“Don’t Use Me To Parent Your Kids”: Man With Dwarfism Seeks Petty Revenge On Mother After She Calls Him One Of “Santa’s Elves”
InterviewIt’s always important for parents to teach their children that there are a wide variety of people on this planet. Kids should be educated on different cultures, different races and nationalities, people with physical and mental disabilities and more. Someone may look or act differently than you do, but we should celebrate their unique qualities, rather than respond to them with confusion or judgment. But, unfortunately, sometimes parents themselves could use a refresher on their manners and a reminder not to use people as props…
One man who has dwarfism recently hopped on Reddit to share his frustration with parents using him as a teaching tool. Below, you can read his full explanation of why this is wrong, as well as the story of a recent encounter he had with a mother where he responded with a sweet taste of “petty revenge”.
Keep reading to also find an interview between the man who shared this story and Bored Panda. Then, we would love to hear your thoughts on this topic in the comments, pandas. And if you’ve ever had strangers try to use you as a “parenting tool”, feel free to share your infuriating experiences with that as well!
Frustrated with parents trying to use him as a teaching tool, this man with dwarfism hopped online to share a tale of sweet, petty revenge
Image credits: Brett Sayles (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Leo Arslan (not the actual photo)
Image credits: KE ATLAS (not the actual photo)
Image credits: windmillto
The man later continued the conversation in the replies, answering further questions and responding to encounters readers have had
Parents just want what’s best for their children, and sometimes they have to come up with creative ways to resolve conflicts or motivate their little ones to behave. But pointing out a person with dwarfism and making up some lies about them to fit their own narrative is extremely problematic. There are countless other ways this mother could have gone about getting her son to listen to her that did not involve dragging an innocent stranger into their conversation and teaching her son that Little People are actually Santa’s elves.
We reached out to the man who shared this story online, Reddit user Windmillto, to hear how often he has encounters like this in public. Unfortunately, he told Bored Panda that parents attempt to use him as a teaching tool about once or twice a month, but apparently, he has an incredible amount of patience for people. “I’ve never personally responded to rude comments in public before that time, but my boyfriend sometimes does if he’s with me,” he shared. “He’s 6 foot 3, so once he told someone I donated some of my height to him.
“My mom, who is also short statured, is the queen of dealing with staring and rude comments,” he added.” She pretends she’s famous and offers pictures/autographs and pretends the rude people are just haters.” I guess a great sense of humor runs in the family!
We also asked Windmillto if there was anything he wanted to share with parents who treat him like this in public. “I understand that I look different, and I understand people being surprised or taken aback, but I’m still a person,” he shared. “How would you feel if someone acted that way towards you? Or your child? It’s hard to have empathy for every random person you encounter, but it’s important to try, especially if you’re being a role model to your kids in that moment.”
“Kids who stare and ask questions are fine,” Windmillto added. “Kids have never been anything but genuinely curious, they’ve never been outright rude. Adults, on the other hand… I guess it shows how much ableism is taught to us rather than us being born with it.”
Although this mother might not encounter people with dwarfism very often, that is absolutely no excuse for being rude or treating them differently. According to Understanding Dwarfism, there are about 30,000 people in the United States and about 651,700 people in the world who have dwarfism. There are also more than 200 different types of dwarfism. And while people like this woman have probably never considered the fact that they could one day have a child of their own with dwarfism, it’s never out of the realm of possibilities. In fact, 80% of people with dwarfism are born to average sized parents. It’s important for all of us to remember that no one, regardless of their height, race, age, etc. should be used as a prop for “mommy’s life lessons”, and as Windmillto noted, nobody likes to be treated differently.
Though this encounter began with a mother trying to teach her son a lesson, I hope it ended with the mom learning a lesson about her own behavior. We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation below, pandas. Have you ever had to respond to a stranger after they tried to use you as a teaching tool? Or how would you have reacted if you had been in this man’s situation? Remember that it’s always a great time to teach our children life lessons, but hopefully, the one Hunter learned here is that his mommy needs to keep her mouth shut sometimes.
Many people applauded the man for his “petty revenge” and shared some of their similar stories of their own
"Because the world would be very boring if everyone looked the same" was my go-to response when my kids were little and pointed out how someone looked different from them. It was the answer they needed because it never led to follow up questions.
I moved to Taiwan about 11 years ago. I’m a big hairy white guy with a very red beard. Some kids stare, but what gets me is when I’m in a elevator or something and it’s not the kids who usually comment. It’s the freaking parents. They tap on the kids shoulder, point, and say something about the foreigner (WaiGuoRen). The worst is whe they say that about my kids. They were both born here and are fluent in both English and Chinese (I have passable Chinese). I do enjoy correcting those parents in Chinese. Embarrasses the hell out of them.
My husband is a big hairy white dude. When he went to Japan, he stood out like a sore thumb. Problem was, he was on a student exchange program to learn to speak Japanese, but because of his appearance, all the students saw was "American" and would come up to him to practice their English. He finally made a deal with them...they say what they wanted to him in English and he would respond in Japanese. That way they each got what they wanted.
Load More Replies...And this is one reason why good representation matters. How many of these awkward situations be curtailed if kids grow up seeing different types of people in their picture books, children's TV shows, movies, etc.?
"Because the world would be very boring if everyone looked the same" was my go-to response when my kids were little and pointed out how someone looked different from them. It was the answer they needed because it never led to follow up questions.
I moved to Taiwan about 11 years ago. I’m a big hairy white guy with a very red beard. Some kids stare, but what gets me is when I’m in a elevator or something and it’s not the kids who usually comment. It’s the freaking parents. They tap on the kids shoulder, point, and say something about the foreigner (WaiGuoRen). The worst is whe they say that about my kids. They were both born here and are fluent in both English and Chinese (I have passable Chinese). I do enjoy correcting those parents in Chinese. Embarrasses the hell out of them.
My husband is a big hairy white dude. When he went to Japan, he stood out like a sore thumb. Problem was, he was on a student exchange program to learn to speak Japanese, but because of his appearance, all the students saw was "American" and would come up to him to practice their English. He finally made a deal with them...they say what they wanted to him in English and he would respond in Japanese. That way they each got what they wanted.
Load More Replies...And this is one reason why good representation matters. How many of these awkward situations be curtailed if kids grow up seeing different types of people in their picture books, children's TV shows, movies, etc.?
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