lmao..this one is hilarious

I approve and support a change to coma toes

I snorted-

"Im taking my car to the autocorrect!" Definitely works

lol ok this one is the best

Soooo very true.

Lmao so true

Italy: Caesar dressing

Don't use that (dial) tone with me!

That what i call them anyway, free the boobies

That's because we don't want to know about Trump's borderline erection.

Now this one! Is clever!

Sorry dad

Same person who knew vets treat other animals besides dogs? Let me fix this one: What idiot called it a veterinarian instead of a peterinarian?

Actually thats where the word Lunatic comes from; Luna, meaning moon, for the believe that it was the power of the moon that made a person crazy the same way a full moon messes with cats and dogs.

Ok i enjoyed this one

Ballzheimers lmao

I know this isn't what this is about but Jet Ski is actually a name brand like Kleenex. It's actually called a "personal water craft"- which is... not a cool name. I learned that recently and now you're stuck with it too- I'm so sorry you read that.

I'm almost certain that Chris Pratt asked this at some point

That sounded so good, I wondered if there was a lawn fertiliser with this name already. There isn't but there is a bio fuel company that makes its product with grass!

No but it actually is called that! Ilion is a name for Troy and thus Iliad means pretty much Troy Story

Diafeeties makes it sound better in some weird way

"Stay on the sidewalk!" "But there aren't any around!"

Because you do not snap them yourcellf?

This made me chuckle... Meal Armstrong.

Ouchie

And a others checkmeout is called a 'Selfie'

Bread Solarium

My favourite!