed the birds was relaxing and a nice way to hang out and talk, plus it costs us like $8 a week. There’s hundreds of ducks, but there is a group of larger swedish black/ blue ducks and runner ducks that tend to get bullied away from food by the army of little ones. However, if they can make it over to you they surround you and a lot of times want to eat out of your hands. I love those goofy weirdos. They’re incredibly gentle and it’s super rewarding to have the interaction with them and see them so happy to eat. The worst they ever do is pull at your pant leg like they’re plucking your feathers. It’s a very sweet activity that just makes you smile.
I had sat on a blanket, surrounded by these ducks squeaking at me to take a handful of food out for them when I realized what my husband was doing, and does all the time. He used his duck food to distract the rest of the duck hoard, and kept them strategically away from my little audience so I could have that experience all to myself without all the other competition. I had an entire bank of the pond for the ducks I was feeding, at least 8 that had fully surrounded me. I had to ask him if he does it on purpose and he said yes, but the answer to why was so much better.
Why does he do it? “Because it makes you happy so if it’s something that helps it get you there why wouldn’t I? That’s the goal right”
Fiery Llama 1 year ago
Not only a sweet story, what a great experience! I'm glad you both took the time to find this experience
#7
I have been with my husband for 18 years, and this happened when we were both young, I was 18, and he was 20.
My mom was in the hospital getting a hysterectomy. She had the procedure, and everything went well. That night around 2am, my aunt showed up at my boyfriends moms house where we were. She's screaming at me to get dressed, we have to get down to the hospital, something happened to mom. I'm dressed and gone in less than 5 minutes without saying a word to my boyfriend.
Not even 5 minutes after I had gotten into the hospital and started trying to understand what was happening, my boyfriend walked in. He had sped all the way there to make sure he was with me.
Long story short, she had a brain aneurysm and was taken off life support 2 days later. It was a crazy time in my life.
#8
We were cuddling together and I was having a rough time with my mental health. He was being a sweet heart and cuddling me, reassuring me that I was okay and loved. I told him that I knew I was loved and I never have to question that with him.
He got quiet and just held me tighter. We had a talk after and he elaborated on how it meant a lot to him that I was so sure in how much he cared since he's had some history with partner's questioning him. It was a rough moment for both of us and it was such a sweet connection for us.
#9
He got me tickets to the American museum of history in New York. He didn't like museums but he knew it meant so much to me. It wasn't just the basic ticket, we got the ultimate brand. As a teacher, I was in candy land.
SnackbarKaat 1 year ago
My hb took my kids with him the whole day in town so I could stroll in peace as long as I wanted in my fav history museum. Love him!
#10
I had shivering and really high fever where I had my room temp set to 90 (f) on a Summer 80+ degree weather. On top of that I had blankets upon blankets and jackets etc on me still I was really cold
And I called my husband who was quite far away and just 10 mins drive away from his destination.
And he took a U turn drove back
Came home, when he came to the room I just saw him closing the door and open his shirt and hop in bed with me.
His arm /hug on top of those blankets was that last level of heat I guess I needed or else my body just keeps on shivering.
And without any complaint he fell asleep with me even though for him I know the temp was like being baked in the oven.
And he did that throughout whenever my shiver came back without any complain.
#11
Small children make my big strong ruff scary man melt like butter. He is literally a toddler, animal magnet. Like stranger children we don’t know.
The first time a toddler decided to hug and love all over him it shocked me that he was so loving, gentle back with such confidence.
Terry Tobias 1 year ago
Children and animals know. When my niece was a baby, she would cry whenever my youngest sister was in the room. It turns out that my sister was a functioning alcoholic and our family was unaware of it. Once she stopped drinking and started recovery, my niece no longer cried when my sister was nearby. My mother believes that my sister had a darkness around her when she was drinking that my niece picked up on.
#12
How supportive my boyfriend is of the fact I am a widow.
My husband died almost 6 years ago. Heart attack. Came home from work to find him on the floor. We have 3 kids.
I met my boyfriend about 1.5 after he died and although we have our issues, he has never not been supportive around our wedding anniversary or my LH birthday. I still have pictures of my LH around and he’s never said a negative word.
