If you could invite three famous people to a dinner party at your house, who would they be? Your favorite musician? A social justice warrior? The author of your favorite book or the actor who you remember as your first celebrity crush as a kid? In this fantasy scenario, you likely imagine that these celebrities would be thrilled to attend an evening in your home, and the four of you would bond over shared interests and enjoy glasses of wine late into the night over deep and meaningful conversations. If they only knew you personally, these stars would love you!
Unfortunately, organically encountering a celebrity in real-life is often much less magical and much more awkward and uncomfortable than we would imagine. One curious person asked on Reddit, “Anyone ever have a confrontation with a celebrity?” And hundreds of people shared their most disappointing and embarrassing experiences with stars. Below, you will find many of these cringe-worthy stories that might remind you never to put people on a pedestal. Be sure to upvote the stories you find most hilarious and painful, and let us know in the comments if you have ever had a strange run-in with a celebrity. Then if you’d like to check out another Bored Panda article featuring less than ideal experiences with famous people, you can find that right here.
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I was at an Obama rally back in August of 2007. We were at Florida A&M, in a smallish gym. We had shaken Obama's hand and talked to him a bit, and ended up following him back behind the barricade, talking to him. He ended up hugging us and all this stuff, but security was not too keen on it so they asked us to move.
Obama climbs up on the bleachers to take a picture with the band. Security ends up pushing me to move on the other side of the barricade (not hard, but it was crowded), and I fell forward.
I reached up to grab the first thing to stop my fall.
It was Barack Obama's a*s cheek.
He laughed.
My grandfather owned a large scale electronics store, that often rented concert equipment. Prince's manager came in the store asking to be helped in front of all these people who were waiting in line. The manager was apparently so annoying that,...
manager: HELLO isn't anyone going to help me?
grandpa: there are plenty of people in line in front of you
manager: yes, well I represent _prince_
grandpa: I don't care who Prince is, I'm the king.
the end.
Love this! I hate it when people try and use their status to get ahead of everybody else. Well done, Grandpa :)
I used to manage a Spencer's Gifts in an upscale mall in PA. Bam Margera and his crew came in on a very slow weekday. One of his guys asks at me to close the store so Bam can shop without being hassled (out of earshot of Bam). I politely informed the guy that we don't close the store for anyone. The guy gets loud and in my face threatening to call my bosses and get me fired...and this guy was really big and intimidating. About 20 seconds into his loud ranting I suddenly see a fist come out of nowhere and drop the guy. It was Bam. He very calmly told the guy, who was now streaming obscenities and trying to pick himself off the floor, to shut the f**k up and wait outside. He then profusely apologized and continued shopping while the rest of his crew laughed their asses off. He bought a few shock pens and a few t-shirts. My opinion of Bam changed that day dramatically from negative to positive.
We know logically that celebrities are people just like us, but for some reason, it can be hard to view them that way when we see them in person. We may have been watching them for years in films or on shows, playing professional sports on TV, or attending their concerts with thousands of other fans, but it can be very jarring to run into them. We often know so much about them that it can be hard to play it cool, and especially if we are a big fan, we can feel pressure to make the encounter meaningful or memorable. “Should I ask for an autograph? Should I even say hello? Should I compliment them? Or should I just leave them alone?”
Regardless of how awkward or strange an experience is with a celebrity, clearly they are usually memorable. The stories shared on Reddit may make you want to never run into a celebrity on your own time, but they also are amusing to read. I used to live in Los Angeles, and I have a variety of brief encounters with celebrities or times I’ve spotted them from a distance. But I never was bold enough to acknowledge who they are. I just smiled, nodded, and gave the minimum amount of a polite response when, for example, Cameron Diaz told me, “I have to pee, but I’ll be right back!” at an event I was working.
I swapped spit with Bill Murray.
When I was a toddler we went to a Saint Paul Saints game. Bill Murray was there with a bunch of press for some reason that I am unaware of. He happened to encounter my mother holding me, and in a very Bill Murray way he took the pacifier out of my mouth and popped it into his mouth. The press laughed and I, apparently, in a huff, ripped it out of his mouth and put it back into mine.
