Join the Fun!

When I was a kid my parents told me and my brother about the candy witch. She was a nice witch who came on Halloween night when you were sleeping and took most of your candy, but left a present in return. So my brother and I got to keep 10 pieces of candy and the rest went to the candy witch, and when we woke up we had awesome presents waiting for us. And that’s how my parents got to eat all our candy and prevented us from eating a s**t ton. Super smart and will be using on my own kids.

kaseythedragon Report

Final score:

278points

POST

Dashel 1 year ago

My parents always called it the great pumpkin

73points

The Original Bruno 1 year ago

Oh, brother... You blockhead! (It's a reference, don't downvote me.)

28points

River wolf 1 year ago

Mine said “candy tax” we got absolutely nothing in return and they still do it. I think they just did it to steal half our candy.

4points

Lemme get the lemons 1 year ago

Was your last name Van Pelt, by any chance?

3points

LinkTheHylian 1 year ago

He ate all of Charlie Brown's friends.

1point

Sophia Bartlett 1 year ago

We had the great pumpkin, but he gave us a present for Halloween just cuz. Our version of this was the Switch Witch. We were supposed to give her candy and she'd give us a gift in return

1point

Elisa 1 year ago

My parents called it "parant tax" 😂

0points

RapidUnscheduledDisassembly 1 year ago

It's called "Switch Witch" these days.

9points

Bobert Robertson 1 year ago

What if it identifies as a wizard?

1point

hearditontheX 1 year ago

My kid hid her candy bc she was convinced we stole the candy bars at night

6points

maddie 1 year ago

Did you?

6points

Tee Rat 1 year ago

My dad would always dig through and tell us which pieces we wouldn't like.

5points

StrangeOne 1 year ago (edited)

My daughter would just make a small pile of the candy she didn't like, such as Twizzlers, Mars bars and those molasses things. If I wanted another candy she just said to ask her. I thought that was fair. The candy was intended for her and she was the one awkwardly going up to stranger's homes and having to chat with them while they were sizing up her costume to see if it was enough effort for the reward. People are like that here. When I was a kid I was the candy witch, sneaking into my pumpkin pail ever so quietly at night, thinking my mom was asleep but still alert. She was always alert to the slightest sounds. Now I know it was because I had just brushed my teeth and I was risking the cavities.

4points

Anonymouse 1 year ago

Wait... My parents did the same thing, except it was only 5 pieces of candy, so my siblings and I would just try to hide most of it 😂

4points

Beetlejuice 1 year ago

My parents told me it was Jack Skellington from Nightmare before Christmas.

4points

fair_weather_rose 2.0 1 year ago

Halloween night I had to divide my candy into 2 equal piles, 1 for me and 1 for the candy witch. My mom would watch me to make sure all types of candy were divided equally and I didn't just keep all the good candy for myself. I later found out that the candy would be taken to my dad's work where he would share it with his colleagues.

2points

Dylan Rivera 1 year ago

Well that was kind of mean, I bet they got diabetes

1point

Dylan Rivera 1 year ago

What I mean by they I mean the parents

0points

Double the trouble 1 year ago

My parents don't do that

1point

Kiki’sNotLookingBack 1 year ago

My parents did a "Switch Witch", where 10 pieces of candy= one dollar. Saved us from eating too much, we got money and it was donated. Awesome.

1point

Satan Laughs 1 year ago

Oh god horrible. 10 pieces only?

0points

Penny Kemper 1 year ago

I ate some of my kids candy. But I'm doled it out over time. Their candy usually last six months or more.

0points

Patricia Herb 1 year ago

I just ate all of her candy the same night and was surprised to hear it was gone the next morning FOR YEARS. She didn't seem to care.

0points

Regina Granat 1 year ago

We did that with the Halloween fairy. Worked like a charm. Candy went to the office.

0points

Grey Aria 1 year ago

Or- hear me out- you can teach your kids healthy eating habits and not lie to them. Just a thought.

0points

Klopec 1 year ago

I just ate candy like the rest of the kids, like a pig!

0points

50 Weirdest Lies Told By Parents That People Caught On To Way Too Late To be quiet when hunting mushrooms because they would go back into the ground. Was in my early 20s before I discovered it was a ruse to just get us to shut the hell up.

MethodMZA , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

265points

POST

Astrius 1 year ago

I mean, if i was a mushroom and heard kids making noise, I’d revert to the ground as well.

97points

Bored Panda got in touch with mental health writer, presenter, and activist Natasha Devon to learn more about how a kid’s psyche develops and what influences it. “Our teenage years are such a crucial time in our development. There are the physical and hormonal changes we go through but there are all kinds of interesting things going on neurologically, too.”

