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Going from living all on your own, with your family, or with a few roommates to moving in together with your partner is a huge step. For one, the romantic dynamic can become very different. You’re spending far more time together and you start dealing with mundane household issues like dividing up chores, syncing up your showering schedules, and claiming your side of the bed.

You start seeing your partner in a different light: you notice more of their quirks and how they behave when they fully let their guard down. It can be fun, endearing, and incredibly surprising.

The men of Reddit revealed all of the surprising things that they learned only after they moved in with a woman. We’ve collected the most fun and interesting responses from these two r/AskReddit threads to entertain and illuminate you, Pandas. Odds are, you might relate to a lot of these tales.

How was life changed for you after you moved in with your partner? How do you decide who does what chores? Do you have any advice for all the Pandas who haven’t yet lived with someone they love? Share your wisdom and experience in the comments. And if you'd like to read some more similar stories, check out Bored Panda's previous article right here.

#2

Someone Asked Men To Share What They Learned From Living With Women That They Didn't Know Before, And These Are 30 Of The Most Surprising Answers Seducing a woman you live with starts with doing the dishes...

anon , MART PRODUCTION Report

#3

Someone Asked Men To Share What They Learned From Living With Women That They Didn't Know Before, And These Are 30 Of The Most Surprising Answers How totally feral and uncivilized I used to be. It turns out that sunscreen is a thing! Decorating your home can make it look really nice! Doctor's checkups are important!

There's a *reason* that men who are in relationships live longer.

wolfdreams01 , Collins Lesulie Report

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Catherine
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yep. Men, you're welcome. Sincerely the women teaching you what your mama didn't. Just remember we're not your mamas.

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When it comes to getting along with anyone—whether it’s your partner, family member, friend, or coworker—what really helps is setting expectations, communicating openly, and clarifying boundaries if needed.

Nobody’s a mind-reader (as far as we can tell, at least), so if you’re upset about something or you’d like your partner to give you more of a hand with the cooking, cleaning, etc., it’s best to have an honest but friendly chat about it. Passive aggression won’t lead to anything good.

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#4

Someone Asked Men To Share What They Learned From Living With Women That They Didn't Know Before, And These Are 30 Of The Most Surprising Answers The hair. I just don’t understand how she can shed that much hair and not be bald. It’s literally everywhere.

blinded33 Report

#5

Someone Asked Men To Share What They Learned From Living With Women That They Didn't Know Before, And These Are 30 Of The Most Surprising Answers The toilet seat AND lid belong in the down position when it's not in use.

It looks better and the dog doesn't drink out of it.

anon , IgorVetushko Report

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Catherine
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's also a design function so nothing splashes out when you flush. Totally grosses me out that most people ignore the lid's existence all together as if it's just an "extra* aesthetic piece

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#6

Nothing puts the fear of God into a woman like the threat of someone showing up unexpectedly & seeing how she really lives. Multiply that by a factor of 4 if it's her mother in law.

AlienBloodMusic Report

However, living together with someone doesn’t mean that literally every single waking minute has to be spent together. That’s not too healthy. Both partners need to understand that having some privacy is completely fine.

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People need some space and time to be alone with their thoughts and hobbies. You don’t have to sacrifice your entire life and personality just to keep your partner happy. On the flip side, you shouldn’t expect that your partner will overhaul everything about themselves just so you can keep living as you always did. Some compromises will have to be made, eventually. Figuring out what a shared life looks like is part of the fun.

#7

Someone Asked Men To Share What They Learned From Living With Women That They Didn't Know Before, And These Are 30 Of The Most Surprising Answers If they come home at night and don't expect you to be home, make some kind of you-specific, but non-threatening noise somewhere on the other side of the house BEFORE you say hi to them. DO NOT just pop you head around the corner and say hi. Girls coming home at night to an "empty" house are in pins and needles, even if they don't know it.

cinred , Aleksandra Sapozhnikova Report

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Rebekah
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Turn on the lights and the TV. Yell "hey hon" when you hear us come in. Do NOT do the surprise, or prepare for the claws to the face.

