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The night I met my partner, we started chatting at a birthday party for a mutual friend and didn’t stop talking until about 6 in the morning. We both knew immediately that there was something special between us, and fast forward to 5 years later, we’re still going strong. Of course, the story is a lot more complicated than that, but sometimes, the green flags are just waving so boldly and brightly that you can't possibly deny them. 

We’re all used to looking for red flags on dates, and it’s easy to come up with a laundry list of them. But what about green flags? Perhaps you realize that you’ve both been to several of the same concerts, he knows the recipe for your favorite food by heart, or you both have the same dietary preferences. Ding, ding, ding: green flags!

I hope you’re in the mood to have your hearts warmed, pandas, because down below, we’ve got some of the sweetest date stories the internet has ever heard. 2 weeks ago, Reddit user EmCWolf13 asked other users to share some of the “green flags” they’ve encountered on dates before, and they did not disappoint.

So be sure to upvote the replies that you think would make an excellent rom-com, and feel free to share your personal stories of wholesome dating experiences in the comments below. Keep reading to also find a chat we were lucky enough to have with EmCWolf13 about why she started this conversation in the first place, and then if you’d like to check out another Bored Panda article featuring green flags to look for in new relationships, look no further than right here!

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#1

40 Wholesome "Green Flags" That People Noticed In Their Dates That Made Them Want To Go On Another Date Not first date, but the moment I knew I was gonna marry this man...
We went grocery shopping. It was about 9pm, we had both just been paid. The young lady in line in front of us had a very young baby, and was paying with WIC coupons and a food stamp EBT card. Her total came to about $22, and she was holding a $20. She looked dejected, and put back the one and only thing that was probably her splurge, a candy bar and an energy drink. Other than that, she had baby food, diapers, chicken, rice, bananas, formula, wipes, the bare minimum. I turned around to tell my now-husband to hand me my wallet.

I didn't have to. He already had his out, took out a $50 bill, handed it to her and told her to keep the change. He changed her week, he changed my life. That was THE moment I knew he was it for me.

KknhgnhInepa0cnB11 , Karolina Grabowska Report

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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That is beautiful. He felt the same way and made the first move.

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To learn more about what sparked this conversation in the first place, we reached out to Reddit user EmCWolf13. "I was inspired to ask about 'green flags' because unfortunately, typical discussions about dating and romance focus on negative events and things to avoid," she shared with Bored Panda. "I wanted to get people thinking about the happy experiences they've had, and hopefully encourage a more positive discussion."

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We also asked EmCWolf13 about any green flags she has personally come across in her own dating life. "As many of the comments said, a major 'green flag' for me is when a person I'm out with is kind to waitstaff, especially if there's a delay or other circumstance that might cause someone to be snappy or rude," she shared. "Being patient and understanding are qualities I value in a partner."
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#2

40 Wholesome "Green Flags" That People Noticed In Their Dates That Made Them Want To Go On Another Date He took me to an amateur stand up comedy night. He was heartily laughing at all the jokes. They were so bad. So not funny at all. I was planning to not go on another date with him because he obviously has a bad sense of humor. As we were walking to the car he commented how bad everyone was, but he wanted to encourage them so he laughed at everyone’s jokes. We’ve been married for 12 years now.

Ruined-prophet , Dean Johnson Report

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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hope they became more than amateur after that and were sucessful!

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#3

40 Wholesome "Green Flags" That People Noticed In Their Dates That Made Them Want To Go On Another Date She came to my door and my puppy got excited. Without skipping a beat, she scooped up the dog & asked where **the 3 of us** were going.

That was 19 years ago. Puppy is gone but we've stuck together through hell and back.

Civilian216 , Helena Lopes Report

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"Another 'green flag' is when a potential partner remembers something small about me or brings up a part of our past conversations; it shows that they are paying attention to me and value our time together," EmCWolf13 shared. "For instance, my partner once brought me my favorite type of chocolate bar simply because he had seen it at a store checkout and thought of me. That sort of thing just makes me melt - pun intended!"
#4

40 Wholesome "Green Flags" That People Noticed In Their Dates That Made Them Want To Go On Another Date When my girlfriend and I had our first date her mom sent her with 50 bucks (just in case I made her pay I guess) and since I payed, she made the waiter cry by tipping him the whole 50 bucks, apparently he was having a bad day

therealandy04 , Antony Trivet Report

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#5

40 Wholesome "Green Flags" That People Noticed In Their Dates That Made Them Want To Go On Another Date My cat liked him and my cat didn't like anyone but me. We're still together nearly a decade later. Always trust the cat.

TheBlanketFortPirate , Raychan Report

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1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was dating two guys, and my cat hissed at one and purred and cuddled with the other. I’ve now been married 22 years to the one he liked.

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We were also curious what would be considered a deal breaker for EmCWolf13. "In a similar vein, a red flag for me is when a potential partner is rude to others or complains about things that aren't really a big deal - demanding better service from someone who's already trying their best, or mentioning how slow a person is walking, for example," she told Bored Panda.

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"How a person treats a stranger can be a good indicator for how they will treat you and your loved ones, and if they get very easily annoyed, that puts me on edge," she noted. "A more 'shallow' red flag would be a person not making an effort to be presentable. Of course, they don't have to be wearing the latest and greatest fashion or fancy brands, but at least be clean and dress accordingly for the activity you have planned together!"
#6

40 Wholesome "Green Flags" That People Noticed In Their Dates That Made Them Want To Go On Another Date I asked if she wanted to go to MDonalds and split some fries because that’s all I could afford at the time. She said sure, we talked a long time and split a large fries and she was so chill about it. She wanted to be with me, anywhere would have been ok…. I knew if she was willing to go out with a broke and struggling me, she would also be willing to build a life with me from the ground up. We have been married 35 years, through ups and downs, kids, sickness, wealth and poverty.

