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146 Water Jokes That Might Quench Your Thirst For Fun

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Remember the Why is water wet joke? Yup, the one that explains the very nature of H2O and gives an immersive experience into the world of liquids? The hilariously funny joke that squeezed some bodily waters (tears, we mean tears) out of you? Well, that very same joke has inspired us to comprise a whole list of water jokes and to share it with you, too! So, ready or not, the jokes about water are here.

So, water, right? Not the first thing that pops into your mind when thinking about hilarious jokes, we can bet. However, bearing in mind that like 90% of everything around us is actually made from water (the number is not scientific, we added like before it), that means that liquids are the basis of plenty of cool jokes. Well, at least in our minds, that is. However, we’re going to find out very soon if our thesis is any good because you’re about to read these funny water jokes and tell us what you think about them!

Now, our selection of water jokes is, as usual, a bit further down. Once you get there, be sure to vote for the best jokes on the list. And after that is all well and done, share this article with your friends who you think would benefit from a bit more water and entertainment in their day!

This post may include affiliate links.

#1

WIFE: “There’s trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor.”
HUSBAND: “Water in the carburetor? That’s ridiculous.”
WIFE: “I tell you the car has water in the carburetor.”
HUSBAND: “You don’t even know what a carburetor is. I’ll check it out. Where’s the car?”
WIFE: “In the pool.”

18points

Alexander Izzo 2 years ago

godamn

3points

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#2

RIP Boiled water… you will be mist.

16points

#3

Adele might set fire to rain… But SpongeBob can make a campfire under water.

16points

SA - 05LN 1011900 Briarwood PS 9 months ago

what?!

0points

#4

A man walks into a library and asks for a bottle of water.

The librarian says “this is a library!”.
The man whispers “sorry, a bottle of water, please”.

15points

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#5

What did the bottled water tell the spy?

The names bond, Hydrogen bond.

14points

#6

Did you ever hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?

Well, well, well.

14points

ReeAnn 8 months ago

That's a deep subject.

0points

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#7

That awkward moment when you pay $2 for Evian water and notice if spelled backwards you’re Naive.

14points

Alexander Izzo 2 years ago

omg never noticed that

1point

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#8

My friend keeps saying “Cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water.”

I know he means well.

14points

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#9

If you ever feel blue, try drinking a gallon of water before going to sleep.

That will give you a reason to get up in the morning.

14points

Kaden Guttierrez 1 year ago

i dont understand whats funny about it

1point

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#10

What do you call it when you get a month’s worth of rain at once?

England.

14points

#11

Why does water never laugh at jokes?

It isn’t a fan of dry humor.

13points

#12

How do you make holy water?

Make sure to boil the hell out of it.

13points

#13

What state does the Mississippi River flow in?

Liquid.

13points

#14

When does it rain money?

When there is “change” in the weather.

12points

#15

How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?

He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”

12points

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#16

In the future water will be like sarcasm.

No one will get it.

12points

shiny shinx 2 years ago

that got dark fast

2points

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#17

What did the sea say to the river?

You can run, but you can't tide.

12points

#18

Patient: Doctor, doctor, what's the best cure for water on the knee?

Doctor: A tap on the ankle.

12points

#19

Why should one be careful when it is raining cats and dogs?

Because they might step on a poodle.

12points

#20

How did the raindrop feel while receiving a gift?

It was on Cloud Nine.

12points

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#21

How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?

If you toss it in the water and it sinks, it’s a girl. If the ant floats, it’s a buoyant.

11points

#22

What did Snoop Dog need to get an umbrella?

Fo’ Drizzle.

11points

#23

What did an impatient pot of water say to the noodles?

Udon!?

11points

SA - 05LN 1011900 Briarwood PS 9 months ago

same

0points

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#24

All you have to know about celery is that it’s made up of 95% water, and it’s 100% not pizza.

11points

#25

What did the ocean tell his gym buddy?

He asked them to show him their mussels.

11points

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#26

What did I tell my friend who wanted to swim in a river in Ukraine?

It's Dnieper than you think.

11points

#27

If Smart water is so smart then how did it get bottled?

10points

Kaden Guttierrez 1 year ago

probably got bottled cause it cant move

0points

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#28

What is the best waterfall joke?

The one which does not have any downfalls.

10points

#29

What did the swan say before leaving the lake?

Aboat time.

10points

#30

I never believed water could freeze, but now icy.

10points

#31

What do you call a spy left to drown?

Pond. James Pond.

10points

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#32

The police just showed up at my house and arrested my bottle of water. They said he was wanted in 3 states. Solid, liquid, and gas.

10points

#33

A friend dug a hole in the garden and filled it with water.

I think he meant well.

9points

#34

What kind of rocks are never under water?

Dry ones!

9points

#35

H20 is water, but what is H204?

It’s for swimming and drinking, of course.

9points

Jeran Packard 1 month ago

And why tf do you drink hydrogen peroxide?

0points

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#36

Who carries out operations in water?

A sturgeon.

9points

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#37

There are two reasons why you should never drink toilet water.

Number one. And number two.

