To put it simply, gatekeeping is an act when someone takes it upon themselves to decide who does or does not have access or rights to a community or identity ("You can't be a real Phoebe Bridgers fan, you just discovered her. Real fans follow her since at least Stranger in the Alps.") If this sounds ridiculous to you, don't worry. You're not alone.
There's a subreddit called r/GatesOpenComeOnIn and it describes itself as the polar opposite of gatekeeping. Created in 2018, this online community collects and shares pictures of wholesome acts of kindness when people had each other's backs. Whether it's encouraging everyone to share their Spotify Wrapped or simply allowing someone to feel tired, it doesn't take much to acknowledge another person's emotions, thoughts, experiences, values, and beliefs. Continue scrolling and check out how it's done.
This post may include affiliate links.
Wholesome Patriotism
As you can see from the pictures, empathy goes a long way. Developing it is crucial for establishing relationships and behaving compassionately. Since empathy involves experiencing another person’s point of view, rather than just one’s own, it enables prosocial or helping behaviors that come from within, rather than being forced.
Sadly, some surveys indicate that empathy is on the decline in the United States and elsewhere. But at least these findings motivate parents, schools, and communities to support programs that help people of all ages enhance and maintain their ability to walk in each other’s shoes.
Halloween For Everyone!
Come On In And Long As You’re Nice
If God created all creatures with his infinite wisdom, why would he hate something that HE created?
Empathy really is a superpower: it helps us cooperate with others, build friendships, make moral decisions, and intervene when we see others being bullied.
Humans usually begin to show signs of empathy in infancy and the trait develops steadily through childhood and adolescence.
That being said, most people are likely to feel greater empathy for someone like themselves and may feel less empathy for those outside their family, community, ethnicity, or race.
Everybody Say Thank You To Andy
Making Your Child Happy
Minding Your Own Business Is Free
Like other traits, empathy may have evolved with a selfish motive: using others as a "social antenna" to help detect danger. From an evolutionary point of view, creating a mental model of another person's intent is critical: the arrival of an interloper, for example, could be deadly, so developing sensitivity to the signals of others could be life-saving.
Babies display an understanding that people’s actions are guided by intentions and can act on that understanding before they turn 18 months old, including trying to comfort a parent. Advanced reasoning about other people’s thoughts develops around age 5-6.
Bikinis For Boys
Gates Open Slide On In!
Read Whatever You Want
Experts say that people high in narcissism, or who have a narcissistic personality disorder, can exhibit empathy and even compassion. However, that ability only goes so far, as ultimately they prioritize their own needs.
Some researchers believe narcissists can become more empathetic by developing greater self-compassion, which can increase their own feelings of security and self-worth and enable them to open up to hearing others.
Shout Out To The Solo Eaters
Do What Makes You Happy For You
Unexpected Pet
Someone I Went To School With Posted This About Giving Their Son A Unicorn-Themed Birthday Bash. Positive Parenting For The Win
My boy loves colour pink and red. As soon as he was able to show it to me, I have made him red birthday cake and bought red or pink clothes. He also liked to play with baby doll, toy washing machine and cooking gadgets and we allowed him to play what ever he wanted. That phase has now mostly passed, but red is still his favourite colour.
"Do a thought experiment," Mark Davis, a professor of psychology who has spent decades studying empathy, said. “Imagine if humans didn’t have the capacity for empathy. What would it mean if, in fact, we never gave a damn about what happened to other people? That’s an almost an inconceivable world."
"As awful a species as we can be — and we certainly have the capacity for terrible things — we’re also capable of some pretty wonderful things, noble things, self-sacrifice."
Family Is A Family Is A Family
A while ago someone asked me if I “have a family”. I said yes and was genuinely confused when she started asking me about kids.
Southern Hospitality
Anyone Can Be Tired!
Never Too Late To Join A Movement
Interestingly, the word "empathy" is relatively new. It didn’t enter the English language until the early 1900s, derived from the German word einfühlung, according to Daniel Batson, a researcher of empathy and professor emeritus at Kansas University.
Felt Like This Might Belong Here
It's The Thought That Counts
Never Too Late For New Beginnings
While some people are more naturally empathetic than others, there are easy, evidenced-based exercises that anyone can do to increase their empathy.