OpieandEarl , Ian Sane Report

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Sonja
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's how it's done guys! That's how to date! Dates are not there to impress each other or a down payment for sex. Dates are to get to know each other, to spend time with each other and to talk and get closer. If you don't want to go on a date, just to be with that person at that time, just to have a good time together, then you're doing it wrong

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#7

40 Wholesome "Green Flags" That People Noticed In Their Dates That Made Them Want To Go On Another Date Was just laid off the week before our second date, called her to cancel, I was down and unsure about my next move, she asked me what kind of pizza I fancy, 1 hour later she's at my doorstep with pizzas and beer to cheer me up, married 12 years. Love you my bada** plumber.

nurglinguiniol , Toa Heftiba Report

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#8

40 Wholesome "Green Flags" That People Noticed In Their Dates That Made Them Want To Go On Another Date We stayed at the wine bar much longer than planned, and we were trying to race to a restaurant for food before places closed. So, I offered her a piggyback ride to run it, due to her wearing heels. She jumped on, threw her arm forward and yelled "Onward!"

We didn't make it to the restaurant in time, but did end up at the nearby diner for a few more hours. Been married just passed 3 years now, and leaving for our honeymoon (FINALLY, thanks COVID), in 10 hours.

Devlin7 , Katerina Holmes Report

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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Congrats! May you be be blessed with many years together!

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We also asked EmCWolf13 if she believes an excellent first date can be a sign that two people are meant to be together. "I think a great first date certainly goes a long way towards establishing a relationship that will last!" she shared. "It's all about being comfortable with the other person and finding someone who has a similar 'vibe' so to speak. First dates can be super awkward at times, but it's all about how you two handle anything weird that might happen. If you're both able to approach any conflicts or potential deal-breakers with compassion and understanding, you're well on your way to building a quality relationship."

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#9

40 Wholesome "Green Flags" That People Noticed In Their Dates That Made Them Want To Go On Another Date On our third date we watched a movie at his place. He remembered that on our first date I ordered a Dr pepper with my meal and a chocolate chip cookie for dessert. He had Dr peppers for me in the fridge and made me home made chocolate chip cookies. He burned them but I married him two years later anyways.

cassiecas88 , Hannah Busing Report

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#10

40 Wholesome "Green Flags" That People Noticed In Their Dates That Made Them Want To Go On Another Date I'm divorced - for many reasons, but it all can be summed up that I suffered a spinal cord injury, resulting in paraplegia, and my then-husband couldn't deal with that.

My first date with my now bf of 4+ years, he treated me like a human, not the disabled girl. It never came up in conversation, and he behaved like it didn't exist. It was so gorgeous that he (sorry for the cliche/corniness) didnt see my wheelchair. To this day, he's just never made it a deal. He understands the quirks it creates, but never ever seems bothered by any of it. In fact, he spent a serious chunk of his own change putting a ramp on his house for me. I don't think we'll ever get married (he's divorced, too, and we're both kind of jaded against the institution). But he's definitely my forever person.

Kriket308 , CDC Report

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#11

On the first date with my now husband, I immediately smelled on him that he smoked cigs, which was a deal breaker for me. So I told him that. His response - then I quit.

And that was that... Ten years of addiction and he quit like it was nothing for a woman he only just met.

Later on in our relationship he told me that it was an easy decision because he felt in our first date that he had met his wife, so what was a small sacrifice like quitting smoking in exchange for me?

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We also asked the Redditor if she thinks we should all be looking for "green flags" when dating, as well as red flags. "I definitely think it's important to take a step back and remember the positives when considering a potential partner," she told Bored Panda. "Of course, you don't want to totally disregard something sketchy or a clear incompatibility, but I think we as a society also need to remember that other people are just that: people, like us."

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"Giving someone the benefit of the doubt, especially on a first date where they're likely nervous, can lead to opportunities you wouldn't have had if you were too quick to write the person off," EmCWolf13 explained. "Even if you decide not to pursue a relationship, you still get to learn about yourself and figure out what you need from a partner."
#12

40 Wholesome "Green Flags" That People Noticed In Their Dates That Made Them Want To Go On Another Date Two green flags from the same man .
1st : Thought he was gonna be my first casual hook up. We were both high as kites when meeting (as you do at a music festival) and the next day WHILE I DEADA** CALLED HIM A DIFFERENT NAME he had already memorized my name & difficult surname and was making plans to see me next weekend .

2nd : The first official date I had to change/reschedule as my mentally handicapped sister needed babysitting. I told him and he suggested coming over if I was OK. I thought , cool , trial by fire to see how he reacts to my sister (she is a great litmus test to see of people are decent or not). He comes over, was a bit awkward and then totally just bonded with her , took my ques and learned how to speak to her and what she was comfortable with.

We are now 8 years together , 5 years married , 3 cute pets , a new house in an awesome country and trying for a baby:D . Life is good and he is my everything...... still call him the different name occasionally just for fun though XD .

Roxyroo92 , Antoine J. Report

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#13

40 Wholesome "Green Flags" That People Noticed In Their Dates That Made Them Want To Go On Another Date We met up for park beers on our first date. From the get go, things just felt natural. The conversation flowed, we laughed, and it felt more like meeting with an old friend than a first date. When it got dark, she brought me back to hers to meet her cat (no innuendo, we waited a few dates to bang, and I just really love cats.) We didn't plan to, but we met up the next day. And the next. Took her to a family BBQ two weeks in, and they loved her. That easy, natural feeling never left. And right now her cat (now our cat) is screaming at me for dinner.

maxhax , Julia M Cameron Report

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#14

40 Wholesome "Green Flags" That People Noticed In Their Dates That Made Them Want To Go On Another Date Took her out for coffee. We ended up staying for lunch, and then getting dinner. We talked for eleven hours. We've been married twelve years. We can still talk for hours.

