The violent smashing of cake in the face of a partner who didn’t expect it.

lordeaudre , Dimitri Kuliuk Report

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Sonja

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11 months ago

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Yep, disrespecting boundaries and enjoying humiliation of your partner is not a good start into a marriage. I remember distinctly the report of a guy who smashed his bride's face into the cake and impaled her on a cake support. Then he whined that she had the marriage annulled. They had both agreed to no cake smashing beforehand. What a surprise that a woman doesn't want to be with a man who breaks promises for lolz and sends her to hospital on her wedding day.

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The success of a marriage is inversely proportional to how many times the bride says “this is MY day.”

JetKeel , Emma Bauso Report

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censorshipsucks

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yep narcissists are f*****g insufferable.

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The bride cares more about the wedding than the marriage.

The groom cares more about getting hammered with his mates than anything else.

Any family member openly belittling or insulting their new in-law.

Either spouse's ex rocking up uninvited.

KittikatB , İbrahim Hakkı Uçman Report

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Sonja

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The first two: yes, the last two: it depends on how the spouse reacts

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I’ve been to two weddings where the bride cried because the cake wasn’t perfect. Those two marriages are 0 for 2.

profJesusfish , Trung Nguyen Report

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rullyman

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Wow! My cake arrived at our flat and had a fairly large gash in it because of a mishap with delivery. I went "eh, that looks fixable", sent a message to the person who was setting up the party so they could be prepared, and went back to putting on my make up. The cake baker was called April's Baker. Go look them up, their work is GORGEOUS.

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Drunk bride or groom BEFORE the wedding.

gholmom500 , Soner Görkem Report

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Pudgy Panda

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Yes. I was matron of honour for a friend who was absolutely legless when I arrived before the wedding to help her get ready. If the JP who officiated had not been a personal friend of hers, they would not have been allowed to marry with her in that state. Didn’t last very long.

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They have done everything the family wanted but not what they wanted as a couple.

spanglesandbambi , Min An Report

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Deborah B

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Unless they eloped secretly and now are happy to let the families do whatever they want for the "wedding".

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Snarky jabs being included in the wedding vows. “I can’t believe I got stuck with someone who leaves the toilet seat up” etc just reeks of poor communication and resentment, not quirkiness

Dune1008 , Carsten Vollrath Report

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Michael Largey

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It's also disrespectful to the guests. That's not what they came to hear.

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My cousin looked like he was at a funeral when he got married. Never saw him smile except for pictures and it seemed so fake. He got his marriage annulled within 3 weeks. We found out years later that he found out less than an hour before the wedding that his bride-to-be was sleeping around with her ex. My cousin didn't call off the wedding because he felt like he would disappoint everyone who traveled so far to see him.

euclid0472 , Andrea Piacquadio Report

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Dread Pirate Roberts

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Poor guy :< It had to be devastating finding out too late that his soon to be wife is a hoe.

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At a wedding years ago. The best man’s speech ripped the bride apart to an uncomfortable degree and the groom clearly loved it. The bride not so much, they didn’t get past 9 months. The best man and groom are still good friends.

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Sonja

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Again, no surprise there.

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Older brother had his wedding on a tropical Island and at least 20 of us attended. The morning after the wedding she was seated alone on a beach crying while he was riding Quad bikes with his buddies lol

Good-Camera-190 , Asad Photo Maldives Report

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If one of the spouses can't even make the other the main focus during their honeymoon, and rather goes to a joyride while the partner is crying alone, that's definitely a sure sign the marriage was a mistake.

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The bride or groom trying to scoot away from the other, and avoiding physical contact. I used to work as a DJ and when I saw this I knew the relationship was in trouble.

Oh, that and avoiding eye contact with one another. Not a great sign...

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Sounds like the marriage was forced/arranged

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"pranks" on the wedding day. I used to sing in my church choir (a Catholic church at that, marriage is a sacrément and a Big Deal theoretically) and the groom couldn't wait for the pranks to begin - he did the naff "help me!" gag written on the soles of his shoes. We had a bird's eye view from the choir loft. Half the room snickered, the other groaned, and the priest was just 😑.

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Nadine Debard

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In France, if you do such jokes you won't be married, church or not church. Consent is taken very seriously, and if you dare answering no as a joke, you'd rather book another wedding (and you'll have to wait for 3 weeks by law).

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The groom or bride caring more about being with their friends and getting high/drunk than actually being with their spouse. Saw this at a wedding i helped out once where the groom f****d off for the half the wedding to get high with his friends. Bride had zero clue where they went and was super angry. They got divorced.

Or where the bride and groom hardly talk to each other. Went to a wedding once where the bride and groom barely talked to each other and never really showed any excitement or whatever.

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Sonja

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Those are bandaid weddings. The relationship is already crumbling and the wedding is meant as a fix it. They think that when they get married, everything will change for the better. Sometimes it gets even worse and when the wedding doesn't work they have bandaid kids.

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Recently it was the bridal party having to beg my SIL to come out of the house to go to her wedding.

