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Gay Guy Spots Homophobic Uncle On Grindr, Exposes Him To Whole Family After One Slur Too Many

Gay Guy Spots Homophobic Uncle On Grindr, Exposes Him To Whole Family After One Slur Too Many

It’s kinda hard to believe it’s 2025 and, despite the best efforts of the gay rights movement, homophobia is still a thing. You’d think by now homosexuality wouldn’t be such a big deal, but a lot of closed-minded people still have a problem with it, sadly.

One netizen reveals how his homophobic uncle always shamed and berated him for being gay. Little did his uncle know that he’d spotted him on the Grindr app, though, giving him the perfect moment to get his revenge in front of the whole family. 

More info: Reddit

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    Being a target of homophobia is never easy, but this guy found the perfect opportunity to get his revenge

    Image credits: A.C. / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

    For five long years after he came out, his uncle constantly harassed, teased, and shamed him for being gay

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    Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    The guy knew his uncle was in the closet after spotting him on Grindr in a very compromising pic, but kept it to himself

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    Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels (not the actual photo)

    Then, years later at a family dinner, the uncle was ranting about how Pride parades were wrong, so he hit back by finally outing him in front of everyone

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    Image credits: VeryMemorableWord

    Now some of his family is giving him grief for humiliating his uncle, so he turned to the internet to ask if outing him was a jerk move

    Coming out can be tough, but being out and still dealing with that one family member? Even tougher. OP, now 25, came out at 20 and thought his family was cool with it, all except for Uncle Dave. Dave, 45, kept making cringey comments like “Don’t act so gay” or “Real men don’t flaunt it.” Classic awkward uncle energy, right?

    At a family dinner, Dave launched into a tirade about Pride parades being “perverts wanting attention” and how “real men” shouldn’t make a scene. His toxic masculinity was thriving until OP finally called him out, labeling him homophobic, but Dave smugly dismissed him, saying OP’s generation is “obsessed with labels.”

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    That’s when OP decided to drop the bomb. He’d secretly spotted Dave on Grindr before, recognizing him instantly by his torso tattoo, in a very NSFW pose, so, in front of the whole family, he clapped back, “That’s rich coming from a guy who’s on Grindr every weekend.” Cue the sound of a wine glass shattering – and probably Dave’s dignity, too.

    Now, opinions are split. Some family members say Dave deserved it, while others say outing someone, even a homophobic jerk, is never okay. OP feels torn. After years of jabs and veiled insults, it felt like justice. He admits to the community that outing someone is dangerous, but is now wondering if he crossed a line, or if Dave’s hypocrisy finally had to be challenged.

    Who can blame OP for finally snapping? Exposing Dave’s double life might’ve been a bit drastic, but it was all he had to hit back with in the moment, and to be fair, Dave did bring it on himself. Why would he act that way when he’s gay himself, though? We went looking for answers. 

    Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

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    According to The Rainbow Project website, in our homophobic, heterosexist, discriminatory culture, we’re constantly exposed to unfavorable ideas and messaging about homosexuality. 

    Like everyone else, members of the LGBTQI community may be socialized into thinking that being non-heterosexual is somehow wrong. This can lead to feelings of self-hatred and, ultimately, something called “internalized homophobia.”

    Internalized homophobia manifests itself in varying ways that can be linked to mental health, including denial of your sexual orientation to yourself and others, attempts to alter or change your sexual orientation, and contempt for more open or obvious members of the LGBTQI community. Sounds a lot like Uncle Dave, doesn’t it?

    In her article for VeryWellMind, Ariane Resnick writes that there is no single life circumstance that causes us to internalize homophobia. Rather, any variety of factors may lead us to feel negatively about ourselves. Some of these include family and upbringing, religious beliefs and teachings, and cultural influences.

    Perhaps OP’s outburst was the best thing that could have happened to his uptight uncle in the end. Now that Dave’s been unceremoniously outed, he can start working on shedding his internalized homophobia and replacing it with pride and open-mindedness.

    What would you have done if you’d found yourself in OP’s shoes? Do you think Dave finally got what he deserved? Let us know your opinion in the comments!

    In the comments, readers agreed the guy wasn’t a jerk and slammed his family for being so unsupportive of him in the face of his uncle’s constant homophobia over the years

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    Poll Question

    How do you feel about OP's decision to out his uncle during the family dinner?

    He was justified, given the circumstances

    It was too harsh, he crossed a line

    He should have confronted him privately

    I have mixed feelings about it

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    Ivan Ayliffe

    Ivan Ayliffe

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

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    After twenty years in advertising, I've decided to try my hand at journalism. I'm lucky enough to be based in Cape Town, South Africa and use every opportunity I get to explore everything it has to offer, both indoors and out. When I'm not reading, writing, or listening to podcasts, I spend my time swimming in the ocean, running mountain trails, and skydiving. While I haven't travelled as much as I'd like, I did live in !ndia, which was an incredible experience. I love live music, whether it's in a massive stadium or an intimate club setting.

