It's not body shaming someone to tell them that a dress half the size of what they usually wear probably isn't going to fit. It's just being matter of fact. And the salesperson tried to say it gently.

You did nothing wrong. And I say this as a size 26 woman. Dealing with reality is not body shaming.

Wedding dresses infamously run small, so trying on the correct size was already a long shot. And holding one up to your body is NO way to try it on, you have to try it on your actual body to see how it fits, where the waist is vs your waist (I have a high waist, I KNOW some cuts don’t flatter me), how the bust fits, the sleeves, the skirt, the length, etc. Wedding dresses usually have a lot going on, structurally, so eyeing one does not equal an actual fitting.

I'm not saying a size 30 woman is definitely justified with thinking they can fit into a size 14 but women's fashion needs to get away from their weird numbering system since it is meaningless. I guarantee every size 14 in that shop was actually a different size since each manufacturer can change what the number means, even between items. Is a size 14 dress built for a woman with a 42 inch bust and 32 inch hips or a 32 inch bust and 42 inch hips? Is the hemline for someone 4'11" or 6'2"?

Definitely NTA but as a big girl, I can tell you your plus sized customer probably has all kinds of triggers and issues just walking into a dress shop, let alone (gulp) trying something on. Trying something on, especially with thin pretty ladies around, is an utter nightmare. Thank you for trying to be kind to her. If it was me I'd want to look at a few "in my dreams I could wear this" dresses. And then I would sigh and get something that fit. It is wonderful that your shop can even GET a 30.

Saying the dress is 8 sizes smaller than her size and won't fit is better than saying about not wanting to squeeze her into it hahaha. Sometimes being direct is much better. ''squeezing you into it'' lmao

NTA. Did anyone else think 🤔...if she bought a dress once she complained to the manager and probably got a discount...she very likely wasn't actually a size 30 in the first place and this was a set up from the start. I say this because I'm a plus size woman who wears an 20-22 and I know better than to even look at the size 14 dress section because I'm just gonna be disappointed or inadvertently or sometimes out right rudely fat shamed for not staying in my "plus size" lane. Also did anyone else notice the customer brought up she was a size 30 and then "hated" the 3 dresses in her "correct" size, so she just "magically" gravitated to the size 14 section...(things that make you go 🤔)

I wasn’t one of the girls who grew up drooling over Brides Magazine. In fact, when I was a girl, I liked the idea of eloping because of the privacy (reinforced later when I worked night audit in a hotel with a bridal venue, and saw too many couples bothered by drunk “friends” all night). My husband and I got married at the courthouse with just a few close friends in attendance. I wore a nice white dress, my husband wore a suit, and we stayed at a friend’s beach house for our honeymoon, which was their wedding gift to us. For us, that was simple, low key, stress-free, and perfect. However, I have been bridal gown shopping with friends, so know it can be a very demoralizing experience. The way bridal gowns are sized are brutal. The woman in this story may have been a size 20 anywhere else, but a 30 in the bridal store. Believe me, those f*****g numbers have an effect, and not always a good one. I remember a size 4 friend of mine ended up in something like a size 12 or 14 wedding gown, that had the same measurements as a comparable size 4 formal gown in any other store. That’s just cruel, especially considering how much we invest in finding our dream wedding gown.

People generally know their size. Not sure why this bride was being so extra but OP shouldn’t have gotten in trouble for that.

NTA OP. I think you should have told the manager what happened before the bride did. NO DOUBT the bride would have, at the very least, ripped the dress. Then you'd have been in a worse off situation with your manager. Ask manager how the store would like you to handle a bride like this, since they don't want you to hold it up to them.

If she lacks the self-awareness to know she could blow out a seam trying on a sample dress, which I'm guessing are expensive to make, then she deserves to hear the truth. Some people don't take a hint.

I think the client did it on purpose, full well knowing she would "get insulted" and that's why she changed her tone when served by the mgr. She knew very well that you didn't have the authority to give a discount, but the mgr would, in return for the drama mama. She played you, AND played the mgr.