Gunnrhildr , Marina Abrosimova Report

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"Overall, I think it's beneficial to look for the 'green flags' when dating, as well as throughout daily life," EmCWolf13 shared. "There's so much good in the world, but unfortunately, we're wired to focus on the negatives (thanks, evolution). Consciously looking for positive situations and good qualities in others is a great way to improve your mood and outlook on life. As Mr. Rogers said, 'Look for the helpers. They're always there.'"

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#15

I have a son from my previous marriage. At dinner I told him flat out my son will always be my first priority and if he couldn’t handle that then there was no point wasting each other’s time, that my son had a damn good dad so I didn’t want a dad for my son but if we ever got serious enough for me to let him into my son’s life my expectations of him would be to be positive influence, a mentor and someone my son could count on to support him and love him. There would be times where I would be busy doing mom things like taking care of a sick kiddo, a babysitter canceled, there’s a game or school event I needed to be at, homework I needed to stay home and help with, etc and if he couldn’t understand and accept that there was no place for him in my life. He just looked at me and said that’s what a good mom does and it shouldn’t be any other way.

He told me later he knew at that moment on our first date I was the woman he was going to marry and he vowed to make sure we never went without anything as long as he was in our lives. Here we are almost 10 years later married for almost 8. He loves my son as much as I do, he would do anything in the world for us and I don’t doubt he would die for either one of us.

How I knew he was the one was when I was sicker than a dog, I literally couldn’t get out of bed. We had only been casually dating for about 6 weeks but he came over with pizza, chicken noodle soup, ginger ale, tea, honey, lemons and some video games. He fed my son pizza and me soup, made me tea, held my hair while I projectile vomited all over my bathroom, cleaned up my mess, put me to bed, played video games with my son, got him to bed, got him up for school, made breakfast and a lunch for him, dropped him off at school and then called out of work to take care of me. He cleaned my house, did my dishes, did my laundry, changed the sheets on my bed while I took a shower and stayed cuddled up on the couch with my sick a*s all day, then met my son at the bus stop and made us dinner. My son looked at me and said mommy I like your friend, can he stay here more? I fell in love with him that day. The way he cared about my son and about me and how he jumped in to help with no expectations just wanting to make sure I was taken care of and my son was safe and taken care of. We got engaged a year later and married a year after that. My son is 16 now and my husband is his best friend still. They love each other so much and they are always together, he’s at all my son’s games, he helps with homework, he plays video games with him, he takes him fishing and camping, taught him how to drive, he treats my son like his own child and the bond they have is incredible.

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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't get some people I see commenting on the internet: "I would never date a singel mum because I would never be her first priority". 🤦‍♀️ Well duh, you're a grown a*s man that can take care of yourself, against a kid! This guy above gets it. 👍

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#16

40 Wholesome "Green Flags" That People Noticed In Their Dates That Made Them Want To Go On Another Date Wasn't our first date.......but I only had a few dates with someone I was dating rather long distance. I was stationed on Sardegna, and she lived in Liguira, so just to have a date, required ferries and long train rides, and sometimes short flights....which were always a hassle.,.....but we tried to make it work. My ship would go to Toulon, France, or Naples, Italy, and we'd tried to meet up , even if only for a few hours.

On our 4th or 5th date.......my ship was going to Livorno, so we agreed to try to meet up in Pisa. Seemed like a plan, and doable. But right before leaving, I felt terrible..... but thought maybe it would pass. It didn't..........the train ride was insufferable, I was burning with fever.....chills, the whole 9 yards......and all I remember was pulling into Pisa, and there she was, on the platform, waiting for my train. I stepped off the train, and literally just passed out in her arms. I mean, out cold.

I woke up in a hotel bed.....and she was sitting there, holding a cup of tea for me.

and I was like, what the hell happened?

Apparently, right after I passed out, she grabbed a taxi driver, and together they dragged me across the street to the nearest hotel, she got a room, and put me to bed. And then just sat there, all night watching me.

I have no memory of any of that. I just woke up in a bed, with her holding a cup of tea...........because she saw that I was starting to stir,........so she went to get me a cup of tea.

I just remember thinking............damn, I need to marry this woman.

and I did.

and that was the last cup of tea the damn woman ever made me.

The_REAL_McWeasel , Anna Pou Report

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#17

40 Wholesome "Green Flags" That People Noticed In Their Dates That Made Them Want To Go On Another Date Random dance at a club. She held my hand after it ended. We were married 24 years before she passed due to cancer.

robrtsmtn , Aleksandr Popov Report

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We hope you're enjoying this heartwarming list, dear pandas. Remember never to settle when dating, and keep a close eye out for those green flags. We would love to hear the green flags that made you swoon when you first met your partner in the comments down below, and then if you're interested in reading another article highlighting gorgeous green flags to search for when in a new relationship, you can find that right here!
#18

Pretty cool story.

First date with my now wife. Had plans to go to a fancy Italian restaurant. I show up a bit early, dressed as nice as my wardrobe allows, a couple drinks before she gets there.

But anyway she arrives and we enjoy dinner, drinks, appetizers, dessert. The works.

Anyway when it’s time for thee check the waitress comes over and says “a person who prefers to remain anonymous picked up yalls tab and told me to tell y’all to continue to enjoy the night.”

We were both shocked. I wasn’t keeping tabs but this was an expensive meal we just had. I tipped well of course and I thought to myself the only reason anyway would do that is they say an obvious first date unfolding and thought we were cute/happy/genuine or something.

We both felt pretty special. Been married for 3 years. Together for 8. We eventually paid it forward to another young couple years later.

Total boss move btw. Definitely feel good about yourself.