Ta-da.
I went to a Pittsburgh Pirates game when I was 8 years old so we went early to see batting practice. My sister and I were out leaning over the wall trying to catch a ball and one landed just short of my glove. Now I hate my self but I can not remember the player's name but he was on the Reds and he ran over and tossed the ball up to me.
While the ball was in the air this huge man knocks me over trying to catch the ball and knocks it back onto the field. The player runs over and starts screaming at the guy in a combination of English and Spanish and actually got the guy thrown out of the park. Then he had me lean over the wall and he jumped up and placed the ball in my glove. And told me to enjoy the game.
TL:DR A professional baseball player got a guy kicked out of the park for knocking me to the ground over a ball.
EDIT: Just talked to my dad and it turns out it was Julio Lugo who was playing for the Astro's at the time. It was in 2000 so his rookie season. Sorry for the wrong team guys!
I get that the guy was probably a big fan, but knocking a literal child over to get a ball? I'm glad he got thrown out.
I was at a horror convention years ago, where Adam West was one of the guests. As I was coming back in from outside the convention center, I noticed he was leaving so I held open the door for him.
"Have a good evening, Mister West!" I said.
He turned around, rolled his eyes, and snorted "Whatever."
This royally pissed me off. So I responded, without thinking "Wow, you're a prick!"
He turned back to me, and growled in that Adam West voice "Go to Hell!"
Yeah, Batman told me to go to Hell.
Hi, not so closet geek here. West had a bad reputation on the convention circuit for this c**p. He thought he was an Oscar winning alister instead of the world's most annoying and campy Batman. As my dad said, "I only watched for Eartha Kitt."
We really should not become so starstruck, but sometimes, we just can’t help it. Plenty of us have trouble striking up a conversation with a person we have a crush on or get nervous when we have to do a presentation at work, so speaking to a famous person who we are shocked to have run into in the first place can feel extremely overwhelming. Plus, you never know how they will react. To give some of these stars the benefit of the doubt, you have no way of knowing what kind of day they were having before these encounters.
I have certainly been short with a grocery store cashier or unintentionally bumped into someone while rushing down the street if I was in a hurry or dealing with a mountain of stress that day. 99% of the time I am kind and patient with strangers, but I know that the 1% of the time I am having an off-day, no one will know. Imagine being a celebrity who can’t even pick up some groceries or play with their children on the beach without being approached or photographed. Every encounter they have might be scrutinized and documented, so of course, there will be times where they are caught on less than their best behavior.
When I was sixteen my first job was at a Cinemark movie theatre. I was pretty new there, and they had me working as a runner for concessions, meaning I would only fill up sodas and popcorn. I heard someone around me say "Oh my god! Chuck Norris is here!" and being the awesome teenager that I was I immediately quipped "Chuck Norris? I heard his wife is hot!" Right when I say that I turn around to set down a bag of popcorn, and who is standing right in front of me?
**Chuck. F*****g. Norris.**
He had this giant s**t eating grin on his face. This was before any of his internet stardom, and he was still in the middle of filming episodes of Walker Texas Ranger. I know he heard me say that stuff about his wife, and for a second I thought about the fact that he had studied under Bruce Lee, and had held many martial arts titles in his day (I was sort of obsessed with Bruce Lee at that time), and how he could have easily struck me from across that counter, or pulled me over it, or jumped over it and kicked my a*s with an assortment of candies that were beneath me. He doesn't say a goddamn word to me though, just looks me dead in the eye. And winks. Chuck Norris winked at me because I said his wife was hot. He grabbed his popcorn and his drink, and walked away while I stood there dumbfounded and probably ghost white. Since that happened I have not aged a day, which is an eternal curse, because now I'm stuck in the body of a s**t headed sixteen year old.
**tl;dr** Chuck Norris overheard me say his wife was hot and was cool about it.
Chuck Norris doesn't wink, all matter disappears for half a second.
