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From wearing a white dress to promising to obey the husband 'till death us do part'—weddings are known to come with a lot of rituals. However, with many of these traditions being age-old, more and more lovebirds choose to skip a few of them when planning their wedding or sometimes even ditch the majority of it altogether.

Some time ago, a Quora user asked people on the platform to open up about the wedding traditions they'd choose to skip when planning their own wedding. "What is one wedding tradition you absolutely wouldn't partake in? Why?" their question reads. With that being said, Bored Panda invites you to read through some of the most interesting answers we managed to find in this viral thread. As always, don't forget to vote for your favorite ones and feel free to share the traditions you'd ditch down in the comment section.

More info: Quora

#1

30 Wedding Traditions People In This Online Group Chose Or Would Choose To Ditch The week I got engaged, I went out and bought a bridal magazine. Read through it. Then wanted to jump out of a window.

The main thrust of the magazine was ‘the perfect wedding.’ And for me to have the perfect wedding, at least according to the magazine, I’d have to buy a load of crap, like unity candles and something having to do with sand, plus I’d have go out and research wedding photographers, hair and make-up people, florists, videographers, bands/DJs, and on and on it went. Or plunk down a bunch of scratch to pay a wedding planner to do it for me.

And then the gown. Ay carumba. I’ve owned cars that cost less than some of the gowns they were touting.

So, after the guy I grew up with, who has a very successful DJ/photography/whatever company, told me he could get a DJ for my wedding ‘starting around $2,500’ I finally said, “Screw that, I am NOT hemorrhaging money for this.” Got a nice gown for $700. Got our rings from Etsy. They’re sterling silver with a 14k yellow gold lining. (Didn’t see the point of the lining, but that’s how they came. ) $400 for the pair. Did the flowers myself, from flowers I bought at Produce Junction and Acme. Total about $50. Did my own hair and makeup.

My sister-in-law offered to do the videography. Another friend offered to snap photos of everything. For the reception, I hired a harpist for about $200. Nobody got to dance, but at least they could hold conversations without screaming to be heard. The reception cost about $1,500. Beautiful wedding cake -about $100. No bouquet toss, no garter.

Over and over through out the years, I’ve been told by the people who attended (we had between 40 and 50 people) that ours was the best wedding they’d ever been to.

Barrie Creedon Wennberg , Joel & Justyna Report

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#2

30 Wedding Traditions People In This Online Group Chose Or Would Choose To Ditch Pigeons are pets. They are not made to live on their own in the world. White pigeons are specially breeded for weddings and released into the wild, where they die. This tradition is animal cruelty.

Christina Rauscher , Wikimedia Commons Report

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Anna Solan
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No, I understand that they are usually homing pigeons, and they return to their coop after the release. It would be ridiculously expensive otherwise to breed and raise "disposable" pigeons for ceremonies.

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#3

30 Wedding Traditions People In This Online Group Chose Or Would Choose To Ditch I find this appalling & disrespectful along with it being more fitting at a child's birthday party than a wedding reception. If after spending thousands of dollars on wedding attire, the wedding itself, and spending hours dressing with care only to have my mate abuse & humiliate me in front of our guests, I wouldn't have married him to begin with. It's more than just cake smeared faces, it's the total disregard of feelings & lack of respect that puts this in the top spot of something I'd never take part in. Ever.

Laurie Parks , Al Abut Report

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Nikki Sevven
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's actually not traditional. The tradition is for the bride and groom to feed one another a bit of cake, not to smash it in one another's faces.

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#4

30 Wedding Traditions People In This Online Group Chose Or Would Choose To Ditch Father Escort. I hate this tradition so much because of its original meaning. It stems from a time when a woman was practically “property” for all her life. The tradition basically means the father gives away his daughter (his “property”) to her husband. It’s just awful, no thanks.