“That’s why our experiences during this time tend to be magnified and imprinted on our minds in a way other time periods aren’t. I write young adult fiction (my debut novel, Toxic, which is set in a high school, was published last year and the sequel, Babushka, is out in October) and coming-of-age stories have a special resonance, I think. Even the most mundane happenings feel like an adventure.”

50 Weirdest Lies Told By Parents That People Caught On To Way Too Late My grandma told us that smelling each other’s farts would give us enhanced strength and agility. Worst Christmas ever for us, funniest Christmas for her.

Donald_Keyman , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

257points

POST

Daniel Atkins 1 year ago

Ha ha that’s one funny grandma.

109points

50 Weirdest Lies Told By Parents That People Caught On To Way Too Late We were on a road trip one summer and I asked my dad what the purpose of rumble strips was.

He told me they were for blind drivers.

anon , Eddy Silva Official Report

Final score:

253points

POST

R Dennis 1 year ago

Hahaha! I love it!

46points

50 Weirdest Lies Told By Parents That People Caught On To Way Too Late My father always said the animals on the side of the road were just taking a nap because the road was warm.

Donald_Keyman , Esra Korkmaz Report

Final score:

235points

POST

glowworm2 1 year ago

Okay, that’s kind of wholesome.

143points

Of course, realizing late that something was a white lie or even a more blatant lie can make an adult question a lot. We do tend to think the decision we make as teens have a lot of impact and generally these are decisions made with limited information, so we were curious to hear if our childhood choices really did have that much influence on our futures. “It’s weird how you can be completely different but also basically the same as you were in adolescence.”

“I work with teenagers in my day job (visiting schools and colleges and giving talks and doing research on mental health) and whilst they are definitely not the finished product and they’re going to try on several different identities before they find out who they are, you definitely get a sense of the essence of the person. You can see the building blocks they are working with.”

50 Weirdest Lies Told By Parents That People Caught On To Way Too Late If we didn't brush our teeth before bed mice will climb into your mouth and eat the food between your teeth. That's why your mouth tastes gross in the morning when you don't brush, the mouse poops in there

canada_mike , Ketut Subiyanto Report

Final score:

233points

POST

Couragetcd 1 year ago

It's gross, but not as gross as dental bills can be.

93points

My son had a patch on his arm that was a hairy birthmark. I told him that he'd actually been born as a puppy and that gradually he turned into a boy. He lost his bark and used words instead, that he learned to walk on his back legs and to stop chewing bones and enjoy people food instead. The story was very elaborate, and then I dramatically grabbed his arm and pointed to the birthmark on his arm and declared this was the proof because it was the last bit of puppy skin left on him. He really believed it for a while and was delighted to have been a puppy.

Tobybrent Report

Final score:

223points

POST

Daniel Atkins 1 year ago

I had a great uncle with a skin graft scar on his face. He told us it was an alligator bite.

82points

My mom always told my brother and I that the car couldn’t work if we didn’t latch our seatbelts. She even faked a break down and pulled over on the side of the road when she caught us trying to sneakily unlatch to test her claim lol

fiona_may_97 Report

Final score:

210points

POST

Nina 1 year ago

One of the best! My mom used to do this too with the children she was a nanny for, worked like a charm :)

65points

“When I hang out with the friends I made at school they know me in a way that friends I made more recently cannot. There is absolutely no BS because they understand the essence of me. I feel the same about them – They’re parents, now and have grown-up jobs. They have grown and flourished in so many ways, but their fundamental qualities haven’t changed.”

#10

Dad told me those were tomatoes he was growing in the basement. They were not tomatoes.

ghunt81 Report

Final score:

186points

POST

Sea Squirrel 1 year ago

My brother told my mom the same. A couple of days later, she told him the green soup she made, was tomato soup. He immediately rushed to the garden. His plants were gone. So was the spinach. But he didn't notice that. Mom had a good laugh.

97points

#11

Toys R Us is closed when the R is backwards.

keyser_sosaveme Report

Final score:

186points

POST

Couragetcd 1 year ago

Tricky tricky parents

51points

#12

50 Weirdest Lies Told By Parents That People Caught On To Way Too Late Those big rolls of hay on farms...my dad always told us they were elephant cocoons.

hornedgirl , Nikolett Emmert Report

Final score:

178points

POST

glowworm2 1 year ago

Hah! That’s hilarious.

