“Here’s The Life Advice Everyone Needs To Hear”: 90YOs Share 40 Things They Wish They Knew Earlier
It’s been said that advice is only worth what you pay for it, and it’s also true that nothing comes for free. When asking for tips on a particular situation, then, it’s a good idea to find someone who has gone through it before and can hence speak from experience.
With this in mind, X user Sahil Bloom had a smart idea. In the month leading up to his 32nd birthday, he reached out to senior citizens to ask them for one piece of advice they’d give to their 32-year-old selves. Bloom then took to X to list the top 40 pearls of wisdom he received.
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If something has a minor issue, repair it. Minor issues become major issues over time. Applies equally to love, friendships, health, and home.
Now and then, break out the fancy china and drink the good wine for no reason at all.
What's the point of having things you can't enjoy? Sometimes those things you're saving for a "special" occasion are what makes any occasion special.
With the pace of modern technology, social media, and more news channels than ever before, it’s easy to dismiss the elderly as being out of touch. However, one thing that shouldn’t be forgotten is the wealth of knowledge these senior citizens have racked up over their long lives.
A lot of their wisdom has been hard won over a lifetime of experiences. They’ve been through a vast number of failures and successes, positioning them particularly well to divulge the truths of a life well-lived and lessons learned the hard way.
Do one good deed every single day, but never tell anyone about it.
It's what my old mum used to tell me. She said if you do something kind, or nice, and you tell someone, it doesn't count.
Find the things that make your eyes light up. Do more of those.
It doesn’t have to be perfect for it to be wonderful.
Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good. If an action gets you moving in the right direction, do it. Or as a riding instructor once said, "First get the horse moving, then start to guide her."
A great deal of the advice in the X thread deals with things like avoiding regret, overcoming fear, improving the world for yourself and those around you, and seizing every day for all that it’s worth.
These fragments of wisdom are at once both thought-provoking and poignant and might have you questioning things. Topics dealt with include work, self-awareness, wellness, romance, and morality. One senior dispensed this gem: “Treat your body like a house you have to live in for another 70 years.”
Tell your partner you love them every night before falling asleep. Someday you’ll find the other side of the bed empty and wish you could.
My Mom and Dad were married for 58 years. Up until he retired, every single time he came home from work, my Mom would greet him, and they would do two smooches. Without fail, no matter what was going on or who was around. I always thought of it as one kiss was my Dad kissing my Mom, and the other was my Mom kissing my Dad. It was adorable.
Always remind yourself that your track record for making it through your bad days is perfect.
Treat your body like a house you have to live in for another 70 years.
Some people consider their body a temple but mine is more like a somewhat neglected Methodist youth center ~ Emo Phillips (paraphrased)
Bloom’s 40-point list is a virtual treasure trove of keen insights and hard-won advice. Having mined the minds of these senior citizens, he’s uncovered wisdom that younger generations would do well to pay attention to. A recurring theme seems to be that one shouldn’t sweat the small stuff; too much time and energy is wasted on things that don’t actually matter that much in the end.
Another topic that came up was to be intentional about the people you choose to surround yourself with; it’s best to be around friends and loved ones that lift you up and inspire. One further piece of advice on this was to, “Never let a good friendship atrophy. Send the text, make the call, plan the trip. Good friendships must be treasured.”
There’s nothing wrong with shedding old relationships as you grow and change.
Some people were never meant to be in your life forever. It's taken me time to accept that, but I accepted it.
Stop trying to change people who don’t want to be changed.
On experiencing the sheer joy of life, one senior said, “Laugh loudly and unapologetically whenever you feel like it.” This one rings so true; the world would be a better place with more laughter in it, don’t you agree?
Stubborn pride is the downfall of many men and women. Learn to forget the slight hurts and avoid grudges.
Don’t fear sadness, as it tends to sit right next to love.
Do one thing that challenges your mind every single day. A crossword puzzle, math problem, anything. Daily “exercise” will keep your mind sharp for the long haul.
Read instead of listening or watching, type instead of dictating. Use your own computer, your brain, instead of AI.
Time doesn't heal anything when it comes to relationships. Don't delay difficult conversations.
Turning to the elderly to find out what’s really important in life makes sense. Time is a teacher, after all. In an article for The New York Times, reporter John Leland writes that the population age 85 and up has been growing at five times the rate for the city as a whole, doubling since 1980 to about 150,000.
He goes on to say that a paradox of old age is that older people have a greater sense of well-being than younger ones - not because they’re unreservedly blissful, but because they accept a mixture of happiness and sadness in their lives, and leverage this mixture when events come their way. They waste less time on anger, stress and worry.
As Ping Wong, 90, put it: “When you’re young, the future is so far away, and you don’t know what will happen to you and the world. So when you’re young you have more worries than the elderly. But I don’t worry now.”
Never let a good friendship atrophy. Send the text, make the call, plan the trip. Good friendships must be treasured.
If your kid wants to dance in line at the store, join them.
The most damning lie you can tell is the lie you tell to yourself.
"This, above all, to thine own self be true. As surely follows the night the day, thou canst not be false to any man." William Shakespeare
You may occasionally disappoint others, but make sure to never disappoint yourself.