Lea Sing , myllissa Report

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Jessica Nametz
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

One of the best moments of my life was when my father walked me down the aisle... So to each their own, I suppose ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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#5

30 Wedding Traditions People In This Online Group Chose Or Would Choose To Ditch I hate white for two main reasons: First, it looks boring, second, it looks awful on me. Doesn’t suit me at all. Also, most wedding dresses look just like that: a wedding dress. You spend a ridiculously high amount of money for a dress you’re probably only gonna wear once in your life. I’d rather wear something in navy blue or a really dark purple. Looks much more interesting in my opinion, and you can also wear it in the future.

Lea Sing , 99mimimi Report

#6

30 Wedding Traditions People In This Online Group Chose Or Would Choose To Ditch I basically planned my own bridal shower. That’s probably weird to some people, but it just seemed like the easiest thing to do. I just wanted something simple where I could spend the afternoon with some of my closest friends. We went bowling, drove go-karts, went through a laser maze, and checked out the arcade games and virtual reality set-up that the venue had. A few girls came over to hang out afterwards. Affordable and fun for everyone involved.

Jessica Duhon Quinn , georgia Report

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#7

30 Wedding Traditions People In This Online Group Chose Or Would Choose To Ditch Diamond engagement ring… nope. I had a garnet in my first engagement ring and my second one was zirconia that I eventually replaced with a garnet. Diamonds (and tradition) are not my thing.

Victoria Elder , Diamond Expert Report

#8

30 Wedding Traditions People In This Online Group Chose Or Would Choose To Ditch Nah, I won't invite people whom I haven't talked to for months to my wedding. I won't invite all my relatives that I don't really know. I won't invite old friends from school, neighbours, colleagues and so on. A wedding is a very private thing for me. Actually I'd like to invite no one so my husband and I can share this special moment alone.

Christina Rauscher , Lee Haywood Report

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N G
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Can't do that in most places. You need witnesses. It's a legal requirement just about everywhere. I believe (happy to be corrected) even drive-thru Vegas weddings provide a witness as part of the package. There will ALWAYS be at least two other people besides the bride and groom involved. There is no special moment alone.

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#9

30 Wedding Traditions People In This Online Group Chose Or Would Choose To Ditch I will not be given away by my father. I don’t want the officiant asking him who gives me to be married to my hypothetical spouse. This isn’t because I have anything against my father or my relationship with him. I just don’t like the idea that I’m his to give away as he sees fit. I want both of my parents to escort me in as a sign that they, as people who love me and raised me, support me and my marriage. I want my spouse’s parents to do the same.

Cherelle-Renée Childs , InAweofGod'sCreation Report

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#10

30 Wedding Traditions People In This Online Group Chose Or Would Choose To Ditch The garter. I think its tasteless and I wouldn't have been able to have had a toss either with less than 20 people in attendance.

Cole Ferguson , kaboompics Report

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Maximum Ride
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well you could make the garter more interesting by using it to hold a gun or a knife, like in movies. Just need to change the theme of the wedding a bit...

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#11

30 Wedding Traditions People In This Online Group Chose Or Would Choose To Ditch My answer will be short because the one prohibition for my wedding was in the vows. I ensured that the phrase “to love, honor and OBEY” were not uttered. I know me - somewhat of a traditionalist - but only when a role is CHOSEN, not assigned because of gender. I didn’t feel it necessary to promise to do something that I would never do - on principle alone!

Approaching 20 years, my husband sometimes still teases me if we have a disagreement and I’ve dug my feet in on the issue. He’ll say “hey, weren’t you supposed to love, honor and OBEY?! … oh yeah, you did say you wouldn’t “obey,” didn’t you!” (He thinks he’s being funny!)

Shelia Gulledge , Matthew Hurst Report

#12

30 Wedding Traditions People In This Online Group Chose Or Would Choose To Ditch Speaking for Turkish Wedding Traditions:

I actually have many, but I’ll go with the one that really annoys the hell out of me:

The Red Ribbon. Before the bride leaves the parents’ home for the wedding, her close relatives put a red ribbon around her waist in order to symbolise her chastity. Since the bridegroom is the only one who gets to untie that knot, it also shows her promise to him that he will be the first one to gain access to her body.