I will always miss my husband but I am incredibly grateful that I have a wonderful, supportive man who realizes that my love for my LH in no way means I love him less. In fact, I think it makes me appreciate him more.
Tabitha 1 year ago (edited)
Nice to know there’s someone out there who isn’t jealous of their SO’s past relationships. Unless OP is obsessive about her late husband, to the point where it’s an unhealthy obsession, then her new SO has nothing to be jealous of. Reasonable people understand very well that another adult will have been in at least one relationship before they met each other, just like they did. If two people achieve adulthood—-not legal adulthood at 18, but older adulthood like in their 30s, and especially with kids—-and haven’t had previous relationship experience, then they’re an exception to the norm. My husband and I didn’t get married—-first marriage for both of us—-until we were pushing 40. We’d both been in a lot of long and short term relationships in the past, but we were both the first one we wanted to marry. I had even been engaged before (broken off, mostly by me, for various reasons), but he doesn’t hold them against me, or even try to compare himself to them. He had been in a very long term relationship in his twenties and early thirties, long enough to have been considered a common law marriage, though they don’t exist anymore, it I never held it against him, or tried to compare myself to her. If you value your relationship, you just DO NOT go there. Your life with your SO started fresh when on your first date, and anyone they were involved with before you stays in the past, as far as you’re concerned.
#13
I had a hemorrhagic ovarian cyst that impersonated appendicitis on New Year’s Eve several years ago. We had been dating for all of two months, he left his friends and the party he was at (I was supposed to join him after work) and came to the hospital to sit with me through all the tests and whatnot. He then dropped me off at my house went home packed a bag, came back to my place and just held me while the pain meds took effect and I was finally able to fall asleep. The next morning I woke up to an email from my aunt that grandma had been placed on hospice and he let me just cry all over him. That was my “I’m keeping you” moment.
Brainmas 1 year ago
Oh man, those cysts are no joke. The only time I've ever passed out in my life was due to a cyst rupture that just bled into my abdomen all night. When I finally got up to go to the hospital, I woke up on my back on the floor. Never seen my husband scared like that, but he handled it like a champ.
#14
A few months into dating my SO, I had to get my IUD replaced. I asked if he could pick me up after. He ended up showing up early so he could be in the waiting room to provide support. When it was time to actually replace my IUD, I got so tense and nervous that the nurse brought him in. He held my hand and held my face while I cried and he took such good care of me after.
I didn't think I was prepared to be that vulnerable with him yet but he showed up and made his love evident with his every action and word. Not romantic in the most traditional of senses, but I got the support I needed without asking for it and I knew that I had found the real deal.
LH25 1 year ago
Getting what you need is so much more romantic the cliches. If getting flowers and a nice evening out is what you want, great! If not, they can be a sign the SO isn't really paying attention. We had neighbors where the husband cheated a LOT. He would apologize with dozens of roses and a fancy meal. Then do it all over again. My hubby is one of those who may not say sweet nothings, but he shows his love in so many other ways. Making sure my car is running well. Being there as I fought cancer. Going way out of his way to get any food that sounded good during chemo. Going up on a weekend morning to get us lattes while I hang out in my PJs. On and on.
#15
When we were travelling in a tram for the first time.
We met that day after talking online for a long time.There were no seats empty as we both were standing. That tram would keep stopping abruptly and I was barely able to keep myself from falling using the handle as a support, so he grabbed me by my waist so effortlessly and gently, yet effectively; and yet he kept his limits and didn't make me uncomfortable for a single moment. I legit blushed at that simple gesture because it was so wholesome.
Since then there have been many such moments but that one stays special.
#16
When our son was born.
My husband isn't an emotional man, he is very in fact extremely stoic and very controlled. Before our son was born, I remember asking him if he thought he'd be emotional when the moment came and he said he didn't think it would be.
Cue the moment he arrived, I turned to my husband who was sobbing, while telling me how amazing I was. It was the most emotionally vulnerable I'd ever seen him in over seven years of knowing him. An already perfect shared moment in our lives was made better because I saw a pure moment of emotion in him on that day, which perfectly illustrated how much he loved and cared for me and his son.
