50 People Who Had Someone Else’s Back Online And Did It In The Most Wholesome Way (New Pics)
InterviewIt can be satisfying to see a niche thing you love – a book, a band, an artist – become popular in the mainstream. Yet it can also be upsetting. You root for their success for so long, but once everybody knows about them, it doesn't feel as special. That's gatekeeping, the grown-up cousin of "You can't sit with us."
But there is a community that doesn't gatekeep: the Gates Open, Come In subreddit. It's where people invite each other to like and enjoy stuff others might tell them is inappropriate or uncool, and generally have each other's backs. Like the kids say these days, "In the clurb, we all fam."
Bored Panda got in touch with one of the community's moderators, u/Merari01, and they kindly agreed to tell us more about the subreddit. Read our short chat with them below!
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If Anybody Has A Problem With That I'm Going To Let It Go
u/Merari01 told us that the theme of the subreddit drew them to become one of the moderators for the community. "The internet can be a negative place, full of angry people and content, which in some form makes people feel excluded," they told us via a message. "This subreddit is positive, inclusive, and shows a welcoming atmosphere."
The Redditor believes that people want their feeds to have more positivity. "Having a space that is explicitly inclusionary resonates with a lot of them," the netizen added. While moderating the subreddit's comment section can sometimes be challenging when members get into petty arguments, u/Merari01 is pretty happy with the job overall. "It's a fun space to be in, so, it's not a real challenge."
Inclusion
Dogs And Cats My Favorite Animals
We can gatekeep many things: the recipe for our favorite pasta, where we bought our fabulous shoes, our favorite sports teams, and many other things. In 2022, Vogue actually chose "gatekeep" as the word of the year. What, according to them, used to mean institutions or people withholding power now means not sharing information or access to something.
On TikTok, not gatekeeping means sharing where you got that sweater from and how much your tickets to see Taylor Swift cost. But Vogue writes that this is slightly ironic: if anything, the app made information and the world itself more accessible than ever. "Want to find out where a media-only fashion party or sample sale preview is taking place? You can probably hunt down the invite on TikTok."
Finally Someone Who Gets It!
Happy Lunar Year Everyone
Someone with authority setting an example for self-styled dictators. Bravo.
This One Was Nice
Licensed psychologist and lecturer on the psychology of metal and punk rock Steve Byrne explains that social psychologists have observed our tendency to divide into groups. We make friends with people who have similar interests and outlooks on life, and we align ourselves against those who are different.
Byrne points to the Robbers Cave experiment, carried out in the 1950s. In it, social psychologist Muzafer Sherif studied 22 boys who, during the experiment, divided themselves into in and out-groups. It reflected the most basic truth that we divide ourselves according to many things: political beliefs, likes and dislikes, and even for the benefit of our own social standing.
Everything Turned Out Just Fine, Then
Struggle Has No Inherent Value
Literally The Gate Was Open
Byrne writes that it's natural for us to see those who are different from us as a threat. Then we want to appear stronger, more sophisticated, and cooler in front of them. And that's where gatekeeping comes in. In essence, we gatekeep because we're insecure. Putting others down is one of the ways we cope with insecurities. "At least we're not as bad as them," we comfort ourselves.
It's Never Too Late
Mentally Empathetic Dad
Brooklyn Librarians Subverting Censorship & Allowing Any Teenager In America To Have A Library Card
In my town there's a new library with a room with access to free wifi, coding programs, a 3-d printer, and of course e-books, books, C-ds, and audiobooks. There's also a genealogy center so you can trace your heritage and a teen room with games and crafts. There's also private study rooms, and conference rooms, and there's classes for everything imaginable. And it's all free with a library card!
Perhaps now more than ever, division into insiders and outsiders is hurting us all around the world. Byrne suggests that some political leaders thrive on sowing division with the "us against them" mentality. In reality, there must be very little that's actually different about us.
What An Adorable Man Doing Such A Lovely Thing ❤️😍🥰
Amigurumi in this size and complexity takes a lot of time. This man is not only thoughtful and kind but also really skilled.
It Got A Little Aggressive, But I Like The Message
I'm Indian and 100% approve of this message. Culture is something to be shared, no kept exclusive.
For The Waiters
The above reason plus I used to work the same type of jobs and know how hard it can be.
"Those who are seemingly kept out by these gatekeepers might be seeing the gate as some hulking castle drawbridge, sealed up tight and ready to defend a kingdom against marauders when it’s really just a broken garden fence, easily stepped over," Byrne writes.
Just Let Them Be They
Stress Relief
I really thought that as a grown a*s adult I wouldn't encounter this so much anymore. LET PEOPLE LIKE THINGS. It doesn't mean it has to become your obsession - you can still enjoy something just for what it is.
