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Mom In Two Minds Over Son’s Idea To Enroll At University To Study Oncology, Vents Online

Mom In Two Minds Over Son’s Idea To Enroll At University To Study Oncology, Vents Online

Mom In Two Minds Over Son’s Idea To Enroll At University To Study Oncology, Vents OnlineMom Wonders Whether To Discourage Or Encourage Son From Med School Due To His Grades Not Matching UpMom Unsure Teen Son Could Perform Well In College Studying Oncology, Takes It Online To Vent Teen Wants To Study To Be An Oncologist, Mom Is Concerned Since His Grades Aren't The BestHigh Schooler Wants To Become An Oncologist, Mom In Two Minds Since He's Not A Brilliant StudentLady Muses If She Should Support Teen Son In His Med School Aspirations Over His Improper GradesTeen Wishes To Be An Oncologist, Mom Is Worried His Grades Won't Be Good EnoughMom In Two Minds Over Son’s Idea To Enroll At University To Study Oncology, Vents OnlineMom In Two Minds Over Son’s Idea To Enroll At University To Study Oncology, Vents OnlineMom In Two Minds Over Son’s Idea To Enroll At University To Study Oncology, Vents Online
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When we are just choosing our life path in our youth, we often have to make compromises: compromises caused by our learning ability, financial capabilities, and all sorts of other factors. But youth is different from any other age in that sometimes it doesn’t accept compromises…

Here is the user WorldMap24, the author of our story today, who also faced a similar case when she and her teen son began discussing options for his further education. In short, the boy dreams of becoming an oncologist, and his mom has serious doubts… no, not in her son himself, but in the various circumstances around this.

More info: Mumsnet

The author of the post is a mom of a high-schooler who is choosing his options for further education now, aspiring to become an oncologist

Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

However, the mom has some serious concerns about this path for her son’s education

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Image credits: WorldMap24

Image credits: Jeswin Thomas / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Firstly, the boy is a good student but his grades are still not that high, and secondly he doesn’t quite enjoy all of the disciplines required

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Image credits: WorldMap24

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Image credits: Andy Barbour / Pexels (not the actual photo)

And the last but not the least, the boy is a frequent fainter, so mom doubts he could cope with it while studying and then working

Image credits: WorldMap24

So the lady is in two minds on whether to dissuade the son or to encourage him to chase his dream

So, the Original Poster (OP) has a schooler son in year 11 (the author lives in the United Kingdom) and they are currently thinking about continuing his education next September, because the applications need to be in by the upcoming January.

And here the mom and son have a problem – the boy already announced several months ago that he wants to become an oncologist and, accordingly, go to medical school. The parents discussed other options of working in the National Health Service with him, such as dietician, physiologist and pharmacist, but the teen definitely wants to become a doctor.

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Well, the mother has some concerns about this. Firstly, her son’s grades – they are not as excellent as required. That is, the boy is a good student, but not brilliant. Secondly, for a medical career, you need to choose in-depth study of biology, chemistry and math. And of these three disciplines, the boy really enjoys biology only.

Finally, a medical education implies that a student will sooner or later encounter someone else’s blood and everything related. And the author’s son is a fainter, as the mother admits. For example, he tends to faint during injections. According to her, this is a family trait – the OP herself has noticed something similar in herself more than once.

So the woman is afraid that her son, faced with the harsh reality of medicine, will sooner or later retreat and, thus, lose precious time and resources. However, she’s also hesitant to dissuade her son from his dream (though she herself isn’t sure whether it is a dream or a short-term passion) – after all, it is the ability to dream that makes us human in many ways.

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Image credits: Racool_studio / Freepik (not the actual photo)

“In fact, many of us often have a problem with choosing our career path, and the choice made in early youth is not always the only right one,” says Volodymyr Nemertsalov, a school teacher and principal from Odessa, Ukraine, whom Bored Panda asked for a comment here. “That’s why I can easily understand the situation in this family.”

“In any case, if getting a degree here involves serious financial investments from the family, perhaps it’s worth thinking again about how ready this young man is to continue his education in this particular field. In the end, he will still be able to make up for the time, but he will hardly be able to make up for the money spent.”

“After all, medicine is an incredibly broad field, and there are plenty of specialties that are not directly related to the things that make him faint. In addition, there are specialists who can provide career guidance for a teenager. So if I were his mother, I would advise seeking professional advice. That would be the best thing,” Volodymyr concludes.

Folks’ opinions in the comments to the original post were also divided. Some believe that a passion for a chosen medical specialty can disappear as quickly and unexpectedly as it actually appeared. “Have a look at uni requirements for nurses, physios, nurse practitioners, etc,” someone aptly wrote. “There are plenty of non-medical NHS roles too.”

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Others sincerely believe that having a dream is cool and noble, and urge the mom to simply encourage her son in the chase for his dream. “He’ll have to adjust his plans if he doesn’t get the grades, but if it were my [children] I wouldn’t want him to feel unsupported,” another responder said. So which point of view do you, our dear readers, lean more towards?

