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Wife Treats Husband Like A Punching Bag In Public, Plays The Victim When He Up And Leaves Her
10

Wife Treats Husband Like A Punching Bag In Public, Plays The Victim When He Up And Leaves Her

Wife Treats Husband Like A Punching Bag In Public, Plays The Victim When He Up And Leaves Her Internet Draws A Divorce Card After Man Leaves Insufferable Wife At Son’s Kindergarten PlayMan Up And Walks Out Of Kindergarten Play After Wife Just Wouldn’t Shut Up, Pays The PricePeople Urge Man To Reconsider His Marriage After Wife’s Stunt Makes Him Walk Out Of Son’s Play“AITAH For Walking Out Of My Son’s Kindergarten Play Because My Wife Wouldn’t Shut Up?”Internet Draws A Divorce Card After Wife's Tantrum Makes Man Leave Son’s Kindergarten PlayWife Mocks And Berates Husband During Kindergarten Play, Becomes The Victim When He Walks OutMan Asks If He’s A Jerk For Walking Out On Son’s Play Because Of Wife, Finds Support Online“She Thinks It Makes Her Look Cool”: Woman Furious At Husband For Walking Out On Son’s PlayDad Doesn’t Try To Stop Mom’s Rude Comments During Son’s Performance Anymore, Leaves Instead
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Concerts, plays, and even movie theaters have a certain etiquette. It mostly boils down to not being rude and not ruining the experience for other people. This mother, however, decided to ruin this kindergarten play for children and parents alike.

Her husband recently went online and shared the story of how she talked throughout the kids’ entire play. Having had enough, the dad then left the play before it ended, angering his wife even more. But he wanted to check with other netizens whether he was the bad guy in this situation.

A mother irritated her husband and other parents by talking throughout her son’s kindergarten play

Image credits: ashishk75 / Envato (not the actual photo)

Fed up and embarrassed by his wife’s behavior, the dad walked out of the play before it ended

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Image credits: Image-Source / Envato (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Beginning_Pizza2196

Disrespect has no place in a loving relationship

It’s no secret that to have a happy marriage, you have to put a lot of work into it. With the current divorce rates climbing higher and higher, few people seem to be willing to do the hard part. According to the APA estimations, 41% of first marriages might end in divorce.

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The author of this story writes how his wife regularly puts him down in front of other people. “She’ll often become aggressive, short-tempered, and will be incredibly rude towards me,” the Redditor wrote in his post. “I think she does it performatively because she thinks it makes her look cool.”

Disrespect in marriage is one reason why partners may drift apart. And it’s often not as simple as acting rude. Leadership coach Anne Duvaux writes that disrespect can manifest in one partner in the relationship feeling unappreciated and undervalued.

Disrespect can take the form of interrupting, belittling, and guilt-tripping a partner. It can take away trust between partners and cause resentment – in more serious cases, even abuse. “Disrespect, left unchecked, can become a toxic cycle, harming both partners and the fabric of the relationship,” Duvaux writes.

Experts say that passive-aggressiveness comes from insecurities and feeling powerless or inadequate. “Your spouse might display a victim mentality and operate out of a deep sense of insecurity,” Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott write. “Which helps them justify their devious methods of getting what they want. You might even notice that your spouse knocks you down in order to elevate themselves.”

Anne Duvaux claims that you need to clearly communicate to your partner that you’re feeling disrespected. Some people might not be aware they’re being disrespectful. Others, however, might thrive on making other people feel small. “Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself,” Duvaux writes.

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People can navigate living with a person who has narcissistic traits

Image credits: gpointstudio / Freepik (not the actual photo)

Many people in the comments called out the wife’s narcissistic and attention-seeking behavior. While many jumped to suggestions of separation and divorce, it’s possible to live with a person exhibiting narcissistic behaviors.

Dr. Ramani Durvasula, an author of several books about living with a narcissist, says that establishing clear boundaries is the first step. A person might say: “I will not be spoken to this way,” and if the spouse violates that boundary, just leave the room.