Thankfully, this is rarely performed by the modern couples today, but I guess it is still a very common practice in rural areas.

Needless to say, I won’t wear a “maidenhood belt” to make myself look like a gift wrapped up in a box ready for my husband to open.

If, by the time of our wedding, both of us are virgins, then WE may BOTH wear purity rings or something similar to show our commitment to each other, but even this completely egalitarian and not misogynistic substitute would make me uncomfortable. Why does a huge number of people involving many strangers need to know about the intimate details of our relationship? It’s NONE of their business.

Its cultural connotations aside, I think a red ribbon looks awful on a white dress. The right wedding dress is the most elegant and classy thing you can possibly wear, I believe. Something so tacky as a red ribbon instantly ruins the elegance of the special dress you’ll get to wear only once. (Generally speaking)

Zeynep Cemre , Marco Verch Report

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Jayne Kyra
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It is disgusting how many people are obsessed with the idea of virginity.

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#13

30 Wedding Traditions People In This Online Group Chose Or Would Choose To Ditch I despise the so-called “tradition” of the groom removing the bride’s garter and tossing it to the groomsmen, with the one who catches it expected to put it on the leg of the mortified woman who caught the bouquet.
Why?

A garter is underwear, and any removal of bridal underwear should definitely take place in private, after the wedding is over.
Given the competitive instincts of some young men, especially when free alcohol is involved, injuries are possible.
Any “tradition” that encourages a man to slide a piece of clothing up a woman’s leg in public — possibly a woman he doesn’t even know — while his friends yell “HIGHER!! HIGHER!!” should be discouraged.
It is not even a tradition, it is an unfortunate fad recently introduced in the mistaken idea that the bouquet-toss needed some masculine equivalent.
Even if it were a tradition, not all traditions are worth preserving. The closest tradition I can think of to this is the old one of displaying the bloody sheets the morning after the wedding night to prove the bride was a virgin — and for some reason that one has died out.

Jennifer Georgia , erge Report

#14

30 Wedding Traditions People In This Online Group Chose Or Would Choose To Ditch Flower Girls. Won’t be there either, again, because of the original meaning behind this tradition. From what I understand, this tradition stands for fertility for the couple, and since I never ever want children, I will definitely ditch this tradition…maybe I am gonna be doing a strict ban on flowers of any kind to reduce my fertility lol.

Lea Sing , Marquette LaForest Report

#15

This tradition actually involves family and friends showering the couple with disgusting things (usually wet things) and then tying bride to a tree. This is meant to show that the bride and groom are ready for anything.

I think I might stick to killing the ender dragon and the wither at the same time in Minecraft to show I’m up to anything.

Kyle Dring Report

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Xylle Flora
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd rather kill ten withers while fighting the ender dragon with mining fatigue than have that happen to me lol

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#16

30 Wedding Traditions People In This Online Group Chose Or Would Choose To Ditch I like hanging out with my buddies but I don’t drink, I don’t like strippers, and I certainly don’t think of marriage as a trap or an end to my freedom.

I get that bachelor parties aren’t specifically tied to all that stuff, I can just go out to dinner with like six of my really close friends but I wouldn’t do that because I’m getting married, I’d do that because they’re my friends. Also the best thing to do the night before a big event that starts at like noon is probably, I would imagine, not going out and staying up super late with guys who are talking like you’re marching towards death row.

Charles Johnson , Youperspective Report

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McPanda
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Bachelor parties can still be an awesome tradition that don't involve that at all. We played basketball, board games, video games, and rented bouncy houses for my buddy. Three-day sleepover like we were in middle school again, and it was awesome

sylvantic
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

you had me at bouncy house. i love those. my throat always hurts after, but it's worth it.

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denzoren
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think bachelor parties get a bad name from Hollywood. For all my friends we just all stayed together for the weekend, played games, watched movies, some drinking and just all round having fun with the boys. Lol

Bama Belle
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My only problem with conventional bachelor/bachelorette parties is strippers. (And having it the night before the wedding, which is insane.) My sister attended a bachelorette party at the maid of honor's home. There were two male strippers. Both the bride and bridesmaid (married) took a stripper to a bedroom and locked the door.

