50 People Who Had Someone Else’s Back Online And Did It In The Most Wholesome Way (New Pics)
InterviewIt can be satisfying to see a niche thing you love – a book, a band, an artist – become popular in the mainstream. Yet it can also be upsetting. You root for their success for so long, but once everybody knows about them, it doesn't feel as special. That's gatekeeping, the grown-up cousin of "You can't sit with us."
But there is a community that doesn't gatekeep: the Gates Open, Come In subreddit. It's where people invite each other to like and enjoy stuff others might tell them is inappropriate or uncool, and generally have each other's backs. Like the kids say these days, "In the clurb, we all fam."
Bored Panda got in touch with one of the community's moderators, u/Merari01, and they kindly agreed to tell us more about the subreddit. Read our short chat with them below!
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If Anybody Has A Problem With That I'm Going To Let It Go
u/Merari01 told us that the theme of the subreddit drew them to become one of the moderators for the community. "The internet can be a negative place, full of angry people and content, which in some form makes people feel excluded," they told us via a message. "This subreddit is positive, inclusive, and shows a welcoming atmosphere."
The Redditor believes that people want their feeds to have more positivity. "Having a space that is explicitly inclusionary resonates with a lot of them," the netizen added. While moderating the subreddit's comment section can sometimes be challenging when members get into petty arguments, u/Merari01 is pretty happy with the job overall. "It's a fun space to be in, so, it's not a real challenge."
Inclusion
Dogs And Cats My Favorite Animals
We can gatekeep many things: the recipe for our favorite pasta, where we bought our fabulous shoes, our favorite sports teams, and many other things. In 2022, Vogue actually chose "gatekeep" as the word of the year. What, according to them, used to mean institutions or people withholding power now means not sharing information or access to something.
On TikTok, not gatekeeping means sharing where you got that sweater from and how much your tickets to see Taylor Swift cost. But Vogue writes that this is slightly ironic: if anything, the app made information and the world itself more accessible than ever. "Want to find out where a media-only fashion party or sample sale preview is taking place? You can probably hunt down the invite on TikTok."
Finally Someone Who Gets It!
Happy Lunar Year Everyone
This One Was Nice
Licensed psychologist and lecturer on the psychology of metal and punk rock Steve Byrne explains that social psychologists have observed our tendency to divide into groups. We make friends with people who have similar interests and outlooks on life, and we align ourselves against those who are different.
Byrne points to the Robbers Cave experiment, carried out in the 1950s. In it, social psychologist Muzafer Sherif studied 22 boys who, during the experiment, divided themselves into in and out-groups. It reflected the most basic truth that we divide ourselves according to many things: political beliefs, likes and dislikes, and even for the benefit of our own social standing.
Everything Turned Out Just Fine, Then
Struggle Has No Inherent Value
Literally The Gate Was Open
Byrne writes that it's natural for us to see those who are different from us as a threat. Then we want to appear stronger, more sophisticated, and cooler in front of them. And that's where gatekeeping comes in. In essence, we gatekeep because we're insecure. Putting others down is one of the ways we cope with insecurities. "At least we're not as bad as them," we comfort ourselves.
It's Never Too Late
Mentally Empathetic Dad
Brooklyn Librarians Subverting Censorship & Allowing Any Teenager In America To Have A Library Card
Perhaps now more than ever, division into insiders and outsiders is hurting us all around the world. Byrne suggests that some political leaders thrive on sowing division with the "us against them" mentality. In reality, there must be very little that's actually different about us.
What An Adorable Man Doing Such A Lovely Thing ❤️😍🥰
It Got A Little Aggressive, But I Like The Message
For The Waiters
The above reason plus I used to work the same type of jobs and know how hard it can be.
I never waited tables or worked retail, but I spent years in customer service related jobs. I know what it’s like to be spoken down to, yelled at, insulted, threatened, propositioned by gross people, and generally mistreated by other human beings (who only hold that title by a very thin thread). I’ve had people make obscene calls just to get their jollies, I’ve heard people arguing really nasty to each other, I’ve even heard violence happening on their street outside their homes (gunshots). So I’m nice to service people who I can tell are doing their best. Being nasty and condescending toward them doesn’t actually make them do any better. It does, however, shake their confidence and make their performance actually worse, as well as make them hate you and want to get you to leave quickly. Being kind, patient, and understanding when things get difficult and stressful (like being shorthanded in the middle of a huge rush of customers), makes people actually try to do their best for you, and remember you if you ever go there again. It’s an old saying, but true: You can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar.
Load More Replies...Reasons why I'm EXTRA polite and friendly to waitstaff and store workers: Because a lot of people seem to be Aholes to them.
Agreed. Same for phone calls with customer service reps. They always seem pleasantly surprised by compliments.
Load More Replies...Even if they were your servants, they'd still be human being trying to make a living and so equally as worthy of respect!
Agree with the sentiment. But servants also are human beings... unless they are not... Any servants willing to prove their humanity?
Iv never worked in a restaurant or take away establishment to know the pressure the fine folks are but manners are free and so is respect I was brought up that I should treat others how I want to be treat so that Is the morals I use as a adult and it is a lot better than being a karen, you get a lot further in life treating people better than you would being entitled and a b***h.
