Kiddo got life figured out

Some questions should not be asked, if you can't handle the true answer.

He's going to hide the baby in her suitcase.

The guy just can't win.

Raise your hand if you're guilty.

Haha, that is so me. Maths is the worst.

"your inactivity is appreciated" - perfect, I'm gonna quote that sentence sometimes :)

Unwinable situatin.

In our family, the manager is father hahaha

hahahahaha i love this!

At that rate, he'd better win the lottery.

They will definitely find out. Just you wait. No kid should make it through his childhood without seeing Star Wars.

I always hate the reply to that simple question...."What is there?" Do I really have to list everything in the fridge, freezer and cupboards, as well as everything I could make from them?

Best.valentines.EVER

Too much Miracle Grow. It says right there on the label: Do not use on plastic plants.

But visiting with all the relatives doesn't bother him? Lol

Can relate to this! All it takes is a brief temporary absence from me to reduce the communal areas of the house to war zones!

I'm here for a good time, not a long time.

Sooo true, always concerning when the kids are quiet.

I understand why Peter Pan never wanted to grow up, too much responsibility. Sometimes I would rather fight pirates than live in reality lol.

Tell her that the family with 4 kids moved.

Wow. What kind of refrigerator do they have that it can hold 6 gallons of milk?

Me

My wife....

You gotta admit her reasoning makes sense.

I love my rubber jar opener. Have arthritis. Don't have husband.

Pet pigs? I thought they were cats.

Hey, comedians make people laugh. That saves sanity.

No! Keep the cats! Edit: pigs.