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Many years ago, when my parents were making a guest list for their wedding, my father took a piece of paper and wrote: “Number 1 – Mom.” It makes perfect sense, considering how emotionally bonded we are to our parents. But sometimes they start to overuse this bond.
Like the story we’re going to tell you today from the user u/stay_zooted, who, literally two days before his wedding, faced a demand to seat two more guests—who were personally invited by… that’s right, his mom!
More info: Reddit
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The author of the post is getting married in two days and recently received a text from his mom about the additional guests
Image credits: Jonathan Borba / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The problem was that Mom had invited them behind his back—and even demanded to book them specific places!
Image credits: stay_zooted
The author found the way to handle this problem but he was very upset and took it online to vent about
So, the Original Poster (OP) is getting married in two days and just got a text from his mom—Aunt Evelyn and Pablo will also be at the wedding. It turns out that Mom invited them herself, and now she wants them seated in specific places at the reception!
And the problem isn’t even that the seating chart has long been compiled. Or that the menu will have to be changed for the sake of additional guests. And it’s not even that Mom invited someone behind the groom’s back. The main problem is that the author has no idea who Aunt Evelyn and Pablo actually are!
No, in the end, the author found out that Evelyn is his grand-aunt from his mother’s side, whose existence he hadn’t known about until today. Yes, this often happens—at our wedding, especially if it’s pretty much lavish and with delicious treats, sometimes quite a few relatives appear that we hadn’t known before.
In general, the issue seems to have been resolved—it just so happened that another couple of guests had literally just announced they wouldn’t be able to make it, so the OP has the unique chance to personally meet Aunt Evelyn and Pablo anyway. But they will sit in the vacant seats—nothing more. And then, when the celebrations are over, the author will obviously need to have a serious talk with his mother…
Image credits: stay_zooted
“Of course, the mother had no right to invite anyone without coordinating it with the newlyweds – it’s just basic common sense. But often parents of adult children blatantly neglect this common sense, believing that they have the right to decide for them,” says Maria Kryvosheeva, a psychologist and NLP coach, whom Bored Panda got in with touch for a comment.
“And in this sense, it is very important to suppress the slightest attempts to decide anything for you – otherwise, sooner or later, you will find that your parents are starting to control your life, as they did a couple of decades ago. Of course, not all parents act this way, but this is a fairly common pattern.
“In any case, since this man gave up and allowed his mother’s relatives to show up at the reception, it makes sense to have a talk with her later and explain that such behavior is totally unacceptable in the future. I hope he will do so. But for now, I wish the wedding to go without the slightest incident,” Maria sums up.
In the comments on the original post—of course—people supported the author in his indignation, fully sharing the whole range of feelings that overwhelmed him after reading that text. “I can feel the frustration from here, calling someone Mother is the equivalent of your mom calling you by your full name,” someone wrote quite wittily.
Some responders believed that the author was overly accommodating in communicating with his mom—probably wanting to avoid a scandal on the eve of his big day. “Even with the drop out I would have told her that they are not invited,” a commenter claimed. “Hard rule: no introductions at my wedding,” another added. And what do you, our dear readers, think about this story?
People in the comments unanimously sided with the author, telling him that the situation is actually not uncommon
Image credits: Ivan Samkov / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Rene Terp / Pexels (not the actual photo)
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What do you think ?
Myoviridae 1 month ago
I was once asked if I wanted a plus 1 to a wedding after I started dating someone and had already RSVP'd as single. The sheer panic I felt at that question was astounding. Is it rude to say yes? Is it rude to say no? Can I just pretend there is an earthquake and hide under the table until they go away?
Mike F 1 month ago
I don't know why you were down voted, but I evened it out.
Load More Replies... Grenelda Thurber 1 month ago
I keep thinking these situations might be due to cultural/generational differences. When my brother got married, the reception was literally cake and punch in the church basement. No meal, no open bar, no band, no assigned seating. We all just chatted for a while and went on our way. Four of my mom's cousins showed up unexpectedly, and it was great! We all got to see them. The cake was plenty big enough for four extra slices, and there was extra punch too. Weddings didn't used to be such a huge deal. They didn't cost thousands of dollars. It's a recent thing for a wedding (outside of royalty or the mega-wealthy) to be such a formal event. Some people haven't been privy to the new s**t.
roddy 1 month ago
More people should be aware there are alternatives to the huge, stressful, expensive wedding full of people you hardly know. Best wedding I went to had a reception in a back yard, an old bathtub full of beer, no seating, and easily portable food. It was joyous and informal, and if latecomers had arrived unexpectedly, it would have been no problem.
Load More Replies...
Pamacious 1 month ago
At our wedding reception, I was greeted by two family friends that we hadn't seen in 20 years. They had flown red eye from California to Florida just for the wedding. It never occurred to me to be upset, even though they were technically friends of my parents. We deliberately left a couple of open spots so that we could feed the photographer or members of the string quartet who wanted to eat, so there was no stress - just delight - when we found we had extras.
Myoviridae 1 month ago
I was once asked if I wanted a plus 1 to a wedding after I started dating someone and had already RSVP'd as single. The sheer panic I felt at that question was astounding. Is it rude to say yes? Is it rude to say no? Can I just pretend there is an earthquake and hide under the table until they go away?
Mike F 1 month ago
I don't know why you were down voted, but I evened it out.
Load More Replies... Grenelda Thurber 1 month ago
I keep thinking these situations might be due to cultural/generational differences. When my brother got married, the reception was literally cake and punch in the church basement. No meal, no open bar, no band, no assigned seating. We all just chatted for a while and went on our way. Four of my mom's cousins showed up unexpectedly, and it was great! We all got to see them. The cake was plenty big enough for four extra slices, and there was extra punch too. Weddings didn't used to be such a huge deal. They didn't cost thousands of dollars. It's a recent thing for a wedding (outside of royalty or the mega-wealthy) to be such a formal event. Some people haven't been privy to the new s**t.
roddy 1 month ago
More people should be aware there are alternatives to the huge, stressful, expensive wedding full of people you hardly know. Best wedding I went to had a reception in a back yard, an old bathtub full of beer, no seating, and easily portable food. It was joyous and informal, and if latecomers had arrived unexpectedly, it would have been no problem.
Load More Replies... Pamacious 1 month ago
At our wedding reception, I was greeted by two family friends that we hadn't seen in 20 years. They had flown red eye from California to Florida just for the wedding. It never occurred to me to be upset, even though they were technically friends of my parents. We deliberately left a couple of open spots so that we could feed the photographer or members of the string quartet who wanted to eat, so there was no stress - just delight - when we found we had extras.
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