I was working in the art department on a music video at Pete's bar in LA a few weeks ago for his crappy new band. He decided it would be a great idea to get wasted on set. Near the end of the 18 hour day, I started cleaning up. I was minding my own business and scooping gumballs and broken glass from the stagnant bar sink water.Yes, gumballs. Bubblegum was the theme of the video and he poured a 3 pound bag of gumballs on the singer when I had instructed him to throw one handful at her and one at the audience. Pete stumbled over, looked at me, looked at the sink, looked at my gloved hands, and said "This beer isn't f*ckin cold enough." He proceeded to pour an entire pint of corona on my hands and arms (I was in such shock I didn't think to move them immediately). I looked a him incredulously. He shrugged and walked away.
TLDR: Pete Wentz poured beer on me. On purpose. He's an a*****e.
My cousin recently was at some kind of college speech in the UK where Johnny Depp was speaking. My cousin yelled out that they couldnt hear him speak and Johnny walked all the way over to him and brought him on stage to sit right next to him for the entire ordeal. Pretty neat. I might be able to get a pic too
I also cannot imagine how it feels to have a lack of privacy and personal space. Sometimes fans don’t understand that, regardless of how well they think they know a star from watching all of their work, following them on social media and studying their interviews, they do not actually have a relationship with them. If a random stranger approached you on the street asking for a photograph or expecting to have a conversation with you, you would likely be very put-off and might react in a way that seems rude. Celebrities have to deal with that all the time. In no way am I saying that they should have a free pass to be jerks or receive special treatment everywhere they go, but they are human beings too. And we should all be afforded personal space and boundaries, everywhere we go.
Not a big confrontation, but stil funny. My parents were at Costco buying groceries in LA when they saw Tim Curry in the checkout line. They were quietly trying to see what he was buying (to tell stories about it later,) so my dad casually walks by his cart, pretending to put back some cashews or something. He got a look in his cart, and all Tim Curry had in the cart were about a dozen boxes of frozen crab cakes. Just crab cakes, nothing else. My dad turns back around to report back to my mom, and happens to get a look at him. Tim Curry was just staring my dad down, not saying anything, just looking at him because he knew what my dad was doing and he was not in the mood. So my dad, in a panic, says loudly "I love shelfish" then awkwardly walks back to my mom at the cart. Says nothing else until they leave the store.
I got into a staring contest with the lead singer of Mudvayne, Chad Grey.
We were in a bar in Portland, Oregon. I looked at him, he looked at me and did that 'open eyes wide and stare intently' at me. I took my glasses off and mad dog stared at him. He grit his teeth, I made my eyes wince. Then we both kind of nodded and went back to our drinks.
Okay here's mine. I once biked into an actor who famously voiced Ernie from Sesame Sreet. He got angry and shouted at me. And I should have apologised. But he sounded exactly like his character in Sesame Street. So while he was fumming, all I could do was laugh and shout "You're Ernie!".
A friend of mine was a production assistant on *The Dark Knight* and was with Heath Ledger on the elevator he comes out of during the fund raiser/dinner Wayne throws for Dent (not during filming, of course.) The production assistants were told not to speak with the actors and not to stare at them, etc. Knowing this, Ledger apparently walked circles around her on the elevator, breathing down her neck, all up in her face, licking his lips, and all the while in full makeup and character.
She said she was as terrified as she was giddy.
Wasn't he a method actor? Because if he was makes sence not to look at him or talk to him before a shooting.
Sometimes celebrities also have to be wary of how welcoming they are towards the advances of strangers because they have no way of knowing if they are in danger or not. Similarly to how women often come off as rude to creepy men who make them feel uncomfortable and unsafe, famous people have to keep a bit of a guard up as well. Unfortunately, it is not uncommon for celebrities to be stalked by dangerous fans. Justin Bieber, Gigi Hadid, Selena Gomez, Taylor Swift, and many more stars have had to take legal action against stalkers in the past. In fact, when one man was arrested after stalking Taylor Swift at her Los Angeles home, his car was found to have ammunition, a rope and gloves in it. Regardless of how you feel about Taylor Swift as an artist, it’s frightening to imagine what he could have been planning.
Not me but my sister....