I really don't think the OP did anything wrong. I'm baffled by the woman wanting to try on a size 14 dress when she knows she's a 30. Maybe there are a few things OP could have said a little more nicely, but she's NTA here.

i’m BIG and i would never be so ridiculous to attempt to try on a dress that small no matter how frustrated i may be with dress shopping and maybe even with fps (fat people syndrome) as i like to call it, but I don’t take get upset at one person for other peoples rude behaviour and sink to the same level OR walk around with a chip on my should because i’m obese and struggling to find a dress.

The reason an a*s is because she has gone to other shops and they didn’t have her size in what she has seen and wants. This personknows that her size is a problem and has taken it out on every salesperson she has come across.

Attitude can say a lot more than words sometimes and often we're unaware of the tones we add in. If the words were said with the wrong intonation, they'd come across as the stereotypical snotty salesperson who thinks you're too poor for the thing (Pretty Woman style). The way this was worded, that could easily have happened here.

Honestly I'd have lost patience with the lardass and told her outright you're simply too fat to even think of trying one that size. They know they're fat and they take it out on anyone they can.

She's not necessarily the a*****e, but this website is for using a photo of a plus size bride as an "example of a fat person in a wedding dress". Super unnecessary.

Definitely NTA. Brides are stressful and difficult anyway, and trying on a dress 8 sizes too small isn't going to make the bride feel great and I guess if she damaged the dress she'd have to pay for it. Maybe you should have just let her do it. I've worked in retail and I would have done exactly what you did. Don't let this bride terrorize you! You were doing your job

The Bride should dress to body type and use common sense. I don't like body shaming it's harmful to girls it gives you low self esteem and confidence.

NTA the bridezilla can't understand she's too big for the dress n she set herself up for that one assuming she can squeeze into it. Not so much. I have a sister who's heavy set as well n she rather go slightly bigger than her size so she can fit n move arnd but I guess she thought she would make magic n go 16 sizes smaller. Sry not happening. The sales lady was very sweet compared to things n stories I've heard that ppl simply said no ya too fat n no this wasn't the case she tried her best n bridezilla is just rude n others had to help her n finally got one. I can just see how the wedding will go the way she's being. Ya did ya best n no way should ya be in trouble she's just a rotten b***h who can't get her way or magically become who she isnt.

As a large bodied person near that size, the fear of just going in to try dresses when you already know the selection will be bad and you know that your body is not going to look the way you truly want in a wedding dress, they truly arent designed for large bodies, then yeah of course the bride was going to be on edge. I dont think the sales person was rude or wrong but also has no clue what its like to be in their shoes and how awful so many clothing experiences are.

NTA and not body shaming either. People cannot handle facts anymore.

NTA, she'd have possibly tore and damaged that dress if she'd had tried so desperately to squeeze into it. You saved her from having to pay for damages. I'm petty so after her being so rude I'd probably have smiled all sweetly and said "sure" then presented her with the bill after she damaged it. You didn't body shame her, simply gave her a dose of much needed reality. That dress is literally more than half her size, there is no way it would ever fit unless she spent a long, long time on the treadmill (which tbh, might be beneficial at a size 30, that's got to be morbidly obese, surely? not fat shaming, I'm a bit chunky myself but that size sounds worrying o.o)

She was the a*****e sorry. Shopping for a wedding dress (or any dress) when you are plus-sized is stressful and humiliating as you are made to feel like you don't belong in clothes shops. The assistant was hostile from the get go. Telling her they only had 3 dresses in her size in front of everyone, like she was asking for something ridiculous. I wonder what her face was doing at the time. I am the same size as her and I can tell you people have a look of disgust on their faces without even realising it. She picked up the 14 in a protest I assure you. This woman ruined what should have been a good experience and you know what, ALL the dresses should come in a size 30. We are people too. Just for the record I am not a victim, I have an eating disorder. No one wants to be fat, it is sometimes out of our control.

Seriously? "Listen up, fat a*s - a size 14 won't fit one of your thighs" would have been offensive, trying to assist her in finding a dress that actually fit was not. NTA

I think stating facts would have been better. By "trying to be nice" and saying we don't want you "squeezing" into the dress it was offensive. I would have said "This dress is a size 14, and your regular size is a size 30. Unfortunately, the smallest dress you would be able to comfortably try on is a size 26/28, which I would be happy to pull for you."