31 Truly Strange And Hilariously Cringe First Messages From The Universe Of Dating Apps

The world of modern dating can be cray-cray. More and more, people are turning to dating apps in the hopes of meeting their perfect match, but this doesn’t come without its pitfalls. With the ever-present hookup culture, unsolicited adult pics, catfishing, and profiles that use photoshopped images or filters, online dating is a potential minefield.

One Reddit user recently turned to the community to ask the question, “People who use dating apps, what is the weirdest message you’ve gotten to start a conversation?”, and the results were truly mind blowing. Keep reading for 31 of the strangest messages online daters have sent as an icebreaker.

More info: Reddit

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31 Truly Strange And Hilariously Cringe First Messages From The Universe Of Dating Apps Opened our initial conversation on PlentyofFish by asking for my detailed zombie apocalypse survival plan.

I fell in love immediately. We've been married for almost 12 years now.

anon , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

135points

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Fat Harry (Oi / You) 5 months ago

They found the only normal person on Puddle of Freaks. A friend of mine met two girls from PoF. The first basically just used him to move house, and the second's opening gambit was "I don't like to be touched".

23points

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31 Truly Strange And Hilariously Cringe First Messages From The Universe Of Dating Apps I once got an opening message that said something like “you might not be the prettiest girl on here, but beauty is only a light switch away.” This was over 10 years ago, and I bet that dude is still single.

Crystaltornado , Tara Winstead Report

Final score:

90points

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Lotekguy 5 months ago

President of his local incel chapter.

58points

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31 Truly Strange And Hilariously Cringe First Messages From The Universe Of Dating Apps My brother sent this girl a message on Hot or Not: "Do you like burittos?"

They've been together for 17 years and married for 11 now.

Henry__Every , Pixabay Report

Final score:

84points

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Fat Harry (Oi / You) 5 months ago

Hot or Not? Bloody hell, that takes me back.

20points

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As you can tell from looking at this list, there’s no end to the weirdness when it comes to starting a conversation on dating apps. You’d think that people would want to make the best first impression, but that’s clearly not been the plan when it comes to these truly odd messages.

Some are a little insulting, while others are just plain out there. Perhaps the people who sent these messages are trolling, or maybe they truly think kicking a convo off with a strange message will set them apart and make them stand out from the crowd.

Still, if you’re looking to put your best foot forward, it might not be the best idea to come on too strong or too strange, at first. Asking a potential mate what they do for a living, or what their favorite books or shows are, is a good bet. At least you have less of a chance of scaring them away with your opening salvo.

That being said, sometimes it can work. One user’s brother used Hot or Not to ask a prospective mate whether or not she liked burritos; the couple has now been together for 17 years and married for 11. That’s a happy ending in anyone’s books.

31 Truly Strange And Hilariously Cringe First Messages From The Universe Of Dating Apps A girl once messaged me with something along the lines of “do you ever see a bunch of cheese and say damn, I want to eat that cheese. And by cheese I mean my p***y”. I couldn’t help myself and replied that I’m lactose intolerant.

Teazykatka , Engin Akyurt Report

Final score:

80points

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Greengrass 5 months ago

EWWW!

46points

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31 Truly Strange And Hilariously Cringe First Messages From The Universe Of Dating Apps A friend got the message “Wow. Your eyes could start a cult”.

pinkynarftroz , Noelle Otto Report

Final score:

67points

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james stevenson 5 months ago

"That's funny because I actually use them as prisons for demons. Isn't that such a coincidence?"

46points

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31 Truly Strange And Hilariously Cringe First Messages From The Universe Of Dating Apps The weirdest first message I've received was "My hovercraft is full of eels", and I can't imagine what sort of conversation she expects if the person she sends the message to doesn't happen to be a Monty Python fan (we're getting old and rare here).

malsomnus , Jeffry Surianto Report

Final score:

66points

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Lotekguy 5 months ago

"And now for someone completely different... "

33points

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It is possible that weird can be wonderful. Just consider the ‘Manic Pixie Dream Girl’ trope made popular in more than a few of cinema’s recent years. The term “manic pixie dream girl” (MPDG) was first used by film critic Nathan Rabin in his review of “Elizabethtown” to describe Kirsten Dunst’s character in the movie.

