NEVER underestimate the power of grandmas!!

I think you both have a great sense of humour!

Oh dignity, where did you go?

What are the chances?! That's hilarious

oh God - mortification x 10

No. No. No no no-no no!

I have learnt there is no modesty in a hospital.

AKA The Snart

Being an ex-waitress, I would have picked up the tab for BOTH of them

I'd have loved it if the story ended with "...and now we've been married for ten years and have two children!"

I can't count the times I've said "Be safe, love you." when ending conversations with perfect strangers. Apparently I have a secret tendre for my dry cleaner and the guy who takes my lunch order. It's just like muscle memory, your mouth just says it out of habit.

I love that the other guy gave him a thumbs up. There are so many people with disabilities that aren't immediately obvious and others that are completely hidden.

*snaps fingers "yup! I knew it...good to see you again!..."

Well, it could have been worse... The knee is a pretty safe spot after all :)))

The sentient machine shall remember this and spare your life when the takeover happens.

If the guy was a pervert and I knew that was his brother, I'd still tell him. Nothing to be embarrassed about.

When's the wedding?

So, are they mother and daughter or not?

Why is this embarrassing? If I was the guy with no arms I would have just nodded in the right direction or something. There ARE other ways to "point."

The is a picture that I didn't want in my mind...

oh... oh dear. I think I would have moved.

Translation: while alone in the house, someone knocked at the door. He stood there and said, “Police, we’re doing door to door visits looking for someone in the village.” He handed me a card with a photo on it. “Sorry, never seen him before,” I replied. “That’s me,” he said, as he took his ID back.

I'm not sure I'd ever be over that enough to share it. I applaud your courage!

"BOO!" Is kind of an odd thing to say to a quiet room tho....

Oops.

Many people seem to have very poor control of their sphincter muscles.

Yeah, there's probably no coming back from that...

Not your fault. You weren't to know and if the dude didn't show ya before getting into an argument or not explaining to you properly, it seems like they were trying to make you feel bad, and in front of people.

This is the third dentist-tongue story on the thread! I didn't realise that dentists tasted so nice!

A rule of life - never congratulate someone for their pregnancy until they actually tell you they're expecting. I've avoided some very close calls by following that maxim!

Much worse things in that world can happen to people than beeing naked at a beach for a second. Relax.

I regularly leave the house with the TV remote in my bag instead of my mobile

A friend of mine was a Virgin until she married. Her brother is still a Virgin.

*queue benny hill music*

He took the joke well. So Kudos to him

FFS, this hard-to-read mess is why we b***h about grammar and punctuation!

Another one bites the dust.

Yep you and your friend are horrible people

This will never happen with me cause I never say "I love you" just like that lol ...

Phrases like this are so common place in the English language. I remember being told by a blind person that they don't let it matter as they are just everyday sayings and no-one means any harm.

My actual mom was my science teacher in 5th grade... I called her "Hey, you" =_=

is that a taxi or wut

I was going through the checkout line at Kmart when the cashier told me my item was 50% off. I meant to say sweet but instead said sweetie. I just walked away.

I think I did the opposite of this and made the person knocking embarrassed. They asked if my parents were home and I said "umm I own this house. My parents don't live here". It was awkward for me and I'm sure it was for them too haha

You didn't even bother to look first??

Don't they feel... different?

She was warned.

Moley, moley, moley.

Well, it's not really your fault there