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Mune
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What if the wife slipped away to pay and didn't let the husband know 😂

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#19

40 Wholesome "Green Flags" That People Noticed In Their Dates That Made Them Want To Go On Another Date On our first date, our conversation was natural enough that the waitress asked us how long we had been married. The answer is 20 years now.

ThePhiff , Keriliwi Report

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Stephanie Isley
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This happened to my husband and I too and it was a blind date. The waitress was genuinely shocked

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#20

Among other things we talked about books, and at some point I asked for some recommendations. He said he had to think about it, but I didn't expect him to actually do.

The next day he texted me a list of his favorite books, showing that he had been really thinking about me and that he didn't care about those weird texting rules (that you shouldn't text the day after a date so you won't seem too eager)

Also just the fact that he wanted to talk about books

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#21

40 Wholesome "Green Flags" That People Noticed In Their Dates That Made Them Want To Go On Another Date He asked permission to give me a hug. Second date he asked permission to kiss me. We've been married 7 years now.

mommaTmetal , Đỗ Linh Report

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#22

40 Wholesome "Green Flags" That People Noticed In Their Dates That Made Them Want To Go On Another Date First date, she was driving us to a spot to go hiking, about an hour’s drive. We’re talking and talking, but every once in a while we wouldn’t be talking, and it just felt so comfortable and not awkward being silent together.

kamuelak , Vlada Karpovich Report

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#23

40 Wholesome "Green Flags" That People Noticed In Their Dates That Made Them Want To Go On Another Date Current husband of 20 years canceled first date about 30 minutes before because there was a very slim possibility that he might get an unexpected couple of hours with his daughters that night (divorced with two daughters).

sears_wish_book , Chelsey Faucher Report

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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Didn't know you yet, and showed how he values the people important to him.

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#24

40 Wholesome "Green Flags" That People Noticed In Their Dates That Made Them Want To Go On Another Date He farted, looked me dead in the eyes, and said "erase the stigma".

We are currently engaged and have been together for 6 years.

wscuraiii , Kampus Production Report

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glowworm2
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My boyfriend would always look so ashamed and apologize whenever he ripped a loud one. Me? I’d just laugh my head off! He didn’t need to feel terrible about it.

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#25

We had been dating about 6 months and she showed up at my apartment with a homemade cake on my birthday. It might sound like no big deal to some people but I had never dated a girl who cared about my birthday. I almost dropped to my knees and cried when I opened the door.

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F. Jeske
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Was married to one that didn't even remember my birthday most of the time. Divorced now.

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#26

40 Wholesome "Green Flags" That People Noticed In Their Dates That Made Them Want To Go On Another Date She stopped at GameStop on the way over to grab another wii controller so that my roommate could play Super Mario 3D world with us on the wii-u she was bringing with her.

That was almost 8 years ago : )

Ok-Discussion2246 , Ron Lach Report

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#27

She listened to what I said and also contributed to the conversation. Was the first time I found a girl who did that and five years later as of today were still going strong. A week from now if I’m lucky she’ll say yes and she’ll go from an amazing gf to fiance

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#28

The date was supposed to just be getting a drink or two. We stayed until the place was closing down and even then the date wasn’t over- we watched Donnie Darko and he made us cookies. We’ve been together for almost 10 years and married for 5.

Everyone should have someone they’re unwilling to say goodbye to.

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#29

Not a first date, but about maybe two weeks into seeing each other. He saw a friend of mine for the first time that night and we had fun. However, I began crying in front of him and my friend because someone I used to date messaged me telling me he doesn't need me anymore and that me setting him up with someone proves he can easily move on from me and that I'm nothing but the past and I don't mean anything.

This guy I barely knew at that time sat me down, gave me some blankets, and told me I'm not going to entertain or host anything until he knows I feel better. He then tried making me some hot cocoa but couldn't figure out the Keurig, so I laughed/cried as I showed him how to do it. My friend told him it was the nicest thing anyone ever did for me, and he was deeply confused because, "this is the bare minimum for someone to do, what are you talking about?"

And we're engaged now 8 years later.

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#30

40 Wholesome "Green Flags" That People Noticed In Their Dates That Made Them Want To Go On Another Date She saw a hummingbird start to circle some flowers on the patio we were dining on and had to pause the conversation to just watch the little guy.

jackatman , Dorian Wallender Report

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FakeOptimist
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Relatable : I was distracted by a butterfly once, she preferred her phone. No second date ofc.

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#31

Went on a first date with a girl, check came and I tried to grab it and she said, "if you pay for the whole thing there won't be a second date, if we split it ill see you next weekend" smoooooth

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#32

40 Wholesome "Green Flags" That People Noticed In Their Dates That Made Them Want To Go On Another Date He made it clear it was a date and that he was interested without it ever feeling creepy or like he was pressuring me for anything. We talked for hours, went from restaurant to walking up and down the river to my place for a beer, then I offered for him to stay over but on a mattress on the floor (I was in a studio with no couch), not in my bed and he wasn’t pushy about anything more happening.


The first few weeks he was always sweet and respectful but made it so clear that he was interested in a relationship, no back and forth or second guessing. And now we’re married!

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#33

40 Wholesome "Green Flags" That People Noticed In Their Dates That Made Them Want To Go On Another Date She told me it was because I said I liked cats

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#34

She told me to! She said, "See? Was that so bad? Now ask me out for another."

Wifey and I met in the Marine Corps. I was a Sgt, she was a PFC. I was busy working on my career, she was there for the GI Bill. We started running together and finally one day, after a couple of months, she yelled at me, "ARE YOU EVER GOING TO ASK ME OUT???"

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#35

40 Wholesome "Green Flags" That People Noticed In Their Dates That Made Them Want To Go On Another Date He asked if it was okay if he checked his phone as he left work to meet up with me, but still had things in flight he needed to pay attention to. I appreciated he valued his time with me but also wanted to be present for his team. Even now, two years later, he still asks.

