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If you saw our publications on hilarious and honest Amazon reviews, you know how poetic people can be when they're describing the scissors they just bought. But that's not always the case.
There's a Twitter account called Weird Online Reviews (@reviews0context) and it collects fan-submitted pictures of consumer comments that aren't as wholesome or witty. Rather, a bit more dark and twisted. However, they can be just as funny if your sense of humor prefers that kind of stuff. No judging!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
The Claustrophobic Turtle 4 years ago (edited)
Well, we deserve enjoying the services that paid for.
The staff at Bored Panda added a few reviews with similar vibes to this list from our own hard drives but that's just because we had them laying around and remembered only after we discovered Weird Online Reviews.
There are two Twitter users running the show, moosh and Bl43ch.
"Me and my buddy Bl43ch created the account together and wanted to post weird reviews we'd either find ourselves or have followers submit their own online reviews they found," moosh told Bored Panda. "There are a lot of other Twitter accounts with a similar premise but different topics, so we wanted to make one exclusive to weird reviews found online."
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#2
Michelle M 4 years ago (edited)
The company should be sued for deceiving innocent drunk people.
Katie Lutesinger 4 years ago
At least now you have something new to pass out on when drunk. Silver linings and all that.
Lyn Moffett 4 years ago
Jeez, HOW drunk were you hahaha 150 dollars for an ice cream sandwich!!!
#3
Ryan Deschanel 4 years ago
It is a joke. I hope it is a joke. It f*****g absolutely NEEDS to be a joke.
So even though just a couple of guys can actually log in to Weird Online Reviews, in a way, all of its 67.8K followers are responsible for what appears in its feed. "Sometimes we find our content either by ourselves (like here) or we have our followers direct message us with something they found themselves."
As for curation, the duo doesn't overthink it. "If the review is funny and/or weird, we'll probably share it. If it's kind of mediocre or not really interesting, we probably won't," moosh explained.
#4
Lyn Moffett 4 years ago
They had those out years ago and I think that's the very reason they got banned as people were screaming at others in petrol stations etc to put their cig out hahaha
Michael Mckeon 2 years ago
I once got suspended for using one of them during class while the teacher stepped out to get paper. My fellow students had told the teacher I was smoking in class and even told him I burnt one in the head. I was dragged off the playground (I was 11yrs old) and made to front up to the principal. When I showed them the fake cigarette they said I was lying and suspended me anyway. Like a 11yr old is cunning enough to stash a fake cigarette just in case they ever need to produce fake evidence. Bloody Catholics
Yvonda Marie Levings 4 years ago
Maybe its a One Hitter to smoke weed with had one like that years ago
#5
#6
Shull GaRett 4 years ago
This should be available in every contact form when they ask you for a photo of the item you ordered when you are trying to tell them that the dam thing still is not here.
"We also don't really tend to post long reviews because a follower is less likely to sit and read through the whole thing. Except those that are genuinely really good," moosh added.
moosh couldn't recall a specific product or topic that their followers engage with the most. Whether people like it or not, it usually depends on that particular tweet.
"It's really random most of the time. We had one tweet reach over 21,000,000 impressions and it was some guy giving a mattress a one-star review because he was 'drunk at the time and thought it was a giant ice cream sandwich.'"
#7
Dianethe Dinosaur 4 years ago
I wish I knew what app this was. So I could definitely NOT check it out.
Aleš Kaučič 4 years ago
Hahaha,i agree...they use half of our electricity from our nuclear power plant for 50 years and they haven't pay one single dime for it by now...they also dispose their share of nuclear waste in bosnia, jerks
Vanja Vidovic 3 years ago
First, that is not the truth. Second, nobody's talking about nuclear plants but about nuclear weapons. Third, it would be wise decision to learn when not to speak or write. ;-)
Load More Replies... #8
#9
Toast Of Saint Louis 4 years ago
There was actually a serial killer who was commenting on the stuff he bought from Amazon.
Statista reported that in 2021, over 2.14 billion people worldwide are expected to buy goods and services online (up from 1.66 billion global digital buyers in 2016). So chances are we'll see more of Weird Online Reviews too!
#10
Mazer 4 years ago
Nah, buy it and put it in your car, it might be the chick magnet you clearly need
Daniel (ShadowDrakken) 4 years ago
Batman... designed to have small children on his lap... yup, that's on-brand.
Jane Dorothy Warner 4 years ago
Hah! I bought two Catbus and Totoro figures for myself. It's called growing up and buying what you want. :)
#11
Lexi Jensen 3 years ago
How do you know you are satisfied? Have you really thought about it? Have you?
