Having a clear picture of one’s plans and feeling happy about them sometimes gets disturbed by a lack of understanding from one’s own parents, and one such common area of disagreement is the pressure to start a family possibly at the wrong time and no matter a person’s preferences.

At least such was this Redditor and his wife’s situation, until the man finally snapped, exemplifying the bad timing with a suggestion that the in-laws could pass down their daughter’s inheritance now instead of later.

More info: Reddit

Insistent parents kept ignoring their daughter’s plans regarding kids until her husband finally snapped

Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)

The woman planned to finish her Ph.D., get established in her career, and have a few years just for herself first

Image credits: Cool_Temperature_316

Image credits: RUT MIIT (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Cool_Temperature_316

The parents, on the other hand, were pressuring their daughter to simply have kids right away

Image credits: Mikhail Nilov (not the actual photo)

During Christmas the parents wouldn’t drop the topic until the woman’s husband cut in

A man brought it to the Reddit AITA community online after he confronted his wife’s parents who insisted on the couple having kids before they felt ready for it and suggested that they could then pass on her inheritance now instead of later.

The man explained that his wife’s parents have different plans for their daughter than she does regarding kids. The woman is finishing her Ph.D. and wants to get established in a career before starting a family, while her parents simply insist on her having kids right away.

The situation became even more intense when the family gathered together during Christmas and the woman’s parents wouldn’t drop the topic and would ignore what the couple wanted.

The man finally snapped, asking them to cover the costs that their daughter would lose or simply pass on their daughter’s inheritance now instead of later if they insist on their daughter having kids based on their preferences.

The woman’s parents ended up being very cold after Christmas and a big part of other family members sided with them, claiming that the man went too far with his response.

The man exemplified the cost of bad timing by encouraging his in-laws to pass on their daughter’s inheritance now instead of later

Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)

The woman’s parents ended up being very cold after the Christmas gathering and many relatives sided with them

Siv Gustavsson researched the relationship between education and postponement of motherhood in his study Having Kids Later: Economic Analyses For Industrialized Countries in light of the fact that the average timing when European women give birth to their first child is the latest in history. The researcher discussed the Netherlands as an example, where the average age of first-time mothers rose from 25 years old in 1970 to 29 years old by 2000 and increased after.

Gustavsson also added that college-educated American women postpone motherhood just like women from Europe; however, comparing average motherhood timing among all American women, the age of women having their first child was younger.

Based on the study partly due to increased demand for skilled labor since the mid-20th century, there has been an increase in the length of education in OECD countries, with both men and women spending much more of their young adult lives in full-time education, which in turn is an important factor in parenthood postponement among both women and men.  

The author discussed different aspects of motherhood timing and noted that otherwise similar women who had their first child at an earlier age, on average, earn less than women who had their first child later. Finally, he added that family-friendly environments either organized by companies or public policies may help alleviate the time squeeze, making parenthood and a job market career more compatible.  

Coming back to the original story, the man’s post gathered 7.4k upvotes on Reddit and people judged that he was not the jerk in this situation, in addition to suggesting that the woman’s parents should be reminded that it isn’t their decision to make.

What’s your take on the situation? Please, share your thoughts in the comment section below!

Redditors backed the man up for reminding the parents it isn’t their decision to make

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