I went to a wedding where all the guests ended up getting food poisoning from the buffet. It was a real party pooper.

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John Anderson

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2 years ago

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No pun intended?

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A man at the gym proposed to his weight partner. She said no. It's safe to say it didn't work out.

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Scott Crowell

Scott Crowell

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2 years ago

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Well that's one way to lose weight

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Two pianists had a good marriage. They always were in a chord.

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Ender

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2 years ago

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-_- what bugs me is that it's funny.

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A shy priest greets the wedding guests to the Chapel. He’s very nervous and doesn’t say much.

As the couple approach the altar the priest steps up and gives the best speech anyone has ever heard. He’s full of confidence, incredibly expressive and has everyone in fits of laughter!

After the vows, the priest is extremely shy and barely says a word to anyone.

The groom approaches the him and asks, “Why are you so shy? You seemed like a different person when you were giving that speech!”

“I know.” Says the priest, “But that was just my altar ego”.

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A man decided to propose to the love of his life, but as soon as he got down on one knee he farted. It was a very fun knee moment.

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I married Mrs. Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.

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It was love at first swipe.

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When the TV repairman got married, the reception was excellent.

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Last week I went to the wedding of two nuclear power workers. The groom was glowing, and the bride was positively radiant.

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Scott Crowell

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2 years ago

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Must have been Chernobyl. Too soon?

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I heard that Comic Sans is divorcing Times New Roman.

She said he just wasn't his type.

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Did you hear about the two spiders who just got engaged?

I hear they met on the web.

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Pop the bubbly, I officially got a hubby.

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Country

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2 years ago

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This sounds like it would be a line in a rap song

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The famous musician proposed to the woman he was in love with. He did it with a kneel diamond.

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Scott Crowell

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2 years ago

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He probably went to Jared for it.

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The lightbulb was so confused when someone she barely knew proposed to he. "Watt?" she replied, "I'm shocked."

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Scott Crowell

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2 years ago

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That was enlightening. Thank you for brightening my day.

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I was devastated to hear that the jumper cables are getting a divorce. They said that after the wedding, they just lost the spark.

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Scott Crowell

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Too bad they couldn't jump start their relationship.

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The father of the bride gave a speech at the wedding. He got the bride to put her hand out and the groom to place his hand on top of hers. He looked at the groom, and said, "This is the last time you'll ever have the upper hand."

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What was the best part of the wedding? The reception; it really took the cake.

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Why does a man twist his wedding ring on his finger?

He’s trying to figure out the combination.

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For butter or worse, a toast to the lovely bride and groom.

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Scott Crowell

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2 years ago

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Jam it! These puns are really sweet

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Why did the bride change her last name? Because it had a nice ring to it.

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Did you hear about that bald guy that was so in love with his comb, he decided to marry it? At the wedding he declared, "I'll never part with it!"

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Cross my heart and elope to die.

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It is true that love is blind?

Because marriage is definitely an eye-opener.

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For newly married couples, there is a progression of rings: the engagement ring, the wedding ring and the suffering!

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I identify with football players because I know what it’s like to spend your whole life training for a large, jewel-encrusted ring.

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Get punny and creative—everyone loves a good play on words.

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I decided I'm going to change my name when I get married. I would love something with a good ring to it.

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I asked the librarian if he had any books of proposal puns. She said yes.

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I am obsessed with watching wedding proposals on YouTube. I just find them so engaging.

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I was in love with a sheep, so I wanted to propose. I finally got up the courage to ask, "Will ewe marry me?"

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Scott Crowell

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2 years ago

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This joke was so baaaaaaaaaaad.

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The bride didn't mean to gain wait before the wedding. She did it by snaccident.

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The most emotional part of the wedding was not the speeches or the vows. It was when the cake was smashed into my face. It really brought a tier to my eye.

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Two florists got married. It was an arranged marriage.

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I went to a wedding where a fight broke out between the bride and groom. It was martial arts.

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I went to my friend's room before his wedding, and asked if he was wearing two pairs of socks. He looked confused, and I told him he had to put another pair on. I don't want him to get cold feet.

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It's been five years since I went to the wedding of the invisible man and the invisible woman. The kids aren't anything to look at either.

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I hope you live apple-y ever after.

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You're the avocado to my toast.

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Let your conscience be your bride.

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Firstly, I’d like to thank you all for coming to celebrate these two here at their Maryland, I'm sorry wedding.

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Congrats to a Dino-mite couple!

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Scott Crowell

Scott Crowell

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2 years ago

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I bet that wedding was Explosive.

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Nade is going to buy some meat for his surprise proposal to you. Are you going to marinade?

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The man proposed to the woman he was in love with using 100 pink balloons. She turned up to the proposal 40 minutes late, so the minute she turned up he popped the question.

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Scott Crowell

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2 years ago

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Well was it a boy or girl?

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I met a sailor I wanted to marry, but even though he was in love with me, he wasn't ready to tie the knot.

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The Queen of Hearts had to marry the King of Hearts. There was no denying that they were perfectly suited.