The internet was very divided on this case: some folks suggest encouraging him to pick another healthcare specialty, but some just urge mom to support the son’s dreams

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Oleg Tarasenko

Oleg Tarasenko

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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After many years of working as sports journalist and trivia game author and host in Ukraine I joined Bored Panda as a content creator. I do love writing stories and I sincerely believe - there's no dull plots at all. Like a great Italian composer Joaquino Rossini once told: "Give me a police protocol - and I'll make an opera out of it!"

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Oleg Tarasenko

Oleg Tarasenko

Writer, BoredPanda staff

After many years of working as sports journalist and trivia game author and host in Ukraine I joined Bored Panda as a content creator. I do love writing stories and I sincerely believe - there's no dull plots at all. Like a great Italian composer Joaquino Rossini once told: "Give me a police protocol - and I'll make an opera out of it!"

Denis Krotovas

Denis Krotovas

Author, BoredPanda staff

Read more »

I am a Visual Editor at Bored Panda. While studying at Vilnius Tech University, I learned how to use Photoshop and decided to continue mastering it at Bored Panda. I am interested in learning UI/UX design and creating unique designs for apps, games and websites. On my spare time, I enjoy playing video and board games, watching TV shows and movies and reading funny posts on the internet.

Read less »

Denis Krotovas

Denis Krotovas

Author, BoredPanda staff

I am a Visual Editor at Bored Panda. While studying at Vilnius Tech University, I learned how to use Photoshop and decided to continue mastering it at Bored Panda. I am interested in learning UI/UX design and creating unique designs for apps, games and websites. On my spare time, I enjoy playing video and board games, watching TV shows and movies and reading funny posts on the internet.

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Ace
Community Member
1 day ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

By choosing those subjects for A level (which is what University admission is based on) he is not really limiting himself to studying medicine, pretty much any STEM subject would be open to him. If he does get in, then the particular speciality he chooses need not be determined until a few years (5?) down the line, and it's worth noting that a lot of first and second year medical courses overlap with other life sciences, like pharmacology (which is what my wife did, sharing several courses with the medics) so even if he changes his mind after the first year, and many do, he's still likely to be able to switch to a related course. Plus, I personally have worked with hundreds of doctors who chose, once qualified to embark on careers in research rather than just sticking to actually treating patients. So I'd say encourage him all the way. even if he doesn't achieve his current objective it's a worthwhile step in the right direction.

Ms.GB
Community Member
1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Totally agree, there are so many options open to him with STEM courses besides Dr. that he may not have even considered. Part of Uni is finding out what career fit is best for you.

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Jonas Fisher
Community Member
10 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Here's the thing: Is it more important for a kid to feel supported or to be supported? Often, those can and will be the same thing; however, in this situation, they are not necessarily the same. Actual support would mean helping him understand his limitations and find a way to set goals that are achievable. I teach high school and have to help students who get Bs but want to apply only to Ivy League schools.

Captain Grump
Community Member
4 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think there's a way to be supportive, but inject realism. Supportive takes the form of "Whatever you set your mind and efforts to, I have no doubt you can achieve, and I will do anything to help you in that." Balance that with realism: "Your marks will not get you accepted to the program you want, so you probably need a strategy to get those marks higher. Do you have a plan for that?" I'm not a fan of deciding that teenagers have limitations of ability, but think it's fair game to let them know when they have limitations of strategy or effort. (Yes, I know some kids will never be able to get A's in math, but I fear too many of them aren't shown paths to achieve that.).

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Ace
Community Member
1 day ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

By choosing those subjects for A level (which is what University admission is based on) he is not really limiting himself to studying medicine, pretty much any STEM subject would be open to him. If he does get in, then the particular speciality he chooses need not be determined until a few years (5?) down the line, and it's worth noting that a lot of first and second year medical courses overlap with other life sciences, like pharmacology (which is what my wife did, sharing several courses with the medics) so even if he changes his mind after the first year, and many do, he's still likely to be able to switch to a related course. Plus, I personally have worked with hundreds of doctors who chose, once qualified to embark on careers in research rather than just sticking to actually treating patients. So I'd say encourage him all the way. even if he doesn't achieve his current objective it's a worthwhile step in the right direction.

Ms.GB
Community Member
1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Totally agree, there are so many options open to him with STEM courses besides Dr. that he may not have even considered. Part of Uni is finding out what career fit is best for you.

Load More Replies...
Jonas Fisher
Community Member
10 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Here's the thing: Is it more important for a kid to feel supported or to be supported? Often, those can and will be the same thing; however, in this situation, they are not necessarily the same. Actual support would mean helping him understand his limitations and find a way to set goals that are achievable. I teach high school and have to help students who get Bs but want to apply only to Ivy League schools.

Captain Grump
Community Member
4 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think there's a way to be supportive, but inject realism. Supportive takes the form of "Whatever you set your mind and efforts to, I have no doubt you can achieve, and I will do anything to help you in that." Balance that with realism: "Your marks will not get you accepted to the program you want, so you probably need a strategy to get those marks higher. Do you have a plan for that?" I'm not a fan of deciding that teenagers have limitations of ability, but think it's fair game to let them know when they have limitations of strategy or effort. (Yes, I know some kids will never be able to get A's in math, but I fear too many of them aren't shown paths to achieve that.).

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