Annemarie Mattheyse
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband and his best friend sat on the porch and drank whisky and smoked cigars and talked the night before the wedding. That's it. I was so thankful he wasn't dragged out to a strip club or anything like that!

GirlFriday
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My brother went on a camping and hunting weekend with his brothers and friends. They drank a few beers, fished, and tried to hunt. Mostly they stayed in the cabin and ate junk food and played video games.

Maggie Dinzler Shaw
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My son had his close friends and family on a riverboat and they all played cards and gambled with fake money. Lots of food and fun. (and costumes)

CincyReds
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I just don't get why bachelor parties and barcherlette parties have turned into this huge thing! Like going to vegas, or any trip! Just more money, I jsut went out with my girlfriends, and my husband had his dudes over at our house that we just bought... just something simple to s[end time with the people that are closest to you.

deathrose
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband drank with his dad and brother at home and played Cards Against Humanity.

Craig Reynolds
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My friends were actually pissed when I refused to have a bachelor party! Apparently, as I was told, it's not about me! It's about them having an excuse to party and do stupid sh*t. It didn't happen and they got over it.

C.S. E.
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My all time favorite rendition of a bachelor party is in Parks & Rec 'Two Parties.' The bachelor(s) party looked like so much fun! Also, I loved Andy's wrap up during the credits.

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#17

30 Wedding Traditions People In This Online Group Chose Or Would Choose To Ditch Bridesmaids and Best Man. Not necessary either. Never understood this tradition to be honest.

Lea Sing , Tommy Huynh Report

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N G
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As long as you have someone else present to act as a witness - we had a best man and a man of honour who had to sign the register as our witnesses - just made it easier to have them already standing at the front.

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#18

30 Wedding Traditions People In This Online Group Chose Or Would Choose To Ditch As far as the wedding day, we didn’t participate in the dollar dance, although we considered it. I’m pretty introverted myself and can’t dance as is, so we elected not to. We also chose not to smash cake in each other’s faces…to each their own, but to us just seemed like more of a mess than it was worth.

Jessica Duhon Quinn , Antonio Delgado Report

#19

30 Wedding Traditions People In This Online Group Chose Or Would Choose To Ditch It’s traditional for all of the guests to stand when the bride came out. I personally have never liked that. I decided to have my officiant tell everyone to remain seated when I came out before the processional began. Some of the people at the rehearsal the night before thought I was completely insane (some to the point of being combative). They were adamant that I couldn’t go against that tradition and people were going to get confused and stand anyway. I’m a pretty laid back person, so my response was, “Well, then they stand.” Whatever. It’s not going to ruin my day! In the end, no one stood. Everyone remained seated. And my photographer got a great picture of my dad and I coming down the aisle!

Kelly Bailey , Patina Report

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Anna Solan
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Especially when there are some elderly guests who can't stand, then they don't get to see anything either.

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#20

30 Wedding Traditions People In This Online Group Chose Or Would Choose To Ditch Cutting the cake. I would rather put multiple cakes on a huge buffet and people can just take some as they like.

Lea Sing , Nicole Sánchez Report

#21

30 Wedding Traditions People In This Online Group Chose Or Would Choose To Ditch I love to dance and I have always enjoyed weddings that have dancing, but I also have been to weddings where there was a small group of people dancing while the rest of the guests sit at their tables waiting for the appropriate amount of time to stay until they can go home. Those guests can’t talk to each other over the loud DJ, so if they’re not in the mood for dancing, then they just sit there [...] We had a lowcountry boil and the majority of tables were standing oyster tables (with a few tables for people that may have wanted to sit down). People were able to move around and talk and play lawn games instead of hitting the dance floor. It was so fun! We did have our guitarist sing and play in the background, though.

