I'm pretty sure the cousin purposely excluded her, which makes me sad for her, especially since they were so close at one point. That's just hurtful. No, she absolutely does not need to send a gift. Not out of spite, just out of etiquette. It is absolutely her choice to send a gift or not since she didn't get invited. I just want to give her a hug.

Why would you buy a present for the people who don't want to see you at their wedding? It's not the first story here when people prioritize their son/nephew's girlfriend's convenience over their own child's interest. Weird.

Bride doesn't like OP so no invite. I'd tell Dad if he's so worried about a present to buy it himself.

Oh Honey stop! Usually the 1st or 2nd thing you sense is correct. This is a straight on snub, a slap, & quite sh*tty behaviour on your cousin's part AND while your face is still stinging, you're expected to take that "high road" & shop for a gift..😶Trust me OP, this "high road" goes nowhere you wanna be. Sometimes when you take care of yourself you won't look good to certain people. STOP people- pleasing.

I'm thinking that the OP doesn't realize what a toxic family she has. She loves them, but they obviously don't think much of her. Some in that gang are narcissists and they appear to enjoy gaslighting her. And the issue with her graduation party? That tells me they don't give a damn about her and they were trying to pacify the rich girl. What a sad situation. I would definitely go NC with the lot of them.

The only thing you owe them is Jack and Squat. I'd give then a hardy dose of both. I'm so sad your dad did not stick up for you about this or your Graduation party. What a shame they ruined a special occasion..You take the weekend and spend it with your actual friends. You owe the couple nothing.

NTA, don't buy them anything. What a weird thing to expect anyways. And by the way: Graduation is a much more life-changing achievement than a wedding. You set the path to your future, whereas a wedding doesn't change anything for the couple really,.They were a couple before and will be afterward.

I just hope her mother is better to her than her father and his whole family. As her parents are divorced, I just assume she is.

NTA 3000. Go no contact with anyone on Ted's side.

Absolutely should NOT send a gift, not only because OP wasn't invited to the wedding & therefore is not obligated, but it sounds like the bride would just throw away any gift given by OP

No, you are not the a*****e in this situation. Your entire family are all assholes, but you are not. To make you change your graduation party for her so that most of your friends missed it and then to tolerate her eliminating you from the wedding.... Assholes all around. It sounds like the only person in the family that's not an a*****e is you.

A cousin of mine got married recently and no invite to family except parent, sibling and grandparents. I hadn't know of the date if not for the invite on our grandparents fridge. A week or so before our grandmother asks who'll be at the ceremony itself and got the reply "anyone who wants to". Had I known that in advance I'd probably join for the ceremony-I understand how you might not want a 100+ people at the party. But knowing that I could have been welcome only due to our grandmothers inquiry, just no. My side of the family sent a card with well wishes but did not feel obligated to spend money on a gift for an event of which we were not even informed about the date.

I wonder how your dad would feel if he was the one who didn't get invited. Plan a great weekend, no present is required when not invited. Future plans with family and cousins should be carefully considered too

It doesn’t seem like you would even know them if you weren’t related and they didn’t even tell you they were getting married. Send them a card or like their Facebook page.

N T A. Sounds to me like EVERYONE of YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS are narssistic and MATERIAL LISTIC. YOUR COUSIN did this on PURPOSE. YOU KNOW you were excluded. NO WEDDINGTON INVITE means NO CARD or GIFT. AND from hear on OUT IF YOU do have a PARTY ONLY invite PEOPLE YOU want. NOT WHAT YOU FAMILY wants. In other WORDS BEGONE with YOU. GOOD LUCK

No invited no gift

This is so sad that a close relationship between cousins has been shattered. This seems like it is a deliberate snub. I'm a believer that no invitation means no gift. Looks like some family relationship reevaluating is needed here no matter the individual. Believe me it will make life more happier.

There's a good chance the cousin isn"t even aware you didn't receive an invitation. (It's not something that would have been on my husband's radar.) How about sending a quick card to him saying, "Recently heard through the family grapevine that you're getting married soon. Best wishes to you both!" and leave it at that. Remain friendly, stick to the high ground and let the chips fall where they may. Only a card, though. No invite, no gift.

OP is making the assumption that she wasn't sent an invite which went missing in the mail on the basis if she had been she'd be hassled for her RSVP, and I can't disagree the assumption. OP supposedly keeps in touch with the groom, but it took another family member to tell her the wedding date before she knew invites went out. OP doesn't click with the bride, knows she's from a well to do area but seemingly not much else. Since she seems not to have any relationship with the bride and not a close relationship with the groom, I can understand she's not invited to her cousin's wedding. What I don't understand is why her father and the other relative think she should send a gift when she wasn't invited.

They really need to ask. But the fact that others in the family had invites for a while and and there no casual conversation about the wedding is a bit weird, but hard to say

if Im not invited, like heck would i buy a gift!

Why should you buy a gift for a party you weren’t invited to? And why would you worry about it?

I think that if she's that close to her cousin then she should ask him why she's been excluded. It doesn't have to be confrontational just a casual question. Maybe ask your parents can you give something towards the gift they bought for them so you can say you contributed at least. Or just send a Wedding Card on the day ...