When it comes to getting something we totally didn’t want, there are two aspects that you have to consider. The actual quality of the service and managing your own expectations so that you don’t end up being constantly disappointed.

The first aspect is fairly straightforward, even though it might not be easy to get around. If the product or service you’ve received doesn’t meet your standards of quality or what’s been advertised, then you’ve got to ask for a refund. Complain! Often and loudly.

Obviously, try to be as diplomatic as you can with your complaints—you’re dealing with other human beings after all. And it’s not always the person who’s registering your complaint who was responsible for what you got. So try not to make their life hell and they’ll be more likely to help you out.

If a company has a genuine customer-first policy in play, they’ll take serious complaints, well, seriously. They’ll hear you out, offer you support, follow up on your complaint, and do whatever they can to make up for their mistake. But we all know that far from every company is willing to be so friendly and instead has a “profit comes first, collateral damage is all right” kind of mentality.

Consider seeking legal aid if the product was especially expensive or if you, your loved ones, or your pets suffered because of what happened. If somebody’s blatantly advertising something that’s clearly false as a way to make a quick buck, then you’ve got to do your part in putting an end to it.

However, there’s that pesky second aspect when it comes to not getting what we wanted. And that all comes down to our expectations. Sometimes, what we want is so perfect, requires so much skill and craftsmanship, that not everyone can fulfill our orders. In those cases, what we envision and what the local craftspeople can provide simply don’t sync up. Or, to put it more bluntly, you get what you pay for.

Don’t expect your nails to look like a model’s when you’re getting them done at a discount store at your local mall. Similarly, you can’t expect a newbie dog groomer to get the same results as a grandmaster with decades of experience: they’ll do their best but you simply can’t expect them to perform according to your imaginary expectations.

In life, it’s best to do your very best to get the result that you want and then relinquish any and all expectations. You did your best. Well done! Now sit back and don’t fret, find something else to do. If you get what you want, fantastic. If not, no big deal—you’ll try again later. Maybe with a different tactic in mind.

Having low expectations is a healthy mindset, similar to the one where you’re encouraged to do good things for people without expecting anything in return. Life has a pleasant way of surprising us when we’re not desperate, needy, and whiny.

PsychCentral explains that the first step in relinquishing unrealistic expectations is being able to spot them. Of course, that’s easier said than done because we may have had certain expectations for years and years. And a lot of it’s connected to our desire to maintain control over everything.

Some examples of completely unrealistic expectations include the beliefs that everyone should like you and that the world should be fair. We simply can’t have that kind of control over the world (well, unless we’re a superhero, the Emperor of the Universe, or a member of the Greek Pantheon).