9points

shiny shinx 2 years ago

dogs: that sign won't stop me, because i can't read!

0points

#38

What did one ocean say to another?

Nothing, it just waved.

9points

#39

As raindrops say, two’s company, three’s a cloud.

9points

#40

Why did the ocean break up with the pond?

She thought he was too shallow.

9points

#41

Wanted to play water polo but couldn’t get the horses to swim.

9points

#42

What kind of hair did the ocean have?

Wavy!

9points

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#43

Who cleaned the bottom of the ocean?

A Mer-Maid.

9points

#44

Why were the student’s grades underwater?

They were all below C level.

9points

#45

If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.

9points

#46

A girl agreed to go out with me after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.

Schwepped her off her feet.

9points

#47

Why do male dogs float in water?

Because they’re good buoys.

9points

#48

Why does the river never get lost?

She always finds the right pathwave.

9points

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#49

What can you do if you are the ocean?

Waterver you want.

9points

#50

What did the beaver say after she slipped in water?

Dam it.

9points

#51

Why do sharks only swim in salt water?

Because pepper always makes them sneeze.

9points

#52

Why is a river an amazing roommate?

He just likes to go with the flow.

9points

#53

I asked my friend to name two places where you could store water.

He was stumped. “Well, dam.”

9points

#54

Why do poets always write about the sea?

They just can’t fathom her depths.

9points

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#55

How do you make a water bed more bouncy?

You use spring water.

9points

#56

Did you hear about the ocean and sea having a baby?

It was a buoy!

9points

#57

What do you get when you pour boiling water down a rabbit hole?

Hot cross bunnies.

9points

shiny shinx 2 years ago

thanks, i hate it

1point

#58

Just opened my water bill and my electricity bill at the same time.

I was shocked.

9points

#59

What do you call two days of rain in a row in Seattle?

The weekend.

9points

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#60

What do you call a wet teddy bear?

A drizzly bear.

9points

#61

What do you call a car focused on crossing the river?

Fjord Focus.

9points

#62

What did one stream say to the other?

Let's meet around the bend.

9points

#63

What happens when you get water on a table?

It becomes a pool table.

9points

#64

Is this a real life or is this just Fanta sea?

9points

shiny shinx 2 years ago

caught in a landslide, no escape from reality (also now i want to know what would happen if the sea actually is replaced with fanta)

2points

#65

I just heard a joke about a waterfall. It was a pour joke.

9points

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#66

I considered making a new brand of bottled water, but the market was too saturated.

9points

#67

My friend can't afford to pay his water bill.

I sent him a card saying "Get well, soon".

9points

#68

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Fish.
Fish who?
Bless you.

9points

#69

What do you call it when it rains ducks and geese?

Fowl weather.

9points

#70

Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube?

He couldn’t stream the video.

9points

#71

What did the newly married couple say when they found the bed they liked?

"Water bed!"

9points

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#72

Why should you not drink water during your exam preparation?

Because it can dilute your concentration.

9points

#73

What helps to build an ark when it rains?

To Noah guy.

9points

#74

Why is it always so noisy when there is an opera in the clouds?

Because there are too many thunderclaps.

9points

#75

How do you wrap a gift for a cloud?

Using a rain-bow.

9points

#76

What precedes raining candies?

Sprinkles.

9points

#77

What does a snowflake eat?

Icebergers.

9points

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#78

What would you find at the bottom of the ocean which often twitches?

A nervous wreck.

9points

#79

Why are oceans mostly salty?

Because when they wave, the land never waves back.

9points

#80

How are criminals in the ocean held accountable?

They are charged gill-ty.

9points

#81

What keeps the ocean intact and does not let the water leak out?

The seals.

9points

#82

In which section of the newspaper did the seaweed search for jobs?

Kelp wanted.

9points

#83

What would you call the citizens of Paris going for a bath in the river?

In-Seine.

9points

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#84

Why did the tourist decline the assertions of him being in Egypt?

Because he was in de-Nile.

9points

#85

What are tiny river tributaries in Cairo named?

Juve-Niles.

9points

#86

Have you heard that river joke?

It is a dam good one.

9points

#87

Why can the river not have a good memory anymore?

Because it has turned se-Nile.

9points

#88

What did the guide say to the tourists when she spotted a shoe in the river?

Beware of the crocs.

9points

#89

What do you call it when a prince falls into a well?

A roil mess.

9points

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#90

What do you call a water body that is polite?

Well-behaved.

9points

#91

Why did the woman not spend much time at the lake full of ducks?

Because she was not liking the bills.

9points

#92

Why are jokes on frozen lakes dangerous?

Because they might crack you up.

9points

#93

When Chuck Norris touches water, he doesn’t get wet.

The water gets Chuck Norrised.

9points

#94

On a flight, off on holiday. The cabin crew member asked what I wanted to drink.

“Water”.
“Still?”
“Well, I haven’t changed my mind…”

8points

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#95

Where can you find an ocean with no water?

On a map!

8points

#96

How do you get a pen across some water?

Biro-ing.

8points

#97

What runs, but never walks?

Water!

8points

#98

What do mermaids sleep on?

