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30 “They’re Not Gonna Last Long” Wedding Moments Shared In This Online Thread
Though many of us might wish it, unfortunately, life isn’t quite like what we see in romantic movies. That happily ever after? It doesn’t come easily. And it’s not a given. A truly healthy and happy marriage requires lots of consistent effort and a willingness to work through any problems that life throws your way.
Alas, not all happy couples make it. Nearly half of all marriages in the United States end in divorce. Recently, some wedding guests opened up in a viral r/AskReddit thread about the moments when they realized the marrying couple probably would end up getting divorced in the near future. Sometimes, the signs are blatantly obvious. Scroll down for their stories. Oh, and mind your head—watch out for all the relationship red flags.
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#1
When the groom shoved wedding cake into his new bride's mouth so hard that it chipped a tooth, bloodied her lip and blood staining her wedding gown. He kept pushing until she tripped over a tree root and fell backwards breaking her wrist. The groom's own father then began to beat the hell out of him.
Good times.
#2
At the rehearsal, the groom's stepmother told the bride-to-be that he was a loser who would never amount to anything, then gave the best man—the groom's older brother—money to buy the groom a lap dance and hooker, but the best man/brother went to the bride's hotel room that night and tried to make out with her.
I really didn't think it would last at that point, but we've been married 23 years now, so it turned out okay.
#3
My husbands side of the family is a goldmine for wedding drama.
One guy married at super young, basically because he got his girlfriend pregnant and it was very obvious that his inlaws were forcing the marriage.
One guy married a foreign girl he met at a study abroad program in Russia at the courthouse, no fancy dinner no nothing to celebrate, and had no idea how she could be so heartless to divorce him after she got citizenship.
One guy made out with another woman on the dancefloor during the later part of the reception.
The only wedding I've been to that had to be stopped mid service by the "speak now or forever hold your peace" clause was when the brides estranged father stood up, who had not walked her down the aisle because he was not much a part of her life, and stated " Father "pastor" I'm real sorry about doing this now but I just recognized where I think I've seen "grooms" mama before...and I'm real sorry "father of the groom" cause it seems ya didn't know, but I think you might be my son, so if I were you I'd get some bloodwork before going on with this here marriage."
Turns out the man was right, they were half siblings and didn't know it. Called the wedding off, stopped the romantic relationship and are now happily married to other people but still hang out and invite each others families to family get togethers.
According to Forbes, 43% of marriages in the United States end in divorce. Second marriages fail 60% of the time. And 73% of third marriages get dissolved. The average length of a first marriage before divorce might not quite be “till death do us part”, but it’s still fairly long—eight years. On average, it costs around $7,000 to dissolve a union in the US. Simple divorces can be processed within three months. However, contested divorces take much longer and take over a year to finalize.
Not to sound too harsh, but not all relationships are meant to be. ‘Perfect’ relationships are impossible, as are ‘perfect’ partners. You will always have to look for compromises on some issues and consistently work to make the relationship stronger. However, you should not have to compromise or tolerate truly toxic traits.
#4
When the groom pulled out his phone and started watching UFC at the reception instead of dancing with his wife.
Spoiler: I was the wife. We didn’t last lol.
#5
Arrived at the venue to see a sign announcing "Welcome to [Bride]'s Wedding" and in smaller text underneath "featuring [groom]" they did a ring warming thing where the rings were passed around before the ceremony for everyone to make a silent wish/intention for the couple - I closed my eyes and thought "May your divorce be relatively painless.".
#6
She was clearly in love with him.
He was very clearly gay.
Neither seemed to want to recognize it but EVERYONE ELSE WAS SURE OF IT.
A few years later? Turns out he’s gay and wants a divorce.
Unless you’re getting married after a few weeks of getting to know each other, you’re probably aware of any red flags your partner has. Accepting that certain behavior is very unhealthy, bodes nothing well, and that you won’t change your spouse-to-be is another question entirely. It’s hard to break up with someone you think is right for you, but sometimes, it’s the best thing for everyone.
How healthy a marriage will be will depend a lot on how the spouses interact with each other, how they (don’t) communicate, whether their values align, how empathetic they are, and how willing they are to work as a team to tackle challenges. Of course, it also matters if the couple is on the same page regarding some of the bigger questions like raising kids, work, finances and savings, where they should live, divvying up the chores, etc.
#7
When the bride specifically said she did not want to feed each other cake and he aggressively came at her with cake and shoved it in her face hard enough that it was in her hair and ruined her makeup while laughing about it. It also came out later that his groomsmen ate her special gluten-free lunch while setting up for the ceremony and he didn't say anything about it.