Rabin wrote that the MPDG exists “solely in the fevered imaginations of sensitive writer-directors to teach broodingly soulful young men to embrace life and its infinite mysteries and adventures.”

In her article for popular Hollywood website, Backstage.com, Crystal Duran says a manic pixie dream girl is the embodiment of a certain male fantasy: a charming woman who “isn’t like other girls” and has no desires of her own. While she may possess personality traits or a backstory that suggest a fully fleshed-out character, the story gives her little to no space to develop, learn, or advance her own interests.

Duran goes on to say that this type of character exudes an aura of ethereal, quirky unattainability and that you can find MPDGs everywhere in popular culture, almost always in stories written and/or directed by men.

31 Truly Strange And Hilariously Cringe First Messages From The Universe Of Dating Apps Matched with a woman. Her first message was, “I guess you’ll do.”.

Bigt**s38 , Charlotte May Report

Final score:

57points

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Lotekguy 5 months ago

That seems promising. How hard was it to rein in your enthusiasm?

37points

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31 Truly Strange And Hilariously Cringe First Messages From The Universe Of Dating Apps “I want my wife to have your eyes.”

I don’t think it was meant like that, but my first thought was that the dude wanted to cut out my eyeballs.

CurvyCarrots , Noelle Otto Report

Final score:

56points

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Lotekguy 5 months ago

Reasonable to worry that the rest of his meaning was "for one of her recipes ".

30points

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31 Truly Strange And Hilariously Cringe First Messages From The Universe Of Dating Apps I was the weird one. I’d start off commenting about something in the background of a pic. If I couldn’t think of something funny I’d just say “how do you feel about geese?” Most people have strong opinions.

SomeS**ttyBean , Pixabay Report

Final score:

53points

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Jess Smith 5 months ago

My mom got chased by lots of them for bread once as a kid (which someone filmed instead of helping for some reason? Like, in the family?) so I have been raised with a strong hatred of geese.

22points

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On social publishing platform, Medium, author PsychoMarcus writes relatable insights on mental wellness, relationships, self-discovery, and personal growth. In his article titled, “Navigating the Competitive World of Online Dating: A Man’s Perspective”, he takes a closer look at the challenges and opportunities that men face when dating online.

He says that, while dating in the digital age has made it more accessible and convenient for people to meet potential partners, online dating can be highly competitive and challenging, especially for men. He goes on to say that making a good first impression is essential, but it can be difficult when there are so many other men vying for attention.

Not to say it isn’t as challenging for women. More than a few men walking this planet have been known to give online dating a bad name with their inappropriate advances and general bad behavior.

#10

31 Truly Strange And Hilariously Cringe First Messages From The Universe Of Dating Apps "Excuse me good sir, would you kindly like to hook up?"

She was clearly wasted. 5 minutes later she unmatches. Apparently she didn't like I wasn't available immediately. This isn't a f*****g Wendy's.

FriendsForEternityLH , Andrea Piacquadio Report

Final score:

51points

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AKA AKA 5 months ago

i dont think wendys does that kind of service anyway

48points

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#11

31 Truly Strange And Hilariously Cringe First Messages From The Universe Of Dating Apps After my girlfriend and I started dating, she showed me her dating profile so I could see how many messages she was getting. About 50-70 per day, most of them were just “hi”. A few were really creepy (“you look like my daughter/student/sister”), but one stood out to us and we laugh about it to this day.

“you ever get f****d by a marine baby”

No punctuation or question mark, so we asked ourselves “what, like a baby shark? Baby whale?” lol… In the end she had 1500 unread messages when she deactivated her account.

Soulfighter56 , adiprayogo liemena Report

Final score:

49points

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Lotekguy 5 months ago

Perhaps he left out the comma after marine. Regardless, probably not much of a loss.