First, talk to new people. Trying to imagine how someone else feels is often not enough. Luckily, the solution is simple: ask them. "For me, the core of empathy is curiosity," Jodi Halpern, a psychiatrist and bioethics professor at the University of California, Berkeley, who studies empathy, told The New York Times. "It's what is another person’s life actually like in its particulars?”
We Are All Nerds Together
I can completely relate to this. I love it when I discover that a friend that I've known for years has an in depth knowledge on a subject I never suspected.
Does This Truck Count?
Good Guy Owner
I love this. In Germany it is forbidden by the law to look for food in supermarket dumpsters. As long as the food doesnt pose a safety hazard, the food should be donated (which some supermarkets do, but its only a few plus they have to pay tax for the food which they are donating, so not many do this).
Hi Milly
You can start conversations with strangers or invite a colleague or neighbor you don't know well to lunch. But the trick is to go beyond small talk – ask them how they're doing and what their daily life is like.
Put away your phone and other screens when you’re having conversations, even with the people you see every day, so you can fully listen and notice their facial expressions and gestures.
Also, follow people on social media with different backgrounds than you have (different race, religion, or political persuasion).
Stress Relief
Money Is Power, But Also Not
Better Late Than Never
Dude in my graduating class (back in 1997) was 84 years old at the time of his graduation. Learn like you'll live forever, it's never too late.
Oh Thank You
But don’t just stand in someone else's shoes, as the saying goes—take a walk in them. For example, consider attending someone else's church, mosque, synagogue, or other houses of worship for a few weeks while they attend yours, or visit a village in a developing country and volunteer.
If you don't have enough time for these activities, you can simply explore a new neighborhood, or strike up a conversation with a homeless person in your community.
If someone’s behavior is bothering you, think about why. Consider what it’s like to live their daily life.
Gay Pride Can Be Whatever You Want/Need It To Be
Friendly Encouragement
How Lovely
Showing Respect For One Another’s Professions
What a weird comment. Don't we all love the person that turns up at our doorstep with our eagerly awaited parcel??
Remember, you don't need to understand everything about someone to make them feel respected. Just don’t make assumptions about people based on what your life is like. The people on this list certainly haven't.
We’re all humans, and we all have a desire to connect with one another. Building our empathy, considering the perspectives of others, and opening ourselves to uncomfortable conversations can make that happen.
Witches vs. Patriarchy
Jesus Never Stutters
You Get To Decide How You Define Being "Grownup"
All Allies Welcome!
Taking Care Of Your Mental Health Is Important
We’re All In This Together
A lot of people do make it their business to decide what other people should earn, how and where they should live and why they shouldn't have universal healthcare. They're called Republicans.
Ok Zoomer
They Had Us In The First Half
I find it amazing that some Christians arrogantly think that their religion somehow “owns” marriage. People were getting together and pairing up in a variety of rituals 1000s of years before Christianity turned up.
I Love Sharing My Book Collection
Just Flush
Speak Everything
Learning Is Awesome
Read What You Love
You’re Doing Just Fine
This stupid meme also failed to recognise that to develop skills and side hustles we really benefit from the support of friends and family. Hanging out and chatting enables our brains to get things in to perspective, sort out what we've learnt so far, and subconsciously start to work on what is to come next.
Blake Knows What's Up
Gonna Remember Who Spoke To Me And Who Didn’t
Accept Everyone And Respect Their Decisions Y’all
Slightly unpopular comment - I might still get it wrong once or twice, but if pointed out I will apologise and correct myself going forward. It's not an attack on you if I take steps to get it right - it's evidence that humans make mistakes
As long as you apologise and correct yourself, I’d (and I’m a transgender boy) would be fine. It’s hard to adjust, but as long as you try.
Load More Replies...At first, it's a bit hard to overcome old habits (having known her for years and then "suddenly" calling the same person by his actual name and pronoun) and I am always thankful and happy when those affected by me falling back into old habits are not angry but patient with me until I catch up. I'm doing my best - but will still fail every now and then... (Not too often, I hope.)
I have a childhood friend (like the son of my fathers friend). I never saw him since he changed his pronouns so its very difficult for me to think about that person as a he (since I never saw him presenting as a guy). It always makes me feel guilty.