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#8

Someone Asked Men To Share What They Learned From Living With Women That They Didn't Know Before, And These Are 30 Of The Most Surprising Answers They’re just as gross and slobby as we are.

ssgt_chell , Adrian Swancar Report

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#9

Someone Asked Men To Share What They Learned From Living With Women That They Didn't Know Before, And These Are 30 Of The Most Surprising Answers That the difference of "I'm not hungry at all" and "I'm going to eat you alive because I'm desperately hungry" is about 5 seconds.

auad , Artem Labunsky Report

#10

Women have objectively better sense of smell than us. What stinks to them is mild for us.

DAVasquez- Report

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Catherine
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thank you for understanding our olfactory senses are particularly sensitive.

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#11

For a year, I lived with four girls when i was in college.

I don’t have a sister and at the time never had a serious girlfriend.

I learned a lot about cycles.

Theirs synced up. I didn’t know that was a thing. During that time, or dare I say, period.....it was so much fun dealing with the tearful emotional anguish of things like, “who ate my macaroni and cheese!?!!”

I was like, why have my roommates all gone psychotic at the same time?





apex_editor Report

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#12

Someone Asked Men To Share What They Learned From Living With Women That They Didn't Know Before, And These Are 30 Of The Most Surprising Answers They both, always have to pee yet don't feel like peeing. Basically a Schrödinger's bladder situation going on.

ccrunn3r4lif3 , AllaSerebrina Report

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Dylan Armstrong
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We tire of peeing because of how often we have to do it. Sometimes it seems like my whole life is just peeing all day long with scattered bits of trying to get things done between bathroom runs.

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#13

When I moved to my current city, I moved in with a guy that has obviously been living on his own for awhile. He only bought toilet paper one roll at a time, because he felt like extra toilet paper was unnecessary clutter. By month two, I couldn't stand it anymore, so I bought multipack and kept it in my room.

I'm making him sound like a weird tight ass, and he really wasn't. I just don't think he had any understanding of how much toilet paper women use.

spiderlegged Report

#14

Someone Asked Men To Share What They Learned From Living With Women That They Didn't Know Before, And These Are 30 Of The Most Surprising Answers I learned that their vaginal secretions bleach their underwear over time. Empirically I knew their bajingos have a basic pH, but I didn't expect them to bleach their underwear just by wearing it.

EDIT: Bajingos have an acidic pH. I was drinking last night and messed up my pH scale. Either way, acid washed jeans are essentially bleached too, so the fact that their bajingos bleach their underoos still applies.

anon , littledropofpoison Report

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#15

Someone Asked Men To Share What They Learned From Living With Women That They Didn't Know Before, And These Are 30 Of The Most Surprising Answers The act of showering is a detailed and complex process.

JustAnotherGeek12345 , Karolina Grabowska Report

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Marley Marl
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a woman I agree with this. I have a process and separate body towels for washing. I wash and condition my hair first. While my hair is conditioning, I use my private parts towel for cleaning my private parts, then I use my body towel for my face and body, last, I finish by washing the conditioner out of my hair, and done.

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#16

Someone Asked Men To Share What They Learned From Living With Women That They Didn't Know Before, And These Are 30 Of The Most Surprising Answers That they expect a spotless house but often drive cars that could make a Petri dish tap out.

Isimagen , Jon Meza Report

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Ian Webling
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Must show wife to prove it's not just me who thinks this. And she likes to drive my car.

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#19

Someone Asked Men To Share What They Learned From Living With Women That They Didn't Know Before, And These Are 30 Of The Most Surprising Answers Everything is scheduled around washing her hair.

Fattens , EdZbarzhyvetsky Report

#20

Someone Asked Men To Share What They Learned From Living With Women That They Didn't Know Before, And These Are 30 Of The Most Surprising Answers When they pee, it's really loud. Not the urine hitting the water, but when it comes out of them. I never knew.

nayyyf15 , AllaSerebrina Report

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Paul Donahue
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Puff out your chest, clench you butt and stomach to secure p.s.i. dominance!