Even if they were your servants, you should still be polite to them/
Also... I've BEEN there.... I was much younger and I know I couldn't put up with that c**p at my age now
Our children are reprimanded if they don't say please and thank you to the servers... They are very good about it as are we... Sadly, the servers often seem surprised at the simplest courtesy
I try to be polite to everyone. If not polite, at least nice and respectful.
also I have this weird thing where I try to establish an invisible connection w/everyone I meet...sometimes on bp 2...pls don't judge I am goning through my awkward stage in life and am very self conscious.
"Those who are seemingly kept out by these gatekeepers might be seeing the gate as some hulking castle drawbridge, sealed up tight and ready to defend a kingdom against marauders when it’s really just a broken garden fence, easily stepped over," Byrne writes.
Just Let Them Be They
Stress Relief
Friendly Incentive
Interestingly, some people see gatekeeping as a good thing. In an article for The Cut, Ann Friedman suggests that some communities gatekeep to preserve their culture. She writes about Anthony Bourdain worrying about sending tourist masses to mom-and-pop restaurants, as well as Black creators feeling conflicted when white creators use their aesthetics, language, and memes and calling it appropriation.
Every Job Is Valid!
Shout Out To The Solo Eaters
Emotional Rollercoaster! (Pls Remove If Posted Before)
Kelly Elizabeth Wright, a lexicographer with the American Dialect Society, explained that gatekeeping in this context gives minorities back that little bit of power they lose in this age of vast media consumption. "You could be making a piece of content that is for other Black people or for your community, but then it's public or it gets algorithmically exposed. There is less control in the way social media is surfaced and served to people."
Luke Skywalker Makes Young Star Wars Fan Feel Loved
Depression Gateopening
That's His Whole Thing
Sirena Bergman writes for Business Insider that the boom in tourism in Hawaii during the pandemic caused native Hawaiians and Pacific Islanders to "gatekeep" the state. The natives talked about the rise of COVID-19 cases and the environmental impacts of tourism and asked people not to travel there, but still faced backlash.
You're Not A Machine. You're Garden
Moms,,,/-
You Don't Have To Be Good At Something To Enjoy Doing It
That's how "gatebreaking" came to TikTok, the opposite of gatekeeping. The idea is that there should be no barriers to information, expertise, places, or knowledge. But Bergman observes that there's more nuance to this problem. While being against gatekeeping is, in essence, standing against inequality, it's alright for some people to sometimes stay on the fringes of certain spaces.
Pls Info Dump On Me I Love It
Slow Down
Drink What You Like!!!
However, in most cases, the old cliche "sharing is caring" might just be true. Sharing information, access, knowledge, and just genuinely having each other's backs. If this wholesome list is right up your alley, Pandas, check out the previous ones that we've done about the "Gates Open, Come On In" community here and here!
Words To Live By
Good Parentin
Definitely Mercedes! Wait...what?
Based College Rule
Sh*tter’s Open!
Found My Weekend Plans
Really Behind You
I'm Sure Many Of Us Needed To Hear This
As Someone Who's Gone For 6 Years, It Really Does Make A Difference
Count Me In
Sometimes You Win Sometimes You Learn
Another Good One From Tumblr
All Fans Welcome
Self Digansis
Japan/America Cultural Exchange
Something Wholesome From Facebook
Do You, No Matter What!
Women Wearing What They Like In Peace
Gay Body Shaming Is Real
A Wheelchair Accessible Swing At A Public Park
THIS is what BP used to be all about. Really positive. More, please.
Is feeling hemochromatoicy the appropropriate term for the not being able to access more meme’s about inclusion because they’re now caught behind a Paywall? Is there another more appropriate term for too much irony? Or do we just now use the term “Panderish?”
BP WTAF!?!?! Unless I subscribe I have no access to MY OWN FREAKING POSTS or responses to them once you cut the original post from 99 to 50? On top of everything else, you don't DESERVE anyone's money for stealing material, repackaging it and calling it "writing". UTTER BS. Your ADS support your service stop being such twatwaffles.
Chill, dude. You can see your own posts (albeit not in context) by looking at your user page. Meanwhile - well, you say BP doesn't deserve any money for providing this small service for us? And then go on to say that BP gets "support" (that is, money) from advertising? Do you not see a small inconsistency? Everything costs money. Posting a comment here on BP costs money - paid by BP, mostly from ad revenue. Just - hey, chill a bit?
Load More Replies...THIS is what BP used to be all about. Really positive. More, please.
Is feeling hemochromatoicy the appropropriate term for the not being able to access more meme’s about inclusion because they’re now caught behind a Paywall? Is there another more appropriate term for too much irony? Or do we just now use the term “Panderish?”
BP WTAF!?!?! Unless I subscribe I have no access to MY OWN FREAKING POSTS or responses to them once you cut the original post from 99 to 50? On top of everything else, you don't DESERVE anyone's money for stealing material, repackaging it and calling it "writing". UTTER BS. Your ADS support your service stop being such twatwaffles.
Chill, dude. You can see your own posts (albeit not in context) by looking at your user page. Meanwhile - well, you say BP doesn't deserve any money for providing this small service for us? And then go on to say that BP gets "support" (that is, money) from advertising? Do you not see a small inconsistency? Everything costs money. Posting a comment here on BP costs money - paid by BP, mostly from ad revenue. Just - hey, chill a bit?
Load More Replies...