46points

“Anyone who shaped our life journey is going to be interesting. First loves are always intriguing. That’s especially true if things didn’t end well. I think some people feel resentment if they imagine that their ex-partners are being a better version of themselves – one they potentially had a hand in creating – with new beaus! It’s also a way to imagine ‘What if’ – all those Sliding Doors moments where our life could have turned out differently.” she shared with Bored Panda.

#13

50 Weirdest Lies Told By Parents That People Caught On To Way Too Late That if I kept hitting the horn in the car, it would run out of 'beeps' and we'd have to buy a new one and we couldn't afford that. I didn't know any different until I was 17 and learning to drive..

anon , Wavy_ revolution Report

Final score:

175points

POST

Nicki Violet 1 year ago

Horns can actually wear out though!

44points

#14

My dad told my brother that growing in chest hairs is an excruciatingly painful process. Days later, as my brother walks past my dad in the living room, my dad clutches is chest and screams, "AAARRRGGHHHH! Another god damn chest hair!" Scared bro sh**less. He believed it until he grew in his own.

OneEyedWilson Report

Final score:

174points

POST

Astrius 1 year ago

He was traumatized then, imagine when he found out about pubic hairs.

120points

#15

My mom said they only named hurricanes after girls otherwise they would be himicanes.

Donald_Keyman Report

Final score:

171points

POST

Astrius 1 year ago

« We are yet to name this unnamed themmicane. »

89points

Ultimately, understanding the past can bring peace and closure, as well as some degree of entertainment, but it’s not necessarily the key to unlocking something special in the present. In most of these cases, the real value was reminiscing on the clever, weird, or just a bit of fun. And if you want to hear more from Natasha Devon, you can find her book here, her website here, her Instagram here and you can listen to my LBC show every Saturday.

#16

My sister hated eating fish when she was little, so whenever my parents fed it to her they told her it was "aquatic chicken". universal thing.

Frostillicus8711 Report

Final score:

161points

POST

Daniel Atkins 1 year ago

Ahh chicken of the sea.

82points

#17

50 Weirdest Lies Told By Parents That People Caught On To Way Too Late That the mannequins in clothing stores were kids who didn't behave and were taken to the "dungeon" in the store. Where they would promptly be made into a mannequin...

r35h93 , Kitti Incédi Report

Final score:

157points

POST

Winnie the Moo 1 year ago

Great idea for a movie though

92points

invincibleirondani Report

#18

My parents when I was kid (starting from the time I was about 4), told me I was adopted from the zoo. Told my brothers and my entire family to tell me the same damn story. The reason they said this is because my tailbone sticks out farther than it should. (IT IS WEIRD. I KNOW IT. DONT MAKE FUN DAMN IT). So when my third grade teacher asked me to bring in a photo from where I was from. I moved to Florida from New york and I brought her a picture from one of the zoos up there. I explained the story about how my dad stole a monkey from the zoo. Cut off my tail just far enough so I became human.

Needless to say she called my parents and they then had to explain to me i wasnt adopted from the zoo.

Final score:

154points

POST

Couragetcd 1 year ago

This one is messed up. OP is obviously self conscious about their tailbone years later. Unless it required medical attention, no one would have known or noticed this. If it did need medical attention, OP would know they were not really a monkey.

134points

#19

I was born with a full head of hair and my mom said that she knew I would have lots of hair because she would cough up hairballs while she was pregnant. It took until high school anatomy class for me to realize there is not a direct connection from your uterus to your throat. Also women don't cough up hairballs

tikiwooki Report

Final score:

153points

POST

Couragetcd 1 year ago (edited)

There is an old wife's tale that if you have bad morning sickness, your baby will have a lot of hair. Nothing about hairballs though.

48points

#20

My parents got divorced somewhat early on, so my mom spent years being a single mother with four kids. Unsurprisingly, we were poor and didn't have dessert all that much. When she would be able to bake a cake, we were forbidden to run or jump in the house because that would make the cake "fall" and be ruined. Of course we weren't willing to mess that up, so we would be quiet for an hour - which was exactly the intention.

Only somewhat ashamed to admit, I was in my early twenties, relaying this "fact" to my girlfriend, when it hit me what she had done.

middleagedkid Report

Final score:

144points

POST

The Mediterranean Fruit 1 year ago

Certain cakes can fall due to extreme or sudden noise...I think. Correct me if I am wrong

140points

#21

50 Weirdest Lies Told By Parents That People Caught On To Way Too Late My parents told me I had to tell the mailbox where a letter was going or else it wouldn't get there.

They would watch and laugh as 5 year old me would talk to the big blue mailboxes.