Removing yourself from the situation is also the right strategy during emotional outbursts. When the narcissistic spouse starts hurling hurtful insults, their partner doesn’t have to listen to it. “You are not a psychological punching bag,” Durvasula explains. “It is their responsibility to learn to regulate, and you are not their therapist. It’s not your responsibility to teach them.”

However, sometimes enough is enough. Mark Ettensohn, PsyD, the author of “Unmasking Narcissism: A Guide to Understanding the Narcissist in Your Life, recommends leaving at the first signs of violence, be it emotional, verbal, or physical.

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“Or if you feel strongly in your gut that the relationship is unhealthy and is likely to stay that way,” Ettenshohn says. This includes being isolated from friends and family, doubting your self-worth, being scared of your partner, not enjoying spending time with them, and feeling guilty when expressing your feelings and needs.

People called out the wife’s behavior as borderline abusive

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Many netizens didn’t think the dad was the bad guy here, but questioned why he married such a woman

Others pointed out that the victim here was the son and how harmful an example the dad is setting by taking his wife’s abuse

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Kornelija Viečaitė

Kornelija Viečaitė

Writer, BoredPanda staff

Read more »

Hi there, fellow pandas! As a person (over)educated both in social sciences and literature, I'm most interested in how we connect and behave online (and sometimes in real life too.) The human experience is weird, so I try my best to put its peculiarities in writing. As a person who grew up chronically online, I now try to marry two sides of myself: the one who knows too much about MySpace, and the one who can't settle and needs to see every corner of the world.

Read less »
Kornelija Viečaitė

Kornelija Viečaitė

Writer, BoredPanda staff

Hi there, fellow pandas! As a person (over)educated both in social sciences and literature, I'm most interested in how we connect and behave online (and sometimes in real life too.) The human experience is weird, so I try my best to put its peculiarities in writing. As a person who grew up chronically online, I now try to marry two sides of myself: the one who knows too much about MySpace, and the one who can't settle and needs to see every corner of the world.

Mindaugas Balčiauskas

Mindaugas Balčiauskas

Author, BoredPanda staff

Read more »

I'm a visual editor at Bored Panda. I kickstart my day with a mug of coffee bigger than my head, ready to tackle Photoshop. I navigate through the digital jungle with finesse, fueled by bamboo breaks and caffeine kicks. When the workday winds down, you might catch me devouring bamboo snacks while binging on the latest TV show, gaming or I could be out in nature, soaking up the tranquility and communing with my inner panda.

Read less »

Mindaugas Balčiauskas

Mindaugas Balčiauskas

Author, BoredPanda staff

I'm a visual editor at Bored Panda. I kickstart my day with a mug of coffee bigger than my head, ready to tackle Photoshop. I navigate through the digital jungle with finesse, fueled by bamboo breaks and caffeine kicks. When the workday winds down, you might catch me devouring bamboo snacks while binging on the latest TV show, gaming or I could be out in nature, soaking up the tranquility and communing with my inner panda.

Do you think the husband walking out of the play was an appropriate response?
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POST
Joelle Jansen
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This man sounds way too used to being loudly and publicly berated by his WIFE. This sounds like a DV situation (yes, verbal and emotional abuse count), and he should take his kid and leave ASAP.

Bart
Community Member
1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's the "I knew she would be taking it out on me eventually" that does it for me. Happened before and expecting it to happen again... Abuse comes in many forms...

Load More Replies...
FreeTheUnicorn
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Honestly, how can you justify keeping that woman I. Your child's life? "I knew she'd take it out on me eventually" Do you think that's healthy for your kid to witness? Do you think she doesn't take things out on him? She's awful and unfotbut you enable her everyday and that does nearly às much damage. Dont just keavr the play, keavr the marriage, sticj up for your son, otheteise its neglect. Leaving your child with a babysitter who is volitile, aggressive and mean is a sign of being errible parent. It's so much worse to give that type of person guardianship.

Aline
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

At some point parental instinct kicks and tells you to protect your child. This guy ignores that instinct everyday. This poor kid, no one has his back.

Load More Replies...
Manbug Franknbeans
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Jesus I couldn’t even finish reading this. This man is living in my hell and Claire sucks a butt.

