Honestly, I think the biggest problem (that many seem to be overlooking or ignoring) is that: Kate was holding a drink while trying on a wedding dress that wasn't hers, knowing full well that she had a history of seizures. Even if she hadn't had a history of seizures, she shouldn't have been holding a drink while trying on a wedding dress that wasn't hers. Anything that can potentially stain a dress shouldn't ever be anywhere near a wedding dress (especially if it isn't yours); food, drink, paint, etc. It's weird that the mom wanted Kate to try on the dress; why not ask her own daughter to try on the dress? I understand that the OP has hard feelings against Kate and feels like she's being pushed aside, and this incident has spoiled her feelings towards the dress. She wanted something special just between her and her mother... and that was ruined. I think her calling it 'creepy' was just her struggling to find the words to express her feelings about it.

Surprised that your SIL gets a pass from some of these comments. Your SIL was already married so she already knows how she looks in a wedding dress. So there was no reason to try it on. 2nd she's not a 3 year old, trying it on with food of any kind is just so irresponsible, seizure or no seizure. You are the bride to be she's not. Too much emphasis is placed on the seizure quite frankly. She tried it on with a drink in her hand BEFORE the seizure. She's to blame. That dress on your wedding day would've given you memories of your mum on her wedding day. It's more than a piece of clothing. Your SIL' s irresponsible act destroyed it. Yes it's your mums dress but YOU are her daughter to whom she wants to gift it to not the SIL. NTA. Your disinvite is warranted.

The mom and SIL are rude and inappropriate. Bottom line.

I can't imagine what her mother was thinking? Taking photos of Kate in the dress before her daughter actually wore it at her wedding. So her daughter didn't get to have special photos in her mom's dress. It's hardly special if everyone does it first. This would have made me mad at my mom if the dress wasn't ruined. She has pictures of Kate in Kate's wedding dress. Idk why she had to spoil it for her daughter. Her mom is all to blame and Kate either has no self awareness or enjoys doing things to aggravate her Sil.

No it's really weird that a person who has seizures is holding a smoothy and trying on a wedding dress they didn't want for there own wedding she knew what she was doing it's sounds like the movie orphan to me tryna knock off the real kids and the mom is dumb a*s rocks she's weird and empty headed for that my a*s sister has seizures and wouldn't be holding nothing especially while trying on a wedding dress no one would do that they better see if she has medical proof of these seizures some people are possessive and weird and will do anything to stick there claws in even need up and mother and daughter relationship

The AH's are: OP's brother. Where is he in all of this his wife is causing problems. The mom: she sounds stupid and repulsive quite frankly. A parents favorite children should be her own. We are only hearing about these few incidents. If the mom is, as dad states, socially awkward and has never had friends, then there would have been all kinds of situations over the years especially when the OP and her brother were in school. And aren't we all a little socially awkward? As a mom it doesn't matter how old your children are - you're still the parent. This mom is a repulsive parent of whom people are making excuses for. Yuck. The biggest AH. Kate: when you have a seizure disorder why are you drinking a smoothie while trying on a very special dress? And find your own friends. And read the room. The dad: telling his daughter about her wedding dress- "just let it go. Your mom is like that."

I am quite cynical, but why would you have a smoothie near someone's wedding dress? That seems like it was an intentional " accident".

I don't understand this... how does one try on any clothes with a drink in their hand? You spill in a store you buy that garment. I would say eff all the wedding plans and get hitched in Vegas or something, screw everyone. I got married on a mountain top with my dad, FIL, aand a couple of friends. Mom, MIL and step mom weren't invited due to known drama outbursts. My step mom is the chillest but didn't invite due to drama of "being left out"

OP said that Kate rarely has seizures so what a freak accident this was to happen. Her to have a seizure whilst trying on the wedding dress and having a smoothie. What I think happened was she tried on the dress, spilled the smoothie on the dress. The seizure is just an excuse just to look innocent here.

The wierd thing here is mother's wish to see another woman in her daughter's wedding dress. It looks like she loves that other woman more than her own daughter. Like she subconsciously wants to replace her daughter with that other. Really creepy! I am a mother and I cannot imagine how can someone love other man/woman more than their own flesh and blood. If I were in bride's place I would uninvite from wedding both mother and "Kate" and choose another wedding dress just like my mother replaced me with another "daughter". Their behaviour is a huge red flag for the future. Kate is as fault as the mother because she agreed to go with it and honestly I don't believe in the story where someone tries on a white dress with a liquid near it. It's look like they conspired to ruin the dress just to prevent the bride to wear it on her wedding day. Really mean and vicious!

Op has a problem with both of them I don't understand why no one sees that, imo op isn't TA the other two are for not thinking ahead of time about the in laws medical condition and what could happen with the smoothie, both of them seems to be disregarding ops feelings and the mom needs to show op that she doesn't like the dil more than her in stead of crying and saying she doesn't.