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#21

Someone Asked Men To Share What They Learned From Living With Women That They Didn't Know Before, And These Are 30 Of The Most Surprising Answers Paper towels are expensive... the way my wife talks about them, they are woven from angel hairs and can’t be used without express written consent.
Same for Clorox wipes, but worse.

BorecoleMyriad , Brandon Cormier Report

#22

Someone Asked Men To Share What They Learned From Living With Women That They Didn't Know Before, And These Are 30 Of The Most Surprising Answers Clothing. So much clothing! When I got married my wife moved in and brought 24 pairs of jeans! I counted them! A week after our honeymoon she told me "I have no clothes, saw some cool jeans at the mall"... mindblown! Here I just make do with 3 pairs!

creamendous , Anastasia Shuraeva Report

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Catherine
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is definitely me and my husband! But listen two secrets to a happy marriage here: 1. We value and spend our money on different things and that's ok! I like clothes. He likes fancy computer parts and gadgets. And 2. His and her closets! He doesn't complain about my 100 pairs of shoes if he's not looking at them regularly. Out of sight, out of mind ;)

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#23

Someone Asked Men To Share What They Learned From Living With Women That They Didn't Know Before, And These Are 30 Of The Most Surprising Answers Now I understand why so much floor space in the grocery store is devoted to creams, lotions, soaps, shampoos, remedies, band aids, hair management and makeup. Also why there's a whole industry devoted to products to hold and organize that stuff.

Also, evidently sheets need to be changed on a regular weekly schedule. Who knew?

howtocleanyourpots , Polina Tankilevitch Report

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Indosidius
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I change sheets once a week. As for the lotions and stuff? I still don't understand. But listen to me Fashion Industry: women need proper pockets!

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#25

Better to be happy than right.

Greatest

Lesson

Ever

onetwopunch26 Report

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Ed Brandon
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What a sad state to end up in, having to agree with someone you feel is wrong in order that they stop gaslighting you.

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#26

Taking a shower is a huge process for my wife and daughters. There are 7 different soaps that each do different things. 21 different shampoo and conditioner bottles that I knock over every time stepping in and out of the shower. There are razors all over. Oh, and I use the same towel for like 3 weeks. They need fresh, clean towels every shower. And, I never knew that people actually used those little square towels. There’s also some poofy, thing that hangs from the shower head. No idea what that’s for. I’ve had to buy 2 extra suction cup shower tray thingys to house all their showering needs. I’ve also learned that when I go to the store to buy something, I will always get the wrong thing. There is often several different types and brands of the products that I need to purchase and i will always pick the wrong one. Women’s brains are amazing at remembering that s**t.

Fernhom Report

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2x4b523p
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a woman I have 4 things in the shower - shampoo, conditioner, soap and razor, and I share the first three with my husband. Our hot water tank is tiny, you better be quick. I never understood how some women have time to use 100 products in the shower.

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#27

Someone Asked Men To Share What They Learned From Living With Women That They Didn't Know Before, And These Are 30 Of The Most Surprising Answers The bathtub drain gets clogged by long hair very, very easily. Which is why it gets pasted on the walls of the shower. Any attempts to prevent one will result in the other.

einherjar81 , soapbeard Report

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Dylan Armstrong
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No. Just no. I have hair that goes down to my knees and I never do this. It is horrifically gross. That goes in a trash can and drains get bi-weekly maintenance to prevent clogs.

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#28

Someone Asked Men To Share What They Learned From Living With Women That They Didn't Know Before, And These Are 30 Of The Most Surprising Answers You can never know what's safe to put in the dryer.

Jeans never go in the dryer because they'll shrink and I just broke them in to a comfy fit.. except when they are now too loose and need to shrink a little so they show off my form and don't make me look fat.