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#36

40 Wholesome "Green Flags" That People Noticed In Their Dates That Made Them Want To Go On Another Date We had so much fun. Laughed the whole time. At the end he bought silly string and we chased each other around a parking lot with it like we were the only people on the planet

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WindySwede
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dance, and spray silly string, like no one is watching :)

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#37

walking her home, she accidentally stepped on a snail. she felt really bad about it.

almost married her right there.

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#38

The banter and chemistry was instantaneous. 32 years later and three kids later, the banter and chemistry is still there.

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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Been married to the same man over 30 years (I think it's been 33). Empty nesters and loving it too. We love going out, talking, or just hanging out together. Still holding hands too.

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#39

40 Wholesome "Green Flags" That People Noticed In Their Dates That Made Them Want To Go On Another Date A two hour date that felt like five minutes. At the end of it she made some silly bet with me that she said if she lost, she’d go out with me again. And of course she lost.

It was about eight green flags

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#40

40 Wholesome "Green Flags" That People Noticed In Their Dates That Made Them Want To Go On Another Date We went to a fairly fancy place, and I have the palete of a 5yr old. I can typically find something anywhere but I was going through the menu and there is basically nothing I can make remotely edible for me. But they have Mac and cheese. We're in our early thirties, and we're at a fancy place. There's no way I can order Mac and cheese and not look like a toddler.

The waiter comes around, I am basically having a panic attack in my head, I let her order first.

She orders the Mac and cheese.

OMFG

I order the Mac and cheese too.

We go and see a live jazz show. We're leaving and it had snowed while we were in the show.

I don't remember how it came up, but I made some joke about doing donuts in the parking lot and to my extreme surprise she said something along the lines of "hell yeah, I've never done donuts in a parking lot".

I put the Forester through it's paces. Turned traction control off and got the side widows coated in snow. She was laughing like a school girl the entire time.

We hung out a few more times and parted ways as friends. There was a significant class difference. She was staying in her parents multi-million dollar home *on* the ocean, and my parents will die destitute.

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OnAFreakingRollercoaster
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1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Okay the ending is heartbreaking, love conquers all!! Even class differences. I'm rooting for you guys 😘

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#41

His ex-wife called mid dinner to tell him his daughter was sick, throwing up, and she didn't want to deal with it. (I was able to hear her even though she wasn't on speaker) He politely apologized and said he had to leave and would understand if I didn't want to try a do over date.

We'll have been married 15 years this coming July.

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#42

We met in a nightclub, I took him home for some fun and games. When we woke up and had breakfast, he said "what would you like to do today?" instead of just leaving his number and doing the dash. We’ve been together for 27 years and married for 15 of them, and we’ve almost never spent a night apart.

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#43

I arrive 30 minutes early to do my makeup in the car. Saw him pull in 15 minutes later but he didn’t see me.

He got out and started walking to the cafe we agreed to meet at. Homeless man walks up to him. I see him go back to his car to get change.

I never told him I saw what he did, but I definitely went into the date more excited and less nervous.

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Tinderella
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1 year ago

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This would have made me like him less / think he’s gullible and too open

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#44

Wasn't *technically* a first date because we were still just friends. I still considered this one of our first "dates".

We were sprawled outside on the concrete of his front porch the whole night sharing our favorite albums together -- up for hours, just listening and talking. I remember feeling so happy, because we had just gotten close that year; it felt like I finally had the "best friend" I always wanted while I was growing up. We finally realized how long we had been up when his dad opened the front door to leave for work and was surprised by us sitting on the steps.

We're almost 4 years married. I wouldn't have it any other way. He's the best friend I've ever had.

EDIT: I really didn't expect this to blow up the way it did. My husband and I were going through all of the comments this morning; it really made our day. Our collective advice is: always put kindness and sincerity first in your partner. We are very simple people. There were times that we had next to nothing, and love carried us through. Love is something that fame and money cannot buy. Do everything you can to be a good person for the people in your life. The right people will find their way to you, as long as you put love first.

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#45

I was new to the area, we met at a restaurant in a town I wasn't familiar with. Had a great date but when I went to go home in my car, he noticed I accidentally turned on the service road instead of the highway. He followed me and flagged me down to let me know I'd gone the wrong way. This was long before cell phones and gps and I didn't have a map of the area, I would have been super lost in the middle of the night. I was like, wow this is a super nice guy! That was 22 years ago and we're still together.

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#46

Not a first date, but after chillin for a couple weeks, I told him that I wasn't interested. He said, "Hey, can we still be friends? I like hangng out with you." And then we hung out for the rest of the day like best friends. I kissed him that night. We're married now.

When I was a teen, it was complicated. Guys were either up front that they wanted to be with me, or they were my friends until I turned down their advances. He just liked me for me!

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#47

40 Wholesome "Green Flags" That People Noticed In Their Dates That Made Them Want To Go On Another Date Asking me out on the second date while on the date. Showed he was interested, and that pattern of vulnerability persisted into a marriage. His communication is still unparalleled, and I’m still surprised how many details he can remember about me/us.

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#48

I looked like a dear in the headlights for the first half hour. He asked me if I was ok and I admitted that first dates always make me super nervous because I don’t wanna mess up. Then he asked me what we could do together that wouldn’t flare up my anxiety. I told him usually doing some kind of physical activity helps me talk without focusing on how I sound or look. He changed plans and took us mini-golfing and I completely forgot that I’d been nervous at all.

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#49

I guess our "first date" was sneaking off together for a walk, at the place we worked together. Shortly after, we ended up dating in secret until we announced our engagement, to our boss' displeasure.

We were walking around the grounds together and she kept running off ahead slightly to look at specific groups of flowers and remarking about which ones she liked the most, and how beautiful they all were. Then she'd realize she had left me behind and would come back, and walk with me over to them so she could look at them some more with me. It was adorable, and she's still just as adorable today. I don't think I'd ever seen someone so excited about flowers. We've been married 4 years now.