#17
He was traveling and we were on a long stretch apart (think months) He was at the local bar and there was a singer there, just a dude and his guitar. Later, when the guy was on a break he had the guy play “our song” on the phone for me.
It totally floored me and was exactly what I needed at the time
#18
Anytime I catch my partner watching our daughter with twinkle eyes or hearing him talk about being her dad. It’s so wholesome and it’s catches me off guard every time because he’s not an emotional person. Also when he iniates affection with her. He’s the leash affectionate person I know and it’s something he had to actively remember to do. So knowing he’s putting in the effort to show her affection so she feels his love is so wholesome
Jeevesssssss 1 year ago
My dad and I used to have a s**t relationship. Real bad - on point on NC, only I talked to my mum (they're married) - it was rough, for several chaotic years. Now - he has done SO much work (and gets so much coaching from mum...) that our interactions are worlds away. We have pleasant conversations.
#19
My landlords decided to convert their property to an Airbnb, so they were kicking me out in a month. I live in a high cost of living area and was going to have a heck of a time finding a new place that I felt was like home. My boyfriend, who I’d been with for five months at the time, invited me to live with him without hesitation. He took me out to a restaurant and handed me a little gift bag. Inside was a custom super cute key to the front door of his house. It still makes my heart flutter :)
SincerelyMeesh 1 year ago
My fiancé did something similar. I was in a bad mental health episode at the time. My mom lives about three hours from me so moving in with her was not an option without upending my whole life. My fiancé and I decided to move in together earlier than originally planned so I had someone to keep an eye on me. The night I moved in he hands me a key that has a little house on it and says "home". I never want a different key to my home ever.
#20
A good friend passed away unexpectedly at the new year. That first week was very difficult due to grieving. One night, my SO folded and sorted all my clean laundry for me. We live together but typically do our own laundry. Folding laundry is a task that I generally dread, and I had literally two laundry baskets full of clean clothes that I needed to deal with. Both him doing it unasked AND not putting it away so I could put things where I wanted them was really really sweet.
Love that dude.
#21
My birthday is in February, and most of my family also has February birthdays. So we never have one party for each person, we just have a big combined party (we still get cake on our individual birthdays). I had gone over to my boyfriend's house on my birthday because I didn't plan on doing anything special. My boyfriend surprised me with a cupcake and candle, and just hugged me and sang happy birthday to me in Portuguese (his family is Brazilian). I'm so used to not really doing anything specifically for me on my birthday other than cake as a family, it meant a lot to me to just have a private moment with just us
#22
Maybe doesn't fit exactly, but he saved me from my abusive (at the time) husband. Moved me to a new address, which the douche didn't know, so I didn't have to worry that he would find me any more.
#23
I’m not sure it’s THE most wholesome moment but recently my husband and I watched 1899. Small amount of context and spoilers but a ship is sinking. A wife (who is clearly suffering from some sort of mental illness) is refusing to move to safety. Her husband, knowing he will die, refuses to leave and they, presumably, drown.
I turned to my husband and said something like “no! I can’t believe he stayed”. My husband said to me, incredibly earnestly, “I couldn’t leave you”.
This happened 2 months ago and I think about it a lot.
Donkey boi 1 year ago (edited)
Saw something similar, where a guy stayed behind to die with a girl that wouldn't leave because she was freaking out. My wife asked 'Would you stay if it was me?', my response was, 'I'd just carry you out! knock you out if I had to. I'd rather have an emotionally damaged you, than a dead you'. She just smiled at me and said, 'That's the right answer, good Boi'
#24
My nephew gifted him a book for Christmas. We went to bed and he wanted to read it and asked me if I wanted him to read it to me.
It was only one chapter, i imagine he will finish the book on his own, but the scene filled my heart with infinite love.
#25
Two events are top of my memory.
First was when I put my eldest childhood kitty down. My partner had grown to really love him despite him being a crotchety, vomity, wake us up every 2h at night meowing old man kitty. I was in emotional despair as my cat had come to me as a rescue kitten only days after my mom died when I was a teen, so I was feeling that loss again as well. Seeing my partner getting emotional and crying, and his care for me during the couple weeks or so after really made me see a new side of him, that he was not so closed in emotionally and made me really love him.