So she lives in Hawaii and during the time when Lost was being filmed she and my brother in law went to a concert (radiohead or sigur ros, i forget). Before the show started, she decided to go to the the bathroom. Walking out of the bathroom she runs right into Dominic Monaghan. In her altered state her reaction is... "Ah! Hobbit!" He kind of giggled/snorted and walked away. She felt a tad embarrassed after that.
Have you ever opened a door at the exact moment someone else was about to do the same thing on the other side and bashed their head in? My mom did this to Leonard Nimoy.
Back in 05 or 06 when I was working for my college's event planning board, Dane Cook came to the campus for a huge comedy show and to film an episode of his HBO comedy show, Tourgasm. My job for the day was to be a runner, meaning I'd drive people wherever they needed to go. Usually that meant picking up lunches and buying guitar picks, but for the Tourgasm crew, it meant driving them up to lunch in Baltimore. I was actually pretty pumped, because (at the time) I was a fan, and (more importantly) the restaurant is pretty well known for serving delicious Maryland crabs. Dane's agent was a local and really wanted to go to this place, and Dane had been throwing a tantrum about it all morning--why couldn't we just get somethign close? What's so great about Maryland crabs? Waah waah waah.
We're in the car, and he starts up again, this time, laying in to me. First, he criticized my driving (it was a huge 13 passenger van; cut me some slack), saying I was going too fast after complaining about how long the trip was taking. Then he asks me, how much longer until we get there. There was a little traffic, so I figured I'd exaggerate a bit and hopefully we'd get there sooner. I told him it'd be another 15-20 minutes, and he starts complaining again. Finally I snap and say something like, 'you're the ones who wanted to go here. We'll get there when we get there.' They ended up airing that bit in the episode, and I haven't laughed at a Dane Cook joke since.
tl;dr I scolded Dane Cook like a child, and it aired on HBO.
He's also engaged to a 23 year old when he's 50. She's been going to "parties" at his house since she was 17 because Dane and her dad are friends. Overall, he seems to be a disgusting specimen.
If you find yourself in a situation where you spot one of your favorite actors or musicians in public, it might be hard to know whether you should approach them or not. But in general, I would recommend keeping your distance, especially if they are busy. If they are enjoying a meal with their family or friends, playing with their kids at the park, shopping for groceries, or grabbing a cup of coffee, they likely do not want to be bothered. It might be okay to say hello or let them know that you love their work, but asking for a photo or autograph will probably come off as rude. They just want to enjoy their life like everyone else, and I doubt you would enjoy it if every time you left your home, you were bombarded with requests for photos.
A couple years ago I was working at a Blockbuster in Santa Monica. A customer called to check and see if we had Howl's Moving Castle. We had it so I asked him for his last name so I could put it on hold. He said Cheadle. I didn't understand so I said cheetah. He said Cheadle again. Repeat. I ended up writing down cheetah on a piece of paper and putting it in the drawer anyway. An hour later in comes Don Cheadle who I thought was a cheetah.
John Williams almost ran me over with a car when I was crossing the road to go to a Boston Pops concert he was conducting.
It was f*****g awesome.
My mom was organizing a book signing for Bill Cosby and she messed up the scheduling so the fans arrived 30 minutes early. Cosby flipped out and started pointing at my mom saying, "THIS woman right here, she messed everything up! Blame her for your problems!"
Back in you box, mate, it's just a book signing. First world problems....
Now, if you are required to interact with a famous person at work, if they come in as a customer or you are catering an event full of stars, it’s best to keep calm and collected. They just wanted to be treated like regular people (for the most part, assuming they don’t have a massive ego and expect special treatment everywhere they go). Don’t stare or speak to them like they are aliens. Don’t do anything that goes beyond your job description. But if you work at a coffee shop and you are used to asking every customer how their day is going and striking up a short conversation, go ahead and do the same. For all they know, you might not even recognize them. So you can chat with them about the weather or whatever else is typical to talk to your customers about and then wish them a great day. If they are treated normally and get to avoid any awkward interactions, they are more likely to come back as well. I’m sure there are few places stars go where they can actually feel normal for a moment, so they are likely to cling to those places.
