Grandfather’s old toy. He said just pull the string and it will leave you speechless

Well, there was that one guy who got slapped with "Mr Stinky". All the other serial killers are probably giving him wedgies in Hell.

Roasted!!!

I always wondered where all the Methodists came from

What a crazy coincidence!

And these Christians are the ones that are forcing women against their will to give birth regardless these are the Christian rednecks that ignore children in poverty these are the Christians that don't have to pay property taxes on their churches these are the people that are making our laws and this f****** redneck s******* country

I can't breathe I'm laughing so hard 😂

I love this one

Also shoes and handbags

Guns and homophobic symbols, definitely could be the result of an incestuous relationship.

That went from 0 to 100 real fukin fast

True though 😶

Someone breathing. Strange though I’m home alone

Actually quite easy to catch due to prevalence of anemia.

This one made me giggle :D Whorrible, but funny...

For some reason my urologist has both of his hands on my shoulders when doing the prostate exam

Savage

Can you run DOOM on that?

I laughed a little too hard on this one. Did not see that coming. 🤣

Now that is a truly horrifying prospect.

Only people who've been suicidal might think this is funny. Because sometimes that's all we need. Is to feel. Something other than dread, constant sadness or in many case nothing. Anhedonia sucks.

This is ridiculous, come on USA get this sorted. If ya got crazy people who like going around shooting people, get em to shoot the right people. And yes I know you can't, just wish it could work that way.

So, wait, only one out of every 30 million conjoined twins survive? HOW MANY SETS OF CONJOINED TWINS HAVE BEEN BORN?

Typical Christians stupidity and these Christians are the one that are making our laws these Christians are the one that's forcing their religion down our throat and half this country these people are so god damn f****** stupid

I shouldn't have laughed

Ewww I have a similar story. One time a girl s**t her pants at a party in high school. Her dad came and brought her extra clothes into the bathroom. He came back out with all the shifty clothes in the bag and stood there talking to everyone for like 20 minutes. It smelled terrible and was so odd. All of it. And very gross

It's sad but it really is this easy to prevent school shootings. Society needs to be kinder to one another no matter what.

What is wrong with the kids in his class? The teachers shouldn't let ANYONE sign yearbooks if they are excluding people

wow i need to scare the kids in my school so no one will sign, and then get popular amongst others. Great plan

Our next after school special.

Plot twist: the kid was the class bully and ate the hamster. The older kids later in the evening had an orgy at the lake house and got slaughterd. The girl in the green top died first.

Having worked in education in Europe for decades, I am confident to say, it is not the bullied children nor the bullies nor even something wrong with society that causes school shootings. It is the guns. The amount of times I have been in situations where if a kid had a gun, people would have died are too many to count. But here the kids don't have guns. From the perspective of most people outside of the USA, how can you not solve this?

Can ghosts hold pens?

Do they echolocate?

Sick people

I thought it was only one

Who calls her butt Jesus?

I guess being a chicken is out of the question.

They do like collect weapon as well.

At least they're honest

Where's Ron?

Good thing they don't know geography/jk

I don't blame her. Thin mints are the best

In the distance: banjos.... just like in sweet home alabama

tour around the world! first stop, Hiroshima, Japan

That kind of violence against Karens is unacceptable. May I speak to your manager to complain about your disgusting safety regulations? Karen blood is cold and germy, selling veins as shoe laces is just disgusting. Use tendons or skin, those have better wear and tear.

I love your dad.

Lol I saw this in English class when we were learning about perspective

That's a good stuffing.

Their screen name isn't censored! My fragile eyes!

To be honest, I am not happy with Ariel being black. I know you will all call me a racist now but that's not it. I just want new versions of characters I already know to look as similarly as possible to the old versions. I hated that Daenerys did not have purple eyes. And I HATED it that Darken Rahl had dark hair in the TV series Legend of the Seeker. In the books it is mentioned like a hundred times that he had such beautiful blond hair, and I don't even like blond hair. I don't care that Queen Charlotte is black in Bridgerton, might be different if I had read the books before. And I thought the casting of Prince of Persia was abysmal all around. Don't know who I hated more, Jake Gyllenhaal as a Persian Prince, or Gemma Arterton as an Indian Princess.

Her face totally doesn't regret it...

What is that emoji? A shrimp?