“How My Last One Had Me Looking”: This Trend Shows Post Break-Up Glow-Ups At Their Finest

It's called a toxic relationship for a reason. Dating or loving the wrong person can be poisonous. It can impact your life, your career, your mind, body, and soul. Sometimes, the consequences don't show up for a while. But when they do, they're clear as day. If you don't believe us, look no further than a TikTok trend where people are showing what they looked like in their last relationship versus now.

It can be hard to believe some of these folk are indeed the same person. Many look like they've entered an extreme makeover challenge, done a Benjamin Button on us, and achieved the world's best glow-up. It's not too hard to imagine why they're rethinking getting into another relationship after remembering what the last one did to them.

Toxic relationships are unhealthy for various reasons. They can send you spinning into a state of anxiety, depression, panic, and fear and completely change who you are as a person. You might have isolated yourself from family and friends. You may feel trapped like you'll never find your true self again.

The Calm app blog defines a toxic relationship as one that "consistently undermines your sense of wellbeing, happiness, and, at times, safety." The site explains that occasional disagreements or conflicts are normal in any relationship, "but a continual pattern of emotional harm, disrespect, and manipulation can lead to deterioration in mental and emotional health."

If you have to ask yourself whether you're in a toxic relationship, there's a good chance you are. Or you'd be too happy to wonder about it. Some of the big red flags are that you feel unsupported. "Instead of feeling uplifted and encouraged, interactions often leave you feeling belittled, inadequate, or sabotaged," reads the Calm blog.

You'll likely also feel that the bad days outweigh the good days. And you are more unhappy than not. You and your partner are constantly fighting and arguing. There's a feeling of heaviness, tension, and general dissatisfaction.

We often hear or read that communication is key to happy and healthy relationships. In the toxic couplings, there's a clear breakdown in communication. It's marred by disrespect, insults, accusations, or even silence. There are things left unsaid, and elephants in the proverbial room. You feel unheard... and, at times, unloved.

If your partner acts like they own you and dictates who you can see, what you can see, and how you should dress, act, or feel, consider this a huge red flag. Healthy relationships are not centered around controlling behavior and dominant dynamics.

The same applies if your partner is a master of manipulation or is constantly gaslighting you. Or if you feel like you're walking on eggshells, always in a state of guilt. Someone who loves you will show you they care and will not disregard your emotional needs or feelings.

There's a reason the people who are taking part in the TikiTok trend look so drastically different in their "Then and Now" photos. When your emotional well-being takes a knock, your physical well-being often follows soon after.

"The constant stress and negativity can lead to symptoms like insomnia, changes in appetite, or chronic health issues," reads the Calm blog. "Toxic relationships can cause isolation, making it harder to reach out for help when you need it most."

Many people stay in bad relationships much longer than they should. And there are various reasons... Your emotional attachment to your partner could keep you confused or stuck. Or maybe you have a fear of being alone. There could be financial reasons. Or you truly believe your partner will change.

"The cycle of toxicity can erode self-confidence and decision-making abilities, making the prospect of leaving seem daunting or even impossible," notes the Calm site.

The first step to getting out is to acknowledge you're in a toxic or unhealthy relationship. And then to make a decision to leave. Find support in family, friends, someone you trust, or even a professional like a therapist. Create your exit strategy taking into account things like where you'll go, what you'll say (if anything), how you'll support yourself financially and when to leave.

You might choose to leave immediately and suddenly, or you could take a more gradual approach and disengage slowly. This means reducing contact with your partner and distancing yourself from the relationship.

The experts at Calm say this approach can be less confrontational and may give you time to adjust emotionally and logistically to the change. But if you ever feel unsafe or in danger, don't drag it out. Seek help and leave as soon as possible. Remember, you are not alone. You can and will get through this.