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I have guinea pigs, and they are literally the most beautiful thing on this planet. ppl are alll like, 'what do you do with a guinea pig? Like with a dog you can teach it tricks and take it on a walk, and like a guinea pig is just this stinky little ratty ball of floof'
After I came out as aromantic to a very insistent boy who wanted to go out with me : "don't worry, I can change you". Bonus point for his best friend "but like, have you been diagnosed by a doctor?"