Dang_it_KK , Sergey Platonov Report

Final score:

144points

POST

glowworm2 1 year ago

Okay, that is really cute though.

67points

#22

My dad told me my goldfish ran away.

Mirraklewhippn Report

Final score:

137points

POST

Couragetcd 1 year ago

...to join the alligators in the sewer or the circus?

53points

#23

My parents used to set the clocks back on New Years Eve. For years we thought it was a special treat to stay up until "midnight" to ring in the new year, when really it was only 9 o'clock. I never saw the Times Square ball drop until I was 16!

sessnight Report

Final score:

134points

POST

Daniel Atkins 1 year ago

Work smarter not harder.

66points

#24

That the German for windscreen wiper was Flippenfloppenschmerenmachinen. It was a April fool that was believed for about 6 months

twovectors Report

Final score:

129points

POST

Not-a-Clue (she/her) 1 year ago

Knowing a little German, I could well believe that!

98points

#25

When I was little (think six or seven) I was terrified of the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disneyland. It just so happened to be one of my dad's favorites. So, to help my sister and I get over our fears, he used some positive reinforcement. Every time we got on the ride, we would find a silver dollar next to us. Dad said the pirates had given us some of their treasure. It took me an embarrassingly long time to put two and two together. I thought every kid got treasure.

ederpin Report

Final score:

112points

POST

Couragetcd 1 year ago

If bribing my kids got me extra rides on my favorite park rides, I would in a heartbeat

37points

#26

50 Weirdest Lies Told By Parents That People Caught On To Way Too Late When i was really young, my mum would unplug the bath and told me if i didn't get out before all the water had drained, i would get sucked down and have to live in the sewers...

User261 , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

111points

POST

glowworm2 1 year ago

That would only encourage the kid more because the teenage mutant ninja turtles and flushed baby alligators live there.

54points

#27

If I misbehaved, Michael Jordan would retire. I remember so vividly the first time he retired. Then I did everything they told me and he came back out of retirement.

nursejoe74 Report

Final score:

110points

POST

Daniel Atkins 1 year ago

So did you misbehave when he played for the Wizards?

24points

#28

50 Weirdest Lies Told By Parents That People Caught On To Way Too Late My dad told me that kiwi fruit was actually monkey eggs.

This led to a bunch of rotten fruit under my bed.

DoctorStein , Any Lane Report

Final score:

110points

POST

glowworm2 1 year ago

Poor kid just wanted to hatch a monkey.

58points

#29

In order to get me to stop sucking my thumb when I was really young, my mom told me that if I kept on doing that it would turn red, then purple, and then fall off. I ignored her warning and kept on doing it. One night when I was sleeping, my mom dyed my thumbs red. I woke up freaking out but quickly resumed sucking my thumb. The next night she dyed it purple. I freaked out so bad I never sucked on it again.

ladypau29 Report

Final score:

107points

POST

Couragetcd 1 year ago

Kinda mean, but again, not as mean as dental bills can be

53points

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

See Also on Bored Panda

Thrill-Seeking Diver Jumps Down Extreme Waterslide, Ignoring The Strict Ban For Women

#30

One New Year's Eve when our daughter was about five, she decided that she wanted to stay up until midnight. By 9pm, she was overly tired and generally foul. By 9:30, we had enough. We explained to her that since her dad is Swedish, we celebrated Swedish New Year. Which we conveniently decided took place at 10pm. We all made it to bed by 10:30. For the next few years, we celebrated "Swedish New Year" until she was old enough to put the pieces together and realize that she had been lied to.

1boxfox Report

Final score:

98points

POST

Verena 1 year ago

Use time zones and show on internet that thy celebrate there

38points

#31

50 Weirdest Lies Told By Parents That People Caught On To Way Too Late When I was little I badgered my mom to look at something while she was otherwise occupied and she said "I am looking, I have eyes in the back of my head." For years after that I suspiciously examined the back of her head trying to find those hidden eyes.

cosmic_potato , Ron Lach Report

Final score:

95points

POST

R Dennis 1 year ago

My mom said she had eyes everywhere... I remember checking under the TV, in the thermostat, above the couch...

33points

#32

If I went outside without telling them where I was going, elves would kidnap me and only let me eat brocoli.

anon Report

Final score:

90points

POST

Couragetcd 1 year ago

At least it wasn't the broccoli monsters getting the bad rap this time...

18points

Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics)

See Also on Bored Panda

“Ma’am I Live Here”: Woman Refuses To Back Out Of Driveway, Learns A Lesson The Hard Way

#33

As a way to get me to eat my crust when I was younger, my parents told me that eating it would make me whistle. Unfortunately, I believed this until I was 15 because I’m a dumbass.

