Hey Pandas, What Is The Best Insult You’ve Ever Heard? (Closed)

What's one of the cleverest or funniest insult you've ever heard?

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If your brains were dynamite, there wouldn't be enough to blow your hat off. >:)

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Final score:

3points

Mushroom Garden

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DarkInfernoGamez 1 year ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

Winston Churchill's insult to Lady Astor.

Lady Astor: If you were my Husband I would poison your tea.

Churchill: If I were your husband I'd drink it.

such a classic burn.

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Final score:

2points

Andres Tejeda

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kjorn 3 years ago

this is the best i ever heard, but i also read that wasn't from him. but a good one!

2points

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I'd give you an ugly look but I see you already have one.

Cracks me up every time.

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Final score:

2points

Luella Stinson

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crustycow 3 years ago

Thats really good lol

1point

“Were your parents cousins, or did they just drop you on the head one time too many?”

There’s a certain word I don’t use because it is hurtful and insensitive to people with intellectual disabilities, but it is hard to refrain myself from those who are both hateful and stupid.

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Final score:

1point

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K. (Submission author) 3 years ago

I don’t find it humorous to use punishment on children/toddlers. Just had to point that out.

2points

"I could eat alphabet soup and s**t better lyrics than that"
Johnny Mercer, after being asked his opinion about a particular song

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Final score:

1point

Mark Serbian, PK&RG,W

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My kid said this to me once, 'Go step in a puddle!' I couldn't get ahold of myself for hours...

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Final score:

1point

The Lost Kin

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shark172 3 years ago

Ok.........

1point

Who pissed In your cereal?

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Final score:

1point

Ranboo beloved He/They

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bully: *say literally anything mean/rude*

me: no u

if u r ever in trouble, just bring out ol' reliable.

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Final score:

1point

jonnotheGOAT

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Not mine, I have to credit Lin-Manuel Miranda for this one:

Sittin’ there useless as two shits

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Final score:

1point

FurryManiac

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Zenya Jiwani 2 years ago (edited)

here's a roast : there's only one thing wrong with your face, i can see it

0points

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#10

We seem to have trouble communicating. Should I clap to let you know when I’m finished?

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Final score:

0points

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See Also on Bored Panda

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Thrill-Seeking Diver Jumps Down Extreme Waterslide, Ignoring The Strict Ban For Women

#11

Overheard a 2 gentlemen arguing in Portugal:

Calado eras poeta.

Means: With your mouth shut, you're a Poet.

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Final score:

0points

ojjunior

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#12

You're so dense, light bends around you.

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Final score:

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Nikki Sevven

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#13

Person 1: *makes depression joke*
Person 2: Well if you're so sad then just die
Person 1: Hunny if I wanted to die I would just jump from the very top of your ego down to your IQ level. Back off.

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Final score:

0points

8-ball

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Zenya Jiwani 1 year ago

that was pretty funny

0points

#14

Sorry for the politics but ngl this is kinda funny:
*Word for word*
Clinton: It's just awfully good that a person with the temperament of Donald Trump is not in charge of the law in our country
Trump: Yea, because you'd be in jail

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Final score:

0points