Friendly Incentive
Interestingly, some people see gatekeeping as a good thing. In an article for The Cut, Ann Friedman suggests that some communities gatekeep to preserve their culture. She writes about Anthony Bourdain worrying about sending tourist masses to mom-and-pop restaurants, as well as Black creators feeling conflicted when white creators use their aesthetics, language, and memes and calling it appropriation.
Every Job Is Valid!
I went to an expensive private school and can tell you for a fact that quite a few of the other kids ultimately went to trade school instead of university. And are now gainfully employed. (Ironically, I got three degrees and am currently... not employed).
Shout Out To The Solo Eaters
I don’t understand how people don’t do what they want to do because they don’t have someone to do it with. They lose so much.
Emotional Rollercoaster! (Pls Remove If Posted Before)
*Hoping the neighbours don't notice the suspiciously green patches *
Kelly Elizabeth Wright, a lexicographer with the American Dialect Society, explained that gatekeeping in this context gives minorities back that little bit of power they lose in this age of vast media consumption. "You could be making a piece of content that is for other Black people or for your community, but then it's public or it gets algorithmically exposed. There is less control in the way social media is surfaced and served to people."
Luke Skywalker Makes Young Star Wars Fan Feel Loved
Depression Gateopening
People at work wouldn't think I have MDD. It's easy to hide while others are around. It's when I'm home by myself that it comes to the fore. This is a perception that needs to change.
During the time my depression hit the hardest, I worked two to four nights a week in a bar. However banged up I was, I left my problems at the doorstep and put on a smile to give those folks a good time, because that's what you're going out for (as a patron). When I came back home and got into bed, alone and in the dark and quiet... that's the part I don't want to remember. That's when everything came back. /edit: I've been better since then though and I have an amazing therapist who's doing their best to further improve this 😊
Load More Replies...I have really, really bad depression. It usually doesn’t manifest as sadness. Normally, I’m just… exhausted, physically and mentally. It’s hard to find energy or joy. For me especially, it makes it a lot harder to both understand and express emotions.
That's how I feel right now. I'm not SAD, but mentally and physically, I'm so tired, so numb, so dead inside. I might laugh at the right moments, and have a conversation with someone about something funny and smile, but I'm just going through the motions. I don't want to cry, or scream, or throw things. I just want to sit in my chair, read stupid shịt, and be left alone.
Load More Replies...Partly due to how I am, I've always said that those who laugh the loudest and try to make sure everyone else is having a good time, is usually the saddest. Just because I have it together in public doesn't mean I'm not slowly swirling the toilet bowl, ok?
I can't watch Robin Williams movies any more. The pain is too close to the surface, and I see it too clearly.
Load More Replies...I missed my calling as an actor, had depression for around 2 years now and no one knows, not my wife, kids or family. I told my wife when I was first told by a doctor and she dismissed it as nothing as serious as that. Still together but wait until the kids are older, I'm gone
I feel for you, brother. My wife couldn’t understand at first. Then she thought it was her fault. Ten years on, she finally gets it. It’s difficult to empathise with a depressive. The best we can hope for is support. I know how lucky I am to have that. I get encouraged to seek help when I think (incorrectly) that I don’t want it. I hope for you that you find your support.
Load More Replies...Exactly. Depression manifests itself in different ways for different people.
I stayed in bed for 14 hours yesterday to today. Back to work tomorrow! At least it’ll be distracting.
Load More Replies...This is me. When I tell people I suffer from chronic low grade depression they think I am making sh*t up for attention. Why, because I talk alot and am friendly to my customers.
Been there, done that. I am better now, but still have bad days sometimes, but then, we all do.
Oh, this. "Onstage Face". It takes a certain kind of courage and fortitude that honestly, not everyone has.
Recently, my depression has been so bad that my hair is turning white, I've lost 10 pounds, and I was writing out the note. I still go into work every day and put on a mask before coming home to dissociate for a few hours before sleeping. It's terrifying.
The love of my life broke up with me at the end of last year, and this year has been a living nightmare for me. I have been more depressed and lonely than I have ever been, but I don't show it around others. You never know what people are going through, sometimes they can mask their troubles well.
That's His Whole Thing
Sirena Bergman writes for Business Insider that the boom in tourism in Hawaii during the pandemic caused native Hawaiians and Pacific Islanders to "gatekeep" the state. The natives talked about the rise of COVID-19 cases and the environmental impacts of tourism and asked people not to travel there, but still faced backlash.