SantaIsADoucheFag Report

Final score:

89points

POST

RabidChild 1 year ago

Don't feel bad, my Dad told me spinach would put hair on my chest. I don't know why I, as a girl, thought chest hair was something to be desired but it got me to eat spinach. Looking back, I'm pretty glad Dad was full of s**t.

66points

#34

When I was a kid I asked my mom what the word was for a female's private parts, and she told me it was "vagola". And then one day we were at a Thanksgiving dinner and my mom was being mean to me in front of my family, so I wanted to get back at her and yell something very inappropriate. Lets just say my family was very confused when I angrily yelled "VAGOLA!!!" to my mom at the dinner table.

Forgeworld Report

Final score:

89points

POST

Billie Templeton 1 year ago

Your mom knew who she was contending with, it seems ;)

64points

#35

When my siblings and I were younger my parents would sometimes (usually weekend mornings) lock their bedroom door.

One of us would almost always want to just come in and say what's up, but they would tell us through the door that they were in there talking about "Christmas presents."

Be it June, August, s**t even January, it didn't matter - That was the go to excuse since it worked. They played our asses.

Anyways, now all grown up, we kind of figured it out and it has become a punchline for our family now.

"Hey dad, did you get mom a good birthday gift? Hoping to have some serious discussions regarding our Christmas presents?"

Idolized1 Report

Final score:

87points

POST

Couragetcd 1 year ago

Yeah...want to come in just to say what's up ....sure...no demands about being hungry or fights with siblings or messes that need cleaned up....right....parents probably needed a barricade along with the lock just to feel secure.

24points

50 Of The Most Incredible Shots That Were Submitted To The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards

See Also on Bored Panda

French Diver’s “Jewels” In Tight Swimming Trunks Become Talk Of The Town At Olympics

#36

When I was little, my mom told me that, if I touched a caterpillar, my head would swell to twice it's size. She got my older sister to confirm it as well, saying she saw it on the news. I believed this without question until I was 17 and my friend went to pick up a caterpillar. I said, "Don't! Your head will swell." As soon as the words came out of my mouth, I realized how stupid I was.

yunietheoracle Report

Final score:

82points

POST

Verena 1 year ago

Some of them are poisoness, so this actually could happen. White lie, which is okay

37points

#37

My father didn't actively try but I was convinced that he knew everything. When I asked stupid kid questions like 'why is the sky blue?' or 'how does the sun shine?' he would whip out this long as ELI5-ish scientific explainations about them. If he didn't know he would change the subject, research it later and then would tell me. He f-ed up when he was in a bad mood. I was 6 maybe 7 and asking a generic question like 'what are we having for lunch?' It was the first time I've heard him say 'I don't know' and I was so shocked. I even exclaimed 'But Dad you know everything!' I was 100% convinced that he was omniscient and he could have kept that illusion for so much longer :( Still. Good job, dad, good job...

Blumenrinde Report

Final score:

79points

POST

David 1 year ago

I had a similar situation with a friend I have known since her birth who thinks of me as her big brother. I enjoy learning about a wide range of things so on most topics I know some info or if a question is interesting and I don't know I'll go research it. She was far into adulthood when one day my answer was "I don't know" and she expressed surprise to her mom because she thought I knew everything. Which is silly of course because nobody knows everything but she was just used to me having an answer when she asked me things. To clarify - I never lied to her or knew she had that impression so the comment was a surprise to me.

6points

Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out

See Also on Bored Panda

Mom Leaves $250k Inheritance To Son, Throws A Fit When Daughter Stops Looking After Her

#38

50 Weirdest Lies Told By Parents That People Caught On To Way Too Late My mom would tell me there were bugs in my nose when I had a cold to make sure I blew my nose.

App13hat , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

71points

POST

Billie Templeton 1 year ago

Well, she wasn't wrong exactly...

57points

#39

50 Weirdest Lies Told By Parents That People Caught On To Way Too Late I had 7 ~~younger~~ brothers, which kept sliding down the staires and they all died.

I never slided down a stair. S**t is dangerous

LangesHolz , Ksenia Chernaya Report

Final score:

71points

POST

ILoveMySon 1 year ago

Ouch. This one is brutal.

55points

RUGoin2TheMallLater , Craig Cameron Report

#40

50 Weirdest Lies Told By Parents That People Caught On To Way Too Late My mom once told me that while she was reading at the beach a severed hand washed up onto her foot. I was horrified for YEARS until one day I brought it up and she said "Oh, I wasn't serious." No life lesson involved, just some mom f**kery.