Water beds.

8points

#99

What do you get when you throw a billion books into the ocean?

A title wave!

8points

#100

Why do scuba divers fall backwards into the water?

Because if they fell forwards, they would still be in the boat.

8points

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#101

What happens if you throw a white hat into the Black Sea?

It gets wet!

8points

#102

The weatherman said it might get a bit drizzly outside.

You can expect a Lil’ Wayne.

8points

#103

Why are oceans so meticulous?

They like to be pacific.

8points

#104

Why is the ocean always on time?

She likes to stay current.

8points

#105

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?

Dam!

8points

#106

Why don’t you see a school in the ocean?

They just can’t wade through all that homework.

8points

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#107

What do you call a melted snowman?

Water.

8points

#108

Where do meteorologists like to drink after work?

In the closest ISOBAR.

8points

#109

What did the river say when it saw beavers for the first time?

“Well, I’ll be dammed.”

8points

#110

Where do fish keep their money?

In river banks.

8points

#111

What did the sink say to the tap?

You're a real drip.

8points

#112

What do you get if you cross a rabbit with a water hose?

Hare spray.

8points

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#113

What did the beach say to the wave?

Long tide, no sea.

8points

#114

What do you call a tooth in a glass full of water?

A one molar solution.

8points

#115

What do you call water that is good for you?

Well water.

8points

#116

What is a water marathon called?

A livestream.

8points

#117

What could possibly be the opposite of a waterfall?

A firefly.

8points

#118

How does a cloud invest?

Through liquid assets.

8points

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#119

What did the shark say when his friend was being shy?

Do not be koi with me.

8points

#120

What is the process of throwing money in the river called?

Cash flow.

8points

#121

Why do fishermen make good movie directors?

Because they have experience with reeling.

8points

#122

Every time I take a drink from a bottle, it keeps pouring back.

Must be spring water.

7points

#123

Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?

They dropped out of school!

7points

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#124

What keeps a dock floating above water?

Pier pressure.

7points

#125

Love watching running water on the internet.

Was watching a live stream.

7points

#126

Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Water.
Water who?
Water you waiting for? Open the door!

7points

#127

What did the sink say to the water faucet?

You’re a real drip.

7points

#128

What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?

Hail, of course!

7points

#129

Why did the lake date the river?

He heard that she had a bubbly personality.

7points

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#130

What is the ocean’s favorite lullaby?

Roe, Roe, Roe Your Boat.

7points

#131

Where do water droplets go to settle arguments?

The Supreme Quart.

7points

#132

Why are the Great Lakes running out of water?

Because Americans are drinking Canada Dry.

7points

#133

How did the crab cross the river?

He took a taxi crab.

7points

#134

What do you call dangerous precipitation?

A rain of terror.

7points

#135

What goes up when rain comes down?

An umbrella.

7points

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#136

Which rock does not like to swim underwater?

Hardrock.

7points

#137

How does the faucet work with all its intricate mechanisms?

The mechanism works in sink.

7points

#138

How did the boiled water pay for her new house?

With hydrogen bonds.

7points

#139

Why was the sky sad when it rained?

It used to get the blues.

7points

#140

Why were the two snowflakes best friends?

Because they stuck together.

7points

#141

Why did the ocean restaurant still keep going even after suffering losses?

Because it was serving the porpoise.

7points

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#142

What is the favorite subject of oceanic creatures?

Algae-bra.

7points

#143

Why do unique people not swim in the river?

Because it is too mainstream.

7points

#144

Why did the tourist like the landscape surrounding the river?

It was gorges.

7points

#145

Where do fish wash?

In a river basin.

6points

#146

Why do owls turn nonchalant during monsoons?

Because they are too wet to woo.

5points

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Viltė Domkutė

Viltė is a SEO List curator here at Bored Panda. She graduated in Applied Photography, so is no stranger to visual and artistic content. Despite her professional path, she also loves watching TV series, even could binge watch them all day long. Viltė also owns a pet crab at home, named Pūkis - Fluffy (spoiler alert: he's not fluffy at all).

Viltė is a SEO List curator here at Bored Panda. She graduated in Applied Photography, so is no stranger to visual and artistic content. Despite her professional path, she also loves watching TV series, even could binge watch them all day long. Viltė also owns a pet crab at home, named Pūkis - Fluffy (spoiler alert: he's not fluffy at all).

Justė Kairytė - Barkauskienė

Justė is a copywriter here at Bored Panda, and though her studies at the Veterinary Academy seemingly have nothing to do with writing, the passion for animals and nature helps in creating the most interesting and engaging posts. She also works with Search Engine Optimization, so you could find Bored Panda's articles easier. Justė's not only an avid equestrian, but she's also a walking encyclopedia. Ask her anything!

Justė is a copywriter here at Bored Panda, and though her studies at the Veterinary Academy seemingly have nothing to do with writing, the passion for animals and nature helps in creating the most interesting and engaging posts. She also works with Search Engine Optimization, so you could find Bored Panda's articles easier. Justė's not only an avid equestrian, but she's also a walking encyclopedia. Ask her anything!

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