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Humans have already attached a lot of “baggage” to weddings, from the understandable emotional heft, to all kinds of somewhat strange superstitions. But in the 21st century, there are a whole host of other things that might be foreshadowing of something being clearly off.
Someone asked “What are some red flags at a wedding?” and netizens shared their best (and worst) stories. So get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote your favorites and be sure to add your own thoughts and experiences to the discussion in the comments section below.
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#1
My grandfather (he had 15 kids) used to tell the young people getting married this advise:
He would look at the guy and tell him, "You need to do everything you can to make her the happiest woman on earth, and she, in turn will make you the happiest man."
He said he could tell the ones that wouldn't last because they would interrupt him after the first part.
It's noteworthy to say that my grandfather love my grandmother very much.
RELATED:
#2
The bride is losing her s**t over every little thing that isn't exactly as she wanted it. Some people are more concerned with the idea of being married than they are about who they're marrying. These are the people that have a "dream wedding" in mind.
#3
Small fish in inadequate glass containers as center pieces. We all walk into the hall and find our tables, each with a belly up, totally dead, bloated guppy floating in its little glass coffin. Lots of people lost their appetites. Marriage didn't last a year.
Jaya 1 day ago (edited)
I know this post isn't about goldfish, but while we're talking about keeping fish in too small containers: Goldfish should never be kept in fishbowls, it's basically animal törture. They can live for decades, the reason all our goldfish died within years, months or weeks when we were kids, is because of completely inadequate ways of keeping them. We may not have known any better back then, but in this age of internet access we really don't have an excuse anymore.
#5
The bride and groom asked for cash only on the invitations, and then COUNTED the money given to them at breakfast the next morning in front of everyone.
#7
I’ve been to a lot of wedding, two of which I vividly recall the groom spending 98 percent of the reception and dance with his friends rather the bride, both ended in quick divorce.
#8
The bride and groom expect people to pay to attend.
#9
The speeches all end up being about times they were very drunk, including how drunk they were when they met.
#10
The mother of the bride/groom trying to control *anything* as if it’s her day.. not a good sign at all.
Alison Hobbs 18 hours ago
I disagreed with something my mother wanted for my wedding and was told in no uncertain terms (by my cousin's wife) that I needed to remember that it was my mother's day, not mine! Oof!
#11
Crying..
I was at a wedding once where the bride and groom were weeping, the priest and altar servers were sobbing, the whole congregation was blubbering. Even later on at the reception, the cake was in tiers..
#12
I went to a wedding where the bride gave a heartfelt sincere speech about how the groom is "like a loyal dog": always listens, is always around, does what she asks, etc etc
She meant it to be cute or something. I found it kinda f****d up and demeaning lmao. Yes she did literally say "like a good loyal dog" im not interpreting that.
#13
Went to a wedding where the groom talked about how much he loved the bride and the bride ALSO talked about how much the groom loved her.
A year in and she cheated, they're divorcing.
#14
I went to a wedding where the bride was happy, glowing, flitting around the room talking to everyone excitedly. The groom was staring off into space almost catatonic.. Two days later he left to go to the store and didn't come back, they got the marriage annulled and never spoke to each other again. And didn't return the presents.
#15
I went to a wedding that had a buffet and they ran out of food when there were still about 50 people left to eat. And they weren’t at all concerned about feeding the rest of their guests. Not feeding your guests properly is a total red flag.
#16
The groom with a cocktail waitress on his lap.
#17
They're still together so I guess it wasn't a red flag for their *marriage* but I attended a wedding where *all* of the speeches were about how great and funny and smart and creative and nice and sweet the bride was... and the groom got "good job finding such a catch!" as his highest compliment. on *his* wedding day. just seemed off to me.
#18
As a supposed supporter of the couple: none of the speeches mention them as a couple. Friends take more of a "if you're happy, then I'm happy!" kind of tone. The couple isn't aligned on their wedding details and/or looks peeved the whole day
As a guest: where the cost of hosting is passed onto the guests. Or there is no lodging nearby so guests can't imbibe and the hosts are annoyed that no one danced or stayed late. Outdoors with very few accomodations or enough meals. Yes, I get that it's "your day," but hosting an event should account for guests' experiences, imo.
#19
Family members trying to make the day about anyone else but the wife. My friends wife is a twin. And at the wedding the Grandma dida speech about "the two sisters that shared a womb" all of the people at the fruends table were looking at each other cringing hard.
Lyoness 23 hours ago
Uh huh. My father's speech started with how if I wanted someone from a particular country (my partner was born outside Canada) we had that ethnic group in our family already, so I didn't actually need to get married. Haha. He spent the next 10 minutes going on about how, even though I was getting married, my relationship with him would never change. You know, because a daughter's relationship with her daddy (yes, he said daddy) is more important, he'd been there for me longer, it just went on and on. Emotional incest at its best. I was mortified, and to this day he wonders why I'm LC.
