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It can be satisfying to see a niche thing you love – a book, a band, an artist – become popular in the mainstream. Yet it can also be upsetting. You root for their success for so long, but once everybody knows about them, it doesn't feel as special. That's gatekeeping, the grown-up cousin of "You can't sit with us."

But there is a community that doesn't gatekeep: the Gates Open, Come In subreddit. It's where people invite each other to like and enjoy stuff others might tell them is inappropriate or uncool, and generally have each other's backs. Like the kids say these days, "In the clurb, we all fam."

Bored Panda got in touch with one of the community's moderators, u/Merari01, and they kindly agreed to tell us more about the subreddit. Read our short chat with them below!

#1

If Anybody Has A Problem With That I'm Going To Let It Go

A person defending their role as a Disney-loving parent in an online comment.

Hotchi_Motchi Report

u/Merari01 told us that the theme of the subreddit drew them to become one of the moderators for the community. "The internet can be a negative place, full of angry people and content, which in some form makes people feel excluded," they told us via a message. "This subreddit is positive, inclusive, and shows a welcoming atmosphere."

The Redditor believes that people want their feeds to have more positivity. "Having a space that is explicitly inclusionary resonates with a lot of them," the netizen added. While moderating the subreddit's comment section can sometimes be challenging when members get into petty arguments, u/Merari01 is pretty happy with the job overall. "It's a fun space to be in, so, it's not a real challenge."

#3

Dogs And Cats My Favorite Animals

Tweet shows humorous dialogue about choosing between cats or dogs.

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We can gatekeep many things: the recipe for our favorite pasta, where we bought our fabulous shoes, our favorite sports teams, and many other things. In 2022, Vogue actually chose "gatekeep" as the word of the year. What, according to them, used to mean institutions or people withholding power now means not sharing information or access to something.

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On TikTok, not gatekeeping means sharing where you got that sweater from and how much your tickets to see Taylor Swift cost. But Vogue writes that this is slightly ironic: if anything, the app made information and the world itself more accessible than ever. "Want to find out where a media-only fashion party or sample sale preview is taking place? You can probably hunt down the invite on TikTok."

Licensed psychologist and lecturer on the psychology of metal and punk rock Steve Byrne explains that social psychologists have observed our tendency to divide into groups. We make friends with people who have similar interests and outlooks on life, and we align ourselves against those who are different.

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Byrne points to the Robbers Cave experiment, carried out in the 1950s. In it, social psychologist Muzafer Sherif studied 22 boys who, during the experiment, divided themselves into in and out-groups. It reflected the most basic truth that we divide ourselves according to many things: political beliefs, likes and dislikes, and even for the benefit of our own social standing.

#7

Everything Turned Out Just Fine, Then

Tweet from Laurie sharing a wholesome dad's supportive response to coming out as trans.

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#8

Struggle Has No Inherent Value

Wholesome reminder text encouraging self-care and making life easier, shared in a supportive online post.

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Byrne writes that it's natural for us to see those who are different from us as a threat. Then we want to appear stronger, more sophisticated, and cooler in front of them. And that's where gatekeeping comes in. In essence, we gatekeep because we're insecure. Putting others down is one of the ways we cope with insecurities. "At least we're not as bad as them," we comfort ourselves.

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#12

Brooklyn Librarians Subverting Censorship & Allowing Any Teenager In America To Have A Library Card

Brooklyn Library allows teens nationwide to access ebooks, promoting inclusivity and combating censorship.

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Perhaps now more than ever, division into insiders and outsiders is hurting us all around the world. Byrne suggests that some political leaders thrive on sowing division with the "us against them" mentality. In reality, there must be very little that's actually different about us.

#13

What An Adorable Man Doing Such A Lovely Thing ❤️😍🥰

Elderly man with vitiligo crochets dolls for children with the condition, displaying wholesome support online.

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#14

It Got A Little Aggressive, But I Like The Message

People celebrating a Hindu wedding, highlighting cultural appreciation and support in an online discussion.

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#15

For The Waiters

Pie chart showing a reason for politeness to waiters: understanding their humanity and struggles.

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Julia Mckinney
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The above reason plus I used to work the same type of jobs and know how hard it can be.

Tabitha
Community Member
1 week ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I never waited tables or worked retail, but I spent years in customer service related jobs. I know what it’s like to be spoken down to, yelled at, insulted, threatened, propositioned by gross people, and generally mistreated by other human beings (who only hold that title by a very thin thread). I’ve had people make obscene calls just to get their jollies, I’ve heard people arguing really nasty to each other, I’ve even heard violence happening on their street outside their homes (gunshots). So I’m nice to service people who I can tell are doing their best. Being nasty and condescending toward them doesn’t actually make them do any better. It does, however, shake their confidence and make their performance actually worse, as well as make them hate you and want to get you to leave quickly. Being kind, patient, and understanding when things get difficult and stressful (like being shorthanded in the middle of a huge rush of customers), makes people actually try to do their best for you, and remember you if you ever go there again. It’s an old saying, but true: You can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar.