Final score:

70points

POST

Couragetcd 1 year ago

Did Mom just not want to take the kid to the beach?

18points

#41

My mom told me if I made weird faces, my face would get stuck that way.

_Black_Dahlia Report

Final score:

70points

POST

Brainmas 1 year ago

I was waiting for this one. My grandparents told me this too. For some reason there was also something about getting smacked in the head while making a face to make it stick.

44points

Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk

See Also on Bored Panda

“This Breaks My Heart”: People Stunned—And Angry—After Woman Buys Lost Luggage From Airport

#42

50 Weirdest Lies Told By Parents That People Caught On To Way Too Late That orangutan was pronounced "Orange-newton".

janeyk , Yan Krukau Report

Final score:

67points

POST

Mycroft1967 1 year ago

She was just monkeying around. Ape-so-lutely hilarious.

46points

StakeMeOutTonight , Mikhail Nilov Report

#43

50 Weirdest Lies Told By Parents That People Caught On To Way Too Late My mom told me that if I was a pack rat, that meant actual rats would come and make nests in my things.

(I was about 7, and had been tossing toys and clothes behind a little couch in my room as a method of cleaning. After she told me about what being a pack rat meant, I tearfully knelt on the couch with a bent wire coat hanger, fishing things out, terrified of rats.)

Final score:

61points

POST

Brainmas 1 year ago

Found a dead mouse in my daughter's room, so she's not wrong. Not even any food in there, just clutter all over the floor.

32points

#44

Bread crust is the healthiest part of bread so I had to eat it. I was like 25 when I figured that one out.

OnionsMadeMeDoIt Report

Final score:

61points

POST

freakingbee (she/he/they) 1 year ago

wait that’s not true😭

27points

#45

50 Weirdest Lies Told By Parents That People Caught On To Way Too Late If you break a pinky promise your pinky will melt off over night

MimicDeezNutz , Ron Lach Report

Final score:

58points

POST

AtMostTheFabulist Premium 1 year ago

Do you pinky promise? Oh, yes, my pinky promises.

20points

"I Didn't Start The Dryer": Karen Gets Taught A Lesson After Throwing Out Neighbor's Wet Clothes

See Also on Bored Panda

Guy Divorced 3 Years Ago Drops Off 3 Y.O. With His Ex-Wife Completely Out Of The Blue

#46

They said if anyone poked my bellybutton my butt would fall off, so whenever a family member would tickle me or try to poke my bellybutton I would cry and run away.

anon Report

Final score:

55points

POST

freakingbee (she/he/they) 1 year ago

diary of a wimpy kid??

22points

#47

Mess up in school and it will stay on your permanent record. That's the weirdest lie told to me by my parents.

MysteryVoter Report

Final score:

53points

POST

Couragetcd 1 year ago

Thank you for coming in to interview for our open managerial position. Now, I see here that you were late to French in tenth grade because you went to the bathroom without a hall pass? Can you explain your thought process during this incident?

78points

#48

When asking what "Ped Crossing" meant on street signs, my parents told my sister and I that Peds were 2 headed dog beasts that were incredibly violent. They then proceeded to tell us vivid stories of their close encounters with these beasts and their narrow escape from death. Needless to say, my teachers in school were quite confused when I tried to explain my fear of Peds.

NotTooDim Report

Final score:

51points

POST

BlitheSpirit 1 year ago

By any chance, are your folks Stephen and Tabitha King?

50points

#49

If you don't eat your vegetables, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles will die.

Donald_Keyman Report

Final score:

49points

POST

Couragetcd 1 year ago

Gee, I wonder what OP cared about as a kid....

25points

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College Student Does Exactly As Told After Roommates Demand They Keep Their Stuff In Their Room

#50

My mom used to say: If I didn't cover my mouth while yawning, a bug would crawl into it. As stupid as that sounds, I still cover my mouth to this day. I hate bugs.

thatonedude0823 Report

Final score:

49points

POST

Daniel Atkins 1 year ago

Well it is easier than explaining what being polite is to a very young kid and trying to come up with an answer as to why we do it to be polite.

22points

I am a writer at Bored Panda. Despite being born in the US, I ended up spending most of my life in Europe, from Latvia, Austria, and Georgia to finally settling in Lithuania. At Bored Panda, you’ll find me covering topics ranging from the cat meme of the day to red flags in the workplace and really anything else. In my free time, I enjoy hiking, beating other people at board games, cooking, good books, and bad films.