I know if I disappoint myself, I'll never let myself forget it! Years later, 3am, there I am reliving that disappointment for no good reason whatsoever and berating myself all over again!
Bored Panda reached out to the mentioned The New York Times Journalist John Leland for insights he gained after a spending a year with six people over the age of 85, a project that produced a book titled "Happiness is a choice you make: Lessons from a year amongst the oldest old." When asked about the most poignant piece of advice he'd received, Leland says, "I think the most important advice is the one encapsulated in the book's title. Whatever your age, life is going to happen to you, and sometimes it's going to be harsh. We can't control it. But we have some say in how we process it. Do we focus on the harshness or on, say, our resilience in facing it? We all know people who thrive despite serious problems in their lives, and we know people who are knocked sideways by tiny setbacks. Which way do you choose?"
Looking presentable is a matter of self-respect.
Clean your room, make your bed, dress like you know there will be a photo taken (whatever that means to you). Self care is a critical step to self confidence.
If there's something bothering you, ask yourself whether it will matter in one month. If not, let it go right now.
I read that if a worry isn't going to kill you in the next 2 minutes - then don't worry about it - not sure about this though.
Smile and say good morning to strangers on the street.
Getting old is no picnic, but it's much better than the alternative.
When we asked Leland whether or not it's difficult for younger generations to meaningfully connect with the elderly, he said, "Our society separates people, including by age. If you don't know any (or many) older adults, that's not your fault. And if talking to someone much older makes you uncomfortable --- or if you'd rather avoid it --- that attitude is baked into our culture and the daily messages we receive.
If it's raining on a warm summer evening, go outside and dance in it.
When prompted for one piece of advice he'd like to share with the readers about asking advice from the aged, Leland had this to say, "I'll paraphrase the avant garde filmmaker Jonas Mekas, who was in his 90's when I spent time with him. An interviewer asked him what advice he had for a young person who wanted to be a filmmaker. His answer was perfect: Get a camera! So that's it: just jump in. Don't worry if the conditions aren't perfect or you don't know what you're doing. If you want an answer, ask a question. Chances are that the older person will be glad to share the wisdom he or she learned from living a long time."
Have you ever asked the elderly for advice on a pressing issue in your life? Did you find it meaningful or valuable? Let us know in the comments!
Travel as much as you can. Collect one token from every trip to remember it by.
When in doubt, love. We can always use more love.
No amount of money is ever worth trading for your peace of mind.
When you meet someone, look them in the eye, give a firm handshake, and call them by their name.
Saying someone's name back when you meet them can help you remember their name.
If something isn't working and your gut tells you to try harder, first ask whether there's just an easier way to do it.
Laugh loudly and unapologetically whenever you feel like it.
Try that at a funeral and just see the dirty looks you'll get.
If you’re going to lose a fight, make sure the other person thinks twice before fighting you again.
There's a school of thought that this why humans are all homicidally insane - it's an evolutionary survival strategy from when we were in the middle of the food chain in the African veldt. A predator needs to be fit to predate, so a human doesn't have to *win* a fight with a lion, just be violently crazy enough to get a few good licks in - if enough lions get injured eating humans, they'll prey on something easier instead.
Taking no risk is the biggest risk you can take. Regret from inaction is always more painful than regret from action.
Only if you first do a thorough evaluation of the risks and possible damage involved if things do not go OK. Do not take foolish risks or risks just to impress your peers.
No one has ever argued their way to happiness.
Dance at weddings until your feet are sore.
Revel in other people's happiness. Celebrate the good times. Experience joy.
Whenever you hug someone, make sure they are the one to let go first.
In yoga, I usually pick someone about my skill level and use them for motivation. One night, it was the guy who can do a headstand forever, me, and the woman I was using for motivation. "I'm staying up until she drops." But after a while, I started wondering, "What if she's using me for motivation and is waiting for me to drop?" That broke my focus, I dropped and she came down with a 'whew' a split second later. Headstand guy carried on.
You may win the argument, but if you lose the friend, what was the point?
When you’re feeling down, smile at yourself in the mirror for a full minute.
Not to be a Debbie Downer or nuthin, but I kinda doubt a bunch of 90 year olds handed out generic life advice like "text them now before it's too late." This sounds contrived. Nice, but contrived. Good fortune cookie advice tho.
"We're out of "happiness with a new love."" "Open the "stick with your wife.""
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If a job is causing you to lose your sense of self and too much stress, leave it behind and find another for your own mental sanity. It's one of the best moves I ever made mentally--financially not so much, but I luckily have a great support group. I would have had a nervous breakdown if I hadn't left when I did.
Not to be a Debbie Downer or nuthin, but I kinda doubt a bunch of 90 year olds handed out generic life advice like "text them now before it's too late." This sounds contrived. Nice, but contrived. Good fortune cookie advice tho.
"We're out of "happiness with a new love."" "Open the "stick with your wife.""
Load More Replies... If a job is causing you to lose your sense of self and too much stress, leave it behind and find another for your own mental sanity. It's one of the best moves I ever made mentally--financially not so much, but I luckily have a great support group. I would have had a nervous breakdown if I hadn't left when I did.