#12
Andy Acceber 4 years ago
Google lets you rate entire countries? I could see that going horribly, hilariously wrong.
Vicky Z 4 years ago
I'm thinking Now.... do i want to check my country? Big dilemma!
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Robert T 4 years ago (edited)
You forgot to take your box of Lucky Charms as bait didn't you. ;-)
Argie Smith 4 years ago
Well, then, Eddie, it's plain to see that you didn't imbibe enough. That's the price of admittance. Do better next time you visit! Sincerely, Ireland.
#13
Miłka Chromińska 4 years ago
The seller giggles as he sits on his golden armchair eating diamond encrusted eel 😅
#14
Night Owl 4 years ago (edited)
I assumed it was a man who bought it. Women are more likely to have a social net to have meaningful and emotional discussions with or to seek out some other sort of therapy
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#15
Christer Berdén 4 years ago
Where do you live? In Sweden that will coastabout 9Euro
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Cold Contagious 4 years ago
I was wondering if she thought she got a little packet of dehydrated water and treatment chemicals in powder form, open up said packet, sprinkle in pool, add sunshine, and shazam instantly filled 😉
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Fluffy Griffin 4 years ago
So we have a 300 gallon kiddie pool, and I would dump it and refill whenever it got gross (every few weeks) because I thought, well water is only a few cents a gallon.... But then I got out the water bill and did the math. It's $0.02 a gallon... But then every gallon of water you use you are charged an additional $0.13 sewage fee, so every time I filled that pool it was $45 (instead of the $6 I was expecting)!
Douglas Campbell 4 years ago
I'd be more upset that there are only three days in the UK that are sunny and warm enough to use it.
#16
Bender Bending Rodríguez 4 years ago
OP says "Not enough coffins.." that means he at least found one coffin. What the heck is going on that beach?
Chris 4 years ago
TIL there's a Gloucester in America, and now I'm imagining them trying to pronounce it.
#17
Mazer 4 years ago
Except they used yellow to block out their info!! Nothing like sending mixed messages
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BoredPandaAddict 4 years ago
I love how in the edit for the photo (where they covered the name) it is in yellow! xD
Ladyandthetramp 4 years ago (edited)
I know that’s why I hate online public reviews. They can hurt the people by trying to be funny.
Load More Replies... #18
procrastination station 3 years ago
If I wore this my parents would definitely put me back in a hospital bed lol
#19
Two_rolling_black_eyes 4 years ago
To many, diameter is important. It doesn't matter how long the pipe cleaner is if it can't reach the sides.
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William Gabriel 4 years ago
I mean, getting less than half of what you pay for is legitimately BS. Glad someone called them out
Devil's Advocate 4 years ago (edited)
It's π r^2 h, why would they use d and then divide by 4, that's just messy
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Pedro Rocha 4 years ago
It's sad seeing so many people freaking out about a cylinder volume formula. It's early school level math.
#20
WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago
I think that they meant that they are still in there and their dad escaped.
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Kona Pake 4 years ago
I think what he’s trying to say is that he’s feeding the fish.
Load More Replies... Corbin Jernigan 4 years ago
I’m conflicted he rates full stars, but clearly isn’t happy with the product.
#21
Mark Howell 4 years ago
They must have been following an old guy out of Eqypt and missed the parting ;o)
Mayrene Chester 4 years ago
They were probably taking selfies at the end and couldn't get out in time
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tuzdayschild 4 years ago
Also, too far east. If they would move it a few miles (or kilometers, I'm not picky) west, it would be great
Damo Lee Park 4 years ago
Just cos camels are ships of the desert, doesn't mean their sea is one too
#22
SuperChicken 4 years ago
He thought he can have his (pan)cake and eat it, too. Ok, I'll show myself out.
Load More Replies... Fluffy Griffin 4 years ago
I get it. I once went to a restaurant that had horrible service. The waitress took the order and it took a crazy long time to come out (like 45+ minutes), and in the mean time the server didn't come back to the table. Finally got the food and it was barely edible, but by that time we just wanted to eat and go home (and not wait another hour for food that may or may not be better) so we ate enough to not be hungry. We only saw the server to take the order, drop off the food, and again when she dropped the check, so there was no real time to complain before eating a portion. We complained to the server when she brought the check but since we had eaten a bit we just paid and left.
John L 4 years ago
I've seen people eat the entire meal, then say it was unsatisfactory and ask for (and get) ar refund. No shame.
BetweenTheCracks 4 years ago
Dealt with people like that a few times when I worked in a hot dog stand years ago. They invariably 1) ate every crumb, 2) made their snide remarks only as they were leaving, and 3) left a hurricane-level mess for us to clean up. There are some real garbage people among us.