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I'm a Visual Editor at Bored Panda, crafting captivating visual content to enhance every reader's experience. Sometimes my mornings are spent diving into juicy dramas, while afternoons are all about adding extra laughs to the world by editing the funniest memes around. My favorite part of the job? Choosing the perfect images to illustrate articles. It's like imagining a story as a movie in my mind and selecting the key shots to tell the story visually.

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What do you think ?

POST

Monday 1 year ago

Feeling inspired I messaged my mom to ask what had actually happened to the bunny they "took to the farm" when I was like 8 or 9. I figured out as a teenager that "going to the farm" meant pet death but never really asked how he died. Turns out he actually did go to a farm. A local petting zoo type place actually. I spent my childhood believing the truth and convinced myself of a lie in my adulthood xD

18points

glowworm2 1 year ago

Aw! I love that this one was actually true and the bunny lived a good life there.

9points

Taryn Pirelli 1 year ago

Or. OR....is this the long con? O.o

4points

Noname 1 year ago

I am sorry for your loss. However.... My 1st year living in France, I learned that church bells bring the baskets of goodies for children, not rabbits, which was OK by me because I appreciate other cultural traditions, until I passed by a chocolatier (chocolate shop) and in the window there was a beautiful Tour Eiffel recreated entirely in chocolate with a rabbits head skewered on it. The trauma for me was real and I've never quite recovered.

2points

JerriAdair 1 year ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Katie Lutesinger 1 year ago

Not my story, but my dad knew a guy who got skin cancer and had to have his nose removed. Supposedly he was at the supermarket one day and had forgotten to wear his prosthetic, and some little kid kept staring at him until the mother noticed and said "that's what happens if you pick your nose!" Friend apparently thought it was hilarious.

13points

Mike Crow 1 year ago

I used to tell my kids that Halloween chocolate evaporates during the night and that is why every morning there was less than the night before.

13points

Did I say that out loud? (he/him)cis/het 1 year ago

If the ice-cream van is playing its chimes ,it means they've run out and don't have any left. :(

8points

Debbie 1 year ago

I told my kids that in our neighbourhood it was the guy who collects metal playing the sound. So they never ran out... I think I told the truth this year or last year as I wanted an ice cream myself...

4points

HistoryLover(she/her) 1 year ago

There’s a white van that claims it’s an ice cream truck in my neighborhood. There is no music, no logo on the side, and a creepy guy who drives it. My sister and I both understood that we are not to go near that van without being told.

1point

Florence O'Grady 1 year ago

That's mean. Our aunt would just tell us she didn't have the money or just no. Not every time but every now and then we got something. But we usually had ice cream for dessert, after supper.

0points

witchling 1 year ago

My kids couldn't go with us to Jamaica because there was a sneaky group of people who'd go around and steal the big toes from visiting kids to make 'kid toe soup'. Don't judge me. My kids were/ are brilliant negotiators and I need something to set them on the back foot. It was funny enough that they weren't horrified and they still tease me about it to this day. And they've been to Jamaica as adults since. Yes they have all their toes.

7points

Petra Schaap 1 year ago

when i was 6 my mom told me the first day of the new school year, a monday, all the moms were so happy that all the kids went to school again, they would activate all the emergency sirens at noon. LO AND BEHOLD! (yes, the Netherlands is one of those countries that test the emergency sirens every first monday of the month....) i was so impressed :-D

5points

Peppy 1 year ago

I have half siblings that are 9/10 years older than me, they convinced me that sheep were called camels, yep my first teacher had a hard time convincing me this wasn’t true 🐪

5points

Taryn Pirelli 1 year ago (edited)

That my mom had a receipt to the hospital and could take us back if we were bad.

4points

María Hermida 1 year ago

That's cruel!

1point

Nice Beast Ludo 1 year ago

My dad used to scare the s**t out of me with the thumb trick. He was absurdly good at it. I really thought he was pulling off his thumb.

4points

SnackbarKaat 1 year ago

At the zoo as a toddler, my dad told me the crocodiles escaped. I was terrified! Oh he also told my cousin he was going to eat her pet rabbits. He was named 'uncle poison' for a good reason.

4points

Dan St John 1 year ago

The biggest lie ever told by a parent, the 2020 election was a fraud.

3points

Marilyn 1 year ago

When I was just shy of 3 and left in the yard by my older brother and sister and my three cousins while they went to the creek I found an irrigation pump and stuck my hand in the v-belt and lost 1/4 of my middle finger. Well long story short, when I would see a little kid picking their nose I would show them my finger and they would ask what happened and I would tell them that I used to pick my nose and one day a booger bit it off. I would tell my three boys that also and surprise they quit picking theirs. I know of a few kids that quit doing it to.