26points

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#12

31 Truly Strange And Hilariously Cringe First Messages From The Universe Of Dating Apps I am a sterile man and a woman messaged me first on Tinder with "It's a shame you can't have kids. I mean, what if we fall in love after we f**k and I want to have your babies and I can't? I'm sorry, I don't think this is going to work." After I replied, she ignored it and unmatched a few days later. We were both looking for casual so extra weird.

As a bonus, when I moved to a new area, I decided to use Bumble BFF to make friends. I didn't realize that apparently gay dudes use it to low-key try to pick up straight men. The first message I got was a dude asking me if I would fart in his face with my cheeks spread open. I turned it off after.

Wishilikedhugs , Pixabay Report

Final score:

45points

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Dread Pirate Roberts 5 months ago

I'm sorry, I can't stop laughing at that last part 😂

34points

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Need advice on picking a pleasing path through the forest of dating apps? In an article for healthcare provider MindBodyGreen, an LLC based in Brooklyn, New York, contributing relationships editor, certified sex educator, and holistic dating coach, Kelly Gonsalves, says that the first key to successful online dating is picking the best dating app or dating site that’s most suited to what you’re looking for, and sticking with it.

Bored Panda reached out to Gonsalves to get her opinions on unconventional first lines from the world of dating apps.

When we asked her whether she had any advice for online daters who've received strange or odd opening messages, she had this to say, "If someone sends you a quirky opening line, I wouldn't necessarily write them off right away. A lot of people on dating apps are just trying their best to stand out because they know there's so many other options to scroll through."

Kelly goes on to say that some people might spring for an eyebrow-raising comment or edgy joke in the hopes that you have a genuine reaction of laughter (or even just "WTF?") that makes you want to respond.

Says Gonsalves, "Unless humor isn't your thing, I think it's totally fine to exchange a few messages with such people to see if there's more there beyond the jokes."

#13

31 Truly Strange And Hilariously Cringe First Messages From The Universe Of Dating Apps Whose d**k do I have to suck to suck a d**k around here.

Big-Carpenter7921 , Maurício Mascaro Report

Final score:

43points

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Lotekguy 5 months ago

Obviously someone to bring home to meet your parents.

30points

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#14

31 Truly Strange And Hilariously Cringe First Messages From The Universe Of Dating Apps As a man, I didn't get any opening messages. Got some doozy responses. One that still haunts me is when I sent this woman a nice opening message, talking about some of the things in her profile we had in common and asking a few open ended questions to start a conversation.

Her response was: "With all the hot military guys in town, you need to put your aim lower."

Then she blocked me. I thought I already had low self esteem, but it took another hit that day. lol.

TypeGreen51 , Rosemary Ketchum Report

Final score:

42points

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Lotekguy 5 months ago

Take heart. Her self-esteem might be too high.

59points

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#15

31 Truly Strange And Hilariously Cringe First Messages From The Universe Of Dating Apps I was on hinge for a while and saw someone had “can’t text/call/meet on weekends because I’m in jail.” I thought this was a joke. It was not. She was doing time on the weekend for assault.

Exobyter , RDNE Stock project Report

Final score:

42points

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ElfVibratorGlitter 5 months ago

Wait, part time jail? I wasn't aware that was a thing.

24points

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#16

31 Truly Strange And Hilariously Cringe First Messages From The Universe Of Dating Apps Some gay dude offering me a free place to live if I s**t in a box and gave it to him every time I s**t.

I was neither gay nor looking for a place to live and I didn't bother to ask what the s**t was for.

BasicallyJustAnIdiot , Kim Stiver Report

Final score:

39points

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Lotekguy 5 months ago

Best case scenario - compost.

36points

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When we asked Kelly why she thinks people come up with odd opening lines to woo a potential partner, she says that, on dating apps, many people feel like they need to do whatever they can to stand out amongst all the hundreds of options and messages people might be sifting through.

Kelly says that "If you can make someone laugh, they might actually stop and respond to you even just to send an equally funny response. Then you've got a little banter going, and you can start to have an actual conversation from there."