Kelly Bailey , Jon Fravel Report

#22

30 Wedding Traditions People In This Online Group Chose Or Would Choose To Ditch One pre-wedding tradition I selected not to take part in was having a bridal shower. Prior to my wedding, I had been invited to a couple of bridal showers. They were well-meaning, but they were also just downright awkward.

So many people didn’t know each other, and of course the ages ranged from young adults, to middle-aged women, and the elderly. It also felt weird playing some of the bridal shower games with such a…diverse group.

When two of my bridesmaids brought up the subject to me, they offered to host the bridal shower and even had a theme picked out. Don’t get me wrong— I appreciated the thought, but it just wasn’t for me, and I knew it would only be added stress and anxiety that I already felt just preparing for the wedding itself.

For some of the same reasons, mentioned above, I just felt like it would be more of an uncomfortable event versus the fun event it was supposed to be. Too many people not knowing each other, and a wide variety of ages, stacked upon the fact that I knew some people on my side were very introverted and probably wouldn’t enjoy it themselves.

Jessica Duhon Quinn , C x 2 Report

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Easily Excitable Panda
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've been to one bridal shower, never going to another. It was awful. I was a friend of the bride's, but neither her sister nor mother (the ones who threw the party) knew who I was, and treated me like dirt. I got out of there as quickly as possible, and I'm pretty sure they sighed in relief when I was gone.

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#23

Some cultures kidnap the bride either just before the dancing or cutting the cake. This is an awful tradition because the people who do the kidnapping usually just go sit in a bar and drink with her. It’s very disrespectful to everyone. Plus, I once heard a story about a kidnapped bride and a tragic car accident. The bride was killed on her wedding day early in the reception. What selfish people. It isn’t even a clever prank. So if I ever saw someone trying to concoct this, I would blow the whistle and do everything I could to stop it.

Amy Rubins Report

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Bettie-Jean Neal
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I got kidnapped and we just sat in the limo and drank. It was fun. Didn't have to go anywhere.

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#24

30 Wedding Traditions People In This Online Group Chose Or Would Choose To Ditch Jeez…Who thought drunk men attaching money with sharp, pointed objects to a costly, delicate dress was a good idea? And that's the good part. I first heard of this & saw it in 1991. I couldn't even comprehend the explanation I was given, and then I saw it. Truly, it's one of the tackiest things I've ever seen. The bride covered in paper money while male relatives cajole & ridicule guests into pinning larger bills to the bride's dress. If guests want to give money as a wedding gift they will. They don't need to be coerced into buying time with the bride. Well, maybe some brides, but I mean really…what's next? $100 bills in the bride’s garter? I just…can't.

Laurie Parks , Wikimedia Commons Report

#25

30 Wedding Traditions People In This Online Group Chose Or Would Choose To Ditch Neither my husband nor I are fans of the tradition of pounding on the tables or glassware for the bride and groom to kiss during dinner. We were both hungry, wanted to enjoy our dinner, were grossed out at the thought of kissing someone with a mouth full of food, and also are not big into public displays of affection. After the prayer and toasts at the reception before dinner, we announced that we would kiss once (and we did) and then asked our guests to refrain from doing this. A few non-compliant individuals still tried it, but we basically ignored them and they got the message that we truly weren’t going to do it.

Teri Barrons , Kayla Sawyer Report

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Sara Diogo
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even as a guest I hate that tradition. This is the XXI century, hasn't everybody seen the couple kiss before?

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#26

30 Wedding Traditions People In This Online Group Chose Or Would Choose To Ditch I refused to wear white. Not because I wasn’t a virgin, though that was certainly true… but really, not everyone looks good in white and I’ve seen way more white wedding gowns that looked like cheap dress-up clothes I would buy for my daughter when she was a toddler than ones that looked luxurious and beautiful. I also refused to buy something I would only wear once that cost more than I spent for the rest of the wedding and reception combined. I wore a red dress to the first one and a red skirt with a black, white, and red sweater to the second.