It was less than a year.
#8
Bride and groom had been together for years and she was hopelessly in love with him and he treated her like dirt. This went on for years with her begging him to get married. Finally, one day, he proposed. I think he said something romantic like "If it'll shut you up, let's get married."
I was friends with a girl who was friends with the bride and went as her plus one to the wedding, which was held on Superbowl Sunday. Early into the reception, the groom and his groomsmen left the party to go to a bar to watch the game. His parting words to the bride were "You know I love you, baby, but I've got 10 bucks on the game."
They lasted nearly a year before she got tired of him cheating on her and she finally left him.
#9
I knew a wedding photographer. His litmus test for whether the marriage would work or not was how the couple handled feeding cake to each other during the reception. With something like an 80% accuracy, if they both shoved cake in each other’s faces and got mad they didn’t last long. If they both shoved cake in each other’s faces and laughed about it they were typically okay. If they both respectfully fed each other the cake they were usually good for a long time.
The reason for one couple’s divorce is probably going to be different than another’s. There are also usually many complex and unique factors that when taken together spell doom for the marriage. That being said, there are still some broad tendencies. Forbes report that 75% of people reported a lack of commitment as the reason for their divorce. This is the most common reason for marriages falling apart.
The second most common reason why marriages end in divorce is infidelity. 60% of divorced couples opened up that it was their partner being unfaithful to them that broke the trust in the relationship and tore them asunder.
#10
The groom immediately downed a full GLASS of vodka as soon as they did the entrance. He was staggering, stumbling, weeping the whole time, and she basically had her reception alone. This was September. By Halloween he was gone living in another state with a woman he met 2 WEEKS before the wedding. They had been together for 7 years. This week would have been their 27th wedding anniversary. He did come back for his belongings a few months later and told her he got so drunk out of guilt and he was too scared to call the wedding (that she paid for) off. I remember it so well because it was the first wedding I ever attended and the ceremony was just beautiful and we (her coworkers) were all in tears about how we all wanted this for ourselves. Then the reception happened and we were all like um no thanks. She was never the same after that.
#11
I was a plus 1 at a wedding last year. By the evening bride was soooo drunk and she asked me to help her pee in her dress. I didn’t know her but being a gals gal I assisted. I made small talk whilst she peed and asked if she was having fun etc.
She went into a weird trance and said: When I walked down the aisle, I was really disappointed that the groomsman I shagged a month ago didn’t turned up.
I don’t think she realised she said it out loud. Anyway…the marriage lasted 9 months.
#12
The groom and his groomsmen did a coordinated "time warp" dance from Rocky Horror Picture Show in the middle of the wedding, and the bride sat there stonefaced the entire time, obviously unamused.
Ultimately they were just two very different people. Marriage lasted about a year.
Other top reasons for divorce include constant arguing (58% of couples noted this was a major factor), marrying too young (45%), and financial problems (38%).
Even when there are many different issues at work, 69% of people admitted that there was a tipping point that finally made them decide they wanted a divorce.
Usually, this ‘final straw’ moment was related to infidelity, violence, and substance abuse. However, partners overwhelmingly disagree about what this tipping point that ended their marriage was. They see their relationships very differently.
#13
When he was being very serious with his vows and she wouldn't stop laughing. There were a lot of red flags in that relationship.
Oh, the he was me.
#14
When they announced they were engaged yet had active restraining orders against each other.
#15
When the bride’s ’work friend’ was having a slow dance with her at the reception and feeling her a**e up in front of the groom, family and friends.
She left the groom the day they got back from their honeymoon. And she kept all the presents!
Have you ever been to a wedding where you genuinely thought that the ‘happy’ couple would get divorced very quickly, Pandas? What were the red flags that you witnessed?
What was the shortest marriage that you know of in your social circle? On the flip side, what’s the healthiest and happiest married couple you personally know?
#16
When my ex best friend was bragging while we were getting ready for the ceremony about sleeping with other men. She said they had an “understanding” when I asked if he specifically knew about it. She said “he doesn’t need to know”
I’m all for people having whatever type of relationship they want. But dont make me complicit in your cheating.
#17
When the groom was passionately slow dancing with the best man. The bride was crying, by herself, with no-one comforting her, sitting on a folding chair.
That seemed less than a match made in heaven.
#18
Had a neighbor who got arrested teh night before his wedding in a bar fight. Then, the night of the wedding, walking back to the hotel with his new wife, decided he really needed pizza, so he tried to walk into a local pizza place. It was closed, so he kicked in the door and kept walking. Got arrested 2 blocks down the street. So she spent the night before, and the night of her wedding alone and crying. When they told me this story they were in the process of trying to get pregnant and have since had a kid. They got divorced very recently to absolutely NO ONES surprise.