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ucp
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Other than “because they are beings”? Shouldn’t need one

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Slapdash1
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well that and because spitting is a thing. NEVER be rude to anyone handles your food.

Donkey boi
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Reasons why I'm EXTRA polite and friendly to waitstaff and store workers: Because a lot of people seem to be Aholes to them.

Lotekguy
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Agreed. Same for phone calls with customer service reps. They always seem pleasantly surprised by compliments.

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CanadianDimes
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even if they were your servants, they'd still be human being trying to make a living and so equally as worthy of respect!

Thomas Grant
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Agree with the sentiment. But servants also are human beings... unless they are not... Any servants willing to prove their humanity?

Bigmomma
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Iv never worked in a restaurant or take away establishment to know the pressure the fine folks are but manners are free and so is respect I was brought up that I should treat others how I want to be treat so that Is the morals I use as a adult and it is a lot better than being a karen, you get a lot further in life treating people better than you would being entitled and a b***h.

Michael Largey
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even if they were your servants, you should still be polite to them/

robin aldrich
Community Member
1 week ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also... I've BEEN there.... I was much younger and I know I couldn't put up with that c**p at my age now

Pirate Luxe
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Our children are reprimanded if they don't say please and thank you to the servers... They are very good about it as are we... Sadly, the servers often seem surprised at the simplest courtesy

Janet Graham
Community Member
2 hours ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I try to be polite to everyone. If not polite, at least nice and respectful.

Mimi M
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Because I've done it (along with a lot of other things).

Pandamonium Pandas Pandie
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

also I have this weird thing where I try to establish an invisible connection w/everyone I meet...sometimes on bp 2...pls don't judge I am goning through my awkward stage in life and am very self conscious.

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"Those who are seemingly kept out by these gatekeepers might be seeing the gate as some hulking castle drawbridge, sealed up tight and ready to defend a kingdom against marauders when it’s really just a broken garden fence, easily stepped over," Byrne writes.

Interestingly, some people see gatekeeping as a good thing. In an article for The Cut, Ann Friedman suggests that some communities gatekeep to preserve their culture. She writes about Anthony Bourdain worrying about sending tourist masses to mom-and-pop restaurants, as well as Black creators feeling conflicted when white creators use their aesthetics, language, and memes and calling it appropriation.

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#21

Emotional Rollercoaster! (Pls Remove If Posted Before)

Wholesome online exchange about greener grass, highlighting personal growth and resilience with playful commentary.

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Kelly Elizabeth Wright, a lexicographer with the American Dialect Society, explained that gatekeeping in this context gives minorities back that little bit of power they lose in this age of vast media consumption. "You could be making a piece of content that is for other Black people or for your community, but then it's public or it gets algorithmically exposed. There is less control in the way social media is surfaced and served to people."

#22

Luke Skywalker Makes Young Star Wars Fan Feel Loved

Tweet by Mark Hamill responding to a fan about creative toddler Star Wars names.

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Sirena Bergman writes for Business Insider that the boom in tourism in Hawaii during the pandemic caused native Hawaiians and Pacific Islanders to "gatekeep" the state. The natives talked about the rise of COVID-19 cases and the environmental impacts of tourism and asked people not to travel there, but still faced backlash.

#25

You're Not A Machine. You're Garden

Wholesome tweet offering support, comparing people to gardens with varying needs, encouraging self-care and growth.

joynessthebrave Report

#27

You Don't Have To Be Good At Something To Enjoy Doing It

Text encouraging self-expression and enjoyment over perfection, emphasizing it's okay to not be good at everything.

r_I_reddit Report

That's how "gatebreaking" came to TikTok, the opposite of gatekeeping. The idea is that there should be no barriers to information, expertise, places, or knowledge. But Bergman observes that there's more nuance to this problem. While being against gatekeeping is, in essence, standing against inequality, it's alright for some people to sometimes stay on the fringes of certain spaces.

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However, in most cases, the old cliche "sharing is caring" might just be true. Sharing information, access, knowledge, and just genuinely having each other's backs. If this wholesome list is right up your alley, Pandas, check out the previous ones that we've done about the "Gates Open, Come On In" community here and here!

#33

Definitely Mercedes! Wait...what?

Two cars parked side by side with a tweet emphasizing inclusivity over stereotypes.