She adds that some people also just enjoy humor and silly banter in general, so it makes sense that they'd use something like that as an opening line.

#17

31 Truly Strange And Hilariously Cringe First Messages From The Universe Of Dating Apps "You want to be my first dark skin ;)?"
Some gay dudes really have no shame.

Karakara16 , nappy Report

Final score:

34points

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LizzieBoredom 5 months ago

"You want to be my first vehicular manslaughter?"

58points

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#18

31 Truly Strange And Hilariously Cringe First Messages From The Universe Of Dating Apps "You're cute , hate dogs though"

(I had very my cute dog in a photo).

DuffNinja , Helena Lopes Report

Final score:

30points

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Fat Harry (Oi / You) 5 months ago

That's a no from me. Could not live with someone who hated dogs. Dogs are life. Sorry, dogs and cheese are life (gotta be consistent with earlier reply)

43points

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#19

31 Truly Strange And Hilariously Cringe First Messages From The Universe Of Dating Apps I was on Bumble, and got asked my Myers Briggs personality type. When I responded, she unmatched immediately.

Gotta respect the hustle.

chromane , mikoto.raw Photographer Report

Final score:

29points

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Joshua Seaman 5 months ago

I once read that "Myers Briggs is basically corporate astrology", and that is so on point.

4points

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#20

31 Truly Strange And Hilariously Cringe First Messages From The Universe Of Dating Apps "WHY DON'T YOU SKYDIVE INTO THIS P***Y!!!" and then immediately unmatching me when I was like, "Woah now...".

Synamyn_Dyxon , Tom Fisk Report

Final score:

29points

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Fat Harry (Oi / You) 5 months ago

How big is it that you can skydive into it?

32points

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Bored Panda had one final question for Kelly: What would you suggest as the perfect opening message in the world of online dating?

Gonsalves says there's no one single message that's going to work on every single person. "We're all different in terms of what we find interesting and attractive in a potential partner, so my biggest tip is to adapt your message to whoever you're messaging."

She says a good go-to approach is to actually read through the person's profile thoroughly and respond to something they wrote, whether that's asking a follow-up question about something to spark conversation or making a joke that jumps off something they mentioned.

"And remember to have fun with it and show genuine curiosity! We can usually sense when it feels like the other person is just slogging through the process to try to get someone to respond to them, and it's not so cute." added Gonsalves.

Have you come across anything weirder than the come-ons in this list? What do you think of strange first approaches on dating apps? Interesting or just icky? Let us know in the comments!

#21

31 Truly Strange And Hilariously Cringe First Messages From The Universe Of Dating Apps Ah man. There were a few.

"What is your credit score?" (literally their first line after I messaged a greeting)

"Do you want children? I want to start having them in the next year." (this is coming from someone in their late twenties)

"I like it when people are mean to me. Can you f**k me up?" (that's baggage I can't handle even at the best of times)

"CNC?" (translates to "Consentual Non-Consentual"... hard no for me)

"You're not my type. But my gay friend thinks you'd be a good 'daddy.' Can I give him your number?" (kinda flattering, I guess?)

"My husband died last year and I am looking for someone to be a part of my family." (she had 3 kids, all sub 10 years old)

"You're white. I only date black guys." (so why'd you match with me???)

The list goes on. Needless to say, I periodically rage-quit dating apps after a month or two of this.

Shahfluffers , RUN 4 FFWPU Report

Final score:

28points

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Apatheist Account2 5 months ago

*Consensual

15points

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#22

31 Truly Strange And Hilariously Cringe First Messages From The Universe Of Dating Apps ‘Hi there! You look like Anne Frank’ 🙁.

Discotraxx1990 , Photo Collection Anne Fra Report

Final score:

25points

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Jess Smith 5 months ago

That's inappropriate on so many levels. Like, she was a *kid* when she died. And, probably more importantly, SHE DIED IN THE HOLOCAUST SERIOUSLY GUYS!