Ditto for shirts, pjs, workout clothes... basically any peice of clothing needs to be precleared for the dryer every wash

RingAroundTheRose , Sana Saidi Report

#29

Someone Asked Men To Share What They Learned From Living With Women That They Didn't Know Before, And These Are 30 Of The Most Surprising Answers That there is apparently a wrong way to put the milk in the fridge.

Also, if she can't sleep, I'm not allowed to either.

Orderves , IgorVetushko Report

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Ariadna
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That’s not women, just her. When I can’t sleep y act like a carefully fairy because it’s not his fault and I’m big enough to be by myself.

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#30

A little late, and this could be more due to me having a busy bee of a girlfriend, but, there is never a ‘Do Nothing’ day. It’s always gotta be groceries or shopping or something of the sort.

Kog121 Report

#31

Someone Asked Men To Share What They Learned From Living With Women That They Didn't Know Before, And These Are 30 Of The Most Surprising Answers That no matter what time you leave the house they will always remember that ONE thing they have to go back in for after you locked the door.

Tjuanthousand , Michael Fenton Report

#32

Someone Asked Men To Share What They Learned From Living With Women That They Didn't Know Before, And These Are 30 Of The Most Surprising Answers Women seem to have triple the minor health issues that I do. She goes through headaches, feels fat, knee hurts, hand hurts, this hurts, that hurts, tired, bleeding, ovaries attempting to eat it's self, boobs sore, on and on. As a guy, When I work 12 hour shifts my back hurts, and my feet hurts. Das it.

Beastleh , IgorVetushko Report

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Rae Huffman
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah but when men get a cold they suddenly turn into needy little babies.

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#33

Someone Asked Men To Share What They Learned From Living With Women That They Didn't Know Before, And These Are 30 Of The Most Surprising Answers that the best time to clean the house is right before we have to leave to go somewhere.

anon , HayDmitriy Report

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#34

the toilet seat thing isn't just some kind of tv trope/ cliché. they really do fall in the toilet and it really does piss them off.... you'd think they'd learn to fucking look before they sat down...

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#35

They aren't always right, but they are never wrong. :)

8Deer-JaguarClaw Report

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Leigh Matthews
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Some of these make me sad. What type of person can’t admit to being wrong and apologize?

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#36

If they see an empty chair, that’s where the purse, the coat, and the scarf go. Nevermind that the coat rack is 5 feet from said chair. So many chairs in our place rendered unusable by all the stuff she lays on them.

Unumveritas Report

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Luna Crow
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm not sure this is so much a "woman" thing as a "human" thing. I've consistently seen people of all genders leave their belongings on chairs.

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#37

Mornings are a sort of tribal ritual. There are better days for which we are blessed with astral forgiveness and kindness directly from f*****g Jupiter or something because she'll shower and put on make up and know what to wear in half an hour.

Then there are the other days.

The borderline nervous breakdown because she doesn't have clothes or that hue of blue doesn't match her sweater. Any feeble attempt to help will be met with contempt, any attempt to mind your own business will get you in trouble for not caring. And the make up trap, oh God the make up trap. Listen, you never want to say that the make up doesn't match or look good. Just don't even try.

giddycocks Report

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Ed Brandon
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel like most of the guys making these complaints may just have shacked up with the wrong women?

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#38

Thank you! My girlfriend schedules our DVR to record at least 6 variations of shows which might as well be called Rich Women Screaming At Each Other While Eating $30 Salads

2 TaskMaster4 Report

#39

They say they want to be at home with you, but they want you to take them out. Where? Anywhere. Give your first 23 suggestions and they are shot down.

inno7 Report

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Mama Penguin
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nah. When I say I want to be home with my hubby, I mean sweatpants and baggy t-shirt day with food and Netflix binge or video game.