Solid_Internal_9079 , Dimitri Kuliuk Report

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Realistic Optimist

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I don't get why so many people get married when they don't want to or to people that don't make them happy. Like, I get there can be other factors (e.g culture and religion), but I mean outside of that.

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His vows are all about her… and so are hers.

an_ineffable_plan , Abi Greer Report

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still tired

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"I love you" "aww that's so sweet, I love me too!"

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They have no concern arguing for an extended amount of time in front of other people over the smallest of things.

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Groom screwing one of the bridesmaids. (yes I've seen it)

Scumbag787 , Eko Agalarov Report

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Realistic Optimist

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It's wild that people do this. Aren't bridesmaids/groomsmen often friends/family? Even if the bride or groom is a pos, I can't imagine doing that to a friend or vice versa.

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When the parents on either or both sides run the whole damn show. It's often an omen.

KatyG9 , Becerra Govea Photo Report

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MellonCollie

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If only I had realised this before getting married.

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When the groom’s very pregnant ‘friend’ that no one else knows shows up. I think you can probably see where this is going.

A distant family member of mine isn’t the brightest in the bunch.

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AngelWingsYT

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*grabs the popcorn*

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The kiss at the end of the ceremony is awkward and poorly done. Most typically seen at severely religious weddings where the couple has barely had any physical contact or intimacy and are mostly getting married because they want to have sex. Having grown up Baptist, I've seen many of these and often wonder how terrible, weird, and disappointing the wedding night must be.

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Captain McSmoot

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I would imagine these are the marriages between two people who vow to have their first kiss be their wedding kiss. I will never understand them, but they have a right to exist.

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The groom's mother wears a white dress.

crazycatlady331 , Allen Taylor Report

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Nadine Debard

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My husband's mother wore a black dress that made me think of a funeral (with small touches of white fortunately), and the face she made... Happily together for 25 years

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I went to a wedding where the groom spent the whole night playing on his phone while the bride met all the guests and chatted with everyone. They lasted six months.

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Captain McSmoot

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Because she married a child, not a man. Playing on a phone during your own wedding?!

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I have been a wedding photographer, and there’s several factors that makes me think that the marriage is not going to be very happy. Many times they probably won’t divorce because the wife have been conditioned to think it’s the norm, but she won’t be happy.

Some of the red flags I have seen are:
- When the groom has been up drinking the night before, showing up with a hangover in church and being in a bad mood for the reception because of it
- When they spend no time together at the party, only interaction when people force them because of traditions. Often they are splitting up with their separate friend groups and the groom will be drinking with them
- When the groom doesn’t give a speech or makes a very half hearted one he didn’t put much effort into. Makes me sad every time
- when they have their kids there and the wife is the only one responsible for them
- when the bride is nagging, in a bad mood and is correcting the groom several times throughout the wedding
- when the groom smashes wedding cake in the brides face without consent, laughing about it when she looks hurt

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Duuuuuuude

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I didn't make a speech. Been married almost 25 years.

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I've observed that a woman who has a "wedding book" ready when she meets a guy, will be married quickly and divorced even faster.

unlovelyladybartleby , Studio Negarin Report

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MellonCollie

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What is a wedding book?

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I attended a wedding where the ex-girlfriend was invited as a guest. At some point accusations were made of pre-wedding infidelity; and at the reception there was a fight between the aunts of the bride and groom. The groom left the site and I had to go and bring him back to the reception. It was a real mess. Marriage lasted about 2 years.

bowery_boy , Eugenia Remark Report

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MellonCollie

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That screaming tree!

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The quality of the toasts. If they’re s****y or too one sided, there’s no hope.

When my wife’s cousin got married, the maid of honor talked about their long friendship for about ten minutes and ended the speech with “and I don’t know Groom very well, but if Bride picked you then you must be a good guy!”

The best man’s speech was worse. “When Groom told me he was marrying Bride the first thing I said was…what are you thinking?!” And then a long pregnant pause before we went on to say some more positive stuff. About the groom. And the pause was very, very long. To the point where it was clearly not just a joke.

They divorced after maybe 18 months.

So yeah, I feel like s****y toasts are an indicator that things weren’t meant to be.

Barkingpanther , KEREM KSLR Report

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Caitlin Davenport

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My MIL made a terrible speech about us checking in with ourselves to see if we were still happy together. She had a horrific divorce. We smiled like it was a normal speech because we knew it was coming. Points for us: my husband is very familiar with how NOT to act in a relationship!

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If one or both of the couple obviously don’t want to interact with their new spouse.

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When they're too happy as if they have reached their lifetime goal, usually it's a shut up marriage and won't last. If they're happy because they're celebrating their love with their loved ones but act as if the wedding won't make a huge difference in the already existing relationship, it can last

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Jon Steensen

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yep the wedding shouldn't be the goal, but the beginning. The real celebrations should be 25 years, the 50 years etc. Getting married isn't the hard part, it is the time after that where you have to put in the work, and where you can celebrate your achievements AFTERWARDS.

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When the guests all guess how long it will last, usually it lasts forever.

Isolation is a hell of a drug.

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This makes no sense

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They spend the whole wedding apart.

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