#20
When the bride and her friends and family are at the opposite side of the building from the groom and his friends and family. The couple were barely together and it felt like two different events. They lasted a year.
#21
Hours long ceremony following a reception with no food.
Apatheist Account2 13 hours ago
Ceremony following the reception? Perhaps they divorced before they married.
#22
My x husband hit me so hard with the cake smash my head bent backwards and he laughed.
It absolutely was personal
Second my friend's mom's wedding she did everything for it every single detail bro was retired. She wrote the most incredible vows.
He stood up there sheepishly embarrassed and said uh I didn't have time...ditto I guess.
#23
Typically if it feels more of a birthday party for one of the couple than a wedding. I went to a wedding once where it just felt like a belated brides 21st. Everything was about her. She spoke nothing about her new husband and spent most of the night getting drunk with her bridesmaids. Even the bridesmaids speech’s were all about her, again very rarely mentioning the groom. She even made sure his parents were sat at the back of the venue and her parents front and centre was very bizarre. They divorced a few months later.
#24
My husband refused to show up for our pre-wedding shoot because his family wanted to have a family lunch with him. My siblings and I were rightfully upset because my dad paid 20k for photos and 200k for wedding alone. Husband was insulted and refused to leave bridal suite for entry. He then reprimanded me during the entire wedding about my siblings disrespecting him. He wouldn’t let me take photos alone with my friends “because we are married now”.
Fast forward one year exactly, right now, he wants me to cut off my family completely or we can’t be together. We just separated this week and will be filing for divorce. I never imagined I’d be divorced at 27, still processing but he is a garbage narcissistic human :(.
#25
When the groom is sickly pale, sweating bullets, and looking pig-sick instead of joyful. Source: my wedding. .
Midoribird Aoi 9 hours ago
Or, in the case of a neighbor, he just had a fear of being in front of a crowd.
#26
One of my best friends: took the wedding ages and ages to start. We all had a bad feeling about it but soldiered on and waited and waited. (Turns out the groom was melting down and they talked him into it. I wish they hadn't, for my friend's sake.)
Later that day at the luncheon, the bride is nowhere to be found. I hunt around a bit and she's sitting with the groom in a side room while he eats because he "wanted to be alone."
Those of us close to the bride knew she'd been saving money for years as a nest egg. We watched on social media as they spent extravagant amounts of her money on their 3 month honeymoon in Europe (after he convinced her to quit her job).
More happened as the years went on (including a sweet little baby who's nearly an adult now), but that wedding was a red flag. And when she finally told me she was getting divorced I couldn't help but blurt "oh thank goodness", at which point she laughed. Got my friend back.
#27
The groom fondling the bride's a*s while the officiant does the preamble, hugging/h**h-fiving his bros when they are declared married (before kissing his new wife), then both of them getting knee-walking drunk and scrapping all night.
#28
A destination wedding. (Please take your precious vacation time, when and where we ask you to, and make it all about us.).
Libstak 17 hours ago (edited)
My niece did it for personal reasons that were an important adjunct to their relationship. They knew only a small number would go, there was about 25 all up. They had a reception locally 3 days later, re wore their wedding dress and tuxedos plus bridesmaids and grooms men, ensuring extended friends and family could have photos with them, for all those who could not attend the destination. Smart thinking imo and it ensured my heavily disabled brother, her uncle as well as grand parents on all sides could be a part of the celebrations.
#29
I found out later that a wedding I attended was also attended by the groom's side piece. That marriage was doomed.
And I've never seen a wedding where the groom smeared cake on the bride's face last. When they're cute and put a little smear of frosting on her nose or try to feed her a too big piece it's fine, but the ones where he just smears cake all over her are doomed. Not a single one has made it 10 years, most don't make 5. Now if the bride smears cake it's fine, those marriages last. But not the other way around.
Kitty Smith 23 hours ago
I saw a really cute wedding moment like this. The groom cut a slice of wedding cake that was 1/5 of the thing, that piece was huge. When he fed it to the bride she was laughing so hard trying too force it down her make up was ruined by the end of it. Been happily married 13 years.
#30
A video presentation of the groom’s birth right before dinner (yes, this actually happened).
#32
How much money is being spent, there is an inverse relationship between how expensive the wedding is and how long the marriage lasts.
Michael Melfa 16 hours ago
I completely support inexpensive weddings. When I got married, we had no money. We did what we could with a friend's backyard, some rented folding chairs, the arch the high school used for prom, a cake from a grandmother's friend, and the town florist giving a discount. Still together 13 years later, wouldn't change a thing.
#33
So I am a wedding photographer. I am actually moving away from weddings, but I have kept up with a bunch of my couples. Weddings where one of the mothers / mothers in law tried to book me and demanded I speak to them as if they were the client (I always make the couple my clients, regardless of who pays. They sign the contract, etc) have ended kind of often.