You're Not A Machine. You're Garden
Moms,,,/-
I would have been able to finish the butter if they hadn't ganged up on me
You Don't Have To Be Good At Something To Enjoy Doing It
I need more upvotes to give. When I was younger, so many things I enjoyed were ruined by other people's negative reactions. We're not all born being perfect at everything. Let others enjoy. Let them learn. Don't be a d*ck.
That's how "gatebreaking" came to TikTok, the opposite of gatekeeping. The idea is that there should be no barriers to information, expertise, places, or knowledge. But Bergman observes that there's more nuance to this problem. While being against gatekeeping is, in essence, standing against inequality, it's alright for some people to sometimes stay on the fringes of certain spaces.
Pls Info Dump On Me I Love It
I always start off so excited to share my nerd sh*t and then get self-conscious that nobody probably wants to hear it and I don't want to be "that guy" so I taper off. It makes me sad though.
Slow Down
Drink What You Like!!!
However, in most cases, the old cliche "sharing is caring" might just be true. Sharing information, access, knowledge, and just genuinely having each other's backs. If this wholesome list is right up your alley, Pandas, check out the previous ones that we've done about the "Gates Open, Come On In" community here and here!
Words To Live By
"Be kinder than necessary. Everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."
Good Parentin
Oops. I first read it as "There is a family next to me at the stove." My thought was, I hope it's your family! 🤭🤦🏻♀️ Now that I've confessed my reading blunder, this kid has a great dad!
Definitely Mercedes! Wait...what?
Based College Rule
Sh*tter’s Open!
I've never understood the toilet issues. I mean if you have male and female guests in your home they all use the one bathroom and nobody blinks. Nobody checks their friends and family for proper hygiene eitquette in some questionnaire or some c**p before they come either, they are literally unknown in their toilet habits and everybody is just okay. So wtf with the outrage everywhere else?
Found My Weekend Plans
Really Behind You
I'm Sure Many Of Us Needed To Hear This
My lane is supporting all of youse on the internet and wasting the trolls' time, when I get a little spare time. Because I simply don't have the time (and truthfully, often can't be arsed) to be "active".
As Someone Who's Gone For 6 Years, It Really Does Make A Difference
Waiting for my ADHD/depression/whatever it is diagnosis (or no diagnosis, perhaps) :) Due to insane waiting lists I'm only due october next year, but I guess that's something.
Count Me In
Sometimes You Win Sometimes You Learn
Another Good One From Tumblr
All Fans Welcome
Self Digansis
Japan/America Cultural Exchange
Something Wholesome From Facebook
Do You, No Matter What!
Women Wearing What They Like In Peace
A unicorn onesie would be pretty awesome. I wonder if they do them in my size?
Gay Body Shaming Is Real
A Wheelchair Accessible Swing At A Public Park
THIS is what BP used to be all about. Really positive. More, please.
Is feeling hemochromatoicy the appropropriate term for the not being able to access more meme’s about inclusion because they’re now caught behind a Paywall? Is there another more appropriate term for too much irony? Or do we just now use the term “Panderish?”
BP WTAF!?!?! Unless I subscribe I have no access to MY OWN FREAKING POSTS or responses to them once you cut the original post from 99 to 50? On top of everything else, you don't DESERVE anyone's money for stealing material, repackaging it and calling it "writing". UTTER BS. Your ADS support your service stop being such twatwaffles.
Chill, dude. You can see your own posts (albeit not in context) by looking at your user page. Meanwhile - well, you say BP doesn't deserve any money for providing this small service for us? And then go on to say that BP gets "support" (that is, money) from advertising? Do you not see a small inconsistency? Everything costs money. Posting a comment here on BP costs money - paid by BP, mostly from ad revenue. Just - hey, chill a bit?
Load More Replies...THIS is what BP used to be all about. Really positive. More, please.
Is feeling hemochromatoicy the appropropriate term for the not being able to access more meme’s about inclusion because they’re now caught behind a Paywall? Is there another more appropriate term for too much irony? Or do we just now use the term “Panderish?”
BP WTAF!?!?! Unless I subscribe I have no access to MY OWN FREAKING POSTS or responses to them once you cut the original post from 99 to 50? On top of everything else, you don't DESERVE anyone's money for stealing material, repackaging it and calling it "writing". UTTER BS. Your ADS support your service stop being such twatwaffles.
Chill, dude. You can see your own posts (albeit not in context) by looking at your user page. Meanwhile - well, you say BP doesn't deserve any money for providing this small service for us? And then go on to say that BP gets "support" (that is, money) from advertising? Do you not see a small inconsistency? Everything costs money. Posting a comment here on BP costs money - paid by BP, mostly from ad revenue. Just - hey, chill a bit?
Load More Replies...