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#50

She asked me what my favorite dinosaur is!

Just to make things clear, this wasn’t in kindergarten or school. I was 34, she 28 - that was almost two years ago. Most lovely human being I ever met and I can gladly state that she’s sleeping right next to me at the moment.

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#51

She appreciates all the small things. Biggest green flag.

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#52

It was my first time going into the city by myself; I'd seen a Facebook post online for an event with alternative music (emo, punk-rock), and thought "Ah, what the hell, I'll check it out".

I knew no one there, the event went late into the night, and I'd only just moved here from living in country towns all my life. I didn't even know how I was supposed to order a drink (had to ask the bartender, who thankfully wasn't judgemental and told me about tabs and some common drinks).

I'd been wandering around for a bit looking absolutely lost, when this guy came up to me and said, "you look lonely".

He brought me over to his friend group, and I ended up hanging out with them for quite a while. Unfortunately I was also completely unaware of my own alcohol tolerance, and ended up feeling very tired. I was falling asleep on this guy, until the staff came over and told me I had to leave as they didn't want me passing out there.

He came with me, offering to make sure I got onto the train safe, and it turned out we lived within 20 minutes walk of each other, so he came with. He walked me right up to the door, then walked home in the dark alone, messaging me the next day to make sure I was okay.

Unfortunately I didn't see how sweet he was at the time, but eventually, we got together, and he has stayed with me through so much c**p in life.

We have been together around two and a half years now :)

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#53

The fact that she was very shy to start our first date (having learned I was her first date in years after the fact, it makes sense), but then the moment I hit a topic she really enjoyed, she wouldn’t stop talking.

And then on the second date, she said she was tired at 9pm (she had just gotten a puppy). I thought that meant things didn’t go well. When she got home to take care of the dog, it woke her up and she texted me quite a bit the rest of the night. That changed my mind on how things went.

Now I’m married to her and we just had our first kid 8 weeks ago. I love her, and our family, so much.

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#54

She was genuinely interested in what I was talking about and asked follow up questions on the topic…. I was talking nervously about some boring part of my education… she was smiling all the time and made me feel confident about it. Good times! 16years later we are still together.

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#55

A guy I met at a party of a mutual friend started talking with me online the day after the party (Facebook chat, when that was a thing many years ago). I mentioned plans to go to a movie with a group of friends and he enthusiastically expressed interest in joining, so I invited him. He came and it was fun (big group of mixed gender friends) and afterwards called me. He said something along the lines of “I really enjoy hanging out with you and I am interested in you and in getting to know you better and would like to go on a date”. GREEN FLAG.

It was so refreshing to have a guy be so straightforward. No guessing about his intentions or quasi-dating for weeks. I was in my mid 20s and frustrated that I was wasting time with guys who weren’t actually serious about relationships and with online dating.

Anyways, we went on that date and now we’re married and have 2 kids.

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#56

My gorgeous, fabulous wife has been nothing but one gigantic green flag. Even her shortcomings are perfect.

We agreed to meet for coffee first. She walked in, and my first thought was that there was no way it was her, because she was just *so beautiful*. Then she gave this shy little smile and wave, and I realized that it *was* her.

We talked and laughed and drank coffee for what felt like about 20 minutes. The next thing I knew, the place was empty and closing. I walked her to her car, and she grabbed me and gave me this huge hug, completely unprompted. It was really sweet.

I took her out on a real date the following week, and it was just... magical. I waited a few days, so I didn't seem too forward, and called her up. I was really nervous. After we talked for awhile, I awkwardly asked her if it'd be okay if I took her out again sometime. She said "What? Of course you can! I'd LOVE to go out with you again!"

And that's how I met the love of my life.

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#57

On our first date something just felt different about her, but I couldn't really tell what. Maybe she just felt comfortable to be with. We had a lot of fun, went dancing and got plastered on New Years Eve 1980-81. The next morning I was hung over and didn't have any food. I called her and told her (,why I don't know) and she said to come over and she made me breakfast. I was painting the garage door and told her and she came over to help me. She also didn't care I didn't have money. It was a small town and people knew that, so a lot of girls wouldn't go out with me because it was evident by my car and apartment. She didn't care. If I didn't have enough money to go out she would pitch in so we could go on a cheap date. We've been married since 1984. My parents died which was terrible, but I became overnight rich. Now the girls in town who turned me down before actually were asking me out. I told them too late. This is honest truth. I married the woman who didn't care and now I was buying her a nice house, nice new car, fat diamond ring. Justice done.

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Lynne Hammar
Lynne Hammar
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Reminds me of an old Steeleye Span song about a sailor who comes home, hits on a girl, she turns him down flat as poor and dirty. He tells her that's fine, though he's grown rich at sea. Then she says she loves him & will marry him! He turns her down flat & sings about how he doesn't care what the world thinks of him. Sorry so long

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#58

It wasn‘t a date, but it was the first time we ever hung out. Back when my husband and I first met we spent the day with friends, and all of us decided to go on a walk. It started raining midway through the walk, something my husband knew was going to happen so he brought his umbrella with him. Without question as soon as that first raindrop landed he took out his umbrella and made sure not a drop landed on me. He didn’t have to. We were just friends, not even that, it was the first real day we hung out. But I knew I wanted to hang out with him more. Looking back now, I can see why I fell in love with him. He has always been kind.

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#59

I met my current boyfriend on Tinder and I had basically little to no expectations that this would go anywhere because, well, it’s Tinder. We ended up chatting on the app before he gave me his phone number and he ended up asking me if I wanted to hangout the next day and I said sure! We live in Finland 10 mins away from the Swedish border so we drove over to the Sweden side. He said he needed to get some groceries, alcohol, and gas for the car so we did that before driving back over to the Finnish side. He dropped me back off at my place and said he really hoped he could see me again.