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For butter or worse, I want to toast the lovely bride and groom.

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The groom decided to ask his brother to be in his wedding. He was sure he was the best man for the job.

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After all the talk about cold feet before a wedding, I didn't notice. Mine were just groom temperature.

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I went to a cannibal wedding. The best man toasted the groom, the groom toasted the bridesmaids, the father of the bride toasted everyone who couldn't be there. It was a huge barbecue.

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Scott Crowell

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Sound like it was a very fulfilling event.

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So Hydrogen and Helium decided to get a divorce. I've heard they've both moved on, but they still think of each other periodically.

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What did Cinderella say when her photos did not show up?

Someday my prints will come!

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Congratulations to the pear-fect couple.

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It's been an emotional day, even the cake is in tiers.

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When is the right time to get married?

I don’t know, what do you propose?

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Did you hear about the two cell phones who got married?

The reception was terrific.

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Marriage is becoming more and more progressive.

I hear two scoutmasters decided to tie the knot.

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Did you hear about the notebook that married a pencil?

It finally found Mr. Write.

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A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?”

And the father replied, “I don’t know, son, I’m still paying for it.”

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Now we get to hang out forever!

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Scott Crowell

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2 years ago

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Said no one

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Til death do us party.

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Sip, sip, hooray!

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Donut ever let me go.

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Yoda best bride.

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You’re getting meow-ied.

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I love you from my head tomatoes.

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The beers looked gorgeous on their wedding day. They were pitcher perfect.

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Scott Anderson

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2 years ago

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They poured their hearts out to each other

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Bride your time.

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Sugar and spouse.

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Scott Crowell

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2 years ago

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Awww so sweet

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We make a nice pear.

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What did the peppermint say during his marriage?

He said, “We were always meant to be together.”

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This might sound cheesy, but you’re really grate.

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Make a ring around the alter and call it the wedding ring.

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The groom gave me permission to riddle the best man speech with puns which was great, but im a bit worried Illinois the rest of you.

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The melon was shocked when the other melon proposed. She exclaimed, "Honeydew know! I cantelope!"

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I proposed to mime, and asked, "Will you mirror me?" She was absolutely speechless.

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The cellphone was excited to propose to his girlfriend. After months of planning, he finally gave her a ring.

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Mr Ohm remembers fondly how he proposed to Mrs Ohm.

He couldn't resistor.

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I went to the wedding of two artists. There was the bride to be, the groom to be and a whole load of pencils. 2B.

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I liked the whole wedding, but it was the reception that really took the cake.

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Two antennas got married. The wedding was a bit disappointing, but the reception was great.

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The wedding was very emotional. Even the cake was in tiers by the end.

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Two melons tried to go to Vegas to get married, but they didn't have the right documents. It's a shame they cantelope.

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Scott Crowell

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I think these Melon jokes are starting to ripen.

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Best men, please stand to the left because women are always right.

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"I'd like to give a toast," said the groom. "Make sure you put some jam on it," replied the bride.

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I'm just like a dumpling, I have fillings for you.

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The bride was about to walk down the aisle when she realised she really needed to pee. "How long do I have?" she asked her father. He replied, "Go now, or forever hold your pees."

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You two are mer-maid for each other.

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Two many little digs will send a marriage to an early grave.

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A couple of canon balls got married yesterday. I heard that they are already expecting BBs.

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Some mornings I wake up grumpy. And others I just let him sleep in.

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Mint to Be.

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What do you call a melon that's not allowed to get married? Can't elope.

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I cannoli be happy when I'm with you.

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You're my significant otter.

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The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to prove it.

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You've stolen a pizza my heart.

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You're one in a melon.

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Our love is in-tents.

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Scott Crowell

Scott Crowell

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2 years ago

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Said the campgrounds

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Owl always love you.

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Meow and forever.

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No bunny compares to you.

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You’re my butter half.

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I love you berry much.

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You’re the peanut butter to my jelly

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Without you our puzzle is incomplete, please sign a piece.

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Beer loving lovers aren’t off the hook either.

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Love is brewing.

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Scott Crowell

Scott Crowell

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A good morning start with Folgers in your cup. I know you sang this in your head.

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I love you pho real.

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I love you s'more everyday.

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My heart beets for you.

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Partners in lime.

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You two nuts belong together.

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Congratulations to my favorite pair of pricks.

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You and me ramen to be.

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To the starch of your wonderful journey.

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The girl melon was shocked when her boyfriend proposed. "We are far too young!" she shrieked, "We cantelope!"

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My wife told me once she didn't love how I roasted her just before I proposed to her. Looking back on it, I can see now that she was a bit diss engaged.

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Apply Ever After.

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You make miso happy.

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Words can not espresso how much you mean to me.

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Whole latte love.

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Are you French? Because Eiffel for you.

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I'm whaley excited to marry you.

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I stand with Ukraine 🇺🇦

I stand with Ukraine 🇺🇦

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Ha

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We’ve got all the thyme in the world.

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Scott Crowell

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So much thyme on my hands

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Deerly beloved

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You make me hap-pea.

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