30 Unethical Parenting Hacks For Moms And Dads Who Don’t Mind Manipulating Their Kids
Interview With Expert
If you don’t go to sleep before Santa gets here, you won’t get any Christmas presents. No, no, that’s not spinach in the soup. It’s basil! Oh, you want a sip of my milkshake? You won’t like it, it’s spicy.
There are plenty of ways parents bend the truth when talking to their kids every single day. And while honesty is definitely the best policy the majority of the time, a little white lie every now and then is harmless. Redditors have recently been sharing ethically questionable parenting hacks that moms and dads rely on, so we’ve gathered the most brilliant ones below. Keep reading to find a chat with parenting expert Amy Morrison, Founder of Pregnant Chicken, and be sure to upvote the tips that you’ll utilize with your own children!
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Our youngest son co-slept with his mother and I until he was 5… easily the dumbest thing we ever did. Trying to ween him off of that put his life and our sanity in danger. Hours a night were spent trying to get that little devil to fall asleep. My wife introduced him to “The Sleep Fairy”. A lot like the Tooth Fairy, only SF helps little boys and girls sleep in their own bed. She found a small wooden treasure box, helped him paint/decorate it, and told him every night he sleeps in his own bed, the SF will give him a gift. SF left little Lego people, small candies, and other small toys and treats for a month. It got to where he looked forward to sleeping in his own bed. After a month, the SF wrote a heartfelt message to the boy, letting him know how proud of him they were and it was time for her to go and help other little boys and girls sleep in their beds. Son is now 14 and he still has the SF treasure box in his room that he never f*****g leaves.
My nephew refused to vacuum so I told him the thing about the vacuum sucking up ghosts. I said that vacuuming kept houses from getting haunted, that’s why haunted houses are so dusty. Ten years later he is still a neat freak and I feel responsible.
My kid went up 4 reading levels over Covid lockdown - everyone thought I was really putting in a big effort with his reading.
Truth is, I just turned on subtitles on the TV.
To learn more about the little white lies that parents often tell their kiddos, we reached out to mom, parenting expert and Founder of Pregnant Chicken, Amy Morrison. Amy was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda and explain why mothers and fathers sometimes resort to these hacks.
"Parenting is hard (and exhausting at times), so I think most parents will find ways to make life a little easier by bending the truth occasionally," she noted. "In the past, I have definitely used the 'park closing excuse' to get a stubborn toddler to go home."
We do "toy rotation"! When they start getting bored of their toys that they have out, we pack them up and pull the other boxes out of their closet and unpack those. It's like Christmas all over again. No new toys, they're the same old toys, but they love it. We rotate them every month to 2 months.
I dunno if it's truly unethical, but don't react when your kid falls over. The first thing your kid will do once they have fallen is look to you, and if you panic, they'll panic and start crying.
Ensure your kids won’t bother you by telling them to wake you up in an hour so we can start cleaning the house - they will do anything to avoid waking you.
As a kid, I would have spent the hour watching cartoons but then told my mother that I had spent it doing my part of the cleaning.
We also asked Amy if there's anything wrong with using these little tricks. "For the most part, I think these tactics are harmless," she says. "However, I think they can turn harmful quickly, so parents should keep an eye on them."
"Lies that instill fear or shame in a child might work in the short term but can often have lasting effects that you probably don't want," Amy warns. "Children often take what you say at face value, and you want to ensure you're not traumatizing them or damaging their trust."
Told our daughter that the kids ears turn red when they lie, but only parents can see it.
She would enter rooms with her hands covering her ears, and we knew we were in for a lie lol.
Why is this called unethical and manipulative? Who makes this person the expert over raising my children. Books can only teach you so much. You were not there and do not know my children.
Not exactly unethical but one way my mom got child-me to stop crying was to rapidly cover and uncover my mouth (kinda like how people used to imitate native Americans back in the day). The resulting noise I made never failed to make me laugh hysterically and calmed me down instantly. Mom's a real cheeky lady
If you want your toddler to do something they don’t really wanna do then ask them a question where all possible answers involve them doing the thing.
For example, when my kid was in the bath, they never wanted to get out when bath time was over. So I just asked ‘do you want to climb out yourself, or do you want me to lift you out?
Worked every time.
Finally, we asked Amy if she could share some advice for parents who want to avoid resorting to these hacks whenever possible.
"As long as something is safe and kind, there's no reason you can't use creative ways to parent, and if it works, great! I think most parents understand that these little hacks are short term solutions to get us through the day and not long term strategies," she explained.
When my son was a baby, dude cried like a banshee, and he cried a lot. I was the bath-giver, and it was especially bad in there due to the small space. So I went on Amazon and got myself some noise muffling earmuffs (like what you'd use on a gun range or something) and it made the crying so much less stressful and easy to deal with so I could just focus on loving him without the noise grating my soul.
Maybe not that unethical, but I've gotten negative reactions from some people when I told them about it.