15points

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#23

31 Truly Strange And Hilariously Cringe First Messages From The Universe Of Dating Apps My ex got messaged by the Swiss Cheese Pervert on OK Cupid.

He started out respectful enough but by the 3rd paragraph was talking about how he likes to [enjoy some alone time] with cheese.

She told her friends but no one believed her (she blocked him so the messages disappeared) until he started [being a bit too intimate] with cheese in public, got caught and went viral.

negativeyoda , NastyaSensei Report

Final score:

23points

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Jess Smith 5 months ago

Okay, wait, is this talking about a guy fûcking cheese? Including in public? Or am I reading this wrong?

21points

and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 5 months ago

He’s a serial sex offender that offered people money to watch him rub cheese on his dingaling.

14points

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Stef 5 months ago

Masterbate is not a dirty word, and should stop being treated as such.

3points

PFD 5 months ago

You can follow the link in the text and read alllllllll about it. And honestly, with that teaser, why wouldn't you? 🤣

1point

Donald 5 months ago

I think you got the short and the long of it Jess.

1point

Paul Brown 3 months ago

Nope, that's exactly what they're saying. This guy is pretty well known in Philly.

0points

TheElderNom 5 months ago

I think you're reading it right. There used to be watch guy in a neighboring town. He might still be around but I haven't heard anything recently. He was banned from all stores that sold watches and he'd also ask people for the time, if they had a watch he'd ask to see the watch. If you let him he'd want a photo so he could buy the same one, also asking for model and how long ago you bought it. If you point out it's weird he has a cellphone but still asked for the time he'd say the clock was broken. Then stuff he asked and talked about would get weirder and weirder as well as more sexual.

0points

Dread Pirate Roberts 5 months ago

The fact that this guy has a title like a serial killer or a supervillain lol 😆

3points

Alexandra Nara 5 months ago

as a child I was told the holes in the cheese were made by cute little mice.. This seems to be the adult version then

1point

Dream 5 months ago (edited)

This is wild story. From the article: "according to the non-traffic citation issued to Pagano, he asked a woman, “I have a fetish when a girl sucks cheese off my d***. Will you do it?” The victim, whose name was not made publicly known on Tuesday, called police. The case landed him behind bars for two months." TWO MONTHS IN JAIL FOR ASKING THIS? Edit: If that's the case, what does Trump asking if you can inject bleach get? Or bomb hurricanes with nukes? Point being, people ask stupid questions all the time with no jail time.

1point

Ample Aardvark 5 months ago

I see your point, at least he asked first!

0points

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Sleestak 5 months ago

This is a blue topic

1point

Francois 5 months ago

What can I say, I like cheese ... but not that much.

0points

Crazy Meerkat Lady 5 months ago

Cheeses Christ! What next?

0points

Roland 5 months ago

That's absolutely disgusting! We normal people enjoy intimate time with root vegetables or plants, so our rage is justified. Cheese f***rs really need to stop!

0points

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#24

31 Truly Strange And Hilariously Cringe First Messages From The Universe Of Dating Apps I matched with a guy who taught at my old HS. I was in his homeroom class for 1 year, so we didn't really talk much, but he gave me an entire essay confessing his love to me. He told me how he noticed me but never made the move, and was glad I finally reciprocated.

panfriedtomato , Andrea Piacquadio Report

Final score:

23points

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Bec 5 months ago

Yikes!

12points

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#25

31 Truly Strange And Hilariously Cringe First Messages From The Universe Of Dating Apps Whenever a girl starts a conversation too [intimately] or wants [intimate pics] right away, I know it's a scam.

jordan-lakers9394 , Andrea Piacquadio Report

Final score:

20points

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Apatheist Account2 5 months ago

I'm confused - what needed to be replaced with the first "[intimately]"?

13points

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#26

31 Truly Strange And Hilariously Cringe First Messages From The Universe Of Dating Apps I’ve been in a relationship for five years but I was regularly on Tinder before that.

I had my job title and company on my profile, which back then was an administrative/management job for a UK parcel company.