The second time has been with our daughter and it's every time I see them play and him having special moments with her. My heart grows bigger every time, and I really should remind myself of those moments when I'm feeling lonely.
#26
One Christmas when we were engaged, we went shopping for new Christmas items. We were browsing the stocking hangers and the one we liked came in a box of 4. I said that it was a shame since we only needed 2. My husband put a hand on my belly and said “Well not yet”. It is still the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard him say. It’s 8 years later and we still use those stocking hangers for us and our two kids.
#27
The evening after the baby shower for our son most people had left and it was just a handful of good friends.He got a little..or a lot tipsy and started telling everyone how much he loved me and that he's so happy to have me in his life. Then he started crying because he was so happy. It was so freaking adorable. My husband has a big sensitive side that he's not afraid to hide but just seeing him be so vulnerable and open in that moment with me and his friends was just so wholesome.
Yes, it did surprise me because this was before we were even married or engaged. Now some might blame it on the booze, but he remembered everything the next day and told me he was speaking the truth. ❤️
#28
I recently had a bad panic attack/existential crisis which I’m still kind of recovering from, and have since developed a huge anxiety about death. I was crying to my boyfriend about how I was scared that there’s nothing after this and he held me and said “Even if there is nothing, we’ll find each other in the nothingness and be nothing together”. It made me cry and it was exactly what I needed to hear. I remind myself of that every time I feel myself spiraling.
#29
Some months into dating, everytime he was leaving my house I would tell him I loved him and he'd say it back. Then he would hug me and get a bit emotional with tears in his eyes, happy tears. It was so sweet and the biggest reassurance that he really did love and appreciate me. I also loved that he didn't try to hide his emotions as previous boyfriends did.
#30
I was feeling sick and he surprised me by appearing at my doorstep with soup. I then wanted to offer him a walk in the park cause I was feeling better but as we started drinking tea in the kitchen we didn't notice time fly. We basically spent 2 hours just sitting holding hands, mostly in silence... Best day ever.
#31
Him actually picking me up off my feet. Happened Monday. He was so proud of himself, it was the cutest thing ever. He's in his first ever relationship. I'm in my third... Never had anyone do that to me.
He's addicted to picking me up, haha.
Keating_5 1 year ago
My now-husband picked me up and spun me around when we were dating in high school because I dared him he couldn’t do it since I’m a big girl. It was an absolutely magical moment for me and even after we broke up shortly after that (we later started dating again back in college when we were a little more mature, then got married), I always thought about that in every relationship I was in afterwards. When we started dating again I brought it up and he immediately picked me up again, still magical!
#32
Every morning during the work week he makes me coffee, sing to wake me up and read a chapter of the book we’re reading that month to help me not fall back asleep.
It’s the perfect way to wake up. I’m a spoiled baby boo
#33
There’s been so many but one that blew my mind recently was the moment we found out I was pregnant with twins. I was shocked, horrified, terrified, etc and he was only…excited. Not a single negative emotion. We lost one twin at 12 weeks and it hit him pretty hard. He told me in that moment he’d realized he’d always wanted a big family and he hadn’t ever admitted it to himself. After this one there’s a huge change I’d get pregnant with twins again and we’re in our mid 30’s so unfortunately we’ve had to make the decision to stop at 2 kids but if you’d have asked me how he would have handled finding out he was having twins, it would not have been pure elation, that’s for sure. I’ll never forget that moment.
Octopus 1 year ago
You should adopt! If you want a big family, (unless only one of you does, then stick with the two, or if you can't afford/aren't able to provide a good childhood) nothing's stopping you! And there are some kids out there that would settle for any type of family, big or small, so as not to be alone.
#34
I fell asleep on the couch by accident and instead of going to the comfy queen mattress in the bedroom, my boyfriend got a pillow and blanket and slept next to me on the floor.
What do you think ?
