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Things like social norms, culture, ego, opinion, and a slew of other things are making things difficult when it comes to fostering a healthy and respectful society, especially when it comes to inter-gender relations.
But keep in mind that though things can be hard to change, especially if they’re on such a massive scale, it's not impossible. Just gonna require more effort.
To illustrate some of the most change-worthy things, Reddit user u/Pitiful_Airline1092 recently went to the Ask Reddit community and asked its men to share things they find most irksome or flat-out angering in other men.
Image Credits: Troy Williams
Nearly 25,000 comments and over 53,000 upvotes later, the post went viral. Check out the most spot-on answers to the question in our curated list below. And while you’re down there, upvote and discuss these submissions in the comment section below!
More Info: Reddit
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#2
I used to buy my ex fiancé flowers every other week. I did it to show I cared and because it helped uplift our living space. Every time without fail if I’d pass some random old guy they’d laugh at me, ask what I’d done wrong, say ‘oooh someone’s in trouble’, or just imply that I’ve somehow been emasculated. Like for f**k sake it could be for someone’s grave for all you know.
Im 6’4, tatted, generally pretty high testosterone type guy, but I don’t ever need to justify any of my actions to the imaginary high-council of manly men. You can bench press a defeated mountain lion in the morning and unwind with a pina colada in the bubble Bath while wearing a charcoal face mask in the evening, the two are not related at all.
Samantha Lomb 3 years ago
So genuine question. Do men want to get flowers? I don't personally much like flowers and plenty are insanely toxic to my fur babies but I wonder if there are men who would like to get them and don't because of the same gender stereotypes that cause people to give me "girlie" things
#3
WASH YOUR F*****G HANDS AFTER USING THE RESTROOM GODDAMNIT!!! WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!?
#4
When they try to act tough, like aggressive tough.
Buddy, you aren’t badass, you’re acting like a child with a temper.
Grady'sRaider 3 years ago
This adolescent misconception of masculinity usually gets corrected by an older male who tunes them up without really physically damaging them. The pendulum swings back to the middle.
#5
That every one of my previous partners has been sexually assaulted by other men. Knowing how some guy out there has treated a kind, loving woman in that way makes me furious that they feel entitled to do that because they are a man. What was probably a momentary pleasure for him is a pain those women carry with them years on and all I can do is try and restore their faith in my gender through my own actions.
Foxxy (The Original) 3 years ago
Wish all men were like you. Fortunately most men are, we just sadly hear more about the bad ones.
#6
How some men have no problem going after another man's GF or spouse, but they go psycho if it happens to them.
#7
How guys handle rejection. Lots of women are outright scared to directly turn down a man's advances, because some will harass them or get violent. I think it's one of the big reasons ghosting has become such a common thing in dating.
I'm lay sheep in China 3 years ago
Women in here get murdered, seeded and thrown Acid on face for the word "No"
#8
The older I get the more I am hating men revving their loud cars and motorcycles. I live in a pretty busy area of Dallas and especially at night they just love to show off and screech their tires and rev their loud mufflers to where the whole area can hear it. I am getting too old for that s**t. And sorry if this is sexist but you know it ain't women. It's definitely men.
#9
Guys that become completely different when there's no women around. Guy at work is always nice to his female co-workers. Second they're gone, they're a bunch of dumb b*****s in need of his manly love. I've heard him tell women that his having 3 sisters gives him a great respect for them. He also told me (when the ladies weren't around) that having 3 sisters gives him insight to their weaknesses and allows him to easily take advantage of them.
#10
Men who refuse to call out their male friends for their s****y behavior. I know so many guys who keep one s****y dude in their friend group just because it’d be “weird” to call them out on their misogynistic, racist, or homophobic behavior.
#11
Men who can't clean their own mess, do their laundry, cook their own food, being a functional adult basically.
I used to live with 3 other people, 2 men and one woman, the guys couldn't help keeping the house clean even if their lives depended on it. One of them would help if pressured (but I'd had to clean everything again because he had such low cleaning standards) but the other one wouldn't pick up a broom.