MoMcB
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hope you get free. 12 years on, I can read them, but still give me a ball of ice in my stomach.

Load More Replies...
María Hermida
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Op, why do you put up with this? Why did you decide to have a child with such a piece of s**t? She's a horrible person, a horrible partner and a horrible mother who won't let her child fart without saying when, why and where. Run as fast as you can and take your child with you.

moggie63
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She was no doubt being sarcastic. But YES Claire, you are. This has clearly been going on for a long time and, to be honest, I'm not sure I could have restrained myself from giving her a swift backhander.

Load More Replies...
Sarah Ellison
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just gotta get zen, man. Water off a ducks back. She isn't embarrassing you, she's embarrassing herself. Everyone there is looking at HER, they realize it is HER that is behaving rudely. If necessary, apologize to the parents around you afterwards. Do it loudly so wife sees it. "I apologize for my wife's behaviour during the play. It was not acceptable." And when she pitches a fit and says "so I'm an embarrassment to the family??" You say "Yes, yes you are."

Bookworm
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If genders were reversed, there would be a lot less 'YTA for staying with her' and more 'OMG, here's the number for the domestic violence hotline!' Agree with the earlier comment that the key line is 'I knew she would take it out on me.' If you're conditioned to expect that every time your partner loses their temper, they'll turn it on you either physically or verbal/emotional, that's domestic abuse.

Ash
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I really, really, really hope he leaves. This woman has some serious mental problems.

Daniel
Community Member
6 days ago

This comment has been deleted.

Fox with a Dragon Tattoo
Community Member
3 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sorry this seems very fake. A lot of red flags that make me question the story.

Carol Borg
Community Member
1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Having grown up with a narcissist mother I know all too well the lasting effects of their abuse. She destroyed my dad just as your wife does you which in turn affected my relationship with him. There is so much at stake here. I urge you to go online and look up Narcisstic mothers. I learned the truth late in life, for the sake of you and your son please don't make excuses for her. Know that she will never change and make plans to get yourself and your son to safety.

Michael Joyce
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is likely Borderline Personality Disorder, maybe Overcontrolling BPD.

سارا ناز
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

this is so sad for him but most of all for this child! if you know this about her, why are you staying? Why did you have a child with such an ah? Please leave & set an example for your son & your own sanity! Don't tolerate poor behavior that borders on emotionally abusive. You are setting a bad example for your child! Take him & leave!

Yu Pan
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm glad Op "know Claire". Does Op also know she's abusive and a toxic and need to get away from her?

A S Mora
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sounds like my mother. Divorce her and let's hope your name is on the birth certificate so you have custody rights. That's how my mom trapped my dad.

Pyla
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She sounds like the typical narcissist: so insecure, but will flip the switch and make the world hail for you if you call them out on their bad behavior. She's the worst combination of insecure, critical, and has an out on her husband. I feel for the kid, she's relentless.

Vinnie
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had to look up "trauma bonding" - this page explains it in some detail. Some of those details sound familiar to me. https://crossroadsantigua.org/7-stages-of-trauma-bonding/

Trillian
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What an ill mannered b***h. She needs more people telling her to shut up and behave, not less.

StumblingThroughLife
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He's probably still there because it's often the mother that gets to keep the kids in a divorce if there is no proof of DV, committed by her, and I reckon she'd never let him see his son if he left her.

Gwyn
Community Member
1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why is he still with her? He needs to record some of these occurrences and then go to a divorce lawyer and get full custody. His cowardice makes him complicit in her abuse.

Joelle Jansen
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This man sounds way too used to being loudly and publicly berated by his WIFE. This sounds like a DV situation (yes, verbal and emotional abuse count), and he should take his kid and leave ASAP.

Bart
Community Member
1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's the "I knew she would be taking it out on me eventually" that does it for me. Happened before and expecting it to happen again... Abuse comes in many forms...