Well, fast forward to later that night he called me and asked if I wanted to see him again because he really enjoyed my company and wanted to keep hanging out. He apologized for the less than exciting grocery/gas/alcohol run date earlier, but I said I didn’t mind. I said I had a good time and that I wanted to see him again too.

We ended up driving to his cabin in the evening and it was so romantic! It was freezing cold (as it usually is in Finnish Lapland in winter) and we just cuddled and talked all night. I really love him so much and I have a sneaking suspicion he’s going to propose soon!

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#60

We talked about everything and the conversation never dulled, everyone at the party left and we were the only two people there and didn’t realize it for a while. 25 years later and were still running our mouths!

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#61

I was late because my bike broke down and when i got to the club she was surrounded by a bunch of guys chatting her up. I was oblivious to that just all stressed and covered in oil and dirt from getting that f*****g beast working again.

I walked up to her and said something like "hey, wanna get out of here and go eat?" And she just smiled got up and left with me.

edit;

okay so 2nd date we were meeting up at a restaurant. I was checking my bike over before leaving to make sure it wouldn't break down again when two buds of mine on the block came up and asked me what was up (we all worked on each other's bikes).

I mentioned i had a date and didn't want the bike to f**k up again (it was like a mix of Harley and yamaha parts we cobbled together) and I casually commented the clutch seemed jinky but workable so I was gonna grab my stuff from my apartment and take off and they were like "oh yeah, we'll take a look and make sure it's good while you do that".

I come back and they've DISASSEMBLED THE WHOLE F*****G CLUTCH ASSEMBLY.

I'm freaking out like "WHAT THE HELL MAN" and they're giving me this gormless look of "oh can't have a jinky clutch so we figured we'd fix it" and short version is I showed up a half hour late to the restaurant.

She's at the bar and some guy is chatting her up and I sit down next to her and apologize for being late because of my idiot mates and we have a drink and the guy keeps trying to be part of the conversation and she's responding and I get a bit pissed but I keep my cool over it.

We get our table and she causally mentions the guy wanted her to go with her to another place if I didn't show up soon and I'm like LOOKING for where he is because I'm pissed and wanna do something stupid and she just laughs and says it's cute I got jealous but she wasn't going to go with him, she was just giving me s**t for being late AGAIN.

Anyway we eventually got married and it's been like 30 years.

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#62

When the first date was such a colossal fail (wrong movie time, restaurant sucked, she lost her wallet) and she just rolled with it. 7 years later I’m married to that girl

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#63

Sending a follow up text the same day saying “I enjoyed our time together today, thank you”. Shows communication, vulnerability, respect, and effort. Even if it continues with a “…but, I didn’t feel a connection…”. Still shows all the above qualities that will be useful for whoever they do end up with!

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#64

When we sat down, he told me that he would pay and not to worry, since he asked me out.

When we left the cafe and he asked me for a walk and we went for one, he listened closely to me because at the end, he asked me if I would be comfortable if he brought me home since I mentioned being followed and catcalled by guys.

And he waited for me to reach out for a hug in the end - and even better was the way he asked for a kiss. We hugged and he was like "Ah, always that uncertainty about a kiss on the first date." That was the moment I knew he would not mind if I said no.

But I said yes.

Yeah, was a gorgeous first date. Glad to have had that experience at least once so far.

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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Went on a date with a guy I had a grad school class with, but we didn't really know each other. We met at a park to walk and talk. I told a story for 5 to 10 minutes and realized he hadn't heard a word I said. He was only interested in telling me how smart he was. 🙄 I declined a second date.

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#65

We met for coffee after making arrangements on a dating website. He walked me TO my car but kept a certain distance so I would not feel uncomfortable. We are now married 15 years, together 17. He actually just has a HUGE personal space bubble.😂But he is very considerate and not pushy, which is huge for me.

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#66

40 Wholesome "Green Flags" That People Noticed In Their Dates That Made Them Want To Go On Another Date Sadly- not having their phone out on the table during coffee.

It’s a depressing world we live in lol

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#67

His kindness to my son.

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#68

Met to go for a walk at midnight, said goodnight at dawn having walked all over the city crossing four different bridges. Celebrated ten years with our first child born this year.

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#69

It started snowing while we were eating dinner. The roads were starting to get icy by the time we left. He said “text me when you get home. I want to know you’re safe.” It was just so clearly an act of kindness with no ulterior motive.

We’ve been married 9 years.

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#70

This isn’t going to be a top upvoted comment or anything but absolutely everything about her was and still is a green flag. Met her at work, she was my manager. First date I bought her a dress and bought myself a suit. She didn’t stop smiling all night and we had a great time. 7 years together, 3 beautiful girls (1 each from previous relationships), 2nd Christmas as a married couple this year and there isn’t a single thing I’d ever change about her. I truly believe the “green flag” was that when I met her I knew instantly that she was the one. I found the one for me, at the exact time I needed to find her. Sometimes I can’t believe my luck because I didn’t think it was possible to find someone who ticks every single one of your boxes, but she absolutely does.

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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Same with my husband. I knew instantly I wanted to meet him. Going on16 years so far and I still feel lucky to be with him. We spent this morning laughing together.

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#71

Well, prior to this “first date” he and I had been talking for quite a while so it’s not the standard first date I guess. But he didn’t play games, he made it very known to me that he had feelings for me. He was kind enough to buy our ice cream for us. He asked me for input on what our first date should be - coffee shop or ice cream. He showed genuine interest and respect for me. ☺️ I could tell from the first date that this was going to be something special. Ended up being a 3 year long relationship.