Load More Replies...Society: If I can ask as well that when I'm making an effort but I get it wrong, I would appreciate it that you don't get angry at me... I'm trying my best :-) Trans: Of course, I appreciate that you are making an effort and I understand that we all make mistakes and that there are a lot of things going on in your life! Society: :-) Trans: :-)
May I add one caveat? I'm 73 years old. My memory is swiss cheese. So if I met you one time three months ago, and I accidentally call you "him" or "her" by mistake when I see you again, please don't rape me on Facebook for being socially unaware, whatever that is. I'm doing the best I can and if you can't respect that, then why do you expect me to respect you? You do you, and let me do my best, and don't be a D**k if I forget you're "zem" or "zir" this week. Thank you.
Just please be patient with me. I'm old and I've been talking for a lot of decades. Sometimes I forget or stumble over your preferred pronouns. But I'm trying! Can I give you a hug?
Except when I keep making mistakes because of what I was socialized to think like. I have a lovely trans woman whom I keep calling 'man' in our friendly encounters at the pool, mailbox, parking lot and other social settings. She is always correcting me gently and I find myself angry with myself for my brain not getting used to this change. So Trans people, there are people like me who mean no harm and it may take time to get used to what you want and meanwhile, please be patient.
I have the same problem. I just hope they know we're trying.
Load More Replies...True, BUT, If I've known you for the last 30 years as Fred, and now you are Ginny, be patient, that's gonna take me some time to remember
As a trans person, I understand completely, and I believe most other people who are trans/nonbinary/go by different names for other reasons understand as well. Just be sure to try your best.
Load More Replies...I will use what name you like, but don't go effing ballistic if I forget the proper pronoun a few times...I am bad enough with remembering names/faces of people I have met. Mostly I just respond with "Hi, How are things" "What you been up to?"
Has anyone ever gone ballistic at you for accidentally using the wrong pronoun?
Load More Replies...This gave me the same fuzzy feelings as when my sister called me my preffered name for the first time :]
Aww. That’s so sweet. I wish I had siblings I could trust like that. I’m happy you’re able to tell some family and be accepted!
Load More Replies...society: please keep me informed of changes in the social rules so I don't trespass thru ignorance.
To the people that whine about referring to someone as they/them as being grammatically incorrect: who the hell cares? Just respect your fellow humans kthx
This is a tough one to solve, one's preferred pronouns aren't always obvious from their appearance, and people aren't (yet) accustomed to asking first.
I hope we never become accostomed to asking. It's going too far and being too demanding. If someone tells me, I will do my best to use he or she as requested. But I'm not going to ask every person I meet which pronoun they prefer. That's on them.
Load More Replies...My given name is Nicole, but I've always preferred Nikki. So why would you deliberately annoy me by calling me Nicole? People should be referred to the way THEY wish, not the way YOU wish.
Try being called Nicola and having it rejected as "wrong" and be referred to as Nicole because that's the "real" name! *sigh*. Small wonder I go by Nikki as well!
Load More Replies...If that was true, then somebody would have done it already.
Load More Replies...Do Whatever Makes You Happy
I think these are great but I have some reservations about the ones that say things like "Welcome all" or "Love everyone no matter what" bc I think that we should still be careful and wary of people who have shown that they are untrustworthy and will make trouble. I do think that we should give people chances to improve and guide them in the right direction but we should do so before welcoming them into places like our homes. Sure, if you don’t know someone be civil to them no matter their ethnic origin, religion, gender, sexuality, etc. and don’t judge them based on these things, but if they show that they are not someone you want to be around because they do not return your kindness, then I don’t think you should “welcome” them.
Yeah. We must love everybody no matter the origin, sex, orientation etc. But we shouldt love people who does bad to others like rapists, bigots, murderers etc. Intolerance cannot be tolerated.
Load More Replies...I think this series has the right attitude of positivism. I always argue for being critical with anything, but being careing for other beings and, ultimately, yourself, always is a good idea. To put this to BP: upvote early, downvote only if you really think something is wrong.
I love how people like these are around. I bet someone was having a horrid day and was scrolling through these and saw something they related to, and it made their day. Thank you for putting this and it, for sure, made my day a whole lot better. 💕
Lets make a petition to get more posts like this one. I think a lot of Pandas would sign it
I have never wanted to hug so many people all at once in my life. Darned ninjas cutting onions *wipes tearse*
This made me feel better. Things are hard right now. <3 to everyone, wherever and whoever you are.