Load More Replies...
FreeTheUnicorn
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Honestly, how can you justify keeping that woman I. Your child's life? "I knew she'd take it out on me eventually" Do you think that's healthy for your kid to witness? Do you think she doesn't take things out on him? She's awful and unfotbut you enable her everyday and that does nearly às much damage. Dont just keavr the play, keavr the marriage, sticj up for your son, otheteise its neglect. Leaving your child with a babysitter who is volitile, aggressive and mean is a sign of being errible parent. It's so much worse to give that type of person guardianship.

Aline
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

At some point parental instinct kicks and tells you to protect your child. This guy ignores that instinct everyday. This poor kid, no one has his back.

Load More Replies...
Manbug Franknbeans
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Jesus I couldn’t even finish reading this. This man is living in my hell and Claire sucks a butt.

MoMcB
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hope you get free. 12 years on, I can read them, but still give me a ball of ice in my stomach.

Load More Replies...
María Hermida
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Op, why do you put up with this? Why did you decide to have a child with such a piece of s**t? She's a horrible person, a horrible partner and a horrible mother who won't let her child fart without saying when, why and where. Run as fast as you can and take your child with you.

moggie63
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She was no doubt being sarcastic. But YES Claire, you are. This has clearly been going on for a long time and, to be honest, I'm not sure I could have restrained myself from giving her a swift backhander.

Load More Replies...
Sarah Ellison
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just gotta get zen, man. Water off a ducks back. She isn't embarrassing you, she's embarrassing herself. Everyone there is looking at HER, they realize it is HER that is behaving rudely. If necessary, apologize to the parents around you afterwards. Do it loudly so wife sees it. "I apologize for my wife's behaviour during the play. It was not acceptable." And when she pitches a fit and says "so I'm an embarrassment to the family??" You say "Yes, yes you are."

Bookworm
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If genders were reversed, there would be a lot less 'YTA for staying with her' and more 'OMG, here's the number for the domestic violence hotline!' Agree with the earlier comment that the key line is 'I knew she would take it out on me.' If you're conditioned to expect that every time your partner loses their temper, they'll turn it on you either physically or verbal/emotional, that's domestic abuse.

Ash
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I really, really, really hope he leaves. This woman has some serious mental problems.

Daniel
Community Member
6 days ago

This comment has been deleted.

Fox with a Dragon Tattoo
Community Member
3 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sorry this seems very fake. A lot of red flags that make me question the story.

Carol Borg
Community Member
1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Having grown up with a narcissist mother I know all too well the lasting effects of their abuse. She destroyed my dad just as your wife does you which in turn affected my relationship with him. There is so much at stake here. I urge you to go online and look up Narcisstic mothers. I learned the truth late in life, for the sake of you and your son please don't make excuses for her. Know that she will never change and make plans to get yourself and your son to safety.

Michael Joyce
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is likely Borderline Personality Disorder, maybe Overcontrolling BPD.

سارا ناز
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

this is so sad for him but most of all for this child! if you know this about her, why are you staying? Why did you have a child with such an ah? Please leave & set an example for your son & your own sanity! Don't tolerate poor behavior that borders on emotionally abusive. You are setting a bad example for your child! Take him & leave!

Yu Pan
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm glad Op "know Claire". Does Op also know she's abusive and a toxic and need to get away from her?

A S Mora
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sounds like my mother. Divorce her and let's hope your name is on the birth certificate so you have custody rights. That's how my mom trapped my dad.

Pyla
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She sounds like the typical narcissist: so insecure, but will flip the switch and make the world hail for you if you call them out on their bad behavior. She's the worst combination of insecure, critical, and has an out on her husband. I feel for the kid, she's relentless.

Vinnie
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had to look up "trauma bonding" - this page explains it in some detail. Some of those details sound familiar to me. https://crossroadsantigua.org/7-stages-of-trauma-bonding/

Trillian
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What an ill mannered b***h. She needs more people telling her to shut up and behave, not less.

StumblingThroughLife
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He's probably still there because it's often the mother that gets to keep the kids in a divorce if there is no proof of DV, committed by her, and I reckon she'd never let him see his son if he left her.

Gwyn
Community Member
1 month ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why is he still with her? He needs to record some of these occurrences and then go to a divorce lawyer and get full custody. His cowardice makes him complicit in her abuse.

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