This is a very important post, I wish more people were interested about these things. Turns out, the "toxic positivity" ones are harmful mostly because they don't really say anything, those terms are all ambiguous and relative. Not real solutions.

I fall more into the toxic positivity box most of the time only cause I don't think about what I'm saying...this gives me a whole new perspective on how I talk now... validation and hope box here I come.

When it boils down to it, I think a lot of people say the "toxic positivity" phrases to make THEMSELVES feel less awkward, not to genuinely help the other person. We want the person's depression to "go away", but not in any way leave OUR comfort zone and genuinely make an effort to try to help them. And those two don't mix well.

So, this even has a name. My problem is from this spectrum. I often have these dark thoughts periods and even when I just think, I tend to look sad and grim. I've lost the count of the times someone asked me what was wrong and I responded "Nothing" quite snappishly, because no one likes being interrupted while thinking, you know. This makes the situation even worse. I just can't understand. Do they have such a perfect self-control over their face expressions when they've zoned off that they don't know the feeling? My grandma is one step worse. She always tells me to smile. If I'm not smiling(and really, I'm not into smiles. Especially when I have to spend time with her), then something must be wrong and she won't leave me alone. She's a real imposer of toxic positivity. It's one of the major reasons I hate spending time with her. The truly major one is that she can't possibly know what is like to be lost in thought, because I doubt she can even think.

"you got to be strong now" is probably the worst of all advices.

Validation and hope posters should be everywhere. I’m so sick and tired of this positive thinking BS. The worst ever is “think positive thoughts”. How about we celebrate just being human with different emotions. Positive thinking is not forced, it should come naturally when the brain is at a good state.

“What doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger” - is the most toxic one for me. Untrue, blind, inconsiderate towards yourself, cruel and blunt. Believed in it for some time in my life.

The just be happy and think happy thoughts and be positive gets said a lot to people with depression. What people don't understand about clinical depression is that our brains don't work the same. Telling someone with depression to just be happy is like telling telling a paraplegic to just get up and walk...if you just tried harder I know you could do it.

People with chonic illnesses hear these platitudes all the time, and it is maddening. My favorite is the unsolicited advice on things to try from people who obviously aren't educated about the basics of the other person's illness or symptoms.

I feel like quite often the toxic positivity things basically come down to 'I don't care that you're feeling bad, just stop complaining'. It's not helpful. It's nice that it has a name by the way, I never knew what to call those things, I think it having a name helps making people more conscious of it.

"Stay strong!" bugs the s**t out of me. What does that even mean? Shut up, quit complaining, get over it and stop making me feel uncomfortable? Better you than me? What?

When I have low confidence, I sometimes mention that I don't like myself. I'm always told, "Don't say that!" "Don't cry!" What if I need to? What if it's a release? I bottled it in for two years. I can't cry much anymore. I'm not okay because no one cared and told me to just be happy with things. To stop being so negative. Look on the bright side. They say I'm too emotional and they can't deal with it. How do they think I feel?

The fact you are arguing the difference between two variance degrees of positives when there is so much blatant negatives not being shown and are so more prevalent in our society today shows the bias of this entirely. I rather have a half a*s positive feeling thrown my way then a a purely toxic negative one.

I personally feel uncomfortable with "I believe in you": in my experience it can be tied to unrealistic expectations, and feelings of letting others as well as myself down if things don't go as well as planned.

Boss: Why are you often angry at work? Me: All these small jobs to do besides my real job are screwing up my work's quality and my private life, and as there is no solution in sight, I am a little frustrated. Boss: Just don't be frustrated! Your negativity is annoying. Me: OK, sorry and thank you for your help....

I talked to a "friend" who uses toxic positivity to try and make me feel "better" about the difference, and they just can't take it seriously, sometimes it's hard to get through to people like that, and not be toxic back.

A little nit-picky but to the author of the article, when you are putting something in quotes inside of a quote, use apostrophes.

Toxic Positivity is a Toxic and corny a*s buzzword.

This is amazing..! . . When you're feeling down and negative, someone telling you to snap out of it doesn't help.. especially if that person is the one you were hoping would lift you up.

An a*****e talked nasty things to me and told me that everything is in the mind. This is the ultimate toxic. Haha...

It's like hearing my mum talking to me...

Maybe you need to ask someone who has heard negative comments from the same person for YEARS, and has their own life & other adult children & grandchildren and does not want any more NEGATIVITY!!! What can I do??? What these negative talking people don't get is, day after day, week after week, year after year. What are the rest of us going to SAY.

this is great - but also - what I absolutely hate is when you are trying to tell someone something that you just want to get off your chest, you want acknowledgement of something painful that happened - to a loved one or friend and they refuse to listen to you and they just tell you "go see a therapist" BUT it was the therapist that told to reach out to family members or friends who would understand. It is a huge backfire. You can't trust everyone - even the ones you love. It is so easy for some people to just write you off - shut you out and I look at Toxic Positivity like that too.

The "toxic positivity" isn't meant to be negative. A lot of people just don't know the right words to say. We need to learn these things.

It was written many years ago but I find it just as relevant today as it was then - "Your Erroneous Zones" by Dr Wayne Dyer, which applies here very much. It totally changed my life! Unfortunately we lost Dr Dyer several years ago but if you'll check out this book, you'll find many of these issues well addressed. I hesitated to post my thoughts here on this but I sincerely believe it would help many people so here it is!

I don't think it's about giving up. It's more about re-prioritising and making new choices.

Lol she needs some patients.

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This is getting ridiculous, now positivity is toxic too? The ones on the the other side are worse, it's just pandering, not a solution, sometimes giving up is ok? What is your ideal outcome? For real? The ideal out come is to JUST BE HAPPY. giving up is NEVER ok. Fail all you want, that's ok, but just straight giving up is horrible advise. All vibes are welcome here? I get that "good vibes" is pretty douchey but all vibes are NOT welcome. "Toxic positivity" isnt ok but someone comes in with a negative attitude or serial killer vibe, nah, your good, all vibes welcome. Putting out good energy, who was this written by? Sunshine the hippy love child who sells healing crystals. Y'all are just lookin for s**t to complain about at this point