#19
When his dad was taking bets on how long the marriage would last with us (the groomsmen). He won the bet at 9-12 months….
She was bipolar and decided to stop taking her meds without telling anyone. She attached him in his sleep with a baseball bat because he was congested and snoring. She thought he was a monster. She broke his arm and 4 of his ribs.
Two weeks after this incident she smacked his hand with a meat hammer while they were making dinner to “what would happen.”
She refused to take her meds and he left.
She now has 7 children with 4 different guys. She is ridiculously hot still to this day so guys fall for her c**p and then bail when they find out how f*****g crazy she is.
#20
I was at the wedding of a couple who I worked with at a restaurant years prior. At one point during the reception, I’m doing shots with the bride and I tell her how much fun I’m having and that she looks beautiful in her dress. She then whispers in my ear to meet her in the bridal suite in fifteen minutes. They didn’t last longer than a year.
#21
True story: I am the sister of the bride that day. My sister and groom ( her ex husband ), were in the venue after the church ceremony and at some point I noticed that he is not there. I saw my sister looking for him and asked me to look with her. We checked everywhere and I remembered that we didnt check the parking. I was thinking that maybe he is in the car looking for something. SURPRISE, surprise, he was f*****g our cousin in the car. Car was literally shaking and we knocked on the car window and my sister screamed, threw the ring at him and slapped our cousin in the face and ran away. From that day which was 2 years ago, she still didint come to visit me or our family, and also our cousin went to live abroad with my sisters ex husband. So yeah, I would say if you are getting married and notice that the bride or groom are nowhere to be found, they are probably doing something wrong and save your life from misery and go take a look.
#22
Was recently out in Vegas and the wife comes back from the bathroom having overheard the following conversation:
Woman 1: "Tomorrow when they say if anyone has any objections you have to stand up and say yes."
Woman 2: " why dont you just call it off"
Woman 1: "Because everyone is here and I dont want them to blame me"
I'm sure everything's fine....
#23
I knew it wouldn't work out when the bride made out with my husband on her wedding day in retaliation because I was unable to help with her wedding dress while I was cooking for her wedding reception. She had her mom and aunt with her to help her. She and my brother broke up a few months later and I also don't have that husband anymore.
#24
At the wedding, everyone, even the parents, bet how long the married life will be. The marriage was only 24 hours long! Everyone argued about it and no one won.
#25
When the groom, and father of the bride got into a fist fight at the rehearsal dinner. Groom drops the father with a clean right hand. Brother of the bride steps in to defend dad. Him and the groom go at for 2-3 minutes. Grooms father gets involved. Half the wedding party had black eyes and fat lips for the ceremony.
The couple was divorced less then 6 months later.
#26
When I walked into the cocktail hour reception, said hello to an old friend from college, and he said “So I was thinking about writing out the check I brought as a gift right to their divorce attorney” and I laughed and said “I asked my wife if we really had to bring a gift because we both know this marriage won’t last”. Still trying to figure out how everyone except the bride and groom knew their marriage was a bad idea.
#27
When I saw the bride walking down the aisle with perfect makeup, a huge bouquet, elegant hair, an elaborate white ballgown, and the fakest smile I'd ever seen in my life plastered across her face. Smiles don't lie. Marriage lasted under 2 years.
#28
After the wedding her mom got them a room at the local motel for their honeymoon, but they came home because they got bored.
#29
It was actually before they married, when they explained that they were getting married, "To get the first one over."
Yeah. It didn't last.
#30
Does the reception count?
The girl has dated my brother on and off for years. She cheated on him with a lot of guys including the guy she was marrying who broke into their place and smashed a bunch of his stuff once.
At the reception he hit the booze hard. We all did. She came over and I said I always thought she was going to be my sister in law. She said she thought so too, but no one stopped the wedding. Then my friend Philip who was s**t faced accidentally bumped into a child and the dad punched him. He confusingly got into his jeep and drove off. The bride, who had a fling with him once started crying her head off. That's when her new mother in law came over and said that her new husband was vomiting in the bathroom and that she needed to take care of it because that's her job now.
The cake was good.
I met her outside of a Walmart a few years later and she was pregnant. I asked her about the guy and she said she had gotten divorced and remarried and was thinking about getting divorced again.
What do you think ?
General Anaesthesia 2 months ago
I was told that the biggest smiles you see on wedding photo's belong to divorce lawyers.
General Anaesthesia 2 months ago
I was told that the biggest smiles you see on wedding photo's belong to divorce lawyers.
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