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#72

The guy had kidney stones that morning, but made a huge deal about not wanting to cancel the date day of. I tried to tell him it’d be fine and we could reschedule, but the date went on without a hitch. Dude must be hella into me if he’s putting up with that kind of pain to see me 😅

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#73

She was an hour late. However, the entire time, she was texting me updates and telling me what she was doing to get there. We are going to be celebrating our one year anniversary on 1/1.

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#74

Her offering to have our first date at my place, no netflix and chill, simply talk and enjoy each other's company because netflix and chill isn't a proper first date to get to know someone. Literally at the end of the first date, she asked for a hug and honestly could've probably went for the kiss, but I waited for 2nd date for that lol. Right away we both knew, and we texted each other that we enjoyed the evening and setup our next date right away.

That was a breath of fresh air, and happy to say we're together now.

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#75

I pretended I was asleep and all he did was kiss my forehead and cuddle 🥺 few dates later he was still respecting that I wasn't ready to sleep with him yet... Few years later we're engaged with a kid 🥰

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#76

he took me out for coffee in a place that he made me choose. when i got there, he was already waiting and the way his eyes shined when he saw me was really adorable. we ordered and played chess, his hand was shaking. its been a year and counting.

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#77

Our first real date was someone else’s wedding. We got tired of the reception and walked onto the pier to look at the stars. Now we’re married ourselves.

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#78

i realized i spent most of the date talking about myself (hear me out) and i’ve never once had that happen. i’m a very reserved and private person when i first meet someone which has honestly made dating difficult for years. but he had such a way of asking questions, and keeping the conversation going, and encouraging me sharing my thoughts, opinions, and he also shared his to everything i said that when our date was done, i realized i spent almost the entire date talking, which is so unlike me for first dates! i wasn’t afraid of him judging me or not liking my response to something. all of his questions were sincere and he seemed to genuinely care about whatever the hell was about to come out of my mouth. i didn’t have to think about what to say, it just came out of me and he met me wherever i was at. maybe it sounds silly, but it was pretty magical. we still see each other!

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#79

We're coworkers, and we started flirting after a while of friendship. I dressed casually for a date aka white dress shirt, blue jeans, and my date shoes. She showed up all dressed up and couldn't walk in her heels. She ended up falling over and scraping her knee. I helped her up and got my extra pair of shoes I keep in the car and some socks for her, put them on for her and bandaged her knee up from my first aid kit. Dinner was great. We bounced off of each other. When it was over and we split the bill (she was insistent on it, I was gonna pay for it since I asked for the date), I walked her to her car and she kissed me on the cheek. I asked for the second date right then and there. We've been together for a year and a half. Her family loves me, especially 'cause her mother loves my cooking. My family gushes over her. I really think we'll go somewhere and if we do, I couldn't ask for a better partner.

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#80

The fact that I left 8am the next day, didn't sleep a wink. We clicked on so many levels.That was 6 years ago and we are happily married 😊

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#81

I mentioned an activity I’d thought about for our first date but ultimately decided against. She said we should do it on our second date.

I went into full relax mode after that was able to relax.

I love that girl.

Arkie_MTB Report

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#82

Endearing awkwardness, the kind that demonstrates he is nervous and really likes you.

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#83

Sense of humor and feeling safe.

I was living in reno, nevada at the time and this is my current relationship. Our first date we went to downtown reno to Hot August Nights. We walked through the event, viewing all the hot rod cars, and for dinner we went to subway. He is easy to talk to, and very funny. We took the bus from downtown to midtown viewing all the hot rods. Walked from midtown to my apartment in south reno. Was the best night of my life so far. I love him so much

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#84

The other person not judging me

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Amberlie Mikelsen
Amberlie Mikelsen
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This right here! I met my current SO on a Greyhound bus when I was escaping a way bad marriage. I was doubled over with hunger pain cuz I had no food, no money for food, and had had minimal appetite the 24 leading up to getting on the bus. He spent what little money he had to buy me 2 packages of peanuts and gave them to me without a word about compensation. I grabbed my bag out of the overhead and went and asked if I could sit with him (not something I would have done at all prior to that point due to emotional and physical abuse making me an extreme introvert). He said ok, and we exchanged numbers when our routes diverged in Little Rock. We talked on the phone every single evening for almost 3 weeks until he picked me up from my parents house. We've been together for 13 years as of this past Independence Day and I can honestly state that we've been through some serious hell, but he's stood by me despite the death threats from my ex.

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#85

He snuck me out of work and took me to the Italian place right next door which happened to be one of my favorite restaurants. He had a plate of chicken carbonara ready to go on a table for me as I only had a fifteen minute break. He then ordered me a glass of wine and brought me my leftovers with a side of fresh, hot fries. (I had to eat and then dart back to work so that's why he brought me my leftovers. And he knows I'd shank someone for that restaurant's fries.)

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#86

Whatever the opposite is of treating the date like an infomercial for himself.

I guess a mixture of good, engaged listening and down-to-earth discussion that is personal while still showing good judgment and boundaries.

In other words, good conversation with someone who is confident, open, tactful, and gives a s**t about you as an actual person.

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#87

I'm probably echoing the other comments here but finding someone you can talk to so easily, despite having different interests is such a huge factor. I'm an introvert, but my boyfriend and I can talk about random stuff for hours on end.
He's into cars, I'm an art kid, we play vastly different games most of the time.. and we can still find everything and anything to talk about. My favorite thing is having him talk about cars cuz... I don't know anything but it's nice to see him go on and on and on

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#88

She offered to pay for drinks. Never had that before. She’s now my wife.

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#89

When it immediately felt that we knew each other for ages and we could already play well off of each other. I like that in a date!

The whole dating thing ended after a mere 2 months because she turned out to be crazy but that's for another time.

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parmadillo
parmadillo
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I like this one. Sometimes there are green flags and then red flags. You heed them as they appear.

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