Krissy Bulan 1 year ago
This is embarrassing and gross but when we were early on in our dating, I had to use his bathroom. I had a "bad stomach" and the toilet clogged up. I looked all around his bathroom for a plunger but couldn't find one. I sheepishly came out and told him I clogged his toilet and without a word he found a plunger and unclogged it. He never made fun of me or made me feel embarrassed and that made me realize what a great guy he was. We'll be celebrating our 16th wedding anniversary on November 3rd :)
Eastendbird 1 year ago (edited)
It's nice to be reminded about all the good men out there. Mr Eastendbird is one of them. I spent my younger years being fooled by sweet talking guys who would say the most romantic things a woman could wish for, but whose actions didn't match up. Mr E is probably the least romantic man I've ever met, but he's also the kindest, most generous, caring man too. Ladies - it's not what he says that matters, it's how he treats you!
Auntriarch 1 year ago
Yes indeed! Mr Auntriarch has never (unlike his substandard predecessors) told me he loves me. Do I care, not a jot, because he lives it instead. And on Monday he will be driving his cantankerous mother in law to an appointment in another town, I didn't even ask him...
Load More Replies... Muscrat 1 year ago
I'd been with my SO 4 months when I was rushed into hospital on his birthday ended up in surgery for 6 hours and they wouldn't tell him a thing due to GDPR and not being my next of kin. he sat and waited for me to wake up. A year later found out I had thyroid cancer on his bday again and underwent surgery for 4 hours and treatment and he never left my side. 12 yrs later married and 5 beautiful children. I knew he was a keeper from that first surgery. Most men would have ran. I was 32 he was 23. He also took on my 3 children from my previous marriage at 23. The man is a hero. Love the bones off him. He saved me from DV and from my self and the downward spiral of self destruct I was on. I thank my lucky stars every day for our paths crossing when they did. Never believed in soul mates before but I know he is the one. He always will be until there is no air in my lungs
MoMcB 1 year ago
Isn't it wonderful to find a good man when you've been with an abusing a*****e. I thank my lucky stars every day for my husband.
Load More Replies... Krissy Bulan 1 year ago
This is embarrassing and gross but when we were early on in our dating, I had to use his bathroom. I had a "bad stomach" and the toilet clogged up. I looked all around his bathroom for a plunger but couldn't find one. I sheepishly came out and told him I clogged his toilet and without a word he found a plunger and unclogged it. He never made fun of me or made me feel embarrassed and that made me realize what a great guy he was. We'll be celebrating our 16th wedding anniversary on November 3rd :)
Eastendbird 1 year ago (edited)
It's nice to be reminded about all the good men out there. Mr Eastendbird is one of them. I spent my younger years being fooled by sweet talking guys who would say the most romantic things a woman could wish for, but whose actions didn't match up. Mr E is probably the least romantic man I've ever met, but he's also the kindest, most generous, caring man too. Ladies - it's not what he says that matters, it's how he treats you!
Auntriarch 1 year ago
Yes indeed! Mr Auntriarch has never (unlike his substandard predecessors) told me he loves me. Do I care, not a jot, because he lives it instead. And on Monday he will be driving his cantankerous mother in law to an appointment in another town, I didn't even ask him...
Load More Replies... Muscrat 1 year ago
I'd been with my SO 4 months when I was rushed into hospital on his birthday ended up in surgery for 6 hours and they wouldn't tell him a thing due to GDPR and not being my next of kin. he sat and waited for me to wake up. A year later found out I had thyroid cancer on his bday again and underwent surgery for 4 hours and treatment and he never left my side. 12 yrs later married and 5 beautiful children. I knew he was a keeper from that first surgery. Most men would have ran. I was 32 he was 23. He also took on my 3 children from my previous marriage at 23. The man is a hero. Love the bones off him. He saved me from DV and from my self and the downward spiral of self destruct I was on. I thank my lucky stars every day for our paths crossing when they did. Never believed in soul mates before but I know he is the one. He always will be until there is no air in my lungs
MoMcB 1 year ago
Isn't it wonderful to find a good man when you've been with an abusing a*****e. I thank my lucky stars every day for my husband.
Load More Replies...
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