Don't know if it was confrontational so much as it was rude, but I once met David Hasselhoff at Rendono Beach when I was about 7-8 years old (so this was in the arc of his career in the mid-90s, plus my pop-culturally oblivious parents were the ones to spot him so you knew that meant this guy was primetime). I asked him for his autograph, and without skipping a beat or looking at me he said, "I'm playing with my children right now, beat it."
I stood there not sure how to react or what to do, and he looked at me and gave me this weird face like he just smelled the most rotten thing that could ever billow into the nostrils of a human being and yelled, "F**k off you little s**t!"
I ran away scared.
On two separate occasions I almost knocked Natalie Portman over while running across Harvard Yard. (she's really tiny and apparently our weekly schedules had us going in opposite directions at the same time)
I ran into Tom DeLonge from Blink 182 a couple years ago at a starbucks. I recognized who he was and said, "I used to love you guys!" he looked at me and said, "What do you mean, used too?" Then walked off. I really meant to say a compliment. Oh well.
When I lived in Los Angeles, a mother I babysat for told me the story of how she ran into Harry Styles while walking in the neighborhood and ended up chatting with him for at least half an hour. She only realized who he was later when she connected the dots of what he had told her and looked up a photo of him. But because she treated him like a regular person and just enjoyed having a conversation with him, he seemed to cherish that interaction. It must be extremely rare for someone with that caliber of fame to run into people who have no reaction to them. If you don’t realize who a celebrity is, or if you at least play it cool, they will probably treat you just the same as if you both were people with regular jobs.
My granddad once beat up Andy Rooney to take Judy Garland out on a date.
No, really. He beat the s**t out of him.
My father almost hit John Cena with his car at an event when I was younger. In that instance, you really couldn't see him ...
I ran into William Daniels (Mr. Feeny from Boy Meets World) on a flight from San Francisco to Chicago. I only realized it was him after my sister hit him on the side of the head with her carry-on as she was stowing up in the over head compartment whilst he was attempting to take a seat. He wasn't mad at all, laughed it off and shook our hands when we told him we loved him as Mr. Feeny. Really nice guy, polite and friendly when other passengers recognized him as well. He sat in front of us and we didnt bother him for the remainder of the flight. he waved bye to us while me and my sister were still stuck in baggage claim.
Now, there are certainly some celebrities out there whose egos have inflated their heads so large I’m not sure how they even fit through a doorway. They are likely surrounded by “yes men” all the time and they have enough money to get whatever they want whenever they want it. These people are probably the last stars you would ever want to encounter. And while I imagine that most of the rich and famous people of the world are not like that, the portion of people that are makes for excellent stories on this list. Whether they knock over little kids without batting an eye or demand to cut in line everywhere they go, I’ll allow for a bit of celebrity shaming in the comments when it comes to these folks.
So about four years ago (I was sixteen, my sister the same age) my family was at O'hare. And we were waiting for a delayed flight and then this jackass with a suit and slick backed hair walks up and starts acting tough and talking loud, yelling about random b******t with his friends. He quiets down and then tries looking down my sister's shirt. I see this and shout "Hey!" he then looks at me, shrugs and then walks away.
Found out on the plane it was Shia Labeouf. What an a*****e.
TL;DR Shia Labeouf stared at my underaged sister's chest.
I was at a local grill in my home town 3 years ago. all the sudden we see shaq come out of a bentley. I was with a large group of friends age range between 15-18, so we were just like oh F**K! He comes over and sits kinda close to us and one of my idiot friends turns to him and tells him "I loved you in space jam".
His sole response was "that wasn't me, that was mike". We gave him so much s**t.
I was 10 years old and waiting in line to get some cream cheese for my bagel from a little food stand in Phoenix Sky Harbor Airport. A man approached me and began talking to me of course my STRANGER DANGER alarm went off. He asked if he should get a bagel too and i warily replied "If you like bagels..." Luckily my mom was right behind me and the man began to talk to her as well. When he walked away my mom told me who he was. Henry Winkler.
TL:DR Got creeped out by The Fonz when i was 10.