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Paul Mitchell 4 years ago
I can understand that ... you were just hungry but it wasn't totally inedible, so you are it. Hey, you don't have to go back!
Vicky Z 4 years ago
I absolutely hate it when people do that! If you eat it then it wasn't so bad and all you want is refund cause you are a cheap person! By the way I've been in a place where i had a snack that was not good but i was too hungry and ate it! But i didn't have the audacity to complain!
Candia Lee 4 years ago
I waded thru a second round of overly salted buffet food hoping for something worth eating; when I asked for a refund was told I'd been there too long.
#23
Neal Evans 4 years ago
Nah he ate some crappy noodle thing called zoodles but good try:)
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#25
Gail Nicholson 4 years ago
OK but what's it supposed to be a report on? The funny factor ramps up 1000% if you put it in context, like with the toilet brush one.
#27
Nadine Bamberger 4 years ago
Did your spouse try to vehicle slaughter you while you were wearing huge headphones? Blink twice for yes.
Bad Alchemy 4 years ago
Not sure how this saved Jorge's marriage, unless it was his spouse driving the car.
Gail Nicholson 4 years ago
"Transparency mode" what is that, and how does it help you to not get run over?
Add New Image
What do you think ?
Wandaluzt 4 years ago
Click the link under the pictures. Copy pasted from Reddit.
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Moo Moo Futch 4 years ago
Funniest reviews I ever read was the reviews on Amazon for a Ball point pen, the album "A Whole New World" by Peter Andre and Katie Price and a hair removal cream for men.
John Juan 4 years ago (edited)
Google: Tracy's dog review. It is the funniest you'll ever see. (Warning: Not for the kids.)
Load More Replies... 
Patti Vance 4 years ago
funniest amazon reviews can be found on the haribo sugar free gummies.
turtledove 4 years ago
oh my god i am never eating another gummy in my life
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BastWren 4 years ago
notdrem, "tonyjaa" is a bot...not a real person. Kind of like automatically-generated spam that fills your inbox. So there is no person on the other end of those comments to read yours. Maybe BP can develop an algorithm to detect and destroy them before they even appear here, but more than likely we will have to co-exist with them. Best to downvote and ignore.
Load More Replies...
Seabeast 4 years ago (edited)
On a Goodreads review for The Poisoner's Handbook (by Deborah Blum): "Please note: this book is not actually helpful if you were looking for tips on how to poison someone (unless you are the U.S. government, in which case there are notes scattered throughout on how to poison industrial alcohols)." 😳
Jeff Diamond 4 years ago
Two things: look up reviews of 1) sugar free gummy bears and Death Wish Coffee. Second, check out the podcast "Beach too Sandy, Water too Wet." Thank me later.
BlackPearltheSeaWing/NightWing 4 years ago
I saw a review about a potato cookbook once and it said, "My boyfriend dumped me for this book. there is no love, only potato."
Wandaluzt 4 years ago
Click the link under the pictures. Copy pasted from Reddit.
Load More Replies... Moo Moo Futch 4 years ago
Funniest reviews I ever read was the reviews on Amazon for a Ball point pen, the album "A Whole New World" by Peter Andre and Katie Price and a hair removal cream for men.
John Juan 4 years ago (edited)
Google: Tracy's dog review. It is the funniest you'll ever see. (Warning: Not for the kids.)
Load More Replies... Patti Vance 4 years ago
funniest amazon reviews can be found on the haribo sugar free gummies.
turtledove 4 years ago
oh my god i am never eating another gummy in my life
Load More Replies... BastWren 4 years ago
notdrem, "tonyjaa" is a bot...not a real person. Kind of like automatically-generated spam that fills your inbox. So there is no person on the other end of those comments to read yours. Maybe BP can develop an algorithm to detect and destroy them before they even appear here, but more than likely we will have to co-exist with them. Best to downvote and ignore.
Load More Replies... Seabeast 4 years ago (edited)
On a Goodreads review for The Poisoner's Handbook (by Deborah Blum): "Please note: this book is not actually helpful if you were looking for tips on how to poison someone (unless you are the U.S. government, in which case there are notes scattered throughout on how to poison industrial alcohols)." 😳
Jeff Diamond 4 years ago
Two things: look up reviews of 1) sugar free gummy bears and Death Wish Coffee. Second, check out the podcast "Beach too Sandy, Water too Wet." Thank me later.
BlackPearltheSeaWing/NightWing 4 years ago
I saw a review about a potato cookbook once and it said, "My boyfriend dumped me for this book. there is no love, only potato."
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