A unstressed parent is a better parent. People who can't admit that it's hard and stressful are a big problem and make other parents feel like they are failing. Well done for finding away to make dealing with a crying baby work. I wish I'd thought of it. I used to walk away for 2mins
Telling your kids that the car won't start unless everyone's seatbelt is buckled. It’s sneaky, but at least it’s for their safety!
If a kid is upset and crying, have them drink some water "it'll make you feel better". They can't cry and drink at the same time, and generally calm down quicker so you can actually figure out what's going on. (Or they realise whatever they bumped doesn't actually hurt)
Works great in a class full of 4 year olds.
If my son was crying from a minor sidewalk fall, I'd put on an "oh no" worried mom face. Then I'd inspect sidewalk, and told him if his fall broke the sidewalk ,we could all get in trouble. He was a smart kid and kinda knew that was bull, but if i was being my usual smart-ázz self, rather that babying him or acting scared, hed figure out quickly he was OK. Well, that and the fact that when he was learning to ride his bike without training wheels, when falls would be inevitable for a bit, the song Tubthumping by Chumbawumba was popular, so if he wiped out, we would start singing the part with 'I get knocked down, I get up again.....'. Redirecting worked great with him until about elementary school age
But you might also be able to adjust the way you use these hacks as your children grow up. "As my kids got older (and before they got wiser to the fact that parks don't close), I changed my strategy to say that we had to go home in a few minutes, and asked if they wanted to go on the slide or the swings before we left. Giving them a non-negotiable heads up that we are leaving the park but some flexibility on what they could do in the time they have left," Amy told Bored Panda.
I got one. I foster "difficult" teen boys. Obviously their home life wasn't great and they imitate some b******t behavior. When I set boundaries they don't like a lot of kids want to physically fight me because that's the way they've learned to solve problems
OK so here's the unethical part. If they want it I am the one. We glove up and go to the back yard. I block and dodge until they're gassed, they cry out of frustration and we hug it out.
I've gone to work with a shiner more than once. But the kids learn that no matter how bad you are there's always someone badder, tough guy s**t don't make your problems go away, and a physical contest makes you feel better
My kids have been thrown out of school, Foster homes, alternative learning schools, every program they've ever been in. Having an outlet for that energy and anger helps but it's not exactly ethical to tell a kid if they want it they can come get it .
The population you're working with has a better chance of ending up in jail than graduating high school. Do what you gotta do. Hopefully this is step one of transitioning to dealing with feelings in more conventional, constructive ways. Indulging violence won't work in the long run.
I tell my kids that the internet "closes" at 8PM and it's not back on until 8AM the next day so they dont try and go crazy with the screen time. Really, I just shut off the router.
As a bonus, it's better for me and my husband too because we have no choice but to put down the screens and talk to each other or listen to records together until its time for us to go to sleep. It's actually quite nice. Highly recommend.
We had a router that could be turned off for specific computers. That way the teens were shut down but my husband's computer still had internet.
This may have worked better for me since one of the kid's parents has hearing loss, but I told my 4-at- the- time nephew that I couldn't hear whining but if he would like to try again in a different tone of voice, I could understand him better - right now I could see his lips move but that was all. He did an admirable job with modulation after that and I got him what he'd asked for.
If you're playing hide and seek with your toddler, you don't have to start seeking straight away.
Take a moment. Have a cup of coffee.
Did you miss not having model rockets as a kid?
Buy them for your kids.
Buy ALL the toys you wish you had when you were a kid (and enjoy them with or without your kids).
I still dream of BRIO wooden train tracks with twists and turns and hills and lifts and bridges... I'm bummed that adult me has no more spare money to buy them than my mom had when I was little.
Tell your kid that they snore in their sleep really often, that way you’ll know if they’re pretending to sleep because they’ll fake snore.
I don’t have kids, but the best hack I’ve heard is to play the New Years Eve countdown from a country in a different time zone. Doesn’t matter if it’s a different language - kids down care. They get fireworks, m a countdown, and get to stay up late - but are actually in bed by 9pm ahaha
My nephew heard about midnight feasts. Grandma, in a very conspiratorial tone, explained there was something even better. (Quick look around to make sure no one is overhearing the conversation.) It's the Seven Twenty Nine Club! At 7.29, you get a hot chocolate, a slice of hot buttered toast, and a slice of cake.Then it's teeth brushed, loo visited, off to bed, and **TWO** chapters of a story read aloud.
Teaching your 6yo daughter how to throw a proper punch then sparring with her for a bit reduced her class room bully who terrorized everyone to a much better behaved young man..... at least around her. .
Our school did a balance-challange every year, every class including teachers. We would face each others while two feets apart, and have our palms touch but not grasp. The aim is to get you opponent to lose balance using only preassure and deception. The real aim is to show how much bodycontroll and balance matter in a fight, and to teach the boys that girls kick a*s too
Saw this video on Instagram: When it's past their bedtime, Dad changes the language on the TV to Spanish. When the kid's act confused, he says it "must be because you're tired".