N G 3 years ago
I read an article addressing the myth that men "just don't see" the mess. They see it - they just don't *care*, and this is because in society men are held to a lower standard of expectation. The article cited a study where participants were shown an untidy room; if they were told it belonged to a male student, they thought it was mostly fine. If it belonged to a female student it was judged more harshly. This was more pronounced when the participants were male too (female participants judged the male messy room negatively, but were only a bit more harsh with the female messy room)
#12
I’ve never understood why some guys do that. How the f**k do you think that’s an opening move for trying to get a woman into you? “Hi how are you? D**k pic!”
It’s very different if you’re a couple and/or she asks or you already know she likes that sort of thing. But sending unsolicited d**k pics to women you don’t know is technically a crime and just a douchebag move.
denzoren 3 years ago
Ask yourself the question, (1) Did she ask for a d**k pick? If the answer is no, then DON"T SEND IT. You might say, but denzo, I'm well endowed and she needs to know! Then revert to question (1), No? then DON'T SEND IT. You might also say, but denzo, she looks like she'll like it. Then revert to question (1), No? then DON'T SEND IT. If the answer to question (1) was yes, then by all means, make it a production. This has been my guide to d**k pics.
#13
Guys who s**t on what other people like and don’t like of because of stupid macho bulls**t.
cassiushumanmother 3 years ago
This one is really fun. My gay brother is into arms, he collect knives, crossbows, katanas, swords and is pretty manly, he's into strong beers and not pink daiquiri. Any man wanting a pink daiquiri should have it, without beeing mocked. Macho bullshït indeed.
#14
Having to know EVERYTHING, or out-expert each other. When did it become “unmanly” to say “I don’t know”?
Charlotte A. 3 years ago
I read an article somewhere, about a woman who was transgender and she said that when she was a man, she used to "man-guess" or whatever she called it, whenever she didn't know an answer. It was more important to come off as competent than to actually be competent - or to be honest. (That was in relation to her experiences of being a boss as both a man and later as a woman.)
#15
Older men hate taking instruction from young guys like myself in the trades. Instead of dropping their ego and feelings at the door, they come in with no experience and wont allow me to teach them... it's a lot of patience and I find it very frustrating. You may be older but shut the f**k up and let me teach you something bud.
#16
Dudes who would rather put you down for not knowing every single detail about something rather then genuinely trying to help teach others and spread information. And if they do manage to give a hell to help, they for whatever reason, have to have this demeaning, belittling tone.
#17
Guys who peacock their extravagant purchases.
Kelli Girouard 3 years ago (edited)
Upvote for using the word "peacock." As a person who's been within feet of an actual peacock prancing for some hens, this is a perfect description!
#18
Guys that behave desperate around women and won't stop hitting on them even if they clearly aren't interested.
I once nearly got into a fight because this one guy was hitting on a good friend of mine and tried to get her attention by stealing her stuff, and when I stopped him he got really angry...
Requiem 3 years ago
Ive been at parties back in the early 2000s when I was 19 and a hockey jock was trying to get with a wasted girl who was a friend of a friend. Im in shape but I dont like fighting people, I just stood in front of him and discouraged him from thinking he was able to do anything with her just because he gave her a ride once. I saved her from assault and I just went back to crowd control and didnt see her again for two weeks when she thanked me for it and then never saw her again.
#19
Men that think it's "unmanly" to drink delicious cocktails. Why is it suddenly unmanly to have a sweet tooth when it comes to drinks? I mean you don't go to someones wedding and then say "ha cake? No way I'm a real man".
#20
I don't have much to complain about my guy friends, however, I just hate some men who, when in a group, keep trying to establish dominance. They usually do that by being loud, interrupting people and laughing at you, instead of laughing with you.
Ryan Deschanel 3 years ago
And in the end, they are the leader of their group... A group of one.
#21
That if you compliment someone's appearance, either male or female, they automatically assume that you're hitting on them
#22
Those who aren't comfortable with their own masculinity that they question yours.