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#38

I'm Sure Many Of Us Needed To Hear This

Inspirational quote about resistance and unity shared by a Twitter user.

demandingultimatum Report

#39

As Someone Who's Gone For 6 Years, It Really Does Make A Difference

Wholesome online support: a tweet emphasizes that therapy is beneficial for everyone, not just those with "issues."

CarolGeorgese Report

#41

Sometimes You Win Sometimes You Learn

Tweet expressing willingness to explain the difference between science fiction and fantasy in a wholesome way.

thehideousprse Report

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#45

Japan/America Cultural Exchange

Online support for embracing Japanese culture with wholesome cultural exchanges discussed in a Tumblr post.

baxil Report

#46

Something Wholesome From Facebook

Animals exchanging wholesome online advice, with a cat, leopard, tiger, and lion using laptops.

ObsessedStock98 Report

#48

Women Wearing What They Like In Peace

Two girls in Halloween costumes promoting self-expression and non-judgment in a wholesome illustration.

Pumaheart Report

#50

A Wheelchair Accessible Swing At A Public Park

Accessible swing in playground showing someone having another's back in a wholesome way.

Turkeycirclejerky Report

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#53

At The Minnesota United Game Last Night

At The Minnesota United Game Last Night

Hotchi_Motchi Report

#56

You Are Still Valid No Matter What

You Are Still Valid No Matter What

fridakahl0 Report

#58

This New Train Station Has Baby Changing Stations In Both Restrooms

This New Train Station Has Baby Changing Stations In Both Restrooms

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#60

Just Like The Pied Piper LED Rats Through The Streets... 🎵🎵

Just Like The Pied Piper LED Rats Through The Streets... 🎵🎵

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#63

Metallica Invites Y’all To Come On In

Metallica Invites Y’all To Come On In

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#64

Super Mario Chess Has No Time For Gender Stereotypes

Super Mario Chess Has No Time For Gender Stereotypes

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#66

The R/Crochet Community Is Very Wholesome

The R/Crochet Community Is Very Wholesome

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#69

It's A Big Ask But I'm Behind It

It's A Big Ask But I'm Behind It

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#70

Sharing A Love Of Music Does Not Have To Be Limited By Genre

Sharing A Love Of Music Does Not Have To Be Limited By Genre

RazzDaNinja Report

#71

With All The Brouhaha About Whether Marvel Movies Are True Cinema, Here's Steven Spielberg's Take:

With All The Brouhaha About Whether Marvel Movies Are True Cinema, Here's Steven Spielberg's Take:

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#72

Vent’s Open Come On In

Vent’s Open Come On In

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#75

I Found This Lifesaver Gummies Packaging Very Wholesome :)

I Found This Lifesaver Gummies Packaging Very Wholesome :)

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#76

The Country "Georgia" 🇬🇪 Or The State Of "Georgia" 🇺🇲?

The Country "Georgia" 🇬🇪 Or The State Of "Georgia" 🇺🇲?

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#79

April Fools 😁

April Fools 😁

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#81

This One Has Been A Long Time Coming

This One Has Been A Long Time Coming

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#83

A Surprise, To Be Sure, But A Welcome One

A Surprise, To Be Sure, But A Welcome One

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#84

A Little Body Positivity From 1977

A Little Body Positivity From 1977

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#87

Don’t Let Anyone Make You Feel Bad For Feeling Bad. These Are Big Things And It’s Normal To Be Upset

Don’t Let Anyone Make You Feel Bad For Feeling Bad. These Are Big Things And It’s Normal To Be Upset

UsuallyObnox Report

#90

Anyone Can Appreciate Kind Words ❤️

Anyone Can Appreciate Kind Words ❤️

DarkRoomPerson Report

#91

People Who Know How To Sew But Don't Call Themselves Girls Are Also Valid, We Love You Too :)

People Who Know How To Sew But Don't Call Themselves Girls Are Also Valid, We Love You Too :)

N-Lily83 Report

#92

Don't Matter You're A Skateboarder

Don't Matter You're A Skateboarder

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#93

Found This And New It Fit Here

Found This And New It Fit Here

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#94

There Is No Difference

There Is No Difference

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#95

🎺🎷🎺🎷🎺🎷🎺🎷

🎺🎷🎺🎷🎺🎷🎺🎷

alexiscoding Report

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#96

(They’re Both Sports Cars)

(They’re Both Sports Cars)

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#97

Just Tell People Their Shirts Are Cool!!

Just Tell People Their Shirts Are Cool!!

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#98

Old Players 🤝 New Players

Old Players 🤝 New Players

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#99

Narcissistic Survivors Have My Heart

Narcissistic Survivors Have My Heart

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