To learn more about the magic of adoption, we got in touch with Khalida Lovell, Co-Founder at Jigsaw Adoption, a UK-based, independent adoption service. Khalida was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda and discuss why it's so important to have parents who are looking to adopt.

"Without the presence of warm, open and committed parents, children could not be adopted. My colleagues at Jigsaw Adoption agree. We need you. We would love for you to be there," the co-founder shared. "We need your openness, patience, and love to help give these children the chance of a brighter future. They need this to succeed as adults."

"In the UK, adoption is the future plan for about 5% of the children in foster care," Khalida says. "Across the Atlantic, in the USA, this number is around 2%. Sadly, the number of children being adopted in both nations is falling but for different reasons. These children will then spend the remainder of their childhood years in state-mandated care."

"Adoption will give many of you the chance at parenthood which you have not had before," she continued. "It will give children that much needed second chance at growing up in a family who can give them the security and love they need."

As for how adoption can impact a child's life, the expert says, "Adoption has a huge, positive impact on children who can’t live with their birth families. These children benefit from the security and love offered in an adoptive family. Children can develop a sense of permanence for the rest of their childhood. Many children with a plan of adoption are in care with their siblings. Adoption allows them to grow up together with their brothers and sisters in the same home."

Khalida also noted that adoptive children face struggles with issues around identity and self-esteem due to sad early life experiences. "Being adopted into a family allows them to develop emotional safety as well as being physically cared for. The role of professionals is important here too," she explained. "Supporting our adopters is vital so they can support their children well and thrive as a family."

So what kinds of couples are the best suited for adoption? "I've had the privilege to work alongside so many adoptive parents. They are regular and yet exceptional people," Khalida shared. She noted that what so many of these couples have in common can be covered in three areas: emotional capacity, support networks and flexibility.

"Emotional capacity can’t be overstated. In UK adoptions, you’re bringing home children who have had a difficult start, entered the state care system and are often moved between foster families. These children are going to have issues with trusting adults around them," she explained.

"Part of adult life for adopters will have involved dealing with some life difficulties. Being able to process your own problems and grow from them is important," Khalida added. "If you have dealt with your own difficulties, you’re in a much stronger place for parenting and your other relationships. This is not only beneficial for your individual wellbeing but also for the children."

"Support networks formed by a community of family, trusted friends and professionals all contribute towards a smoother life for adoptive families," the expert continued. "Adopters need people around them who care, listen and support their adoption plans."

"A good support network means people will look out for you and the children after they join your family. Emotional support for adopters is equal to having practical support. Only you will know which you’ll need. It’s a great idea to think about the support you and your partner can access before starting your adoption," Khalida says. "You then have time to strengthen this through your local community."

Finally, adoptive parents need to be flexible. "Flexibility is an underrated life quality but key for adoptive parenting," Khalida told Bored Panda. "Every family has its own joys and challenges with adopted children. Parenting children has also changed over the generations and parents are expected to be more present, more hands-on than 30 years ago. This can also clash with the expectations we have of our children. So much of what we expect from our children comes from our own experiences whether we like it or not. Building in flexibility to daily plans in recognition of their needs has a deep impact on family life."

"At Jigsaw Adoption, we don’t expect you to have done lots of research into adoption before coming to us. We look for a genuine interest in becoming parents through adoption," the expert shared. "We go through the preparation, the assessment (also known as the home-study, and the legal information with you. In the UK, you will have access to children’s reports, which explain early life history and the medical information you will need."

Khalida also says there’s a big shift in being joint parents, as well as partners, when you’re adopting. "It’s worth thinking about how you can work as a team towards parenthood for your adoption. There are the practical aspects such as who stays at home in the beginning with children. Who can look at nurseries or schooling." 

But the emotional parts of your life need attention too. "Like many new parents, it can feel as though life is all about the children in the first year. Think about how you can dedicate time for your relationship too," the expert noted. "It doesn’t have to be an elaborate evening out; it can be simple, a walk with hot chocolate. A regular commitment means you’re more likely to check in with each other."

Next, we wanted to know if there were any misconceptions about adoption that Khalida could dispel for us. "Many people rule themselves out of adoption before talking to an agency. Some of the misconceptions about UK adoption mean people feel they won’t qualify if they have freelance roles or work in the creative industries. We’ve heard people tell us they felt they couldn’t adopt because they have experienced estrangement from family members," she shared.

"We don’t need to contact all your former partners for a reference, this is something many women in particular have been very concerned about. Finally, having emotional difficulties or depression does not automatically rule adopters out," the expert says. "We are all much more aware of the emotional challenges of day-to-day life in a post-Covid world."

"Taking the first step to find out more about adoption is daunting and needs a leap of faith," Khalida added. "Having a positive attitude and a genuine interest in adopting children will put you in a great place to start your adoption journey."