Girl messaged me asking if I could track her parcel for her. I didn’t know if she was joking or not but she just kept asking me weird things about parcels and then blocked me.

Forever wondered what was the point?

Jlaw118 , Artem Podrez Report

Final score:

19points

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Mike m 5 months ago

Track your package is my new phrase for the naughty.

23points

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#27

31 Truly Strange And Hilariously Cringe First Messages From The Universe Of Dating Apps My buddy got a self-esteem slaughterer of a response once.

He asked her about the book series she mentioned in her profile.

She replied, “Too far. Too fat.”

And that was it. Killer.

ThingCalledLight , Pixabay Report

Final score:

19points

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Dread Pirate Roberts 5 months ago

An answer for her: Too rude. Too mean.

10points

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#28

In 2016 I once got “Is your name Harambe? Because I want you to drag me around in public”.

unib**b_official Report

Final score:

15points

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Dread Pirate Roberts 5 months ago

🤦‍♀️ really, bruh?

12points

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#29

31 Truly Strange And Hilariously Cringe First Messages From The Universe Of Dating Apps One guy asked me for a pair of dirty panties.

One offered to make me dinner at his house and gave me the address.

One guy asked me if I would go with him to burning man.

A guy asked me how much I made an hour, because he wouldn’t date anyone who made less than 20 an hour.

Yet another asked me if I knew what BDSM was, and demanded that I be a submissive. (I am no where near submissive, except with one human being.)

I had pretty much given up on online dating for years, now.

Di_Terces , Michael Burrows Report

Final score:

14points

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Dumb teenager 5 months ago

I don't get whats wrong with number 2 and 3, although all I know about burning man is what I learned from 30 seconds of reading wikipedia (kinda sounds similar to the local music festivals)

6points

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#30

31 Truly Strange And Hilariously Cringe First Messages From The Universe Of Dating Apps A woman on her first message, which was literally sent just to moan about how I was "in my 30's and didn't own my house", like I could magically find a solution for that. That was all she messaged for, as far as I can tell.

Didn't even bother to reply and tell her that I was renting because I'd given my house to my ex-wife rather than fight over it.

ledow , todd kent Report

Final score:

14points

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Mike F 5 months ago

News flash: she wanted to be the next ex to take a house from the OP.

17points

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#31

I had on my “about me” that I was an artist. She flew off the handle that I had a regular job as a sign designer. Called me “fake”. How about “responsible”?

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Final score:

13points

Sleestak

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Funhog 5 months ago

Very cool that OP doesn't identify as a job title. Reminds me of an interview with Indigo Girls on a radio station that was taking callers' questions: "At what point do I become a songwriter?" "Do you write songs?" "Yes." "Then you're a songwriter."

7points

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#32

31 Truly Strange And Hilariously Cringe First Messages From The Universe Of Dating Apps A girl matched with me and messaged me that “She’s older than me and men’s egos are very fragile”. No idea how she thought that was gonna go..? She was a year older….

fishsix , Becca Tapert Report

Final score:

12points

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Fat Harry (Oi / You) 5 months ago

My partner is almost 20 years older than me... it works for us, doesn't bother me, and none of our friends think it's weird. We're both over 40, by the way.

14points

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#33

heard one about someone who got asked do you eat p**sy and he responded with no only pork. lol

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Final score:

6points

lex

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Doofnuts 5 months ago

'cept, well yeah, maybe.

1point

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#34

Not me , but on Omegle (an old website were you basically FaceTime strangers) sooooooooo many old men showing their peepee to young girls.

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Final score:

4points

Liz Thomas

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MrsFettesVette 5 months ago

The strangest thing I ever saw on Omegle (or maybe it was Chatroulette) was someone wearing one of those balloon suits, like Missy Elliott in the 90s, you know, Supa Dupa Fly. Head to toe black inflatable puffy suit, even covering his face and eyes. Then proceeded to just have a totally normal conversation with me where I didn't mention what he was wearing (wanted to see if he brought it up first, never did)

7points

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