Buy a new dress

Nobody knows why kate was holding the drink. It's possible the mother handed her her drink while she was adjusting the dress. Everybody seems to be blowing this way out of proportion with way too little information.

Seems really fishy to me that she "accidently " spills a drink on the dress while she was trying it on. Then all of a sudden, she has an epileptic fit. Very convenient for her...??? Buy a different dress but say nothing to anyone about it. Maybe her and your mom can bond together when you uninvite mom. Because since she is her favorite let them go somewhere other than the wedding. What does your groom say?

Okay, I can understand she had a seizure and its' not her fault she has epilepsia, I can almost understand trying on a dress to take pictures(doubtful decision, but ok), but what I can't understand - how the f**k did the smoothie get there? If you are wearing other people's clothes, let alone a wedding dress, you need to stay away from everything that can damage it - drinks, oil, paint. This part doesn't sound like an accident at all.

Honestly I'm really taken back but just overall fact the mom wanted how pretty the SIL was in the dress and wanted to take photos. Because it's not her wedding, it's not her mom.That takes away from the daughters own wedding photos. And the special meaning of saving her dress for kid. Like image she didn't ruin the dress and mom saved photos of SIL on her phone. I'd be pretty upset. Plus you can't tell me if someone is wearing your wedding dress taking photos and drinking ( probably wine because everything else comes out) with your mom and your not around. They probably talking s**t about you. It's not her fault she had seizure. But she & your mom crossed you way before ruining the dress.

Why would you hold a drink when trying on a dress "just to take photos"? Did I miss something and is a smoothie the new champagne?

This is one of those are you, are you not situations. Yes because I don't think uninviting her was the way to go especially since it was your mother who really is at fault here. And No because I damn sure I wouldn't like someone putting on my wedding dress and have photos taken BEFORE I got to wear it. SO my solution would have been to get another dress, one of your very own instead of uninviting her. I know that is not the cheaper option and may be hard to do but this way you get your own peace of mind that it is YOUR dress, your control on it. Plus who the hell wants photos of your SIL wearing your wedding dress....matchy matchy "wedding" photos...weird as F...

I think the OP is the one that is possessive of her mom. After all, her SIL is now her mom's daughter too and you can love all of your children equally. And, if her mom likes SIL so much more why didn't she give her the wedding dress? Sounds more like she was saving it for her "real" daughter. Then when she realized she'd never see this prized treasure on her SIL she wanted to take a quick picture. As for the SIL it's kind of an AH move to drink ANYTHING while trying on a wedding dress someone else is going to wear. But, it wasn't malicious if the story is true. I don't think the mother or SIL are AHs here and I think OP is clearly jealous if the bind those two have, is being petty about it, and is taking it out her jealousy and issues with her mom giving love and attention to someone else out on her SIL. She is being a Psycho. If the dress comes back clean then who cares. No harm no foul.

I agree with the commenter that she should buy her own dress. Mom will no doubt feel hurt, but as she'd pointed out, 'her dress', her rules. Holding a smoothie while wearing it was thoughtless. Put. Down. The. Drink. I'm proof that you don't have to be epileptic to spill on yourself. Weddings are emotional times, though. My SiL wasn't happy that she had to invite me or my other SiL, but as both our husbands/her sibs were in the wedding party... lowbrowing it a tad, especially making sure we were seated so far from the wedding table we were nearly outside. And neither of us had done anything to her clothes!

I don't get why she's so upset. The dress is going to be professionally cleaned at no cost to her. Sounds like OP has mommy issues, doesn't like SIL and is looking for a reason to be angry and play victim.

She should have refused to try the dress on. Your mother could have waited for you to come over and took pics of YOU wearing her dress. And who holds a smoothie when trying on clothes. I would go buy the dress of my dreams and ban both of them because clearly your mom is replacing you with becky.You should feed them both with a long handled spoon.

As many people pointed out, it might be deliberate. I mean, sure, maybe SIL accidentally knocked smoothie off the table while having seizure, but it still does not explain, why was smoothie anywhere near wedding dress. Sounds like there is more issues than just damaged dress.

when oh when will bp stop with the wedding-themed aita posts

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

There are seriously way too many "look at me" issues with brides in weddings These days, what is going on? Personally, I would easily have made the same mistake with the dress if I was in mum's or Kate's shoes because it just would never occur to me that there would be an issue given mum owns the dress and Kate was asked by mum to try it on in a private moment as a bit of fun. In the shoes of the bride, I would really have just taken that at face value, shrugged and got on with my life planning the wedding. People aren't always out to upstage you or be nasty sometimes life and choices dont revolve around you at all.

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Was the dress cleaned? Did any stains remain? If it was cleaned I don't see what the problem is.

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Only creepy part is you and you thinking someone putting on an item of clothing is creepy. Newsflash, every item you've probably bought at a store has most likely had someone else try it on. Why are some brides such insufferable c***s.