2points

Metalhead Turtle 🇺🇦 1 year ago

Am I the only one who was disturbed about the OP losing 7 siblings?

2points

María Hermida 1 year ago

The parents told her that to prevent her from sliding down the stairs. It was a lie. She didn't have seven siblings.

1point

Noname 1 year ago

We're Catholic, and until the 80s, my family respected the meatless Fridays and either ate fish or vegetarian meals. My eldest sister hated fish and any kind of seafood, so my exasperated mom tried making scallops, which my sister loved. Technically, it's not fish, but my sister didn't know it was a sea creature. She was in her 20s before learning what a scallop is. And I'm the disappointment in my family....

2points

Bubs623 1 year ago

My husband convinced my kids that if they let his sister, who is a nun, kiss them, they would grow up and become a priest/nun. It was strictly for his own amusement to watch his super naive but very determined sister chase our kids to "just let me give you a hug and kiss!" while my kids were screaming bloody murder and running away. they thought being a priest / nun was the worst thing possible. I over heard my daughter (last week!) whisper to her toddler to stay away from Aunt Sally....

2points

HistoryLover(she/her) 1 year ago

My parents told me the sink in my bedroom didn’t work(the previous owners put it in). I believed it until I was 12 and my parents allowed me to use the sink.

1point

Bored Trash Panda 1 year ago

Me and my husband, along with some other family members, had my son absolutely convinced that everything before 1950 was in black and white. I am not sure if he still believes it or not. he is 10 now.

0points

Natalie Westby 1 year ago

My mom used to tell me that I was related to almost all the boys in my high school. My high school is predominantly black and really small, as was our hometown. We had a handful white and Hispanic students too. Anyways, I figured out later that my mom had lied to me so that I'd avoid boys!

0points

Cathy Mitchell 1 year ago

To get him to run himself tired, I told my 3 year old grandson that the blue veins in your wrist was energy and when you were out it turned green (only I could see the color change because I have special Memaw eyes. He's 7 now and still will show me his wrist and asks if he has enough energy left to play. When it is close to bed time or time to stay quiet, I'd tell him it's green and he gets ready for bed.

0points

Livingwithcfs 1 year ago

My father had me convinced for years he was 29 and mum was 60. I was about 10 when the penny finally dropped

0points

POST

Monday 1 year ago

18points

glowworm2 1 year ago

Aw! I love that this one was actually true and the bunny lived a good life there.

9points

Taryn Pirelli 1 year ago

Or. OR....is this the long con? O.o

4points

Noname 1 year ago

2points

JerriAdair 1 year ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Katie Lutesinger 1 year ago

13points

Mike Crow 1 year ago

I used to tell my kids that Halloween chocolate evaporates during the night and that is why every morning there was less than the night before.

13points

Did I say that out loud? (he/him)cis/het 1 year ago

If the ice-cream van is playing its chimes ,it means they've run out and don't have any left. :(

8points

Debbie 1 year ago

4points

HistoryLover(she/her) 1 year ago

1point

Florence O'Grady 1 year ago

That's mean. Our aunt would just tell us she didn't have the money or just no. Not every time but every now and then we got something. But we usually had ice cream for dessert, after supper.

0points

witchling 1 year ago

7points

Petra Schaap 1 year ago

5points

Peppy 1 year ago

I have half siblings that are 9/10 years older than me, they convinced me that sheep were called camels, yep my first teacher had a hard time convincing me this wasn’t true 🐪

5points

Taryn Pirelli 1 year ago (edited)

That my mom had a receipt to the hospital and could take us back if we were bad.

4points

María Hermida 1 year ago

That's cruel!

1point

Nice Beast Ludo 1 year ago

My dad used to scare the s**t out of me with the thumb trick. He was absurdly good at it. I really thought he was pulling off his thumb.

4points

SnackbarKaat 1 year ago

At the zoo as a toddler, my dad told me the crocodiles escaped. I was terrified! Oh he also told my cousin he was going to eat her pet rabbits. He was named 'uncle poison' for a good reason.

4points

Dan St John 1 year ago

The biggest lie ever told by a parent, the 2020 election was a fraud.

3points

Marilyn 1 year ago

2points

Metalhead Turtle 🇺🇦 1 year ago

Am I the only one who was disturbed about the OP losing 7 siblings?

2points

María Hermida 1 year ago

The parents told her that to prevent her from sliding down the stairs. It was a lie. She didn't have seven siblings.

1point