Jace 3 years ago
Two of my “friends” decided one day that they had to “confront” me about my sexuality. It all boils down to their insecurities, the fact that I didn’t talk about or treat women as sex objects like they did, and hadn’t had a girlfriend (which I desperately wanted, but was timid, shy, and stuck on an infatuation with someone I would never ask out on a date). Neither of these guys are in my life anymore and I wish I had dropped them back then instead of waiting years more.
#23
The obsession with sports, cars, beer, and other "manly" things to the point that they think anyone who doesn't share it should be pressured into it, is trying to insult their personality by not caring about the same thing, or is a sissy
Carol Emory 3 years ago
I tell you what though...if you're a girl and you know a thing or two about cars, color those same manly men as shocked. I know a lot about cars and my sister has rarely had to have a mechanic fix her cars. She even dropped an engine into her 71 Duster and put the transmission in on her own.
#24
The creepy and inappropriate questions and comments the older men make to the young bartenders where I work.
Nandina 3 years ago
My father-in-law, used to embarrass the crap out of me with that stuff. He used to always say " I gave her my most engaging smile" then tell the family something he said that was SO inappropriate, sexist, rude, ugly.... Usually said to a nurse, as he was always going to the doctor for some ailment. Also, the innuendo comments usually accompanied with a wink. Disgusting man.
#25
Squirrel563 said:
Some get annoyed at other guys for having fun when you’re out....having fun.
Spin81 replied:
In the same vein, guys who can't go out for drinks without picking a fight.
Ryan Deschanel 3 years ago
They think the "alpha male" is a real thing, and they want to be agressive and assertive so tenths of women fall for them. Dude, it does not work. Being a bad boy has never been attractive.
What do you think ?
denzoren 3 years ago
Many cases of fragile masculinity and poor upbringing. It's really sad to know this is the state of some men. We must also make the change, let them know what they're doing is wrong. Or support each other when we're in need of support. That's the only way we can do better for us and for women.
Never Stop Twinkling™ 3 years ago (edited)
#26: When male 'friends' ridicule other men (me included) for liking Pink color. #27: When male 'friends' keep blaming the dress whenever something really bad happens to a woman and when you call them out for it, it then turns into a heated argument. #28: In public areas or spaces: When a boyfriend/husband/romantic partner/etc (with a fragile ego) is with his significant other and he gets unnecessarily aggressive, defensive or he enters bragging-mode simply because I'm around (even though when I'm totally uninterested in both of their presence as I'm either waiting for the bus or train! 😆) #29: Sitting, standing or dancing in a particular way and BOOM getting called 'feminine' or something far worse than that. #30: Getting called for numerous of things simply for being (and wanting to remain) single.
Grady'sRaider 3 years ago
The guy who has to use a crushing handshake. BTW, the martial arts reply to this is to break the arm.
denzoren 3 years ago
Many cases of fragile masculinity and poor upbringing. It's really sad to know this is the state of some men. We must also make the change, let them know what they're doing is wrong. Or support each other when we're in need of support. That's the only way we can do better for us and for women.
Never Stop Twinkling™ 3 years ago (edited)
#26: When male 'friends' ridicule other men (me included) for liking Pink color. #27: When male 'friends' keep blaming the dress whenever something really bad happens to a woman and when you call them out for it, it then turns into a heated argument. #28: In public areas or spaces: When a boyfriend/husband/romantic partner/etc (with a fragile ego) is with his significant other and he gets unnecessarily aggressive, defensive or he enters bragging-mode simply because I'm around (even though when I'm totally uninterested in both of their presence as I'm either waiting for the bus or train! 😆) #29: Sitting, standing or dancing in a particular way and BOOM getting called 'feminine' or something far worse than that. #30: Getting called for numerous of things simply for being (and wanting to remain) single.
Grady'sRaider 3 years ago
The guy who has to use a crushing handshake. BTW, the martial arts reply to this is to break the arm.
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