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    Ivan Ayliffe

    Ivan Ayliffe

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    After twenty years in advertising, I've decided to try my hand at journalism. I'm lucky enough to be based in Cape Town, South Africa and use every opportunity I get to explore everything it has to offer, both indoors and out. When I'm not reading, writing, or listening to podcasts, I spend my time swimming in the ocean, running mountain trails, and skydiving. While I haven't travelled as much as I'd like, I did live in !ndia, which was an incredible experience. I love live music, whether it's in a massive stadium or an intimate club setting.

    Monika Pašukonytė

    Monika Pašukonytė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

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    I am a visual editor here. In my free time I enjoy the vibrant worlds of art galleries, exhibitions, and soulful concerts. Yet, amidst life's hustle and bustle, I find solace in nature's embrace, cherishing tranquil moments with beloved friends. Deep within, I hold a dream close - to embark on a global journey in an RV, accompanied by my faithful canine companion. Together, we'll wander through diverse cultures, weaving precious memories under the starry night sky, fulfilling the wanderlust that stirs my soul.

    Read less »

    Monika Pašukonytė

    Monika Pašukonytė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    I am a visual editor here. In my free time I enjoy the vibrant worlds of art galleries, exhibitions, and soulful concerts. Yet, amidst life's hustle and bustle, I find solace in nature's embrace, cherishing tranquil moments with beloved friends. Deep within, I hold a dream close - to embark on a global journey in an RV, accompanied by my faithful canine companion. Together, we'll wander through diverse cultures, weaving precious memories under the starry night sky, fulfilling the wanderlust that stirs my soul.

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    I am John
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The uncles 45? I mean, he's not from the 1960's. "His generation" was pretty openly gay as well...

    Grenelda Thurber
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Weird how all the photos in the article are men clearly in their sixties, if not older. If he's 45 now, he's a very young Gen Xer. He's from the "Will and Grace" generation.

    Load More Replies...
    Ellinor
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Huge NTA for me. He insulted you for years all while being exactly like you (and cheating on his wife) ? Nah, not the ahole in the slightest.

    Ms.GB
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sometimes if you play with fire you get burned Unc...

    Robert Sale
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA. Personally, I don’t believe in hurling insults or belittling anyone for their beliefs or opinions until said person just doesn’t concede the fact that everyone has opinions, whether those beliefs agree or not. Once the line of being unreasonable or harassing has been crossed, that person has opened the door for any attack launched in their direction. It might very well be seen as hurtful or harmful but that should have been taken into consideration by the offending party at the beginning. This was definitely a case of the uncle asking for this response.

    Ben Aziza
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What about the belief that a dude is SO MAGIC that god bows to him, and he gets to marry a child and that it is the highest honor to act like him in your life too? Or the beliefs that magic space ships will save your soul or watever at the price of all your money and dedication? Or the beliefs that women will burn in hell for showing their hair and boy's pepes have to mutilated at age 4? What about… I can go on. You get the point. Some beliefs are utter s**t and deserve the humiliation cus they continue to corrupt other people to this day.

    Load More Comments
    I am John
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The uncles 45? I mean, he's not from the 1960's. "His generation" was pretty openly gay as well...

    Grenelda Thurber
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Weird how all the photos in the article are men clearly in their sixties, if not older. If he's 45 now, he's a very young Gen Xer. He's from the "Will and Grace" generation.

    Load More Replies...
    Ellinor
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Huge NTA for me. He insulted you for years all while being exactly like you (and cheating on his wife) ? Nah, not the ahole in the slightest.

    Ms.GB
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sometimes if you play with fire you get burned Unc...

    Robert Sale
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA. Personally, I don’t believe in hurling insults or belittling anyone for their beliefs or opinions until said person just doesn’t concede the fact that everyone has opinions, whether those beliefs agree or not. Once the line of being unreasonable or harassing has been crossed, that person has opened the door for any attack launched in their direction. It might very well be seen as hurtful or harmful but that should have been taken into consideration by the offending party at the beginning. This was definitely a case of the uncle asking for this response.

    Ben Aziza
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What about the belief that a dude is SO MAGIC that god bows to him, and he gets to marry a child and that it is the highest honor to act like him in your life too? Or the beliefs that magic space ships will save your soul or watever at the price of all your money and dedication? Or the beliefs that women will burn in hell for showing their hair and boy's pepes have to mutilated at age 4? What about… I can go on. You get the point. Some beliefs are utter s**t and deserve the humiliation cus they continue to corrupt other people to this day.

    Load More Comments
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