I suspect it's because of they're controlling of the wedding they're probably controlling of everything else, and a lot of marriages just cannot withstand that.
#34
“Marriage is the HARDEST thing you will EVER have to do, but these two… these two are strong enough to make it work.” My friend, marriage is optional and it’s important to me that you know that. .
#35
When the groom starts his speech with " this is for all you haters who didn't want to see us together" ( rumour has it he was referring to the bride's uncle and brother who don't like him).
Now i am hearing the girl wants to divorce him but can't because they have a young son under 5 years old.
#36
The bride and groom arguing. If they cant get through the "happiest day of their life" without an argument, that marriage is not lasting long.
Shark Lady 16 hours ago
Wedding planning is stressful, made even worse if there are family members who are making unreasonable demands etc. A brief argument due to frayed nerves is not necessarily a red flag, it's how things are resolved that is important.
#37
I went to a wedding once and sat behind the groom’s grandmother. Apparently she’s hard of hearing because everyone heard her “whisper” when the bride walked down the aisle “I guess you can dress up trash”.
#38
I understand not wanting the traditional vows, but I went to one wedding where ALL of the vows were extremely childish like “I promise not to leave the toilet seat up”. They lasted about a year.
Beak Hookage 20 hours ago
I went to a wedding once and the groom was French. They included an extra vow to always put the baguettes in the proper basket. Everyone chuckled. It was a lovely wedding and a lovely day. ^_^
#40
When they newly married couple are having a screaming match. In front of their kids. Still wearing their wedding clothes. Dead of night in front of their apartment.
He got pissed her boyfriend when she was a teenager showed up with someone else. The ex didn't know who's wedding it was. Groom was even more upset because he "handed him a beer".
#41
I used to work weddings as a bartender, and there was a speech I heard where the bride kept talking about how many times she had wanted to leave the groom. That was a red flag.
#42
I went to a wedding where the Brides entire family and close friends gave speeches and they only talk about amazing she was. No mention of the groom in ANY speech. They got divorced a year later.
#43
(My brother's wedding).
The sister of the groom is waaay in the back of the bridesmaid line, behind a long line of the bride's friends who happen to be large women and totally block her view of everything. Couldn't even see my own brother's wedding because of the arrangement during the ceremony. Would've been nicer just to be sitting.
So annoying because my brother & I were very close growing up, and I did a ton to help them out for the wedding. My small request to be closer to the front of the line (so we'd get family pictures together with my brother, Mom, and Dad all in one s**t) were just completely dismissed. She didn't even have a reason... Just didn't care to change the order back (originally my name was, of course, right after the bridesmaid).
She's an only child, spoiled by her parents, and turned into such a bridezilla. She had my brother almost in tears a few times in the weeks before the wedding... Anyone else would've left her, but he's too nice and just keeps "hoping everything will work out." 🤷🏼♀️
I'm keeping my distance from them for a *while* because hearing his constant, real complaints about her got really old... Especially when he actually went through with the wedding.
Lyoness 22 hours ago
I'm on the fence about this one. It's understandable that OP wanted to be closer to the front of the line, but I think it's up to the couple to decide that. If sis asked and bride said no, she could have checked with her brother. As for her arguments - 1. She couldn't see around the other bridesmaids. Well, you could have suggested a staggered line during the rehearsal. And 2, she wanted a family shot. But a picture of their immediate family doesn't usually happen when all the bridesmaids are there - it's a separate picture. Honestly it sounds to me like sis is a little bitter for not having a bigger place in the nuptials because she did so much. But bottom line, it wasn't her wedding, it wasn't her choice, and she'll still be in the pictures.
#44
I went to a wedding one time where the bride ran away from the ceremony with her maid of honor and a guy we worked with (who was invited to the wedding) went to comfort her. she ended up coming back and still getting married then divorcing him later.
#45
Just complaining in general. complain when you get home, thanks.
#48
The father of the bride made a speech about how he saw his daughter ‘organising’ the groom over time. Basically, instead of telling a story of their burgeoning love, it was a tale of how she began to control him over time. Was cringey. Lasted 3 years.
#49
There is a "bride's side" and "groom's side" seating arrangement... and one side is empty.
What do you think ?
Igor914624 13 hours ago
Went to a co-workers wedding once. They had been living together for 2 years and decided to get married when she got pregnant. 7 months later, right after the baby was born, they got divorced. She was a freckled, flaming redhead. He was a pale skinned blonde. The baby was dark skinned and had distinct African features.
Igor914624 13 hours ago
Went to a co-workers wedding once. They had been living together for 2 years and decided to get married when she got pregnant. 7 months later, right after the baby was born, they got divorced. She was a freckled, flaming redhead. He was a pale skinned blonde. The baby was dark skinned and had distinct African features.
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