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#41

Someone Asked Men To Share What They Learned From Living With Women That They Didn't Know Before, And These Are 30 Of The Most Surprising Answers They can never finish what they pour.

anon , Olena Sergienko Report

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Ed Brandon
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I know guys who do this, I think that's just "some people"

Auntriarch
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Exactly. And it's because there might be little tiny crocodiles in the bottom of the cup

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Beck
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nope. My husband does this leaves half dang mountain dew bottles all ober the house. Pisses me off

Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How about a husband who will drink several cups of coffee on weekends—-and needs a fresh cup and spoon for each one, instead of reusing just one of each.

Dylan Armstrong
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Always busy= forgetting self care items often because our focus shifts to handling another need (often someone else's need.)

Aaron Rollo
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My wife has drank so much flat soda over the years she claims to like it. Nobody likes flat soda.

BluEyedSeoulite
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am almost always thirsty. I've had blood tests done so it's nothing medical. I use 1 liter bottles at home. I hate it when I ask my husband for a glass of water and he brings me a barely half full kids cup. I appreciate the effort but it's almost insulting

Dave Forster
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My wife does this! Be it from a cup, bottle or can any receptical that you can drink liquid from that she fills or is filled for her and there are always going to be a few good gulps left at the bottom, she let proceeds to say she is thirsty and makes another drink she wont finish! Baffles me! but I love her so I finish them for her :D

Sam McKillip
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Me chugging the orange juice even though my stomachs about to burst

StrangeOne
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is something I catch myself doing. Sometimes I'll drink it all, sometimes I think I just make a cuppa for the aroma and comfort having it nearby.

Tarryn Louise
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They?.... Sorry but no. Maybe, your partner, ect. This is not true for every woman.

Stephanie Barr
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My ex and his girlfriend come over, I always have to clean up half empty bottles or glasses. My kids do better. As do I. Not a gender thing.

Resting Witch Face (they/them)
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, pretty much. I literally have a half cup of blueberry tea on my desk from 3 days ago I spent 10 minutes making and forgot to drink.

Wendy Herman
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

B/c that last half inch is just germy backwash. Yes, it's our own germs, but still. Lol.

Amanda Rose
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I must be the odd one then. I can't stand the thought of a cup that still has something in it. If I get a drink, I finish it and promptly rinse out the cup. Leaving it sitting somewhere to get cold/stale, etc is gross.

a fruity dream of delusion
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

my sister ALWAYS has this problem. drives me insane seeing her half empty mugs everywhere.

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#42

Someone Asked Men To Share What They Learned From Living With Women That They Didn't Know Before, And These Are 30 Of The Most Surprising Answers The amount of time it takes for them to decide where to go to dinner to them eventually being ready to go is very frustrating.

dps3ps , Mizuno K Report

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#43

Someone Asked Men To Share What They Learned From Living With Women That They Didn't Know Before, And These Are 30 Of The Most Surprising Answers they drink a lot of wine when they are sad

or when they are stressed

or when they feel like drinking a lot of wine aka most evenings

anon , AESOP. Wines© Report

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Dylan Armstrong
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's called alcoholism. Our society predisposes a lot of people to it, but it isn't healthy and shouldn't be viewed as normal, despite the prolific nature of this behavior. If she is drinking that much, she is VERY stressed and needs some big changes in her life. You have the opportunity to be a positive one.

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#44

"Do you have anything for the washing machine?" actually means:

* get off your a*s and go through the whole house to collect all of the clothes, dishes, and garbage bins

* give me the clothes that you are currently *wearing*, even though you just put them on 30 minutes ago

* wash, dry and put away the dishes

* empty all of the bins, take the trash out, put new liners into the bins

* wipe down all the benches

* clean the toilets

* vacuum and mop the floors; and

* be ready to be abused and called a lazy bastard because, even though it was never mentioned at any point, today was the day she decided that you should have worked out for yourself that the shower screen needed re-caulking. *In the bathroom that you are not allowed to use.*

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#45

They have some kind of spell that makes any coffee table I've had become magic. Leave pizza and beer on the table. Boom! Gone the next day. Don't feel like cleaning your dishes. Boom! Clean the next day. It's f*****g amazing!

Notsureif0010 Report