Victoria Elder , Wikimedia Commons Report

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Nikki Sevven
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Honestly, I think that an off-white gown looks much more luxurious and beautiful than a stark white one. But I also love that modern brides are going with gorgeous, saturated colors and unique designs.

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#27

30 Wedding Traditions People In This Online Group Chose Or Would Choose To Ditch Bouquet toss, the bouquet was dried flowers, fragile and handmade from etsy. I also believe that I paid $155 for it.

Cole Ferguson , hippo px Report

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Aunt Messy
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mine was freesias and orchids, and I was NOT just going to toss that. I gave it to my godmother, where it lasted about ten days as a centerpiece on her dining room table.

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#28

30 Wedding Traditions People In This Online Group Chose Or Would Choose To Ditch To be honest, I couldn’t care less about it. For my wedding, people can come as they like, as long as they’re wearing something, it is fine with me.

Lea Sing , sylvar Report

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Sarah Grape
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm so close to having water guns/silly string/ doge ball at my reception so no one dresses up. because then I don't have to wear a dress while partaking in these activities

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#29

30 Wedding Traditions People In This Online Group Chose Or Would Choose To Ditch I don’t want to wear a white dress. While, as stated in a previous answer, it didn’t originate as a symbol of purity, it has long been associated with that, and I find the focus on a woman’s so-called purity to be weird and disturbing. Wearing a dress in a different color is a way of saying that my sexual history is nobody’s business but my own and the point is that I’m making a life commitment to someone I love, not whether or not I had sex with anyone else before.

Cherelle-Renée Childs , Wikimedia Commons Report

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Arctic Fox Lover
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She must really, really hate white dresses--so far, the white dress thing was mentioned 3 times.

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#30

30 Wedding Traditions People In This Online Group Chose Or Would Choose To Ditch You know these typical wedding cakes. When looking at the photo above, the only thing that goes through my mind is B O R I N G. Also, it looks so…creamy? I feel like I am gonna vomit just by looking at it.

I’d rather do something special and unusual.

Lea Sing , jeremywongweddings Report

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#31

30 Wedding Traditions People In This Online Group Chose Or Would Choose To Ditch There was no saving of the wedding cake in the freezer for a year. At my first wedding, our cakes got demolished by accident (oooo, an omen!). At my second, we actually forgot to cut the cake after the civil service held in our living room with our three closest friends there to witness it. I don’t remember what happened to the cake later, I’m sure we just ate it.

Victoria Elder , Austin White Report

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Aliquid A
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For a year? I still have a piece of wedding cake in the freezer 15 years after the wedding.

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#32

30 Wedding Traditions People In This Online Group Chose Or Would Choose To Ditch Polterabend is a German wedding custom in which, on the night before the wedding, the guests break porcelain to bring luck to the couple's marriage. (From Wikipedia) Sorry, but I don't have any reason to smash porcelain. Plus, traditionally on Polterabend the groom celebrates the last night in which he is “free” and unmarried. That's just old sexist thinking.

Christina Rauscher , Wikimedia Commons Report

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Russell Ellwardt
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wrong. The traditional German Polterabend is NOT meant to be a bachelor party for the groom. It is a party with both bride and groom present, usually the atmosphere is pretty laid back. Polterabend means open house so all their friends and mates are welcome, also those who are not invited to the actual wedding.

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#33

30 Wedding Traditions People In This Online Group Chose Or Would Choose To Ditch Well, I have been in charge of the stag, being his best man and the the other members of the group being a little wlld, it was my job to keep him safe.

I have dragged up and gone on a Hen night, as we were close friends and she wanted me there, so I made it an event.

I have been in charge of the music on the wedding reception night, in my role as DJ. I have made the wedding cake and catered the wedding breakfast, in my role as a chef.

But the one thing I will not partake in is the obligatory photos.

Paul Lucy Savage , Elliot Harmon Report

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N G
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a guest/part of the wedding party, or as a main participant? I won't say my experience was universal, but a lot of the photos we had taken allowed me to have memories of a very busy day and help cement little moments that would otherwise have been forgotten. They also contain the last images of my nan before she died - that is priceless.

