“Am I The [Jerk] For Wearing Short Shorts To The Gym Even After Being Asked To Stop?”
Interview With AuthorPeople absolutely love policing what others should and shouldn’t wear. Too long, too short, doesn’t cover enough, covers too much, too colorful, too muted, your totally-normal-body-part-that-all-humans-have is showing! God forbid!
In an absolutely hilarious turn of events, a man at the gym was asked to pretty much “cover up” his thighs, as his luscious legs were making a wife have impure thoughts and her boyfriend, having caught wind of it, didn’t share the sentiment.
More info: Reddit
It turns out that there is an unacceptable short length for men – when someone’s husband catches their wife staring at your legs
Image credits: Sam Sabourin (not the actual photo)
A man was wondering if he’s a jerk for not changing his shorts to longer ones after he was asked to by a fellow gym-goer
Image credits: u/bothonpele
Image credits: SULE MAKAROGLU (not the actual photo)
He has gone to the gym in “ranger panties” – very short shorts – for years now and no one has batted too much of an eye
Image credits: u/bothonpele
Image credits: Mario Valenzuela (not the actual photo)
When a woman became obsessed with his legs, her upset husband tried to tell him to “cover up”, so the next day the guy put on long sleeves and shorter shorts
Image credits: u/bothonpele
This made the guy crazy with anger, but the poster would not budge and took it online instead to ask if he was right
Hey, being hot is sometimes a burden, I get it. It’s a cross you have to bear and it’s oh so difficult getting looks and smiles from people every day… I’m here to tell you that you should bear it with pride, just like the poster of the story, all of you beautiful Bored Panda readers!
It’s ridiculous to think that someone would even ask him to cover up his… checks notes… legs? I mean, I understand that legs, just like any part of the human body, can be attractive, but if there’s nothing that kids shouldn’t see showing, you can’t really expect to be taken seriously.
It’s exactly as one commenter, indoor-girl, on the original post said: “Just as long as the mouse stays inside the house, you’re good to go!”
The fact that the guy, instead of doing anything that the jealous man would like, put on ever shorter shorts and long sleeves, thus “covering up”, is pretty much the single greatest example of malicious compliance I have ever seen. If there is a hall of fame for such things, I hope that this post is there, because it deserves it.
Gyms usually have various rules pertaining to how you dress, but they’re rarely actually enforced, as long as you have no unhoused mice. Commercial gyms usually have harsher restrictions on what you can wear, especially that you have to wear things like shirts and longer shorts. More grassroots gyms usually give you an ocular pat-down and as long as you’re not wearing something so revealing as to make someone uncomfortable, you’re golden.
Going on a gym-related tangent, you should also take into account that it’s best to have absorbent fitness clothes and a towel with you, because how you dress starts mattering when you leave puddles and sticky marks everywhere behind you, like a dog running out of the rain and into the house. Make sure you wipe down that bench!
Image credits: Michael DeMoya (not the actual photo)
While we’re on the topic of short shorts, let’s talk about them! If I had to read and look at all sorts of them, I’ll at least take y’all down with me!
Let’s start with the poster’s infamous ranger panties. These actually come from the military, as sometime in the ’70s, U.S. Army Rangers received these short shorts as part of their physical training uniform – that solves why they’re named that way, then.
Apparently they quickly became favorites for working out as they’re slightly stretchy and silky smooth, apparently “literally smooth as silk”. That’s why they got their nickname of “silkies” among the marines too.
Many commenters from Australia and New Zealand balked at the story, saying that short shorts are pretty much part of their national identities by now and totally loved by everyone. I think that may come from the standard rugby uniform – the shortest of shorts are certainly beloved by them.
Over there, they are called “stubbies” and really are beloved by guys, worn with pride no matter their size. If you’re going to take away one thing from this article, make sure that it is this video, a New Zealand soft drink Lemon & Paeroa advertisement.
When the ad opens with “back in the day, when men’s fashion wasn’t cutting it, modern Kiwi males demanded more from their casual attire, but what they actually got was less – a whole lot less – as they welcomed in stubbies” you know the thing is going to be amazing.
Image credits: u/bothonpele
We reached out to the poster to hopefully get a sneak peek at the goods
Bored Panda succeeded in reaching out to the poster with one request (and a couple of brief questions) – to see his legs and got a reply back!
You can see the poster’s stompers up there – judge for yourself whether you could avert your eyes from them in the gym.
According to the poster’s testimony, the husband has pretty much rage quit the gym by now, which is the next best step after throwing a tantrum about how another man is dressed, really.
Furthermore, according to bothonpele, his experience in the army and his grandmom gave him confidence, which is pretty stoic and sweet at the same time if you ask me. He quotably added: “She is long gone, but still lives in me.”
The man finishes by saying that everyone should be comfortable in the gym and life – whatever that looks like, the poster’s good with, which is a view that more people should take.
The poster’s story was wildly popular in the AITA community, raking in 13.8k upvotes in less than a week. The community judged the guy not to be a jerk in the slightest and pretty much told him to keep flaunting those legs forever.
Share your own thoughts about the story and short shorts in the comments!
The community decided that the guy was not a jerk, instead giving the titles to the insecure boyfriend
"Update - if you want to see my legs, they are now my profile pic" LOLLL I think dude was more angry about your moose knuckle than sexy legs... and by the spelling this is like a 13 year old writing his own jerk off material this is the funniest thing I've read in awhile.
I would have said to the husband: " Move away from the story I've invented so I can show my muscular legs to random 'females'". Whatever...
Load More Replies...Struggling to believe this one I'm afraid. Might be a steroid induced fantasy. Gyms are full of poseurs exposing their bodies, nothing odd about that.
I have my doubts about this being real but I'm pro men wearing booty shorts. Just had to explain to my son why the girls/women in my final fantasy game are wearing micro skirts and armor bikinis and high heals while fighting. I mean it's a pretty great game it's just missing guys in hot pants 😉.
The less the armor covers, the higher the defensive is.
Load More Replies..."Update - if you want to see my legs, they are now my profile pic" LOLLL I think dude was more angry about your moose knuckle than sexy legs... and by the spelling this is like a 13 year old writing his own jerk off material this is the funniest thing I've read in awhile.
I would have said to the husband: " Move away from the story I've invented so I can show my muscular legs to random 'females'". Whatever...
Load More Replies...Struggling to believe this one I'm afraid. Might be a steroid induced fantasy. Gyms are full of poseurs exposing their bodies, nothing odd about that.
I have my doubts about this being real but I'm pro men wearing booty shorts. Just had to explain to my son why the girls/women in my final fantasy game are wearing micro skirts and armor bikinis and high heals while fighting. I mean it's a pretty great game it's just missing guys in hot pants 😉.
The less the armor covers, the higher the defensive is.
Load More Replies...
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