I loved this a lot. Not only did it help me see the world in a better way, it made me feel better. Better that I can stand up for people and not look dumb. That I can stand up for others and not care :)
Most definitely agree with #32, respect the work/job. My late father used to tell anyone who was job hunting, or foolish enough to put him down for his jobs, "There's honor in any job well done, that's honest work. If you don't have a job, get one. Otherwise, keep your mouth shut and let me get back to my job!" (he was a professional baker for a large company for about 16 years, then a school janitor for three years, then a "troubleshooter" and maintenance man for the school system for another 30 years, among other jobs he'd had as a very young man). I had many jobs in my 52 years of working, some I absolutely hated, some I loved, but all of them honorable work, and I learned something from every one of them. NEVER make fun of anyone's job---especially if you aren't working yourself, but very much need to do so!
Number 11 bible says make a joyful noise unto the lord. It never says you have to be on key.
Well that made me cry ( happy cry...there's hope for humanity yet by gosh)x
Thank you. This is the best collection of panda posts I’ve read in a while. Restores my faith in humanity.
I loved this post - I wanted to upvote everyone and give all these people hugs!
Also go out to get some vitamin D, watch some trees and remember to drink water <3
Because it’s the internet and you’re being skeptical, which is okay, but probably not true. Some people just want to be nice. That’s not too hard to believe is it?
Load More Replies...I think these are great but I have some reservations about the ones that say things like "Welcome all" or "Love everyone no matter what" bc I think that we should still be careful and wary of people who have shown that they are untrustworthy and will make trouble. I do think that we should give people chances to improve and guide them in the right direction but we should do so before welcoming them into places like our homes. Sure, if you don’t know someone be civil to them no matter their ethnic origin, religion, gender, sexuality, etc. and don’t judge them based on these things, but if they show that they are not someone you want to be around because they do not return your kindness, then I don’t think you should “welcome” them.
Yeah. We must love everybody no matter the origin, sex, orientation etc. But we shouldt love people who does bad to others like rapists, bigots, murderers etc. Intolerance cannot be tolerated.
Load More Replies...I think this series has the right attitude of positivism. I always argue for being critical with anything, but being careing for other beings and, ultimately, yourself, always is a good idea. To put this to BP: upvote early, downvote only if you really think something is wrong.
I love how people like these are around. I bet someone was having a horrid day and was scrolling through these and saw something they related to, and it made their day. Thank you for putting this and it, for sure, made my day a whole lot better. 💕
Lets make a petition to get more posts like this one. I think a lot of Pandas would sign it
I have never wanted to hug so many people all at once in my life. Darned ninjas cutting onions *wipes tearse*
This made me feel better. Things are hard right now. <3 to everyone, wherever and whoever you are.
I loved this a lot. Not only did it help me see the world in a better way, it made me feel better. Better that I can stand up for people and not look dumb. That I can stand up for others and not care :)
Most definitely agree with #32, respect the work/job. My late father used to tell anyone who was job hunting, or foolish enough to put him down for his jobs, "There's honor in any job well done, that's honest work. If you don't have a job, get one. Otherwise, keep your mouth shut and let me get back to my job!" (he was a professional baker for a large company for about 16 years, then a school janitor for three years, then a "troubleshooter" and maintenance man for the school system for another 30 years, among other jobs he'd had as a very young man). I had many jobs in my 52 years of working, some I absolutely hated, some I loved, but all of them honorable work, and I learned something from every one of them. NEVER make fun of anyone's job---especially if you aren't working yourself, but very much need to do so!
Number 11 bible says make a joyful noise unto the lord. It never says you have to be on key.
Well that made me cry ( happy cry...there's hope for humanity yet by gosh)x
Thank you. This is the best collection of panda posts I’ve read in a while. Restores my faith in humanity.
I loved this post - I wanted to upvote everyone and give all these people hugs!
Also go out to get some vitamin D, watch some trees and remember to drink water <3
Because it’s the internet and you’re being skeptical, which is okay, but probably not true. Some people just want to be nice. That’s not too hard to believe is it?
Load More Replies...