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#34

30 Wedding Traditions People In This Online Group Chose Or Would Choose To Ditch I won't solicit or take wedding gifts. There's no point in people giving me money for getting married. I believe that anyone daring to get married should bear full responsibility for it. I know this sounds controversial but that's how I see it. If one can't cover wedding expenses, how will they cover the costs of sustaining a family (which are much more expensive)? I don't want to bother others with my choices. I'd rather be given money when I get sick (which isn't a choice).

Walt Moyo , Scorpions and Centaurs Report

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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I sort of understand the sentiment - particularly in light of all these Bridezilla posts demanding $$$ in the thousands, but at the same time you have the option to ask for e.g. donations to your favourite charity. People WANT to gift things in celebration - do you also reject birthday presents on the basis of your accidental appearance in the world? You shouldn't solicit gifts, but allow people the option for generosity.

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#35

30 Wedding Traditions People In This Online Group Chose Or Would Choose To Ditch While my father did walk me down the aisle at my first wedding, there was no giving me away. My father didn’t own me and didn’t make decisions about who got to marry me. My parents weren’t invited to my second wedding, something my mom was salty about for a while. But hey, I love my daughter more than I love her and my daughter went to school that day. It was a very simple civil service and the only reason there were any other people there was because we needed witnesses.

Victoria Elder , Chris Bartow Report

#36

30 Wedding Traditions People In This Online Group Chose Or Would Choose To Ditch Veil. Just…why? It looks awful and hides the bride’s hair.

Lea Sing , Milivojevic Report

#37

30 Wedding Traditions People In This Online Group Chose Or Would Choose To Ditch Truthfully, at this point in my life, I would not participate in most of them. Many seem quite silly. But two that stand out in my mind are: I would not have anyone walk me down the aisle. I am a middle-aged woman and the idea of someone else giving me to someone seems ridiculous.

Deanna Boskovich , Blake Johnson Report

#38

30 Wedding Traditions People In This Online Group Chose Or Would Choose To Ditch I’m definitely not opposed to MARRIAGE. Of course I wouldn’t have a child with someone I wasn’t married to.

But the idea of spending that much money, time, and energy planning a party doesn’t really appeal to me — especially since I know I probably wouldn’t get to talk to the guests for more than a few minutes each.

I also don’t like being the center of attention, and think I would find spending a whole day having everyone ooh and aah over me to be exhausting. Like, if I’m crushing it at a basketball game, I don’t mind people cheering for me and chanting at me for that hour. If I’m doing a live show, I don’t mind being in front of the audience… But in those cases, I’m the center of attention because I’m doing something I love, not because I’ve found someone to love…

Eva Glasrud , Hades Bane Report

#39

30 Wedding Traditions People In This Online Group Chose Or Would Choose To Ditch Well that would have to be the wedding ceremony itself. My parents raised me to believe that a simple, commonlaw marriage was good enough. By which I mean my mom just moved in with my dad and started using his last name and they addressed one another with spouse titles like husband and wife when asked. But they had no marriage license, no paperwork, no certificates, there was no ceremony. My parents were fine with this for years and I grew up disliking the idea of a ceremony and certificates and stuff. I'm also an introvert so I can't imagine how embarrassing it would be to have all the people i love watching me in a big wedding dress saying vows. Plus I'm not a christian, not really anything, my beliefs are my own pieced together from my experience with various faiths around the world.

Glenn Griffon , Picryl Report

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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

YMMV, but in some countries there are financial safety nets to that bit of paper.

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#40

30 Wedding Traditions People In This Online Group Chose Or Would Choose To Ditch Not really necessary, is it? I mean…it’s our wedding, of course we’re gonna be married, right?

Lea Sing , Hong Chang Bum Report

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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm not 100% sure, but I believe in certain cultures/jurisdictions, that bit forms part of the legalities of the ceremony. As in, no, you're not married if the officiant doesn't say that bit.

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