We hope you’re enjoying this list of amusing, awkward and uncomfortable encounters with celebrities. Keep upvoting your favorite anecdotes, and then let us know in the comments if you have ever run into one of your favorite stars. Did they live up to your expectations, or did you immediately remove their name from your “celebrity dinner party” invitation list? I hope these stories are reminders that famous people are no more special than you or I, and in fact, they might even be less kind and considerate. I’ll take politeness and courtesy from a regular Joe over an attitude and ridiculous demands from a celebrity any day.
I was waiting tables at a nice restaurant when Pauley Shore came in and sat in my section with his entourage. I waited on him and at one point I had spilled some mustard on the table and Pauley said, "Duuude. You spilled the muuuuustard!" And yes, he was stoned off his gourd.
I worked at a concert venue. Not a direct confrontation per se, but Dave Matthews is an **a*****e**. Sorry for anyone who likes him, but his concerts are the worst f*****g thing ever.
First, he's so conceited that when he's walking around back stage, he tells staff supervisors that any staff members he walks by should turn their back and stare at the ground until he passes.
Second, the concert venue had big screens on the sides of the seats so people way in the back still had a semblance of a view. Dave Mathews required us to construct elaborate tarps hanging from the ceiling to block these, because he didn't want to look at himself while he was singing.
TLDR: Dave Mathews is an egotistical d**k.
(Don't even get me started about his fans.)
Met him when I worked security in college. I was working the back door and basically preventing fans from trying to sneak in. This little dude comes walking up to the door and I ask if I can help him, he says "I'm with the band". I tell him I've been hearing that all day and sort of chuckle. He gives me this pissed off look and pulls out an All-Access pass, name is Dave Matthew's. I say "Oh, sorry" and move aside to let him in. Heard him telling people that he couldn't believe I didn't know who he was. Also heard him complaining about the venue and "this s*** school should be grateful I'm even here." Complete a$$-hat.
I was about 8 years old and was at my first New Jersey Nets game. After the game you could meet some of the players and take pictures and stuff like that and I was basically in the back of a huge crowd of people surrounding the players. The meet and greet ended and players started leaving and then I saw Kerry Kittles walking my way. I was kinda upset I didn't get to meet anyone so I stepped in his path and stuck my hand up to him and said HI KERRY.....and he just plowed right through me. I mean he literally f*****g stepped on me and knocked me down and never looked back.
Ever since that day whenever I played a video game with him in it I would immediately put him on the bench for the whole game.
F**** you Kerry Kittles.
One of the most embarrassing moments of my life.
I met Emeril Lagasse. I saw him at a shopping mall for some kind of promotional thing he was doing there. I passed by and was looking at him and I ran straight into this big camera. It fell over and everybody just stared at me. Emeril came over and was really pissed, he was all red in the face and asked me why I ran into the camera. Nobody around seemed to notice he was being a huge douche. I told him it was an accident but he just told me to get out of there before I caused anymore trouble. Easily the weirdest thing that's ever happened to me. When I see him on TV it makes me cringe and I have to change the channel.
I had a friend from out of state swinging through town and we met in NYC for lunch and a couple of drinks.
We are eating at the bar and I see further down that Mike Myers (Snl, Austin Powers, etc) is at the other end of the bar watching a soccer game on the television and drinking a beer.
I had never encountered a celebrity before, and didn't want to be some obtrusive a*****e. But prior to paying our tab I walked over and said "hey Mike, I'm a big fan, can I buy you a beer?" And without even turning to look at me he says " I can afford my own drinks a*****e, save your money for my next movie".
I stood there speechless for a second and embarassedly turned back to my spot at the bar, we paid our tab and split without saying a word. I really felt like a d**k head, haha.
I was a bike courier in Philadelphia during the filming of "Law Abiding Citizen".
Part of the job was to deliver/pickup documents from city hall, where most of the filming was going on.
So one day I got out of the elevator in a huge rush only to walk into a crowd of people. I realized it was because Jamie Foxx and his henchmen were waiting for a ride up, trying to block fans away. So I ended up, in my rushed state, ramming into him and yelling "Outta my way, Jamie Foxx!" Only to get awkward glances from most people that saw...guess I took my job pretty seriously..