I pretended that certain foods such as the skin on steamed salmon and broccoli are incredibly delicious and would ask my kids if I could eat theirs. Other parents found it hilarious that my kids would be begging for slimy salmon skin and be delighted when I gave them cucumbers. .
My son hates tomatoes. It’s amazing how many foodstuffs now contain tomatoes as a major ingredient.
My mom hates tomatoes. It's a texture thing. Puree and cook then and she's fine.
I'm not sure this qualifies as unethical but my kids sure thought it did.
When they were young, they has difficulty gaining weight. It wasn't that they weren't eating, their metabolisms were just too fast. One of the thing the doctors recommended was giving them milkshakes every morning. This would pack in the calories but we realized it would also fill them up so they wouldn't get some other nutrients and especially any fiber. I began adding chocolate flavored protein powders and frozen spinach (turns out frozen spinach is close to flavorless). One morning they caught me throwing the spinach into the blender and had a fit. I told them this was the first time I tried it and promised not to do it again. The next morning I added it anyway as well as some chocolate chips so they'd have a special treat as an apology.
It was adorable having them come up to me and tell me it was the best milkshake I'd ever made with tinybgreen bits of spinach in their teeth.
BTW they're now in their 20s and are nearly a head taller than me & my wife.
Illusion of choice.
We can have x or y. What do *you* want?
This might not be unethical depending on how you feel about it and how you use it. In the end, children, just like adults, want to be treated with respect and decency. They want to know their input is valued.
If they lie to me, their tongue will turn purple.
the hesitation when you ask them to show you their tongue if they’ve lied.
Hack ruined when 3 year old (youngest child) had them all sit in front of the mirror, tell lies, and check each other’s tongues.
Not sure how unethical this is, but here we go. i have two older siblings. my parents didn't know the best way for them to help my oldest sibling how to read. My other sibling (middle child), they did 'the smartie game'. (smarties are a type of sweet by the way) Every time they got a flash card word right, they got given a smartie.
For me though, every time I got a word right, all three of us would get a smartie. So my siblings used to chase me around the house just before 'the game' with the flash cards, making sure I knew what the card said, because they wanted the sweets.
It doesn't have to be smarties (or other sweet for that matter), but the bribery worked well it seems.
Smartie the sugar tablet (USA), or Smartie the candy coated chocolate (Canada)?
My kids goldfish died while we were on vacation and I was prepared to have a lesson about the transience of life and that all things eventually perish
"Daddy, where's Mr Fishy?"
"Well Boogie, he's..."
<-- sees worried almost tearful little eyes
"On vacation! Know how you and I went on vacation? So did he and we're going to pick him up right now"
<-- drives to pet shop
"Hmm Boogie, I don't see Mr Fishy anywhere... do you?"
"DADDY! He's right there!!"
"I can't believe I missed him! Why don't you check out some of the other stuff and I'll pay his room and board at the cashier".
Turn up the music in the back of the minivan. You'll be able to hear everything the teenagers are talking about...
If your toddler accidentally touches something hot you have to opportunity to tell him many things in the house are also hot and should be avoided.
I taught my son when he started walking that if the oven light is on, that means the stove is very hot and not to go near it. He's almost 8 now and still won't even go in the kitchen if the oven light is on.
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I like a lot of these but geez, guys... Lie to your kids and they will never trust you again once they find out. I know, it happened to me, I was the kid who was lied to but with "good intentions."
It depends on the type of lies I think. Everything we weren’t allowed to do had some crazy fantastical reason when I was little, my dad made up the weirdest stuff and we loved it. I still trust him despite figuring out there are no crocodiles hiding under our toilet. :p
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It wasn't unethical at all, but one of the best ones I remember was when my church had a vaccination clinic. My son and I each needed one, so when it got to be our turn I asked the nurse if I should get mine first so he would see that it didn't hurt. She said no, she'd give him his first. She gave him his shot and put a band-aid on it, and he was crying . . . right up until she handed him another band-aid and told him his job was to put it on me after she gave me my shot. He had a job to do, and forgot all about crying.
I like a lot of these but geez, guys... Lie to your kids and they will never trust you again once they find out. I know, it happened to me, I was the kid who was lied to but with "good intentions."
It depends on the type of lies I think. Everything we weren’t allowed to do had some crazy fantastical reason when I was little, my dad made up the weirdest stuff and we loved it. I still trust him despite figuring out there are no crocodiles hiding under our toilet. :p
Load More Replies... It wasn't unethical at all, but one of the best ones I remember was when my church had a vaccination clinic. My son and I each needed one, so when it got to be our turn I asked the nurse if I should get mine first so he would see that it didn't hurt. She said no, she'd give him his first. She gave him his shot and put a band-aid on it, and he was crying . . . right up until she handed him another band-aid and told him his job was to put it on me after she gave me my shot. He had a job to do, and forgot all about crying.