Kiefer Sutherland. That guy is an a*s hole. I used to work at a casino that would get different kinds of celebrities coming in. From Daman Waynes to Tito Ortiz. From Paul Rodriguez to Jenna Jameson. I remember we had Kiefer Sutherland come in and do a little gambling in the high limit room. He was there because he was shooting for the 7th season of 24. He came by the cashier window where I worked at and the only time I said anything to him was "How is your day so far Mr. Suthlerland" and "How would you like your money". The whole time he kept quiet. Did not say a word. Until he grabbed his money and I told him "Have a good day Mr. Sutherland". That's when he looked at me and literally said "You need to learn how to shut the f**k up".
I don't think I've ever had the most shocked look on my face before. I mean, I've had some f****d up customers, but I think this one took the cake.
He's such an a*****e and other actors refuse to work with him because of this reputation. Very angry guy, what a prick!
Shane MacGowan pissed on my shoes once.
**Edit for backstory:** Well, back from work now, so I might as well fill in the details.
Years ago, I worked as a barman in West London, and after closing time would generally make my way over to a great little pub -- now sadly a chocolatier's, apparently -- in Belgravia. Mr. MacGowan was a semi-regular there, so I'd seen him several times over the course of a few months before the night in question. Though I'd been a Pogues fan for years prior, I'd never approached him or said anything beyond polite chitchat if he happened to lean on the bar next to me while getting a pint.
On The Night of the Shoe-Pissing By a Drunken Musical Legend, I was upstairs at the urinal (I use the singular, as this was a proper old pub with a trough rather than individual porcelain bits as we're used to in North America), when lo and behold, the aforementioned Drunken Musical Legend wobbles over next to me, unzips, and begins to unleash. At first, he made solid contact on target, but gradually began to pivot.
All this time, I'm staring straight at the wall, as I *do not*, under any circumstances, wish to see Shane MacGowan's penis. Seriously, look at the man's teeth. I can't imagine what his junk looks like. The first inkling I have that anything's amiss is the sound and then feeling of p**s splattering over my Chuck Taylors.
No sooner had the downpour begun than it ended, I hear him zip up and wobble back out the door (and no, he didn't wash up. Did you really think he would?)
I wipe off the shoes as best I could, washed my hands rather thoroughly, and went back to my seat at the bar.
"Shane MacGowan just pissed on my shoes," I tell the manageress, who was tending bar.
"Happens to every man around here eventually, mate," she replies.
**TLDR:** Shane MacGowan pissed on my shoes once.
Not only was this an awkward confrontation, but one of the most traumatizing moments of my life.
I was running late for work one morning in Boston, but obviously still had to get my Dunkin Donuts. I was standing in line debating breakfast sandwiches next to a guy who had come in from a door on the other side of the store. A register opened up and I offered to let him go first. He replied "No, after you!" I was still unsure so I was like "Really, please go ahead, I don't know what I..." "I TOLD YOU TO F*****G GO!" And then I realized it was Gary Busey. It was terrifying for anyone to yell at me like that, but if you know anything about him you can only imagine the nightmares that followed.
Oh s**t - I forgot about my best "run-in". I was working in a mall kiosk selling cellphones. One night, some lady came in and wanted a handsfree headset. She asked if it would work with an out of country phone (I was in Vancouver then). I said of course. She came back later that night and said it didn't work. We had just set up the kiosk and I was unable to do refunds so I sent her (in the rain, mind you) to the main store down the street. The next day, she comes storming up to the kiosk. My work buddy goes - holy s**t, it's that woman...and she brought Arnie with her! The lady starts screaming at me for making her go out in the rain when the other store was closed (oops), all the while Arnold Schwarzenegger is standing behind her, looking confused and talking German to his friend. Turns out she was his personal shopper. Very surreal. This was in the 90s.
Ahh no one's gonna see this, but here goes...
I was in NYC once with a friend. We were walking north on Broadway from 46th to 47th street in Times Square. We were minding our own business not thinking anything about life, much less celebrities.
The walking light turned white and a group of like 50 people started walking. My friend and I were in the front of the group with our heads down.
Then we heard a little tire screeching and a car horn. As soon as I looked up there was a Land Rover's bumper on my right knee and my friend was bent over on the left fender. We both looked up at the driver and it was Usher. He had some hot girl in the passenger seat and he looked pissed that we were even walking in the middle of a GREEN crosswalk. I went to give him the finger, but the other 47+ people surrounded his car in adoration.
My friend and I kept on walking.
I was once at an outdoor cafe in Los Angeles and I see Beyonce Knowles walking toward me. She walks right up to me and says, "I lost my phone around here, have you seen it? It's one of those cute little flip phones with gold sparkles all over it." I told her sorry, I hadn't seen it and asked if she wanted me to try calling it so she might hear it? She sighs and says, "no, that aint gonna work, it's on silent mode". I told her, "If you liked it, then you shoulda put a ring on it."
*ducks*
I was working at a coffee shop in New York and Jesse Camp walked in and asked if he could use the bathroom. I said, "yeah if you buy a coffee," and he was like, "Don't you know who I am?" and I said buy a coffee or get the f**k out. He got the f**k out and the owner slapped me on the back.
I hated that guy.
In the 1980s when Richard Simmons was in his prime as a weight-loss influencer, he did a public event on the opening day of a new shopping mall. My brother-in-law and I went there that day. Richard enthusiastically greeted us as we entered. My brother-in-law tapped his hand on Richard’s belly and said “You look like you're putting on a little weight there, buddy.”
Almost ran Sarah McLachlan over with a 40 lb box of shrimp. 1989, working the folk festival. There was a separate entrance for the kitchen crew only. I was in the truck freezer, picked up this big box of shrimp, and due to the weight, found my self running to try to keep upright down the ramp, which was frozen at the top, I start sliding and running just as these two very well dressed people step in front of the end of the ramp. I scream get out of my way, and motor right into them, body checking Sarah McLachlan. I turn around and swear at them and demand to know why they are in the restricted area. Her boyfriend is laughing. She takes off her sunglasses and apologizes to me, and then I recognize her after having sworn at her. Gracious.
Seven years ago, my friend and I got tickets to see Benedict Cumberbatch play Hamlet at the Barbican. Everything about the production was amazing. At the end of the show, we're looking for a trash can, and we see Andrew Scott, who played Moriarty in BBC's Sherlock, walking up a long, sloped corridor towards us. I think, "That's nice. Let's be cool about it." My friend, however, flips out and starts booking towards him. And he goes white, turns around, and promptly jogs back the way he came. That was awkward. Sorry, Andrew Scott!
In the 1980s when Richard Simmons was in his prime as a weight-loss influencer, he did a public event on the opening day of a new shopping mall. My brother-in-law and I went there that day. Richard enthusiastically greeted us as we entered. My brother-in-law tapped his hand on Richard’s belly and said “You look like you're putting on a little weight there, buddy.”
Almost ran Sarah McLachlan over with a 40 lb box of shrimp. 1989, working the folk festival. There was a separate entrance for the kitchen crew only. I was in the truck freezer, picked up this big box of shrimp, and due to the weight, found my self running to try to keep upright down the ramp, which was frozen at the top, I start sliding and running just as these two very well dressed people step in front of the end of the ramp. I scream get out of my way, and motor right into them, body checking Sarah McLachlan. I turn around and swear at them and demand to know why they are in the restricted area. Her boyfriend is laughing. She takes off her sunglasses and apologizes to me, and then I recognize her after having sworn at her. Gracious.
Seven years ago, my friend and I got tickets to see Benedict Cumberbatch play Hamlet at the Barbican. Everything about the production was amazing. At the end of the show, we're looking for a trash can, and we see Andrew Scott, who played Moriarty in BBC's Sherlock, walking up a long, sloped corridor towards us. I think, "That's nice. Let's be cool about it." My friend, however, flips out and starts booking towards him. And he goes white, turns around, and promptly jogs back the way he came. That was awkward. Sorry, Andrew Scott!